Phone developer person: People are really happy with our product. Other phone developer: You’re right, they are. Phone developer person:…perhaps a little TOO happy. Other phone developer: you’re RIGHT. They’re far TOO happy. Phone developer …
-
-
these jerks
-
LEST SHE NEVER FORGET
My bachelorette in Vegas was amazing and ridiculous in every way, involved every thinkable and reproachable bachelorette cliche. IT IS SO LIBERATING TO JUST EMBRACE THE CLICHE BY WHICH I MEAN INFLATABLE PENIS. It was …
-
BUT HER BUTT
Beyonce’s butt gives me so complicated and surreal feelings, including but not limited to: – I want to have it – I want to be friends with it – I want it to give me …
-
IN SUMMATION
About last night: I will just let this picture speak for itself. SPEAK, PICTURE, SPEAK.
-
SAFETY SASH
When having your bachelorette weekend, particularly in Vegas, definitely have Julien bring you a surprisingly tasteful bride sash. It sends a polite and subtle BACK OFF MAN, TAKEN, I DO NOT WISH TO BE DANCED …
-
JOYNVY
Tiny little baby brothers Dan and Tim are on a plane right now to Iceland! I myself was there three years ago nearly to the date, gallivanting around and eating tiny lobsters and standing beneath …
-
my go-to
One of my favorite things to do is to notice the self-destructive patterns in my own behavior and, you know, not do anything about them. My most recent epiphany: when I find something to worry …
-
SHOEPOCRISY
Me: eeee gonna order my clogs for the wedding! Morrison:…your what? Me:….my clogs? For the wedding? Morrison: You’re going to wear CLOGS?! Me: Yeah! Like nice strappy white clog things! Morrison: I just feel like …
-
Standards
When I was young, or forming, or, say, age 13-25, my Mom and I would have thrown down fights if my bra straps were even remotely showing. To my mom, if my bra is was …
-
HOT (GROSS)
LOOK AT MY BODY IT’S GOT CURVES AND NOT CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ALSO IT’S GOT MY INTESTINES INSIDE OF IT