So I got myself a new yoga mat, because my old one was gray, and I decided I definitely needed a bright color that shouted at me each morning with optimism. Heading to class this morning, I wondered if I can donate my old yoga mat to the homeless, THOUGHT THE ACTUAL BRAIN INSIDE OF MY HEAD. I immediately slapped myself while walking which is not a weird thing to see a person carrying a cartoon dinosaur purple yoga mat do. Homeless people don’t get to do YOGA. BUT. I thought about it more. Homeless people definitely need yoga mats, Brunstetter. FOR THE SLEEPING. Most of them sleep on cardboard boxes, or on the actual ground. Two seconds on the inter web, and I already found this great charity that collects old mats and donates them to the homeless, as well as Vets, people with eating disorders, inmates, anyone who doesn’t have 40 bucks lying around and could benefit from breathing and stretching. Take a look and considering donating your old friend, or swapping out for a new one, giving yours a wipe down, and giving it to someone who needs it. In fact, may we (I) (mostly I) have a year of heightened awareness of need, less self deprication / wariness of seeming cliche, and more generosity.
Gettin me four new sister friends (3 of Mo’s sisters + his sister in law) with this here marriage! They are for sure four gals that, if I were to have just met them in life, I would have befriended them anyways. WHY, HERE’S TWO OF THEM NOW!
IT’S AS IF WE PLANNED IT.
Still wondering what to do on New Year’s Eve? WELL. The Olive Garden still has tickets for an exclusive dining event in their Time Square location, featuring a partial view of the ball drop and eggplant parm, for only 400 DOLLARS A POP. But the OG warns: you will not be able to leave the restaurant once you enter and there will definitely be a nine hour wait for the bathroom where there will be none toilet paper but hey at least you’ll be inside and not standing in the street smushed with strangers like a barrel of old bananas and that there will be ABSOLUTELY NO FREE BREADSTICKS BECAUSE LET’S NOT START A RIOT. Now If you need ME New Year’s eve, I will hiding inside spooning my crockpot and just in general reveling in my personal space.
For Christmas, Morrison’s sister Anne gifted me with an M ring to go with my b ring so that I might be EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS AT ALL TIMES.
Merry Christmas to You and Yours etc etc etc my Mom gave me a book containing all of my report cards K through 12th grade and apparently my freshman year gym teacher felt that I NEEDED TO STUDY MORE AT HOME.
READ: EAT LESS BURGER KING; WEAR LESS JEWELRY MADE OF CANDY.
’twas the afternoon before christmas
and all through my head
visions of christmas excitement and also wedding excitement collided perfectly with a NyQuil hangover and perhaps some sort of festive holiday head snot and it’s pouring rain and 80 degrees outside and what is happening to this world and it has not been this hot here since 1863 I think I read and WHAT WILL BECOME OF MIAMI.
danced through my head
did I mention it was happening in my head
So I instead looked at staged pictures
of elf on a shelf
and spent sometime wondering what if I myself
had invented them
because I really should have
also what’s a kerchief
Neither of us are quote unquote horse people, but Unbeknownst to both of us, our whole lives, we’ve been destined to get hitched in this BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAIN HORSE STABLE.
It’s amazing how the place you marry becomes an extension of the unit you create as two people. Just as Mo has taught me to unwind, re-appreciate being outside, SO WILL WE GIVE TO OUR GUESTS. Y’all, this stable is surrounded by luxury cabins with views of the Blue Ridge mountains, and there is basically no cell service. FAMILY AND FRIENDS, YOU ARE WELCOME.
Morrison thinks I have a wedding demon inside of me adjacent to my Christmas demon and I just REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.
P.S. TRIED ON DRESSES TODAY.