bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

A Gemini Prepares

July 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I am PITCHING A TV SHOW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, driving around town telling various smart and important people about my images and characters and thoughts,  in the hopes of someday getting a show that is Mine on air,  which I means I am full of two very real, very opposing feelings:

Joy at the opportunity and delirious delight in my own ideas, slightly high from the secret pocket feeling that I’m doing the thing I was put on this earth to Do

AND ALSO:

COMPLETE EXISTENTIAL TERROR AND DREAD, TINGED WITH FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND ALSO GUT-EMPTYING FEAR THAT IT’S ALL BEEN A LIE, THAT I AM IN FACT A LIE, THAT THE ONLY TRUE THING IS GRAVITY

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

GIVE ME MOVIES WITH MUSIC

July 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

OR I GUESS GIVE ME OTHER MOVIES BUT I WON’T LIKE THEM NEARLY AS MUCH

Call me basic but I love any movie, literally any movie, that uses songs as set pieces. Just give me two people singing to each other, falling in love.

 

Posted in a lot, le film, music, YAY | No Comments »

Suffering Noisily

July 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I had another surgery that’s hopefully getting us one step closer to having a tiny person running around our house demanding to know where Poop comes from. It was the longest I’d ever been under anesthesia, and surely the gnarliest procedure I’ve had, and there was pain, AND I NEEDED EVERYONE AROUND ME TO KNOW IT. I’m not a person who suffers pain silently.  If I’m in pain, I feel like, what’s the point of the my pain if everyone within a 5 mile radius or at the very least my 2,000 instagram followers doesn’t know that it’s happening? It’s definitely weakness of character, or what Morrison calls ‘fortitude,’ ie, if my life were a game of Dungeons and Dragons I would be dead from a skinned knee before my adventure boat even left the castle (?). It’s also a little bit of narcissism, but like, a regular human amount. But maybe also it’s wanting to Share. Whenever I’m feeling anything intense, I don’t go In, I go Out. I don’t want just sympathy, I want Connection. All of this to say, when I reach the end of this road paved with white hospital bracelets, and a baby is exiting my body, please know that I will be Sharing my pain with anyone who can hear me. THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL KNOW.

Posted in babies, the future, the making of babies, what I'm wearing, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

What I need to Hear

July 8th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a Sunday morning:

  • I wake up, feeling a need to go to church and be quiet and reflective and pray
  • I Go to church
  • Okay, yes, I get there a few minutes late, but I take my program humbly, receptively, sneak in through the back door
  • I WALK RIGHT IN MID-DEDICATION OF BABIES
  • (For the non-church going readers: this is when new parents bring their babies on stage and dedicate themselves, as parents, to raising their Baby in the church, and the pastor blesses the baby, and the baby pretends to answers questions and all of the childless mothers of Gilead in the sanctuary turn to brownie batter and melt out of their seats and die)
  • I consider TURNING THE OTHER WAY AND RUNNING OUT OF THE CHURCH, and being quite noisy about it on purpose, maybe slamming through some doors, so that everyone knows my pain, and then sits there, putting two and two together
  • I decide, instead, to quietly, respectfully take a seat towards the back and cry quietly, respectfully while the babies are dedicated
  • I Listen to the Pastor as he tells the congregation that this couple in particular prayed and prayed for their daughter Rose; that she was a gift, not an assumption
  • I realize how badly I needed to hear this
  • I sit there, quietly, hearing everything else I needed to hear

Posted in a lot, faith, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the making of babies, the whole world, the worst, whining, women | No Comments »

FOME

July 6th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Fear Of Missing Earthquake

Because if the earth quakes beneath your home and you’re conveniently out of town and not there to feel it WON’T IT QUAKE EVEN MORE WHEN YOU RETURN SO THAT YOU DON’T FEEL LEFT OUT OF A TERRIFYING LIFE EXPERIENCE THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO UNITE YOU WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS / IS THIS NOT HOW SCIENCE WORKS?

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

HAPPY 4TH FROM OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON

July 4th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

LAND OF TRUTH; OPTIMISM; BATHROOM WALL SCRAWLS LIKE ‘ABORT THE PATRIARCHY;’ RECYCLED PAPER COMMUNITY JOURNALS BEARING MESSAGES OF HOPE

ALSO VEGAN SAUSAGE; TREES. No but really it’s hard to feel fully patriotic these days but I feel grateful for my freedom (TO EAT MEAT MADE OUT OF PLANTS, SHOULD I WANT THAT.)

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

COMEDY, EVERYWHERE

July 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nothing is without humor. Nothing ever. You can always find it. People say the wrong things at funerals, joke about their cancer. Infertility can be, and should, hilarious. While you wait for your doctor, look close. Keep looking past the Sad, the Not. THERE ARE TINY SPERM STICKERS ON THE WINDOW.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

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