bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

DREAM LIFE PARTNER

March 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

He’s currently looking at pictures of Star Jasmine to train and grow up our pergola, mumbling to himself, Star Jasmine is the shit.

Every now and then, and when I least expect it,  like perhaps just announcing that he’s going to go downstairs,  he starts doing very serious modern dance moves for no reason. They’re always gone as quickly as they started.

THIS IS HOW HE PUTS THE DUVET BACK INTO THE DUVET COVER.

REALLY ASKING, HOW DID I MANAGE TO PULL THIS OFF?

Posted in a lot, boys, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

Why I’m Tired

February 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I hate it when people are like, I’m so busy and tired, here’s why I’m so busy and tired, and yet, I feel compelled to document the absurdity that was January. And so I’ve gathered these facts, for my own amusement, and maybe yours:

January 4th, my last This is Us episode started pre-production.

Jan 6th, The Cake started rehearsal in NYC.

January 10th-11th, the This is Us writers went to Vegas where I ate all of the tequila and the hotel moaned all night like it was crying, preventing any sort of sleep.

January 12th, I (with consistent help from Morrison, who managed to turn it into a weird game) started shooting myself up with hormones twice a day, in hopes of harvesting some eggs / making us some embryos at the end of the month.

January 15th my episode started filming. I gave myself shots each morning and night, worked 12 hour days, grew increasingly tired and perhaps emotional, but perhaps maybe it’s normal to sob when you pass teachers protesting in the rain? I stole naps when I could. I tried to focus. I humbly ate from whatever trough of mashed potatoes was provided between scenes.

January 21st my episode wrapped.

January 22-27 I spent each day at the doctor, getting bloodwork and ‘wandwork,’ if you will, increasing hormone dosages, crying at fingernails, drinking whole grain goldfish crackers like vitamin water.

January 28th I went under, eggs came out (TO GREAT SUCCESS / MORE ON THAT LATER.)

Jan 29th I flew to NYC with IV tape gum still pulling at my arm hairs to check in with The Cake, watched three days of run-throughs, gave notes,  continued to try and understand and communicate my play, saw some shows, saw some favorite people, ate meatloaf alone, had some meetings about some potentially very exciting new things. Last night, I got to the airport, found an empty outlet, dropped my things, collapsed onto a weird stool and just sat there, and realized, that I was exhausted.

And just for a moment I wondered, Why?

REALLY BEKAH? REALLY? WHY?

And then I realized that I was so tired because my dreams are coming true, sort of slowly and immediately at the same time.  And then I realized that when dreams come true, it’s exhausting. And then I decided: if you’re not careful, you’ll actually  miss your own dreams coming true. You’ll confuse them with fatigue. Then I decided to forever try and associate Tired with dreams coming true. Except of course when I am actually, really just tired, in which case, I will just GO TO SLEEP. GNIGHT, SEE YOU IN MARCH

Posted in a lot, babies, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, lies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, the making of babies, the writing of drama plays, theater, things | No Comments »

SULTRY HOTEL ROOM ACTIVITIES

January 31st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

MARRIED LADY GETS A HOTEL ROOM TO HERSELF FOR A FEW NIGHTS

DEEP AND LONG REPRESSED DESIRES EMERGE

AVERT YOUR EYES

 

 

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BEST 27

December 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Once again, I choose not to limit my year in review to a mere nine pictures, because I mean, there were just too many Cakes. Honestly even the happiest moments of this year feel slightly tinged with sadness, but scrolling through, I was happy to see / remember that I managed quality time with ALL of my favorite women, saw 4 of the 10 (I think 10?) of the year’s productions of the Cake, went to Hawaii for the first time, and was endlessly, continuously amused by my husband. Not pictured are other accomplishments like ‘actually started flossing regularly sort of’ and ‘purchased a kitchen mandolin’ and ‘started writing things down in a single notebook’ and ‘opened airline credit card to obtain travel points only to discover that Airline does not offer direct flights between New York and LA which is literally the only reason why I opened the freaking card.’

Went to the Ovation Awards with Miss Debra Jo Rupp who WON, La Jolla Playhouse Cake production, got some bro time in NYC / workshopped my TBTB play, Highlands with Blaine and Carrie, KAUAI with Morrison, Chicago Cake with Mack, went to visit E in the mountains:

MTC announced OFF BROADWAY CAKE!, Morrison unearthed this incredible headshot, I made a bitmoji, TULUM WITH ELIZABETH, Gracie awards with This is Us writer Women, Elli’s wedding!, Alley Theater/ Houston Cake, a visit from Tim:

We revamped our back yard, Tim got married, MORRISON DONNED A GOLD FACE MASK, Emmys, Geffen Cake / LA remount, got an alumni award from UNC, celebrated 2 years marriage, desperately dressed up for Halloween for three trick or treaters, HOSTED A DREAM THANKSGIVING FOR DREAM FAMILY.

 

Posted in a lot, horn tooting, how interesting, i am lucky, life, love, MAWWAGE., things that I Have, tout, YAY | No Comments »

The Resident Bridal Portrait

December 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Mom: I got a giant picture of you as a Bride framed. Do you….want it?

Me: NO.

Mom: Okay, why not?

Me: Because I don’t want to be a person who has a giant framed picture of myself as a bride in my house, but THANK YOU for asking and for getting it framed.

Mom: Would you like me to…..keep it in MY house instead,  so you don’t have to feel like an outright narcissist, but when you visit, you can  sort of quietly and privately enjoy that there is a giant framed picture of yourself as a bride, hanging somewhere?

Me: YES, WORKS FOR ME

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

why to let your Dad shop for your Husband

December 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS HAPPENS.

Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact,  it was in fact one of the first things I liked about him,’ and both just sit there, thinking about your husband’s butt, and other time-tested, family holiday traditions.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., silly, YAY | No Comments »

CHRISTMAS PARTY SEASON

December 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Over the 110 and to the I-10

to Christmas Party we gooooooooo

my car knows the way

to carry my Bae

to your Party, we’ll stay five minutes then leave to eat pad thai aloneeeeeeee, HEY!

 

 

Posted in a lot, love, MAWWAGE., Uncategorized, YAY | No Comments »

6, scared of 7

December 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on I CAN CONTROL THE FUTURE WITH MY FEELINGS: For whatever reason, 36 feels like a safe, good, young age to me. There’s a roundness to it, a lightness, a youth. But then I think about turning 37 next year, and it has a danger, a sharpness, an oldness. 38 feels round again, safe and young again, but in an old way. 39 feels like a cliff, 40 like campground at high elevation with built in firepits,  a stunning view. Even, odd. I now know that I will turn 37 and not yet be a mom (tho perhaps in growth stage?)  I keep fixating on that number and punishing myself for it. I also keep fixating on the ages of women younger than me, who already have their kids / are currently growing them, and I keep feeling behind, like I’m supposed to be ahead but not, which is another way to say behind, which I already said, because I feel it to the point of repetition. And so, I’ll remind myself here:

Things that are NOT competitions:

  • who breathes the most per minute
  • who grows their hair the fastest
  • Having Kids

Things that ARE competitions:

  • Races
  • The Great British Baking show
  • Competitions

 

 

 

 

Posted in a lot, family, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., the making of babies, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Self Esteam

December 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, to Morrison: There’s some weird steam happening on the side of our house right now. Here’s a video.

Morrison: ….That’s steam. Steam happens when water evaporates. Like when it rains. The sun heats up the water, after….

Me: I mean, I KNOW, but it just seems like a lot of steam.

Morrison: I mean yeah, it is, but it rained a lot, and now it’s very sunny, so —

Me: SCIENCE

Morrison: Yep. Just basically that.

Me: I’M VERY SMART

Morrison: Yes, yes you are.

Me: AND VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL

Morrison: yes, sure —

Me: THE EARTH IS FLAT

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, LA angst, MAWWAGE., silly, where i want to live, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

it Has to be Hard

December 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like:

Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and / or relationship is.

Me: Yeah but sometimes, it has to be Hard. 

And ever since, he likes to repeat my own words back to me, when it in fact gets Hard, because of course, sometimes it does. I think what I was trying to say is that I didn’t want to feel like we were just in a relationship because it was easy. I wanted us to choose to be together, despite the Hard stuff. And for the last year,  there has been some Hard stuff. I mean, also the good stuff, like there is House and Family and Most Perfect Cat, there are blessings of Intellect, Careers, Curiosity, and Christmas Lights, and good lord, don’t get me started on microwavable breakfast sausage. But also: we want to be parents, and we are not. (YET.) And that has been Hard. Not knowing why not has been Hard, waiting has been Hard, watching it happen for other people has been Hard.  Yesterday, I underwent a (very routine) procedure (that I will try very hard not to be overdramatic about)  to correct some issues that turns out have been, well, making it Hard for us to conceive (THANK YOU, SCIENCE. MEDICINE? SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW. I WRITE PLAYS.) And now, on the other side of it, we’re hopeful that 2019 will make us parents, rob us of sleep, turn our home into a teething ring, and other beautifully Hard things that I will surely complain about, PERHAPS EVEN HERE.  And I really can’t wait for that Hard stuff. Because, I mean, a wise Bekah once said, not really realizing what she was saying, or that it would echo through her heart for years to come: IT HAS TO BE HARD. I know for a fact that whenever a small person takes over my body and subsequently, our home, I will appreciate it harder, because it was Hard. So I’m just going to focus, Hard, on that fact.

 

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

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