bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

HOW TO MAKE ME SOB

August 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m still sorting out why — and surely it has something to do with vulnerability — but NOTHING MAKES ME SADDER / SQUISHIER THAN A SAD OLD MAN. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING. If he’s sad in a way he will never be able to fully articulate — EVEN SADDER. So me on an airplane watching 89 Year Old Clint Eastwood in what his maybe his last big movie (maybe), The Mule, watching him grow flowers and Not Connect but then Connect with his estranged family — I AM PUDDLE ON THE GROUND OF PLANE, SEEPING SLOWLY BACK TOWARDS THE BATHROOMS.

Posted in boys, famous people stuff, le film, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Find it, and Look at it

August 28th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

What is the word for when a writer remembers a quote from something written and it inspires them, but the quote is from something that they themselves wrote? OH RIGHT, NARCISSISM. I keep thinking about these lines from my play The Oregon Trail, in which a young girl is VERY BEGRUDGINGLY traveling cross-country with her sister and Dad.

MARY ANNE: C’mon Jane. Look at the bright side.

JANE: I’m tryin ta. But I just don’t see it.

CLANCY: Find it and look at it.

I keep shouting this at myself in my head. Whenever I feel myself start to drop into anything like self-pity, which sometimes feels like a hot tub full of gummy bears, a warm place I’d like to be. Look at the bright side. Keep turning the thing around or wandering around it until you find it. FIND IT, AND LOOK AT IT.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, faith, generally, hmmmmm, the making of babies, trying too hard, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Lunch as Person

August 26th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m sharing a house in beautiful Rhinebeck, New York for the week with my A.D. 16 (teenage Mary Magdalene and Jesus musical) collaborators, director Stephen and composer / lyricist Cinco. We’ve got a week to talk about our project and TRY NOT TO GET LYME DISEASE. These theater development things are always part drama play, PART CHECKING EACH OTHER FOR TICKS, and part social experiment in which completely grown adults are forced to see each other in their Pajamas, observe each other’s odd at home habits and food ticks (AHHH TICKS). As we develop our project, we learn about each other as humans. I would like to here highlight our lunches, so that you might understand us more, as people.

. Cinco’s seven year old boy lunch (note: he is the oldest of all of us, by some years):

My fat kid body issues sausage kale egg scramble:

STEPHEN’S BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED AND PLATED SPREAD OF SOFT AND HARD CHEESES, SOPRASATA, DRIED OLIVES AND SUMMER TOMATO SALAD:

I FEEL LIKE YOU GET US NOW.

Posted in food, ha, the writing of drama plays, theater, Uncategorized, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

Excavation

August 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes when I’m buckled into the belly of a metal beast shaking violently at thirty six thousand feet above Kansas, I like to dig through my computer and find old things I wrote and try and remember when and why I wrote them. I’m guessing the below Gem is circa 2005 and because I saw a boy with a rat tail getting out of Van and because I had recently moved to NYC to study playwriting and was lonely and longing to Be Seen AND WAS THEREFORE DUTY BOUND TO BECOME A DARK AND BROODING PERSON. ENJOY!

Posted in a lot, ha, poems, Uncategorized | No Comments »

THIS CAT, THO

August 22nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

You’re not a Cat person, you say. You’re not an Animal Person even, you say. BUT THEN I ASK YOU: ARE YOU IN FACT A PERSON AT ALL? AND I ALSO ASK YOU: HAVE YOU NEVER HAD YOUR SOUL EXAMINED BY A CREATURE WHO HEARD YOUR WORRY AND SAD FROM ACROSS THE HOUSE AND EMERGED SOFTLY AS IF UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU, YOUR HEART CALLED TO HIM AND HE LITERALLY PUTS HIS HANDPAWS ON YOU AS IF TO SAY, I AM HERE, AND NO I DO NOT CONTROL THE UNIVERSE BUT JUST KNOW THESE SIMPLE FACTS: I EXIST, AND YOU ARE FINE?

CLEARLY YOU HAVE NOT

Posted in animals, i am lucky, Uncategorized, whining, words, working | No Comments »

Bitch-slapped by Hope

August 20th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Why be a writer at all, or even have a blog at all, if I don’t keep trying to find a new way to articulate the same thing over and over, just keep finding and finding new ways to Say it? I have a new way to describe how I feel re: procreation attempts that keeps pinging around my brain, and so I’ll leave it here. I feel like I’m a Shutterstock image of a woman turning her face to the Sun, she’s grateful, she’s positive and she’s teeming with her own dreams, she’s very simply happy to be alive, maybe she’s pretending she’s a bug on a rock, maybe she’s reminding herself that she’s small, but either way, her eyes are closed and she’s just happy there, and the Sun moves just so that it warms her face like a cookie and just as her lips move into a calm and trusting smile A GIANT’S HAND MADE OF HER OWN CALCIFIED HOPE AND ALSO WHAT FEELS LIKE STEEL COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND BITCH SLAPS HER ACROSS THE FACE, and she’s stunned, but then sinks to the grass in search of her teeth, and finds them scattered in five miles each direction.

SO JUST PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT PLAY, BITCH SLAPPED BY HOPE, BROADWAY 2023, STARRING SARAH JESSICA PARKER AS ME AND AN ACTUAL 20 FT TALL TRANSFORMER AS MY HOPE.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, the future, the making of babies, whining | No Comments »

SHREDDING IS LIFE

August 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST DETAILS*

DETAILS INCLUDING THE FACT THAT DESPITE MY PHYSICALLY CAUTIOUS AND SAFETY-SEEKING NATURE, ALL I WANT TO DO FOREVER IS RIP AROUND ON A JETSKI, HUNTING FOR PONTOON BOAT WAVES; TAKE SMALL BREAKS FOR CHIPS

 

Posted in a lot, family, i am lucky, vacay's, YAY | No Comments »

These Biscuits

August 16th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

FLEW 2,367 MILES CROSS COUNTRY TO SEE THIS BISCUIT

WAS ALSO EQUALLY INTERESTED IN EATING THE OTHER BISCUIT, PICTURED IN FRONT OF HER 💛

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Further and Further Away

August 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t so much have Good dreams or Bad Dreams, I have Worry Dreams, with very simple plots that usually involve me trying to get somewhere important, pushing through sand and time to get there, but the destination keeps getting moved to somewhere far. I dream that I’m supposed to have another surgery but I’m tired of Waiting and I’m Hungry so I go to get a Sandwich but I get lost getting back and I can’t find my hospital bed because I swear I only went five minutes away, but it takes hours to get back to it. I’m realizing that all of these dreams are exactly how I feel about still trying to have a baby.  The end keeps getting moved, pushed farther. It’s always nine months away, plus Whatever Time.  I’ve been walking for hundreds of miles dragging my rolling suitcase full of stones but the Gate has changed, I swear it was There but then it’s Not. Meanwhile I can hear and see everyone, already there. They’re laughing with their toddlers, it’s a picnic, there’s face paint and wading pools and games and chicken nuggets, vats of Annie’s Mac n Cheese, they’re all waiting. Where’s Bekah? It’s so easy to get here. We’ve been here for years. Maybe she’s not coming. And I’m screaming at them, I’m coming, I’m trying, don’t leave, I’m almost there! But they can’t hear me, because as I’m screaming, they’ve moved to another planet, a million miles further away.

Posted in a lot, life, love, the future, the making of babies, what my friends are doing, whining, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

Say Goodbye to These, Michael

August 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes you make a cake for a friend because she’s managed to stay alive X amount of years, and it’s the yearly commemoration of her birth, and sometimes you make her a cake because she’s  getting a double Mastectomy to prevent the spread of her cancer, so that she can be MORE alive, and for longer. My LA little sister Mackenzie has been facing this whole thing head on with HUMOR AND GRACE, ie, she threw a White Girl Witch farewell party for her breasts, featuring an actual rack of lamb and performances by her close friends, staged readings of earnest scenes from the Bachelor, stand-up, song and dance — all formed around this Arrested Development favorite:

Now that she’s safely on the other side of her surgery, I have to share the Lemon Cream Cheese cake that I put all of my love and worry  into. I offered a boob cake, Mack requested that the cake ‘maybe not look like an actual boob, but maybe have…boob WRITING on it?’ PLEASE NOTE THE LITTLE EYEBALL CANDIES THAT ARE MEANT TO TASTEFULLY LOOK LIKE BOOBS.

But mostly I have to share how proud of and in awe I am of this woman. Her ability to laugh at everything and anything. The fact that in the days leading up to her surgery, she was working on pitching her next show and got two job offers. Here’s to so many more years with her, more themed tragedy parties, more inflatable props.

 

Posted in a lot, CAKES, family, food, i am lucky, life, love, the future, what my friends are doing, women, YAY | No Comments »

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