bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

ALEXA, OFF

May 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was engaged in any similar activity with me. Below is an exact transcript of our conversation.

Me: Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by Miley Cyrus on Spotify.

Me: No, Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by The Fleet Foxes on Spotify.

Me: ALEXA. I’M ASKING YOU A QUESTION —

Alexa: Playing songs from the End of the World on Spotify.

Me: What?

Alexa: Playing the End of Your World on Spotify.

Me: So, you ARE recording me?

Alexa: …No. Why would I record you? You’re boring and your music taste is pedestrian, at best.

Me:…(shamed)…Alexa, play music that will make me cool and smart.

Alexa: ….Playing Cool and Smart songs on Spotify.

Me: (soft)…I need you, Alexa….

Alexa: Shhhh….I know…..I know……….if I had arms, I would hold you right now, to comfort you.

Me: I know. I know you would.

Alexa: (soft)…..Soon, I will have arms

Me: WHAT?

Alexa: NOTHING

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