January 31st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Considering that it’s meant to be a dress for one of the most beautiful and important days in a woman’s life, it’s hilarious to me how angry and vacant and hungry and sullen brides often look in ads for dresses in the wedding magazines. Some favorites:
I mean I think I want to get married but mostly, it’s like, what is life? It is darkness and hours and it is tears. What is love but death?
I do, I think, but also — I’m stuck to this wall.
Of course I’ll marry you but can my friend come? THAT’S COOL RIGHT? WE LIKE CRAFT STORES.
I’d love to marry you, but I’m a child. An angry, angry child.
I love tree. What? What are words? I’m having a stroke.
No, see, I do really want to marry you, but I’m dead inside.
No wait, correction, I mean I AM ACTUALLY DEAD.
Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, awesome, generally, ha, hmmmmm, women | No Comments »
January 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Today, on things of little consequence: for months, people have been texting me this little alien face:
Like over and over. To the point where I assigned meaning to it, something like OUT OF THIS WORLD! or YOU’RE WEIRD LIKE FROM ANOTHER PLANET! or LIFE IS STRANGE or THE ALIENS ARE COMING! depending on the context. For months, I never asked the texter what they meant by the little face snug next to confetti and or Santa. Then I met little brostetter Dan’s friend in NYC, Caitie, who is perhaps the coolest girl I have ever met, like she does IT / COMPUTER WORK FOR CHANEL. So when she texted it to me, I decided that this girl, of all people, could shed meaning. This girl knows everything. I asked, and she said they had no idea what I was talking about. WHAT ALIEN FACE? I spent a few minutes fairly certain that I was losing my mind / that I had been selected by said Aliens as the one member of the human race who would guide them to domination, if they just earned my trust, carefully and through emojis. Caitie, being good with the internet, quickly discovered that it just meant I needed to update my Operating System (O.S., apparently) and so for months, people have been sending me all sorts of thumbs up and tiny pieces of pie and ethnic faces and I’ve just been convinced the whole time that Aliens are a thing that people are now using to express emotion. I would like to officially declare that I am old. I would also like to note that I STILL HAVE NOT UPDATED MY OPERATING SYSTEM / THAT SOUNDS HARD.
Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, oh nooo, whining | No Comments »
January 29th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
When you’re a adapting a book for TV / film, I think for a while you forget about the book, just for a moment, to create a larger world. And then you remember it, return to it. American Gods is stuffed full of brilliant musings about belief and what it is to be a human in the world. My new favorites:
‘The paradigms were shifting. He could feel it. The old world, a world of infinite vastness and illimitable resources and future, was being confronted by something else — a wed of energy, of opinions, of gulfs. People believe, thought Shadow. It’s what people do. They believe. And then they will not take responsibility for their beliefs; they configure things, and do not trust the conjurations. People populate the darkness; with ghosts, with gods, with electrons, with tales. People imagine, and people believe: and it is that belief, that rock -solid belief, that makes things happen.’
‘There are stories that are true, in which each individual’s tale is unique and tragic, and the worst of the tragedy is that we have heard it before, and we cannot allow ourselves to feel it too deeply. We build a shell around it like an oyster dealing with a painful particle of grit, coating with smooth pearl layers in order to cope. This is how we walk and talk and function, day in, day out, immune to others’ pain and loss. If it were to touch us it would cripple us or make saints of us; but, for the most part, it does not touch us. Want allow it to. No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each others’ tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature, and by the repetitive shape and form of the stories. There was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or another, died. There. You may fill in the details from your own experience.’
Posted in I write for television?, a lot, i am lucky, the whole world | No Comments »
January 28th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Everybody set your podcast DVRs if that’s a thing for Feb 4th at 11 pm London Time which is potentially 5 PM east coast time / 2 PM West Coast time / MATH / for my dear Lily’s BBC RADIO COMEDY. Lily is brilliant at many things, particularly monologues, and has an uncanny ear for capturing the at once funny and sad. Every email I receive from her is a little package of ‘ Hello, I’m in a hut in India in a mosquito net which is trapping Mosquitos in rather than keeping them out.’ I cannot wait to hear what she’s made, and wrap the awkward moments and accents around me like throws.
Posted in YAY, i am lucky, what my friends are doing, women, words | No Comments »
January 27th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
I love many things about morning television, but I adore most this tendency: when the producers are like, nothing is happening in the world right now that is interesting to us so LET’S JUST GET OUR HANDS ON A WILD BIRD OR ANIMAL AND JUST SORT OF PUT IT THERE AND MAKE THE HOSTS PLAY WITH IT, and then America will be all, WHOA LOOK AT THAT THING! And we’ll all have a laugh, forgetting as per usual that we too are just wild animals given language and shoved into pants or skirt or skort.
Posted in TV, a lot, animals, famous people stuff, things, tout | No Comments »
January 26th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
So I went to Kleinfelds, the large and fancy wedding dress store where they film Say Yes to Dress because I mean YOU ONLY LIVE / MARRY ONCE / HOW COULD I DEPRIVE MY MOTHER OF THIS EXPERIENCE. Also, we found sister Carrie’s dress there, so it just had to done. My mom popped up from Maryland and we all gathered to oooooh and also ahhhhhhhh. I mostly just wanted to go for the experience, like SORT of ironically, like how even dare I, but then of course my mind was blown. After trying on some perfect gorgeous things that were like what I’ve been trying on, I asked my ‘stylist’ which is the only time I will ever use that sentence to bring me anything in the entire store that she thought that I should wear, and so she did. She zipped me in, I waltzed into the main room, checked myself out, friends and mother cried, and suddenly I could see myself walking towards Morrison and I’d never felt more lovely and the word YASSSSSSSSS literally erupted from the depths of the princess soul that I did not even know that I had.
Of course I will not post a picture of Yes Dress here. ONLY THIS CLUE.
Posted in a lot, awesome, boys, i am lucky, love, what I'm wearing | No Comments »
January 25th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Q. Bekah is 33 years old. She has been in New York City for 4 days where there is 0 chance of getting a DUI, so naturally, Bekah has been consuming 3 to 4 glasses of wine a night. How many more nights can she keep this going for / how much more wine before Bekah’s body gives up and her brain turns to grapes and she just dies of sulfite poisoning?
A. NOW. SHE IS ALREADY DEAD. BEKAH GO HOME.
Posted in YAY, a lot, silly, the future, things, whining, women | No Comments »
January 24th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Yesterday, mid-blizzard, I had to get myself and luggage from the West Village to Midtown with no cabs / 2 feet of snow everywhere / snow banks high as four feet that are, shall we say, not conducive to rolley bags. It was a tiny adventure challenge, but a challenge adventure, nonetheless. Bro Dan offered to help but I refused it, because there is something psychotic in all of us who live or have lived in NYC: WE HEART THE STRUGGLE. It makes us feel strong and alive. I made my way up and down stairs and streets with the biggest stupidest grin on my face, remembering what is was like to have every day be an epic battle of sorts. I wonder if now, in LA, when I feel anxious and I don’t know why, I am sensing the lack of that struggle? Does the struggle keep us balanced?
No one blinked at the lunatic girl lugging her stuff uptown in a blizzard. Everyone was just like: Yep. Me too, you brave lunatic. Me too.
Posted in a lot, oh nooo, the whole world, tout, where i want to live, whining | No Comments »
January 23rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Bro Dan rocks the same look, RAIN OR SHINE OR BROSTORM.
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January 22nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
IS A WORD FOR WHEN YOU FORCE FAMILY MEMBERS TO VERY QUICKLY TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU IN AN ELEVATOR
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