bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

the Big Questions

April 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

God bless Julien for keeping every note we wrote to each other in high school, even though some of them reflect a rift between us that neither of us can fully recall or explain. Mostly it seems that I rambled to her about my low self-esteem, how embarrassing it was to try and pass the push up test in gym, then asked her important life questions, just as I strive to do in my adult life.

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

What kind of jeans does mustard wear?

What kind of cat goes best with pasta?

Do pickles go to the bathroom?

Whatever.

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Posted in awesome, ha, i am a grown up, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

good with kids

April 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison is very, very, VERY good with kids, mostly because he takes them seriously and speaks to them like they’re adults, while at the same time, playing into their imaginations. With me,  it’s mostly awkward. (Me: HOW’S YOUR WEEKEND GOING? GET INTO ANY TROUBLE? DO YOU LIKE WINE? AM I TALKING LOUD?)  Yesterday, the school where Morrison TA’s had its (CHARMING; INCREDIBLE) spring carnival, and so naturally, we  played laser tag in a gym with a bunch of kids. At one point, I looked over and saw Morrison doing a slow motion death-roll on the ground while two little girls in pigtails stood over him, casually shooting him point blank. That fact on its own is NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS STORY.

Waiting in line to enter, we decided to form an alliance with four other kids. The plan was to hole up behind the big pile of Mats in the Northwest corner of the room. We got our guns, the room went dark, and we ran to our station. But as I lept behind mats next to Morrison, one kid looks at me skeptically.

Kid: Who’s that?

Morrison: It’s okay. She’s safe.

Me (to kid): I’m your wife!

The kid just looks at me.

Kid: Wait, what?

Me: Oh, wait, no, I meant —

Morrison: She’s MY wife.

Me: I’m HIS wife! Hahahaha! You don’t have a wife! That’d be weird. I promise I’m not your wife. Hahahahaha! I’m an adult!

Kid:…..okay……?

The kid returned to the game, only to turn on me ten minutes later, like this:

Kid: (innocently) How many lives do you have left?

Me: I’m not sure, how can I tell?

Kid: (brightly): Lemmee see your gun!

I hold it out to him, and he SHOOTS ME POINT BLANK.

Me: What the hell?!

Kid: (shrugging) ….friendly fire.

Me: HEY. THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR WIFE.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, kids, silly, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

what’s the skinny

April 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hold up. I know I’m almost 36, which is old, but also young, so AT WHAT POINT DID MY SKIN GO FROM THE SOFT PEDAL OF A SACRED PEONY, TO THAT OF A FOSSILIZED PREHISTORIC CREATURE JUST BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE?

LIKE, THIS IS ME AFTER A SHOWER

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Posted in ....ew, whining | No Comments »

this young fellow

April 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday someone decided to post their old headshot and then natch, everyone started do it, and though Morrison does NOT like to engage in Things that Everyone are Doing on the Internet, he decided to make an exception, because THIS:

Look at this sharp and pensive soul! BACK OFF, WOMEN OF 2009. BACK TO YOUR JEAN SHORTS OVER TIGHTS. HE’S MINE. HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW IT YET.

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Posted in i am lucky, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

TULUM!

April 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Elizabeth and I usually head to Palm Springs for our birthdays, for a weekend of sun and chips and giggling at each other, but this year, slightly on a whim, we’ve decided to go to Tulum, so that I might be on vacation literally until the moment that I go back to work (read: the very next morning.) DID WE GET SO EXCITED THAT WE BOOKED THE HOTEL SUPER QUICKLY BEFORE READING ALL OF THE REVIEWS, ONLY TO COME TO FIND THAT A GOOD 50% OF PEOPLE WHO STAY IN THE ‘RUSTIC CHIC’ ESTABLISHMENT HATE IT WITH A FIRE RESERVED ONLY FOR ONE STAR TRIP ADVISOR REVIEWS?

You KNOW it.

MIGHT OUR ‘PRIVATE PLUNGE POOL’ BE FULL OF SEAWEED AND BUGS? PERHAPS MAYBE. IF SUCH IS THE CASE, WILL I SPEND THE WEEKEND STILL COUNTING MY BLESSINGS THAT I GET TO GO AT ALL, AND BE WITH MY FRIEND, AND STARING AT THIS PICTURE OF WHAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE?

You know THAT, also.

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Posted in i am lucky, silly, vacay's, what my friends are doing, YAY | No Comments »

one woman’s leftover easter Honey Ham

April 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

….is another woman (read: self)’s ALSO LEFTOVER HONEY HAM, and subsequently, SOUPZ.

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Posted in a lot, food, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

Andrea G.

April 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I may have mentioned here before, I tend to read most of my reviews because a.) GOSH, I LOVE PAIN  and b.) I truly feel like I can learn from them,  if I read them with one eye open  (keeping the other eye that scans every moment and room I’m in for reasons to doubt myself carefully closed.) I happened upon this review of the Chicago production of the Cake the other day, and for reasons I decided NOT to unpack in a middle of the night email to the critic, it upset me deeply. I let it go for a few days, then yesterday, decided to revisit it, because again, I LOVE PAIN and also because with the initial sting having settled, I wanted to see what I could learn, as I’m still tweaking the play. And lo and behold, an angel woman named Andrea G. had left this beautifully articulated comment on the review  (my favorite parts in bold):

You are missing the point. Hear me out. There it was- my life on the stage. That NEVER happens. The real side of being a gay woman. Finally something REAL. You still have to love your family. You still have to reach across the table. Because we still need to live in our current lives. Della is lovable because most of the time your family member is lovable. I have a ton of Dellas in my live. And I wish I could be braver like Jen and work through them all. But you choose those like Della who really love you and you work it through. So you both grow. And it HURTS. Are you not gay? Or are you not a woman? Because that is the way women deal with things. Slowly and painfully. I’ll give this, then you give that, slowly. If you are really really lucky it ends well. I am still bruised as I am sure every lesbian who left the theater. You say it is intellectually and emotionally unnutritious. That is INSANE. This is family not the government or your job. You have to give people time to change, reevaluate and change some more. Dissuading others from seeing it because it doesn’t fit into the cookie cutter liberal “should,” is keeping people from actually seeing their lives in art. Not a fantasy of how life should be, but how it is. Because the play you are asking for wouldn’t hit home for me. It is a fantasy for me- where I sit down with my aunt and have a conversation about identities It wouldn’t be emotional because it would never happen. Because that is what your said privileged people do- conversations about identities. Not us poor blue collar folks. And your attitude towards Della is elitist and condescending. Yes she is a bigot. But your (and Macy’s attitude) is not so nice either.

ANDREA G., you are why I write plays. Thank you for speaking for me, with me.

 

Posted in arrogant art things, awesome, faith, family, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater, women, words | No Comments »

how to paint a miniature

April 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday afternoon, Morrison painted a miniature while I tried to rewrite a tiny part of The Cake for the 900th time. Taking a break from  (READ: PROCRASTINATING) my own task at hand, I watched him swirl tiny paints together with a tiny brush and bring the tiny brush to the tiny face of a tiny person. It felt like he and I were attempting the exact same thing. And so, if it’s a writer’s job to collect similes: trying to rewrite a play that’s already existed for years, without breaking it or changing it entirely, is EXACTLY like painting the Hair onto a fingernail sized person: you must use the tiniest of brush strokes, you must never once question what it is that you are doing.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, MAWWAGE., whining, working | No Comments »

Spicez / Herbz

April 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

WHO’S GOT TWO HANDS AND SIGNED UP FOR A WORKSHOP ALL ABOUT HOW TO PROPERLY GROW, STORE AND GRIND VARIOUS SPICES AND HERBS? THESE NERDS!

AND ALSO MYSELF. Above nerds are kind strangers turned friends who I met yesterday at Radical Cooks, an east LA cooking school where I will definitely be returning. Participants leave with their own spice blend AND with the moral superiority that organically comes with being able to tell the difference between cilantro and parsley. The school offers a variety of classes and I now want to take all of them so obviously I will have to FIND THE THYME (it’s dying in a small pot in my backyard / see how easy it is to find thyme?)

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how to say

April 21st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m not going to go on my exotic cultural exchange trips to exotic and rugged foreign lands like the US state of Hawaii and NOT share my anthropological findings with you. And so, here you go:

The instrument above is NOT pronounced YOU-KOO-LAY-LEE.

It is pronounced. OOO-KOO-LAY-LAY.

I learned this from a trusted native I encountered, by which I mean a guidebook I purchased from Amazon, so it must be true. Okay students, go forth and spread truth. CORRECT EVERY PERSON WHO SAYS IT WRONG. CORRECT THEM ARROGANTLY.

Posted in a lot, the whole world, vacay's, wanting, YAY | No Comments »

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