My Mom gave me this North Carolina magazine, I believe it’s called Our State? (Thanks Mom!) which I read cover to cover on the plane back up to more thoroughly pretend like the plane was not shaking like we were stuck in the hand of a giant, ancy baby. The magazine is pretty amazing and gave me this sense of pride / belonging re: NC, which I haven’t really felt much of before. It made me want to visit the little big town of Elkin, make a whole lot of squash casserole, watch an old man make a violin, but mainly: I read about a hurricane that ravaged Southport, NC – just up the street from where my family vacay’s every year – in 1954. I’d heard of this storm, but hadn’t heard the details. It then dawned on me that were I to have a daughter, I should probably name her Hazel, being that it’s also the color of my eyes. When she’s bad I’ll call her Hurricane, when she’s good I’ll take naps.
Yesterday was kind of a crap day with some tears and introspection and frustration, for reasons I will not go into, as I refuse to let this be the kind of blog where I drag innocent readers deep into the bowels of my actual personal life. And also, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t that bad of a day, it was just one of those tough but ultimately important life days that will later, years later, turn into one act plays. To cope, I dug out this How to Learn French coloring book my Grandma gave me when I was 8 that I never touched, and I colored. Oh, did I ever color, and then suddenly, everything was fine.
But seriously, Bravo, get on this. There are multiple storytelling angles. Like: grown women re-visiting high school dynamics! Husbands creating power washing businesses! Babies! Jobs! Strippers! Health Insurance! Photography! Scandals (?) ! Me, being the only unmarried person in the room! But also, seriously, Bravo, we would willing throw wine at each other for say, 5K an episode.
Say, Fattie! Are you having 85% of your high school friends over for dinner? Are you concerned about the gut repercussions of the cheese and wine and pesto and cake that will certainly be consumed? Try walking up and down the hills outside your parent’s in 100 degree heat. Or, just go outside, and simply exist for an extended period of time, and you will Burn about five million calories that you can quickly replace with chardonnay.
The people are all, omg, are you a Brunstetter, can I get your autograph, omg you’re so cool, omg can I take your picture, and I’m all, listen, plebeians, my Mom and are not to be bothered, as we are only here to go around this lazy river 900 times, while wearing hats.
This is my sister from another mother, Blaine:
And this her husband, thankfully also from another mother, Jason:
For going on four years now, Jason has continuously been an amazing husband for my sister, for reasons which I will now present in list form:
- When he first started dating Blaine, he made a huge effort to make friends with her friends – instant points in my book*.
- He knows many things about craft and local beers.
- He lets Blaine be who she is.
-He takes good care of himself.
- He supports her (moving with her to Oregon so she can do her PHD,while he also pursues a Masters in family counseling) but also challenges her (to run marathons. DANG.)
- He seems to love her more and more each year.
- He’s sweet, but knows when to husband it up with the waiter and get us a free pizza, since our Large was more like a Medium, which I am currently eating for lunch. Thanks, husband.
- He reads my blog every day. HI!
* but what if there were really a book, and I really put points in it?
This Man Dressed as Goat has been causing all kinds of hooplah in Utah, where he’s been spotted. Speculation swirled until a man in his 50s anonymously called the local precinct: ‘Leave the goat man alone. He’s done nothing wrong.’ Apparently, he’s just been preparing for hunting season, which makes (none) sense to me.
My Dad used to always joke about getting out his baseball bat, re: boys intereacting with me. Welp Pater, it’s your turn. He’s lost a bunch of weight from bike riding and some diet that I don’t understand that seems to involve lots of lentil stews. He’s super studly, and now it’s my turn to bat away the honayyys.
OH HI FROM NORTH CAROLINA! where I have just arrived! Through a startling chain of events, I have discovered that my Mom now has an adorable garden on her patio, in which she is growing tomatoes, sweet peppers, basil, rosemary, sage and dill, the latter which I’ll be using tonight to prepare my famous OH MY COD!
Also in discoveries, this squash, gifted to my mom last tuesday, is actually a zucchini squash hybrid.