bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

EXCLUSIVE PICS

September 19th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

FINALLY: THE EXCLUSIVE EMMYS PICTURES YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR:

1/543 of my attempt to get a nice picture of Morrison and I on the red carpet, for some reason featuring someone else’s phone:

My balanced, post-Emmys dinner, featuring a fresh cut on my hand from when I face planted while jogging the morning of the Emmys, while thinking about everything I had to do before getting ready for the Emmy’s, and all of life after it, and is there an apostrophe in Emmys or not FACEPLANT:

And my hair in a dark kitchen, eleven hours later:

PLZ FEEL FREE TO SELL TO TMZ BUT IF YOU DO, PLZ GIVE AT LEAST 60% OF PROFIT TO NC FLOOD VICTIMS, THNKS

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, i am lucky, I write for television?, life, YAY | No Comments »

Claydate

September 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The members of my vintage YA book club and I are very much adult people, but we were once children who hid in our rooms from the sun, allergic to back sweat and socializing, instead crafting and reading books, so naturally, for yesterday’s meeting, I got us a bunch of children’s modeling clay, and naturally, this happened:

Island of the Blue Dolphins, revisited: meh. MODELING CLAY FOR GROWN-UPS: ALWAYS.

Posted in a lot, awesome, how interesting, i am a grown up, YAY | No Comments »

CRINKLE PARTY OF ONE

September 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

DEAR THEATER PATRON WHO CAME TO MY PLAY LAT NIGHT TO LITERALLY JUST SIT THERE CRINKLING A PLASTIC BAG DURING THE QUIETEST MOMENTS:

THERE ARE MAYBE OTHER PLACES TO CRINKLE YOUR BAG. SUGGESTIONS:

  • A SOUNDPROOF ROOM
  • YOUR OWN HOUSE
  • THE MOON
  • NOT AT MY PLAY

Posted in the writing of drama plays, whining | No Comments »

SCENE FROM BEGUILING HOLLYWOOD LIFE

September 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, this morning,  frantically shouting at my agent’s assistant through my phonecar: HEY, SORRY, WHERE IS THIS MEETING?

Agent’s Assistant:…Joan’s on Third.

Me: YES I KNOW, BUT WHERE IS IT

Agent’s Assistant: on Third.

Me: BUT WHAT STREET?

Agent’s Assistant:…..On third.

Me: WHAT?

Agent’s Assistant: …Third Street.

(Beat.)

Me: OH RIGHT SORRY. I’VE HIT JUST A LITTLE BIT OF TRAFFIC JUST PLEASE JUST GIVE THEM A HEADS UP THAT I’LL BE SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS LATE. PLEASE APOLOGIZE FOR ME, AND HAVE THEM ORDER ME A DECAF ALMOND MILK LATTE, AND A SMALL CABIN TUCKED IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORTH CAROLINA, PERHAPS BY A STREAM, WHERE I CAN LIVE OUT MY DAYS AND NEVER HAVE TO GET IN A CAR OR SPEAK ON A PHONECAR EVER, EVER AGAIN.

Agent’s Assistant: Will do?

Me: WAIT, WHICH THIRD

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, I write for television?, LA angst, whining, YAY | No Comments »

ALL OF IT

September 11th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, in the Salad of my head: At the first preview of The Cake last night, the older couple in front of me’s assisted listening devices weren’t working, and so they couldn’t hear 80% of the play and I was so frustrated for them. Also I finally, after a month of pain and dizziness and fog, have my brain back and my wits about me. And so given what happened 17 years ago today — I will spend this entire day, and hopefully all of the rest of them, remembering that it’s all a gift. Nothing is guaranteed. Hearing is a miracle. Health is good fortune. LIFE IS A BONUS. IT’S ALL GIFTS, ALL OF IT.

Posted in a lot, generally, i am lucky, i have peace | No Comments »

on trend; fleek (?)

September 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

With the popularity of and resurgence of Queer Eye, everybody’s all about the French tuck all of the sudden, by which they of course mean, HOW I ALWAYS WEAR MY SHIRTS,

BY WHICH I MEAN, I AM, AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, A VERY VERY WELL DRESSED MAN / HOPE TO SOON GET BACK ON MY FEET EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY / FIND A WIFE.

 

Posted in a lot, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

things to do during an MRI

September 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Plan Thanksgiving
  • Take deep, restorative breaths
  • No, really, plan every moment and every interaction and every bite of food of Thanksgiving
  • MORE DEEP RESTORATIVE BREATHS
  • NO BUT REALLY WTF IS THAT SOUND
  • MAYBE I’LL PUT SAUSAGE AND TOASTED PECANS IN THE STUFFING THAT WOULD BE NICE, PEOPLE WILL LIKE THAT CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK
  • NO REALLY, I’M REALLY ASKING, WHAT IS ACTUALLY MAKING THAT NOISE
  • WHY AM I WEARING A HOCKEY MASK

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

a Careful Pony

September 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison told me I look like a ‘careful Pony’ when I run and now THIS IS ALL I SEE WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR

NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY I SEE MYSELF STUFFED

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

how to wear your Cat as a Necklace

September 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

i.e., NOT Labor Day

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., where i want to live, YAY | No Comments »

why to answer the phone

September 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me:….Hello?

Very Very Nice Telemarketer Guy: HELLO! This is MARK! Calling from the Geffen THEATER! The Geffen Theater would like to thank you for being a subscriber in the past, and would like to invite you to subscribe to our upcoming SEASON! In fact, our first show starts previews September TENTH! Do you know anything about the show?

Me:….Yes! I wrote it!

(A long pause in which Mark either cries or stabs a pen into his leg.)

Mark: ….I thought your name sounded familiar! I’m so sorry!

Me: No worries, Mark! I’ll be there.

Mark: Hahahahahahahaha I would hope so hahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Mark?

Mark: Hmm?

Me: Be nice to yourself today.

Mark: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Do I need to come hug you?

Mark: NO IT’S OKAY SEE YOU AT THE THEATER

Posted in a lot, ha, horn tooting, how interesting, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

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