bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Kismet.

April 13th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

(These are pokey sticks. They are basically like sticks of pizza that covered in absurd amounts of cheese that you get delivered to your dumb room that come with multiple sides of ranch. Its box NEVER fits in your tiny fridge so it just kinds of sits on the floor, congealing, and then it’s also breakfast, and then it’s also lunch.)

Match. Made. In Heaven. As follows:

Super nice, Super Ripped Personal Trainer: Hi, so how can we help you today?

Me: I don’t know, I’m just kinda bored with my workout and I feel like I’m wasting time when I workout and there is such little time, like in life, and I’m also tired of constantly trying to lose ten pounds and not really doing that at all and I’m tired of wasting that brain and emotional space because I’d really like to fill it with other things that are not Chips. CHIPS! so I figured if I gave you the $800,000 you require to train me I’ll be so ridden with guilt and panic over all of the money that I just gave you that I might actually make some progress? Also, hello.

Personal Trainer: Nice monologue. I can help ya. Where ya from?

Me: North Carolina.

PT: ME TOO!

ME: NO YOU’RE NOT.

PT: I AM, I’M FROM ASHEBORO!

ME: NO YOU’RE NOT!

PT: I AM! I WENT TO UNC CHAPEL HILL AND STUDIED THEATER!

ME: ME TOO!

PT: OH MAN, I GOT SO FAT AT UNC!

ME: ME TOO!

ME / PT: ALL OF THE CHIK FILA AND ALL OF THE POKEY STICKS, OH MAN WE WERE SO FAT

ME: WANT TO BE MY TRAINER FOREVER?

PT: OKAY!

ME: HERE IS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY!

PT: OKAY GREAT NOW LIFT THIS MASSIVE THING NINE TIMES! TAR!

ME: HEEEEEELLLSSS!

Posted in a lot, awesome, Uncategorized, women, working, worrying | No Comments »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

April 12th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

This horrific thing appeared on the internets this week and it’s just like

it’s like what are people / why is anything / who is she / what are boobs

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

the what and the why

April 11th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

A Fedex truck crosses lanes and slams into Bus full of prospective low income and FIRST GENERATION ATTENDEE COLLEGE HOPEFULS en route to visit a university, see about scholarships, etc, killing 10 of these prospective low income and first generation college attendees and the young admissions officer who worked tirelessly to get them in the door.

WHAT.

WHY.

Sometimes tragedy feels not just ironic but down right malicious.

Posted in life | No Comments »

Today, on things found in Houses belonging to Boys

April 11th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

WOODBOOK

BOOK OF WOOD

Posted in a lot, awesome, boys | No Comments »

spirit things

April 10th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

Spirit tree:

Spirit animal: chipmunk

Spirit food: donut covered in delicately crushed pieces of  cherry blowpop, served on a bed on fresh kale

Posted in a lot, awesome | No Comments »

Googles ‘honey baked ham los angeles’

April 9th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

ELIZABETH CASTORIA, AVERT YOUR EYES!

HAVE YOU AVERTED THEM?

OKAY.

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Last night I dreamt of honey baked ham, like that was my dream, just basically ham, which sent me straight to the internet to see if I might find one for Easter Sunday.

Basically:

Me: Honey Baked Ham Los Angeles.

Internet: What?

Me: ….Honey Baked Ham Los Angeles?

Internet: Your search yields no results.

Me: ….Ham?

Internet: No.

Me: PLEASE?

Internet: YOU’RE FAT.

Me: What? No —

Internet: OKAY HERE’S AN AD FOR A GYM

Posted in awesome, food, holidays, Uncategorized | No Comments »

L’anxiety

April 8th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

In case you haven’t clocked  ALL OF MY ALL CAPS AS OF LATE,   I HAVE BEEN FEELING AN ONSLAUGHT OF SUDDEN AND INCREASING ANXIETY WHICH IS BEST EXPRESSED VIA RUN ON SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS. I decided to person up and go and talk to someone about it,  instead of just continuing to freak out that I’m not reading enough / doing enough / that I don’t manage my money well enough / that the glaciers are melting / that I have a tumor / mediocrity / WHERE ARE MY REVISED W2’s / SKITTLES?

Even after one sit down, I feel better. It was just good to talk and sort of unpack my worry and how ridiculous most of it is, just by naming each worry outloud. This nice someone, let’s call her ‘therapist’ or ‘angel sent by God’ pointed out that I have a lot of past anxiety — worry that I didn’t do things right, and future anxiety — worry that things won’t work out or fall apart — but am presently, currently pretty okay. I really need to remember that. Right now, I am okay. I just need to rest here, and also, just accept that worry is just part of being a person. OKAY SO NOW I WILL JUST FIND TIME TO ACCEPT THAT AND  AND THEN I WILL ALL CAPS!

Posted in whining | No Comments »

Me and Miss Mack

April 7th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

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Saw a run through of widow yesterday, You guys, this lady was born to have my silly words pour out her gob.

Posted in famous people stuff, i am lucky | No Comments »

paperchair

April 6th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on a glimpse at my Neuroses and I am definitely a Gemini, here is my paperchair:

Oh, did you want to SIT in my chair? Good luck to you. Few months back, I decided I didn’t want to read the paper online, dangit, I wanted to touch it, I wanted to spread it across a table and pour over it, flip through it, put coffee rings on it. So I got sunday home delivery, and then also at some point, I started stacking them on this chair. There’s something sort of desperate about the impulse, like LOOK AT ALL OF THE PAPER I HAVE READ! but there’s also something reassuring about seeing them all stacked there, something that makes me feel like a Person. I never feel like I’m reading all that I should be reading, but paperchair provides visible proof of what I have read, but also, makes me feel wasteful and is ALSO visible proof my worry over whether or not I’ve read enough, whether or not I live in a bubble, whether or not I know enough about the world, global world, local world, sports world, business world, book world, art world, just basically all of the worlds. Which is to say, paperchair provides me with deep comfort and also DEEP ANXIETY.

Posted in awesome, things that I Have | No Comments »

essentials

April 5th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

When you think about it, I guess it is kind of frivolous that we spend cash money on flowers to put in our houses, but also when you think about it, it’s a small price to pay to have something soothing and nice to look at to keep us all from PRIMALLY MURDERING EACH OTHER OUT OF LONGING AND STRESS. FLOWERS, INSTEAD!

Posted in hmmmmm, things that I Have | No Comments »

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