bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Bee Well

August 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on the inner workings of my desperate attempts to Get my Brain and Health back:

JUST GONNA START CASUALLY EATING BEE POLLEN. YEP JUST GONNA POP THAT BEE SALIVA AND THE STUFF THAT FORMS ON BEES, SO I GUESS BEE SKIN, JUST GONNA PUT IT RIGHT IN MY MOUTH AND HOPE THAT IT GOES TO MY STOMACH, TURNS INTO ACTUAL BEES, AND THAT THOSE BEES FORM AN ARMY THAT SWARM AND TRAVEL UP MY THROAT AND FIGHT THE HOT ANGRY BEES IN MY HEAD TO THE DEATH. THIS IS HOW BEE POLLEN WORKS RIGHT? RIGHT? IF YOU NEED ME I’LL BE IN THE CORNER, SWALLOWING KNIVES

 

Posted in a lot, whining | No Comments »

Natural Remedies

August 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am 2.5 weeks into whatever this migraine / sinus / allergy brain fog situation is, which feels like approximately one day short of forever. Having snorted all of the Sudafed and prescription nasal decongestants in East Los Angeles, I am desperately turning to Natural Remedies, such as:

  • sticking my face over bowls of hot water
  • Eucalyptus and Oregano oil
  • standing alone in the kitchen at work eating whole cookies but in sections, walking away, walking back, eating more sections of cookies
  • going to acupuncture, finding it a bit calming if not forever-taking for 45 minutes, REALIZING I LOST MY WALLET AND THEN PANICKING ABOUT HOW TO PAY THE ACUPUNCTURIST
  • SHOUTING AT ALEXA TO PLAY ENYA THE MOMENT I GET HOME

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, whining, worrying | No Comments »

GLAMOUR; LUXURY

August 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To any of those who, for whatever reason, are under the false impression that my life is in any way elegant or charming, HERE IS THE ROACH THAT JUST DIED ON MY SHOE.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am scared, Uncategorized | No Comments »

how to use a neti pot

August 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

For the last few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some vertigo and lightheadedness (are those the same thing?) that are potentially being caused by sinus stuff, which has lead me to straight to my LIFELONG SWORN ENEMY, THE NETI POT. I know that there are far more dangerous and interesting adversaries, but for whatever reason, I have always told myself I would NEVER take a tiny whimsical teapot full of salt water and dump and it through my nose. AND YET, HERE WE ARE. And so for those of you who have experienced similar trepidation, here’s a quick how to:

  1. Take Neti Pot out of box, stare at it for a few minutes, try and focus on its adorable qualities
  2. Read all of the instructions about ten times, focus on the parts that are like ‘if you put the wrong kind of water in in you will permanently burn and scar your nasal cavity’
  3. Spend an hour boiling and cooling water so as to not burn or scar or poison or ruin your nasal cavity
  4. Fill adorable pot with water, saline packet
  5. Stare at it for another ten minutes, brace yourself for what you’re about to do
  6. Lean over a sink, tilt your head to the left, stick the thing in your other nostril, pour until ‘a gentle stream starts to come out of the other side’ but really
  7. FEEL LIKE YOU’RE DROWNING REALLY IT ALL FEELS LIKE YOU’RE DROWNING AND NOW THE STREAM IS COMING BUT IT’S MORE LIKE A TORTURE DRIP AND OH GOD NOW IT’S COMING OUT OF YOUR EYES, WHAT IS THAT, ARE THOSE TEARS? ARE YOU CRYING SNOT? OH GOD
  8. THROW NETI POT ACROSS ROOM
  9. WAIT 45 MINUTES
  10. REPEAT ON OTHER SIDE

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

these faces, forever

August 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I could look at these fine faces and watch them act my words for forever, and with the Geffen remount, I KINDA GET TO. GET YOUR TICKETS NOWWWWWWW (as opposed to Then.)

Posted in i am lucky, I'M SO EXCITED, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

WHO’S THAT LADY

August 20th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

STARE INTO THE CAMERA LIKE YOU’VE GOT THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS BUT YOU’RE JUST GOING TO CASUALLY KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF

NOW GET YOUR HAIR OUTTA YOUR FACE, LADY, USE THAT BAR LIKE IT’S A METAPHOR FOR THE THING THAT DIVIDES PEOPLE THAT YOU WANT TO BREAK DOWN

BUT WAIT REMEMBER YOU’RE WEARING FULL BODY NORDSTROM RACK, COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH

(New grown up lady writer press pictures by Alison Yates!) Stay tuned for 900 of me sitting on the ground, chin in hand like someone gave a really important job and a wig to a baby.

 

Posted in a lot, narcissism, the writing of drama plays, women, YAY | No Comments »

that tiny, delicate life

August 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • purchases tiny, delicate necklace¬† for every day wear, in hopes of being a tiny, delicate person that just floats around like a whisper, dotted with diamonds the size of molecules
  • manages to wear it for about four months
  • in a moment of complete non-delicacy, HULKS OUT AND YANKS ON NECKLACE LIKE IT’S MADE OF CHAINS USED TO CAPTURE WHALES; SNAPS NECKLACE IN HALF
  • searches for another, CYCLE CONTINUES

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, women | No Comments »

MIGHT I BE THE FIRST TO SAY….

August 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

R-E-S-T-I-N PEACE

(Thank you for everything.)

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, music | No Comments »

good man’s prayer

August 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The visiting Pastor at the Church I’ve been hitting up on and off (and other action words you should never use for Church) told a really great Pastor joke on Sunday that I must share here, if only to make #pastorhumor a thing.

‘A man prayed to God:¬†Lord, I’ve been a good man today. I haven’t stolen, cheated, or lied, I haven’t envied, lost my temper even once, I haven’t judged or scorned. But Lord: I’m about to get outta bed in a few minutes, here, and Lord — after that, I’m really gonna need your help.’¬†

 

Posted in a lot, awesome, faith, words | No Comments »

girl, inside

August 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

When I remember to get my hair cut, I always leave the place feeling like an elegant, effortless Body Wash Commercial, stepping out of a white limo on a Loop,

But then I quickly remember the girl inside, who recedes into her chins, pouting at the family wedding because everyone ate all of the mini quiches before she could have one.

I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER THAT THIS IS WHY I WAS POUTING.

Posted in family, food, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, Uncategorized | No Comments »

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