bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Empty / Full

October 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nearly one entire year ago, I bought this jar of Sorghum molasses from a roadside store in the NC mountains. We’d been married for two days and ten minutes. NOW NEARLY 365 DAYS LATER OMG TIME, It is finally cashed, as they say in France. Avoiding work and stress, I’ve turned the jar into countless cookies / memories / breads / apologies / gifts / thanks yous / carbs, just in general. The jar now appears to be empty, but it actually holds a whole year lived, 100 things not written. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, MOLASSES, AND OF COURSE ALSO THE PROCRASTINATION!

Posted in a lot, food, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., tout, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

HAPPY OUR BIRTHDAY

September 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I think birthdays are big freaking deals. I don’t care how old you are. It’s a day to make the birth person feel loved and loved hard. And so the fact that I have to leave my poor  husband on HIS birthday to fly to NC to go see The Cake makes me NAUSEOUS WITH PAIN AND GUILT. And so last night, I made sure to remind him what his birthday is really about: MANAGING MY OWN FEELINGS AND EXPECTATIONS AND GUILT ABOUT HIS BIRTHDAY. (Also, there were presents, most notably, a hand-crafted Axe, because survivalism is practically now a section on CrateandBarrel.com or perhaps it should be.)  HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my love, to my most favorite collaborator!  THERE IS NO ONE I’D RATHER FACE THE END OF DAYS WITH.

Posted in a lot, generally, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., the future, trying too hard, worrying | No Comments »

re: moving up in the world

September 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

This past year has held a lot of big life moves and changes: marriage, house, producer-ing, but most of all, THERE IS THE FACT THAT I NOW OWN MY OWN CHUNK OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR TO ADD TO MY OWN HAIR SO THAT MY OWN HAIR MIGHT APPEAR TO BE LARGER.

If you had told 13 year old me that one day I would purchase a section of someone’s else’s hair and pay people to put it into my own, I, nonplussed, woulda said yep. Yeah. That makes a lot  sense.

Posted in a lot, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women, YAY | No Comments »

2 brides / 1 dress

September 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Labor day weekend is super popular for weddings, and so naturally, there was one at the hotel where we stayed this weekend. I have spent my first year of marriage crying at even the SIGHT of a stranger’s wedding, moaning, I WANNA DO IT ALL AGAINNNNNNN! So naturally, when we saw the bride join her cocktail party last night, it went something like this:

Me: THE BRIDE!!!!!!

Morrison: Cool!

Me: Wait. Is she wearing my dress?

Morrison: I don’t know….?

Me: (Looking closer) SHE’S WEARING MY DRESS SHE’S WEARING MY DRESS

I take off RUNNING IN HER DIRECTION. After watching her mingle with her guests from behind a hedge for a few minutes, I returned.

Morrison: …looked better on you.

Me: YOU’RE RIGHT, IT TOTALLY DID.

Posted in a lot, MAWWAGE., narcissism, trying too hard, Uncategorized, women, YAY | No Comments »

Light

September 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on (wo)man’s search for meaning, I can’t stop thinking about this NYT picture of some people in Houston taking in vibrant sunlight for the first time in days:

Just as we all paused life and watched the eclipse a few weeks back, here are these people, rejoicing in a vast, shared thing. I’m not going to go as far as to say that perhaps God sent Harvey to humble us, and bring us together, but, okay, yes. MAYBE DID GOD SEND HARVEY TO HUMBLE US AND BRING US TOGETHER?   I acknowledge that this is a dangerous statement, as surely, most of the people who lost their homes in the floods were already humbled, already together. They did not need to lose their worldly belongings to be reminded of what they already knew. And It’s not lost on me that the flooding affected already poverty stricken, black and latino communities, and there are definitely other communities who are in greater need of being humbled. But still, I want it to be more than just wind forming over an ocean. I want it to have meant something. It’s not my job to determined said meaning, as I was not affected by the storm, but I can’t help but try. I just might look at this picture until it find it.

Posted in faith, generally, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, words, worrying | No Comments »

HOW TO WEAR CLOTHES AND NOT DIE

August 31st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

1.) Look at the weather outside

2.) Observe that it’s apocalyptic in its heat

3.) Look in your closet

4.) Consider Pants

5.) Reject the idea of Pants

4.) Find a summer dress that’s barely fabric that you are far too old to own, let alone wear

5.) Put a shirt on UNDER it so that’s mildly work appropriate

6.) CONGRATS, YOU’RE WEARING CLOTHES

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, things, tout, trying too hard, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

never present

August 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Were I to be doing self-reflective inventory of my best and worst qualities, I would say that one of the worst is that I am NEVER. PRESENT (except of course for our wedding reception, during which I shouted at people I FEEL SO PRESENT! Which maybe made me, say, 30% more present.)  I’m always minutes if not months ahead, instead of just being where and when I am. Case in point: ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHAT FOOD I WILL MAKE AT OUR HOUSEWARMING SLASH CHRISTMAS PARTY IN DECEMBER. How I will lay it on the table. How I will turn grapes into santa faces, how I will arrange the Cheeses, how I will stack the seasonal napkins, fan them out. I truly wonder, when I am inside of said Housewarming slash Christmas party, WILL I EVEN ACTUALLY BE THERE?

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am lucky, things that I Have, trying too hard, whining, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

EVERYTHING BUT THIS IS BAD

August 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t have any profound insight into the events of the last few days, but I do feel a need to express something, and so:

VANS ARE BAD

CROWDS ARE BAD

HATE IS BAD

THE DVIDE IS BAD

EVERYTHING IS BAD

BUT

DEBRA JO IS GOING TO BE ON THIS IS US IN WHAT WILL BE A PRETTY INCREDIBLE STORYLINE WITH RANDALL AND BETH, A WHITE WOMAN WITH A BLACK COUPLE, BUT IT’S BEAUTIFULLY NOT EVEN ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK FOR A SHOW THAT IS A PLATFORM FOR TRUTHFUL, UPLIFTING STORIES ABOUT FAMILY AND RACE AND CLASS AND ALL OF THE MUCK INBETWEEN

SO AT LEAST ONE THING IS NOT BAD

WORDS DONE

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, i have peace, the future, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, TV, what my friends are doing, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

dressxiety

August 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

This morning, the gals of This is Us were discussing Emmy’s dress options and I just sort of froze and crawled inside of myself. I’ve ordered a few to try, but mostly I feel just an absurd amount of dread: that I will either try too hard or not try hard enough, that I will spend an absurd amount of money to look at my pictures and see a  little girl trying too hard, that I will hate my pictures and feel like I ruined an incredible life moment by trying too hard or not hard enough, that my gut will press out of whatever overpriced thing I procure, and also that a dress is in fact equal in price to a dining room table which we definitely need. I’m hereby taking a moment to set aside said dread, and focus on what is actually happening: A SHOW THAT I WORK ON IS NOMINATED FOR AN EMMMY, AND SO, I AM GOING TO THE EMMY’s. Regardless of what I wear, I will be there, and that, in itself, considering my beginnings writing poems under my bed, is, and always will be, enough. OKAY BACK TO WORRYING ABOUT DRESSES.

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, i am lucky, silly, tout, trying too hard, TV, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

effective marketing

August 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I somehow ended up on the Upper Middle Class Women who love Tshirts that Say Socially Conscious Things especially if they are Soft listserv, and I’m not mad at it. Last week I got an email advertising this shirt from Everlane / The Human Rights Campaign:

Within SECONDS I had ordered one, because I am in fact 100% human, by which I mean 100%  SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING THAT IS GEARED DIRECTLY AT ME.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

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