bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

trickle down bekahnomics

December 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

A math problem:

Q. Bekah has five forty minute lunch breaks each week to  read about and try and understand the madness that is the proposed tax bill. Since Bekah is a slow and easily distracted reader who cannot get through a paragraph of an article without having a memory or a future thought or wondering if there might be a play about it, Bekah can read 1.5 articles per lunch break. How many lunch breaks spent reading about taxes will it take for Bekah to REALIZE THAT SHE HAS IN FACT OVERPAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON HER OWN PROPERTY TAXES?

A. ONE. THIS PARTICULAR LUNCH BREAK RIGHT NOW.

Posted in I hate money, a lot, whining | No Comments »

how they get you

October 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Consumer: I would please like a bed frame to hold my bed off the ground.

Pleasant Furniture store: Great! Here’s a reasonably priced bed frame, to hold your bed.

Consumer: Great! Now, I would please like two nightstands that match the bed frame, so that when I enter my room at night, I feel that sweet sweet calm brought on by the order of having house things that match.

Pleasant Furniture store: No problem. We have matching nightstands too BUT THEY  COST MORE THAN THE BED FRAME ITSELF AND THAT IS  JUST FOR ONE OF THEM AND  YOU NEED TWO FOR YOUR FALSE SENSE OF ORDER AND BALANCE, HAHAHAHA YOU IDIOT, YOU ARE WEAK AND YOU ARE MINNNNEEEEEEEEE MUAHAHAHA

Posted in I hate money, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, wanting, whining | No Comments »

house for sale in Los Angeles

June 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Newly tilted over, falling into the ocean 3 bed / 1.75 bath house for sale in sort of Los Angeles by which I mean, within one hour drive! It’s listed as approximately 10 times your yearly income regardless of how hard you’ve been working since grad school! It has a Countertop (1), .5 Toilet, Room, Floors, Walls (sometimes), and Beautiful views of the ocean, as it is partially sliding into it! Act now, as there are already 47 offers, all of which have been made in Diamonds! Actual diamonds! Oh do you not have sacks of diamonds GOOD LUCK FINDING A HOUSE

Posted in I hate money, a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, where i want to live, whining | No Comments »

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

April 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

For the first time in my adult working life, I just voted to strike. Sometimes I forget that I’m in a guild, as I don’t feel like a laborer. Writers’ work happens mostly in our minds, but we still need a guild to protect us from tomfoolery, like, say, the fact that tv and film producers’ income has DOUBLED in the last eight years, while writer’s income has decreased by 30 percent. Our pension is suffering, we’re working for less money, and we’re expected to do it with gratitude that we are working at all. The problem with this is that writers are dreamers by nature, which is super easy to take advantage of. I’m still sort of shocked that I get paid at all to write, but I have to put that aside and stand up for fair pay — especially given the INSANE amount of money that is being made off of what we write.  And so, STRIKE! I’m choosing to hope that this is just a bargaining tool for the negotiators, but either way — see you on the picket lines, or back in the writer’s room with what we deserve (SNACKS) (AND HEALTHCARE)

Posted in I hate money, LA angst, YAY, a lot, factual smarts, generally, how interesting, i am a grown up, optimism | No Comments »

WANNTTTTTT

February 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

On the way home from lunch yesterday, Morrison and I drove by some newly built, pretty rad looking condos for sale, and decided to casually pop into the open house, in a very low-stakes and Sunday sort of way. What followed was THE TWO OF US STOMPING AROUND THE BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW PERECT AND AMAZING PLACE LIKE CHILDREN, HEARTS PALPITATING AS WE DISCOVERED EVEN MORE CLOSETS AND BATHROOMS AND A MYRIAD OF SINKS, excitedly declaring where we could put things like babies and desks. And turns out, we might actually be able to afford it. We were planning on staying put in our place for a while, but a casual look at a vacant spot has turned into an all out fantasy of dinner parties and balcony and (small, but adorable) yard. Who knows if it’s actually practical, financially and life-wise, and we are still investigating. Stay tuned to find out if we are people who buy property after looking at it for five minutes. (Maybe. But also maybe not.) WEEEE!

Posted in I hate money, YAY, a lot, fancy, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am scared | No Comments »

A OR B

December 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

LET’S JUST SAY COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL FOR EXAMPLE THAT YOU’RE GOING ON YOUR HONEYMOON WHICH ONLY HAPPENS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU PLANNED IT MONTHS AGO AND NOW SUDDENLY TIME HAS MOVED AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TONIGHT. And maybe you just realized a few weeks ago that your destination of choice, Bali, is in fact enduring its ‘wet season’ during your visit month of choice, and then maybe you look at the forecast seconds before you leave and discover that it’s basically going to look like this the entire time:

And you feel dumb. You also feel disappointed. BUT ALSO YOU FEEL RESOURCEFUL. Also you know how to use the internet. Also you have a husband who is patient and less neurotic, and also you’ve been paid handsomely for your work, as of late. WHY BE PAID HANDSOMELY, IF AT ALL, IF YOU DON’T EVERY NOW AND THEN, LIGHT A LITTLE BIT OF IT ON FIRE TO LAST MINUTE CHANGE YOUR TRIP TO THIS INSTEAD?

PS, we’re off to Hua Hin, Thailand, instead, BECAUSE B.

Posted in I hate money, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, love, silly, the future, the whole world, whining, working, worrying | No Comments »

your Coconuts

May 21st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

My mind sees what it wants.  I just got this letter from my bank:

Which I first read as ‘Working together to keep your Coconuts protected.’ Call it a mild learning disability, early signs of a stroke, or perhaps call it what it is:  my brain says nay to all adult things  and ONLY EVER WANTS TO BE INSIDE OF A BOUNCY CASTLE AT A CHILD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY, COVERED IN FROSTING.

Posted in I hate money, YAY, life, the future, trying too hard, words | No Comments »

remembories

January 11th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Fudgebook reminded me yesterday that just five years ago, I was LITERALLY WRITING HOMEMADE MONOLOGUES TO FEED MYSELF AND PROVIDE MYSELF WITH LIGHT WHILE I WROTE. I will now take a moment to reflect on how far I’ve come, and how much has changed.

………..

I think I am actually still out of peanut butter.

Posted in I hate money, ha, how interesting, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays | No Comments »

Giving.

December 15th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

My phone rings with an unknown NYC number. It’s probably Broadway calling to see / beg if they can do one of my plays on their Broadway, so I answer.

Sweet Girl: Hi, Bekah?

Me: Yes? Hi!

Sweet Girl: My name is very sweet and professional and excited undergraduate theater student. I’m calling from the New School’s annual fund.

Me:…Damnit.

Sweet Girl: …Hmm?

Me: I can’t — I’m kind of driving to work right now, it’s very dangerous.

Sweet Girl: I only need a moment of your time. I just wanted to tell you about some of the exciting things going on at the New School right now.

Me: That’s awesome, but I’m still paying off the 120K that I owe the New School, so not so much feeling a donation at this point in time.

Sweet Girl: I totally get that. I just wanted to share with you that I’m just finishing my first semester at the New School, and I wouldn’t even be here as a theater artist without the gifts of people like you. Without my scholarship, this wouldn’t be an option for me. And I’ve just spent the last semester creating important work with my classmates that I feel really speaks to things happening in our country right now that we’re having trouble having conversations about.

Beat.

Me: HOW DO I PAY YOU.

Sweet Girl: I can send you a link.

Me: SEND IT NOW.

Posted in I hate money, a lot, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, things that I Have, whining | No Comments »

it sets in

December 5th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Accountant: Okay, so there’s your year end report numbers financial terms SEP IRA contribution payout payroll words.

Me: Great!

Accountant: And sometime in the new year, I can sit down with you and your husband and talk about filing jointly and combining accounts.

Me:…my WHAT?

Accountant: ….your husband? You said you got engaged?

Me: YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Accountant: What is that?

Me: I’M SOMEHOW SCREAMING AND SAYING YAY AT THE SAME TIME.

Accountant: Okay. You done?

Me: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Accountant: ….I’ll wait.

Posted in I hate money, a lot, love, the future | No Comments »

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