bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

allow me to CATch you up

December 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hi, were you wondering were my Cat likes to hang out? OF COURSE YOU WERE. MY therapist recently advised me to pet Cracker whenever I felt anxious or overwhelmed, as nothing is more grounding or satisfying. And it’s as if the dude read my mind. It only took a year,  but Cracker is now super into our couch. For months he cuddled himself into corners and shoes and piles of tents in the garage, and then finally he was like, oh, COUCHES ARE MAYBE SOFT, AND FOR SITTING / LYING DOWN. And now he just chills there all day, namely when I’m watching TV,  and honestly it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ve  had snickerdoodle ice cream AND been to Thailand.

I HAVE SEVEN THOUSAND MORE / PLEASE INQUIRE WITHIN /  PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR OWN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE

Posted in a lot, animals, i am lucky, life, love, YAY | No Comments »

it Has to be Hard

December 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like:

Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and / or relationship is.

Me: Yeah but sometimes, it has to be Hard. 

And ever since, he likes to repeat my own words back to me, when it in fact gets Hard, because of course, sometimes it does. I think what I was trying to say is that I didn’t want to feel like we were just in a relationship because it was easy. I wanted us to choose to be together, despite the Hard stuff. And for the last year,  there has been some Hard stuff. I mean, also the good stuff, like there is House and Family and Most Perfect Cat, there are blessings of Intellect, Careers, Curiosity, and Christmas Lights, and good lord, don’t get me started on microwavable breakfast sausage. But also: we want to be parents, and we are not. (YET.) And that has been Hard. Not knowing why not has been Hard, waiting has been Hard, watching it happen for other people has been Hard.  Yesterday, I underwent a (very routine) procedure (that I will try very hard not to be overdramatic about)  to correct some issues that turns out have been, well, making it Hard for us to conceive (THANK YOU, SCIENCE. MEDICINE? SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW. I WRITE PLAYS.) And now, on the other side of it, we’re hopeful that 2019 will make us parents, rob us of sleep, turn our home into a teething ring, and other beautifully Hard things that I will surely complain about, PERHAPS EVEN HERE.  And I really can’t wait for that Hard stuff. Because, I mean, a wise Bekah once said, not really realizing what she was saying, or that it would echo through her heart for years to come: IT HAS TO BE HARD. I know for a fact that whenever a small person takes over my body and subsequently, our home, I will appreciate it harder, because it was Hard. So I’m just going to focus, Hard, on that fact.

 

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

HEY, TREE

December 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THE EAST COAST CALLED, IT WANTS ITS TREE BACK

IT CALLED AGAIN BECAUSE IT’S OBVIOUSLY QUITE DISTRAUGHT AS ITS MISSING ITS TREE

HONESTLY, THE EAST COAST SERIOUSLY JUST KEEPS CALLING

IT’S LIKE EAST COAST, LEARN HOW TO TEXT

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, the whole world, YAY | No Comments »

BREAKING THROUGH BARRIERS

November 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Elizabeth recently turned me on to the Nike Running Club App’s collaboration with Headspace, a meditation app which has helped millions of people NOT cry on their lunch breaks.  Andy Puddicome — the British meditation guide whose voice feels like sticking your hands in pudding in a good way — calmly speaks to you, reminds you to take in your surroundings, focus on the positive. Yesterday, I ran to ‘Breaking through Barriers,’ a meditation in YOU GET IT. But hilariously, I chose to jog at the very moment when about seventeen million kids were being walked to school by their parents. And so as Andy puddinged me to not focus on the things standing in my way, but instead stay present —  I LITERALLY BROKE THROUGH BARRIERS OF TINY CHILDREN, which aren’t my barrier, per se, but moreso my goal? But my inability to be positive about it all is, in fact, a barrier. AND SO I BROKE THROUGH IT / DIDN’T EVEN KNOCK ANY OF THEM OVER / ONLY RAN FROM THEM SCREAMING AT MY UTERUS FROM BEHIND MY EYES / SUCCESS!

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Ornaments as Memory

November 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A beautiful thing happened, in which Morrison and I can longer remember whose Christmas ornaments are whose. They all now live together in the same box and have fused histories, shared hooks and strings. With some of them, we just have a vague memory of receiving them, like this Cake slice that someone rightfully gave me last year:

And then of course some are 100% clear, like obviously these are my baby’s first Christmas balls:

And some of them it’s like, WHERE DID THIS ONE EVEN COME FROM?

AND LIKE, WHY EVEN GIVE US A STAR THAT’S TOO BIG TO PUT ON THE TOP OF THE TREE

Posted in a lot, holidays, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, life, love, MAWWAGE., memories, things, things that I Have, YAY | No Comments »

why je vote

November 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Digging through a drawer for stickers the other day (YES I AM A 36 YO WOMAN WITH A MODEST STICKER COLLECTION MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS) I found this old  mailer, from my Dad’s first Senate campaign:

When I was in high school and college I had this mindset about politics that I’m now ashamed of. I had my literal Father in government. I felt like, my Dad is worrying about all of that. (Which, believe you me, he was.)   I was fortunate enough to not feel directly affected by who was elected, what laws were passed, as I was healthy and fed. (Still am.) I instead chose to focus on and worry about the work and people and problems that were right in front of me, which, btw, I still feel is a good way to live. But it can’t stop there. That sort of selfishness feels inexcusable, these days.  Not caring about things that don’t affect you directly is not only undemocratic, it’s not very Christian, if not inhumane. I care about the health and dignity and rights of everyone, because empathy. My parents taught me empathy. Church taught me empathy. The world, every day, solidifies what’s been there, since I was kid.  DO YOU EVEN EMPATHIZE, BRO? GO GET YOUR STICKER.

 

Posted in a lot, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, YAY | No Comments »

how to dance with (near) your parents

November 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Going through tiny baby brother Tim’s recently released wedding pictures, and I’d just like to leave these here, as a helpful guide, for the next time you’re at a wedding with your parents, and just aren’t sure what to do with your body / face:

Posted in family, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

Be that House

October 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve always wanted to be that House that gives out Whole Candy Bars at Halloween, and this year, now that we are finally in a house that might actually get some trick or treaters,  WE ARE.

Not pictured: desperate and over-enthused compliments of costumes, unsolicited words of encouragement and weird voices,  awkward demands for tricks, all of which we will ALSO be handing out, but just do not fit in any sort of bowl.

 

 

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

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