bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

SPOILERZ / PREDICTIONZ

May 20th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

My brilliant and trickstery bro-in-law John made this Quiz to accompany last night’s Game of Thrones Series finale, and I’ll just leave my PREDICTIONS here:

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET, SPOILER: DANY DOES NOT DIE FROM PERIOD

 

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THIS IS MY BABY(?)

May 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Cracker is definitely a comfort during all of this fuckery.  We’re leaning on him more and more, by which I mean, trying to teach him how to Hug, by which I mean, picking him up and trying to wrap his arms around us and shouting at him ARMS OUT, CRACKER, ARMS OUT! Until he leaps from our arms and hides for hours someplace we can’t find him, then he forgets that it happened, slowly re-emerges, hungry and trusting, AND IT HAPPENS ALL OVER AGAIN. HE WILL LEARN TO HUG. HE WILL.

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there is nothing like a dame

March 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Earlier this week, I found myself getting my hair done next to a stunningly beautiful woman, like a woman beautiful not because of makeup, but because of inner life glow, alive eyes, white white teeth and voice like a British bell kept safe in a museum. She was trying decide which haircut to get, as she’d narrowed it to down to something like 6 different styles, and I said Well you could always grow five more heads and get all of them! And she threw her head back and laughed, so fully and deeply that I felt like I’d won a prize, and just for a second I think I became every man throughout history, in Rome and France and in every production of Guys and Dolls, who lived to make a beautiful woman laugh.

Posted in a lot, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, women, YAY | No Comments »

BOWELS OF THE DARK WEB

March 26th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night, deep in the trashcan of the Internet, I stumbled across this heinous, vile (BEAUTIFUL) thing called Couples Acroyoga, in which COUPLES DO YOGA CRAZY YOGA POSES ON EACH OTHER AND ALSO KISS:

Do they like it? Or Is it forced? Does she say, hey Jason, let’s do the thing and he’s like ugh Melissa, right NOW? And she’s like JASON YOU PROMISED

Do they puke on each other before, after, during or all of it? ALSO, MOST IMPORTANTLY,  I WANT TO DO IT, HOW LONG UNTIL MORRISON AND I ARE CASUALLY DOING IT WHILE WATCHING TV

ALSO HOW DO YOU MEASURE TIME WHEN IT’S NEVER

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, tout, trying too hard, Uncategorized, working, YAY | No Comments »

A Bird on the Hand

March 22nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, while surrounded by the comforts of the controlled environment in which I live, I found myself thinking about how rarely I step out of my comfort zone. MAYBE I take risks while writing? PERHAPS? But mostly I tend to make choices that keep me in situations in which unexpected things rarely happen, I have control over the variables of the environment, and I mostly interact with people who are like me. And I thought ,WHY, AS A WRITER, WOULD I EVER LIVE THIS WAY? Which is why, last night, over a controlled and comfortable dinner, Morrison and I signed up for a falconry class, because if A PEREGRINE FALCON (THE WORLD’S FASTEST ANIMAL) LANDING ON YOUR HAND IS NOT THE VERY DEFINITION OF STEPPING OUT OF ONE’S COMFORT ZONE THEN I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS BUT YOU GUYS IT’S DEFINITELY NOT EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW WAYS TO EAT SWEET POTATOES OR READING BOOKS THAT SHOUT YOUR OWN BELIEFS BACK AT YOU.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

VERY SUBTLE, GOD

March 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night I found myself in a not unfamiliar and very overdramatic place, a place I like to hang out in basically after each of my plays debuts in New York —   spiraling about my ability to write, wondering if I would ever do it again. I decided to look for more bad Cake reviews, searching for confirmation that I am, in fact, a shallow hack that should go crawl under a couch and or / go back to customer service. AND WHAT, YOU ASK,  DID I FIND? I suddenly have a  Wikipedia Page . A long and thorough wikipedia page, with  a section for Early Works. A page that includes not one but quotes from ALL of my bad Times reviews, but still, a page that steps through my whole career thus far, from overwritten one acts in festivals to TV awards nominations, my marriage to actor Morrison Keddie (my favorite part.) And I remembered that every time I feel for the tiniest of moments that I can’t do it anymore, that it’s all been a lie, that I am the empress really wearing no clothes at all — I get some little sign to keep going. The timing is always so sharp, it always feels as if I’ve written it. HI, SIGN. THANKS FOR THE NUDGE.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, trying too hard, wanting, whining, YAY | No Comments »

Be that House

October 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve always wanted to be that House that gives out Whole Candy Bars at Halloween, and this year, now that we are finally in a house that might actually get some trick or treaters,  WE ARE.

Not pictured: desperate and over-enthused compliments of costumes, unsolicited words of encouragement and weird voices,  awkward demands for tricks, all of which we will ALSO be handing out, but just do not fit in any sort of bowl.

 

 

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

that tiny, delicate life

August 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • purchases tiny, delicate necklace  for every day wear, in hopes of being a tiny, delicate person that just floats around like a whisper, dotted with diamonds the size of molecules
  • manages to wear it for about four months
  • in a moment of complete non-delicacy, HULKS OUT AND YANKS ON NECKLACE LIKE IT’S MADE OF CHAINS USED TO CAPTURE WHALES; SNAPS NECKLACE IN HALF
  • searches for another, CYCLE CONTINUES

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, women | No Comments »

CORRECTION

July 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Every theater company doing The Cake, in all of their marketing materials: WE ARE SO PROUD TO PRESENT THIS PLAY, WRITTEN BY THE HEAD WRITER AND CREATOR AND SOLE BRAIN BEHIND THIS IS US!

Me, frantically: IT’S NOT ME I’M JUST ONE OF THE WRITER’S I DID NOT CREATE PLZ ADJUST IMMEDIATELY

Theater Company:……?

Me: IT’S JUST THAT SERIOUSLY, I AM REALLY IN NO WAY IN CHARGE AND IF MY BOSSES SAW THIS I WOULD DIE

Theater Company: But can we tell everyone that you are?

Me: PLEASE DON’T

Theater Company: But what if we just let people BELIEVE that you are, so as to sell tickets?

Me: I FEEL ASHAMED

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, I write for television?, I'M SO EXCITED, lies, life, trying too hard, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

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