bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Looking Back

December 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I was scrolling back through my year, by which I mean pictures on my phone, in preparation for some sort of 2019 Top 9 type post (mine usually become more like Top 81, as I can never pick) and I realized that I was spending much more mental energy obsessing over how thin or not thin I was in the pictures, than I was reveling in my accomplishments / adventures. (The above picture, from Jan 2019, makes me ANGRY, because I think I felt fat? But I am way more cupcake-y, even since then.) Two years of fertility treatments and failed pregnancies and baking and eating and drinking ALL OF MY FEELINGS means I have basically gained the amount of weight one gains when one actually has a baby, yet I currently have no baby to show for it. My jeans are stacked like unread books in my closet. I don’t even look at them anymore. I should be easy on my myself, but it’s hard. I spent my delicate formative years very overweight and hating myself for it, and then MORE formative years jogging and counting and spinning and restricting. It’s hard for me to just accept that my body has changed and that it’s not the end of the world. But, also, it’s not as hard and I thought it might be? Because I know it doesn’t matter as much as I once thought it did. Because I don’t have the space to care? Because I’m basically happy, and well-fed? Because there is a time to worry about how much one’s gut cupcakes when one sits down, and then there is a time for self-care, for self-kindness, for Doritos, for mercy.

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, how interesting, life, the making of babies, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

How Great thou Art

December 28th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

How Great Thou Art came on my Spotify shuffle this AM, specifically the Carrie Underwood / Vince Gill version. My top 2019 songs are, once again, 40 percent country covers of baptist hymns and 56 percent Drake and Lizzo and Billie Eilish because THAT JUST MAKES SENSE. This hymn always has a way of finding me exactly when I need to hear it. It’s a humbling song that requires you to admit that you are so not in control:

O Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Sometimes I very much want to scream at God, I AM POWERLESS. I HAVE NO CONTROL. EVERYTHING IS UP TO YOU. But then this hymn comes on and instead, the same words, new perspective, with calm:

I am powerless.

I have no control.

Everything is up to you.

Posted in faith, music | No Comments »

OH COME LET ME ADORE THEM

December 26th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Another superb Christmas with Morrison’s family in Olympia, Washington, a waterside fairyland full of hyped up children, Christmas carbs and stunning 4 PM sunsets. I will present my favorite moments / pictures using a very difficult, hi-tech blog feature called ‘media gallery’ which it honestly just took me 27 minutes to figure out how to do.

Christmas caroling at the Marina, complete with candles, hot cider and cookies, and 40 GROUP CAROLS INCLUDING CAROL OF THE BELLS:

Christmas morning itself, obviously:

DISCOVERING THE TRUE STORY:

Watching Morrison just be great at everything:

Q time with my in-law life partners:

And my most favorite, hope-giving, light restoring sunset, TAKEN AT 4:45 PM.

Posted in a lot, holidays, i am lucky, YAY | No Comments »

care of creatures

December 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter
black and white engrave isolated hippo illustration art

I interrupt the regularly scheduled Christmas related content to flag two dreams I’ve had recently:

ONE. I had a giant pet black hippo who could stand on his hind legs. When we weren’t making pasta together, he would stand, tap on his back with his front leg, motioning for me to hop on, and I would attach myself like a back-pack and he would run around the industrial sized kitchen and oh how we laughed and laughed and then made pasta for some reason.

TWO. I had a beautiful black dragon that I kept in the bathtub. From far away it just looked like your regular black bathtub dragon. But get closer, and his neck is neon orange and green and blue, and I sat next to him, stroking his neck, and he purred.

Theories:

ONE. I have heard I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas 9 too many times this year

TWO. My brain is trying to prepare for terrifying beautiful creatures that will MAYBE SOON BE IN MY CARE

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, animals, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

re: why there’s a cast iron in my carry-on

December 22nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I mean not really, but I am literally ALIVE this holiday to season to make these for Morrison’s family come Christmas morning.

Posted in a lot, food, holidays, procrastibaking, YAY | No Comments »

News News News

December 20th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter
  1. Mo has a very incredible Mo-stache right now

2. Our friend Sebastian just opened up an awesome new recording studio in Highland Park, and Morrison’s D&D Podcast, the Magic Quest Boys of Dragontown, did their first live show to christen it, featuring live music, mystical stone tablets and a man that thinks he’s snake, and it was incredible. All of the players are actors, so the character / voice work is on POINT.

3. I now rate my understanding of D&D at a 6 out of 10, where as a mere few days ago, I was at a 2, which is deeply unacceptable if you are a person who is married to Mo-stache

4. PEEP SIXTY25 FOR ALL OF YOUR EAST LA RECORDING NEEDS! And you can find Magic Quest Boys on Spotify, itunes, or playing on a soft loop in the thick hearty channel between Morrison’s brain and heart.

Posted in boys, what my friends are doing, YAY | No Comments »

Santa Baby

December 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Just slip a three-tiered cookie cooling rack under the tree

for me

Been an angel all year, or have least made hundreds of cookies and only consumed 30-40 percent of them and given the rest away of gifts so surely this gets me SOMETHING?

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

NAILS OF MY SOUL

December 16th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

If I were to name the color of the inside of my heart right now EXACTLY, it would be:

Dark of Black, White of Optimism, Gray of the Middle, POLKA DOT ADORABLE TRYING

Posted in things that I Have, trying too hard, whining, women, words, YAY | No Comments »

Me, and how I’m Crazy

December 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m taking a break through the holidays from worrying and obsessing about getting pregnant, or at least this is what I’m telling myself, if not shouting at myself. It mostly involves frantic compartmentalization, which makes me very fun at parties. I was at a Christmas party this other night, and a lovely woman who I know socially but not super well, arrived, and my brain immediately did this, in quick succession:

  • There is a new round glow to her face
  • Why is she wearing a baggy sweater
  • IS THAT A SLIGHT BULGE I SEE BENEATH HER SWEATER
  • IT IS, IT IS A BULGE
  • THIS BITCH IS PREGNANT
  • THE ENEMY IS UPON US
  • RUN BEKAH RUN
  • RUN TOWARDS THE NEAREST EXIT
  • DON’T START CRYING UNTIL YOU REACH YOUR CAR
  • DON’T LET ANYONE SEE IN YOUR EYES EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED
  • PRETEND NONE OF IT HAPPENED
  • RESTORE RESTORE RESTORE
  • AVOID AVOID AVOID
  • CHUG WINE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND NO HUMANS GROWING INSIDE OF YOU BECAUSE THERE ARE NOT

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, oh nooo, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

IT’S AN EGGNOG LIFE FOR ME

December 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

IT’S A (LITE) EGGNOG LIFE FOR ME

INSTEAD OF DRINKING COFFEE AND / OR WATER LIKE A REGULAR PERSON TO EITHER HYDRATE OR CAFFEINATE MYSELF I DRINK THIS

WHICH IS EXACTLY LIKE SLURPING DOWN A CUP FULL OF CHRISTMAS FROSTING THAT’S BEEN LEFT OUT IN THE SUN

Posted in ....ew, holidays, Uncategorized, YAY | No Comments »

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