I sometimes complain about my longish commute to work everyday, some 30 miles up the 5 to Santa Clarita, which can take over a pissy hour, BUT: at the end of the day, and at the beginning of it, I get to cruise to and from some glorious mountains, drankin coffee, listenin to Bluegrass or perhaps songs from that brilliant and weird musical about Siamese twins, in total peace and privacy, which, if I were to count my blessings, would add up to at least 8 blessings, and if you were to add that to my other blessings, it would be a book of a blessings that could break the sturdiest of shelves.
a.) a biscuit with sugar on it that mysteriously appeared at lunch today which I promptly ate but not before taking a picture with it
b.) the thing in my hand
c.) what boys sometimes call me
d.) All of the above
e.) SEE YOU IN HELL, BIKINI
Nice PA in Golfcart (stopping next to me:) Hey, you wanna ride?
Me: No, thanks, it’s okay, I’m walking.
Nice PA: C’mon, I’ll give you a ride.
Me: No, it’s okay, I’m on a walk.
Nice PA: ….?
Me: I’m doing this on purpose.
Nice PA: ……….….?
Me: I had a bagel this morning, sooooo.
Nice PA: ……..
Me: And I’m going to Costa Rica in a few weeks. So you know. Watching my girlish figure. Teehee, and things.
Nice PA: ?
Me: You’re right. I’m a stupid cliche. I am cartoon of myself. I am a half page in a women’s magazine missing it’s cover, stuffed beneath a couch in a dentist’s office.
Nice PA : ……..
Me: I KNOW.
My college buddies Brian and Robbie, who have been together for something absurd like 10 years (all through their 20′s / WHO DOES THAT) ARE GETTIN HITCHED! And Here is there best Save the Date Ever.
And here it is, Again.
You’re welcome, and good luck ever topping it.
I went to a tie party last night, at which you had to wear a tie, and so I rocked the living crap outta a bowtie and a suspenders and now I genuinely fear that I may, briefly or perhaps for quite some time, b be a person who wears suspenders all the time. They hold your pants up. They give you something to fiddle with. They make you feel like a whismical children’s bartender on a cloud, servin up pink lemonade and chocolate milk. I kind o of want to wear them on the regular. I guess there are worse things.
OR ARE THERE.
Friends Danny and Lauren just got engaged in Joshua Tree and they just so happened to be dressed as a chic pair and there just so happened to be a fashion photographer present and it just so happens that my heart just exploded with joy for them and it will so happen in the future that I cannot wait for this wedding.
Took my phone out of my pocket to find this. MY POCKET HAS MANY THINGS TO SAY TO ME, MOSTLY INVOLVING Ms. WHAT IS IT, POCKET? WHAT. IS. IT.