Today is Julien’s birthday, and so some friends in Winston are gathering to Roast her. Hoping to participate remotely, I tried to come up with a list of solid burns to text her. The result: …
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The Roast
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hunger (?)
I’m currently working with a nutritionist, because lately, I can’t seem to stop myself from eating entire bags of goldfish and washing it down with nine bottles of wine which for SOME REASON is affecting …
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who I actually Am
Lately, especially in the last few years, I’ve been engaged in a fair amount of Fanciness, and so I want to make sure it’s clear to my readers who I actually Am: I am not …
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Mrs. Elli May
My dear cousin Elli was married yesterday, in a beautiful ceremony featuring vintage cars, all of her eight sisters shaking their butts in unison for eternity and happy, happy tears. This bride began her night …
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moi, avec mes cousins
(Except for Dan who is my brother, not my cousin) (Also except for Morrison, who is also not my cousin) (But wouldn’t THAT have been a fun twist) We are Gathered in Cleveland, Ohio, which, …
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SO MANY QUESTIONS
Why the hat? Does it come with the book? Do you have to be a Petite Asian woman to use it? How does it arrive? WHY IS IT ON SALE SHOULD I ADD IT TO …
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ALEXA, OFF
A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was …
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This is Women
Oh Hi, have you noticed that this week my blog has basically been reduced to 2 sentences? No? Just me? GOOD, PLEASE KEEP NOT NOTICING, AS IF THERE’S ONE THING I SHOULD NOT HAVE ANXIETY …
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ROMAINES OF THE DAY
Question for FDA: is romaine safe to eat again, or are we all spending our lunch breaks committing long and oily suicides? BY WHICH I MEAN, SALADCIDE? NO REALLY IT’S FINE I’LL SEE MYSELF OUT
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NEVER TOO EARLY
Nothing to see here, just out here getting ALREADY VERY EXCITED ABOUT THANKSGIVING because it’s kind of gray today and we are hosting Morrison’s whole fam for it and I get to love them with …