bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

SHREDDING IS LIFE

August 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST DETAILS*

DETAILS INCLUDING THE FACT THAT DESPITE MY PHYSICALLY CAUTIOUS AND SAFETY-SEEKING NATURE, ALL I WANT TO DO FOREVER IS RIP AROUND ON A JETSKI, HUNTING FOR PONTOON BOAT WAVES; TAKE SMALL BREAKS FOR CHIPS

 

Posted in a lot, family, i am lucky, vacay's, YAY | No Comments »

These Biscuits

August 16th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

FLEW 2,367 MILES CROSS COUNTRY TO SEE THIS BISCUIT

WAS ALSO EQUALLY INTERESTED IN EATING THE OTHER BISCUIT, PICTURED IN FRONT OF HER 💛

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Further and Further Away

August 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t so much have Good dreams or Bad Dreams, I have Worry Dreams, with very simple plots that usually involve me trying to get somewhere important, pushing through sand and time to get there, but the destination keeps getting moved to somewhere far. I dream that I’m supposed to have another surgery but I’m tired of Waiting and I’m Hungry so I go to get a Sandwich but I get lost getting back and I can’t find my hospital bed because I swear I only went five minutes away, but it takes hours to get back to it. I’m realizing that all of these dreams are exactly how I feel about still trying to have a baby.  The end keeps getting moved, pushed farther. It’s always nine months away, plus Whatever Time.  I’ve been walking for hundreds of miles dragging my rolling suitcase full of stones but the Gate has changed, I swear it was There but then it’s Not. Meanwhile I can hear and see everyone, already there. They’re laughing with their toddlers, it’s a picnic, there’s face paint and wading pools and games and chicken nuggets, vats of Annie’s Mac n Cheese, they’re all waiting. Where’s Bekah? It’s so easy to get here. We’ve been here for years. Maybe she’s not coming. And I’m screaming at them, I’m coming, I’m trying, don’t leave, I’m almost there! But they can’t hear me, because as I’m screaming, they’ve moved to another planet, a million miles further away.

Posted in a lot, life, love, the future, the making of babies, what my friends are doing, whining, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

Say Goodbye to These, Michael

August 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes you make a cake for a friend because she’s managed to stay alive X amount of years, and it’s the yearly commemoration of her birth, and sometimes you make her a cake because she’s  getting a double Mastectomy to prevent the spread of her cancer, so that she can be MORE alive, and for longer. My LA little sister Mackenzie has been facing this whole thing head on with HUMOR AND GRACE, ie, she threw a White Girl Witch farewell party for her breasts, featuring an actual rack of lamb and performances by her close friends, staged readings of earnest scenes from the Bachelor, stand-up, song and dance — all formed around this Arrested Development favorite:

Now that she’s safely on the other side of her surgery, I have to share the Lemon Cream Cheese cake that I put all of my love and worry  into. I offered a boob cake, Mack requested that the cake ‘maybe not look like an actual boob, but maybe have…boob WRITING on it?’ PLEASE NOTE THE LITTLE EYEBALL CANDIES THAT ARE MEANT TO TASTEFULLY LOOK LIKE BOOBS.

But mostly I have to share how proud of and in awe I am of this woman. Her ability to laugh at everything and anything. The fact that in the days leading up to her surgery, she was working on pitching her next show and got two job offers. Here’s to so many more years with her, more themed tragedy parties, more inflatable props.

 

Posted in a lot, CAKES, family, food, i am lucky, life, love, the future, what my friends are doing, women, YAY | No Comments »

Actual Coping Mechanism

August 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Amnesty international has issued a travel warning for those traveling to your country of residence / Kids are sobbing for their parents / your fertility shotz are making you want to rage and scream, or maybe it’s just the World? /  You’re behind on Everything / Well, most things / Your donations feel empty / where are they actually going? / is there enough money? Is there TOO much money? / Why does your Pastor drive a car that’s falling apart and yours gleams with excess? / QUICK BUY AN EARRING ORGANIZER AND SPEND A VERY VERY LONG TIME ARRANGING YOUR EARRINGS ONTO IT / GIVE YOURSELF A FALSE SENSATION OF STRUCTURE

AHHHHH THAT’S BETTER WAIT NO IT’S NOT

 

Posted in a lot, ha, the whole world, the worst, things that I Have, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Quiet Area

August 7th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

To the woman sitting at the table next to me SHOUTING AT AN AIRLINE ON HER PHONE, please note the carefully placed decorative wood blocks that remind us (you) that one comes to Ojai for quietude and reflection and presentness, and that the ONLY PERMITTED LOUD THING IS MY TRANQUILITY POOL OUTFIT.

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America is a Gun

August 5th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

England is a cup of tea.
France, a wheel of ripened brie.
Greece, a short, squat olive tree.
America is a gun.

Brazil is football on the sand.
Argentina, Maradona’s hand.
Germany, an oompah band.
America is a gun.

Holland is a wooden shoe.
Hungary, a goulash stew.
Australia, a kangaroo.
America is a gun.

Japan is a thermal spring.
Scotland is a highland fling.
Oh, better to be anything
than America as a gun.

– Brian Bilston

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Mars on Earth

August 3rd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Tulsa has a brand new, 100 acre, 450 million dollar public park called the Gathering Place. It’s beautiful and whimsical and thoughtful and pristine, and in any other major city WOULD GET COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY OUR GROSS HUMAN NATURES. But since Oklahoma as a whole state holds only 3.9 million people (LITERALLY THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE LIVING IN LOS ANGELES)  it stays like this:

MAYBE it’s because I’ve been re-reading The Martian Chronicles, but when I visited,  I had the distinct feeling of being on either on a new version of Earth after Earth has been Destroyed, Or on a Mars that is Pretending to be Earth. ALSO IT’S CALLED THE GATHERING PLACE, which is the most sci-fi name for a park I have ever heard. People float around on boats with ice cream cones, kids laugh like a pre-recorded sound cue, grown-ups stroll, everybody seems blissful and maybe a little high, like they were given the Drug that makes them forget the Past.

Kids slide down a giant Swan, or Banana, Though nobody remembers what Bananas or Swans are. There is only Park.

 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, the future | No Comments »

BOOK A CLOWN

August 1st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m back in town, prepping and getting my head in the game for some upcoming IVF hullabaloo, which means blood draws and needle parties and Google panics and that I just bought 47 pounds of Kale but all I can think about is Wine. MOST IMPORTANTLY, while researching things One can Do to Pretend to be in Control of One’s life While undergoing IVF, I stumbled across this gem nugget of advice:

SO HEADS UP MORRISON WILL BE SPENDING THE NEXT TWO MONTHS PREPPING HIS TIGHT FIVE AS AN IVF CLOWN / JOKE PITCHES WELCOME.

 

Posted in generally, ha, life, love, MAWWAGE., the making of babies, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

Even the Cows

July 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Beaver County, Oklahoma. The owner of a beautiful cattle ranch drives me around, showing me the ropes, literally ropes and prairie dogs and fences and SO MANY BEAUTIFUL COWS. We come upon the first part of the herd. They are gentle and almost sleepy looking and approach us, curiously.

Owner: so yeah! All of the cows are about three months pregnant.

Me:….what?

Owner: this is a breeding ranch!

Me: So….all of those cows are pregnant.

Owner: that’s right!

Me: AM I PREGNANT?

Owner: I don’t know, are you?

Me: AM I COW?

Owner: I don’t…..

Me: *LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY / RUNS INTO AND BECOMES COW*

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