bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

the witching hour

June 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Experts and addicts and expert addicts say that alcoholics have a witching hour, a time of day when they always start to want a drink, for most, about 5 PM, the hovering inbetween day and night. Interestingly, TV writers rooms have a collective witching hour, but it’s about 3 PM, that hovering between lunch and end of day, and it’s NINETY SEVEN BAGS OF POPCORN. It’s predictable, it’s feral, it’s comforting, it’s disturbing, it’s how we somehow manage to get it all done.

Posted in TV, a lot, food, generally, ha, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

grown up spread

May 29th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

We had some friends over for a barbecue yesterday. Most of the conversations revolved around work and real estate and school districts and gestational diabetes, really confirming my suspicion that we are in our mid-30s. As for my grown up self, I obsessively and gleefully arranged trays of condiments and made colorful salads and put them into bowls:

BUT WAIT ACTUALLY, I’ve loved to do that since I was in my 20s, if not teens, if not childhood, which confirms my other suspicion that I’ve actually been in my mid-30s FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Posted in YAY, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, vices, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

I was definitely not born with it

May 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up.

Nice lady: Okay, so like a foundation or a compact or 2 in 1?

Me:….What?

Nice lady: What kind of make up do you normally use?

Me:….I put it on my face?

Nice lady: Okay, probably a two in one. What kind of skin do you have?

Me: Skin!

Nice lady: is it oily or dry?

Me: SKIN.

Nice Lady: Okay! Do you have a primer that you use?

Me: WHAT?

Nice lady: That you put on before your makeup.

Me: Like a moisturizer?!

Nice Lady: No, it’s a different thing that goes on after your moisturizer, before your makeup.

Me: NO I DON’T HAVE THAT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I NEVER LEARNED THESE THINGS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Nice Lady: try these products. And here’s my card with my number. Text me if you have any questions.

Me: OKAY BUT CAN I TEXT YOU IF I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, JUST IN GENERAL?

Nice Lady: Sure.

Me: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL HANDS

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, i am a grown up, oh nooo, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

baby’s first high fashion moment

April 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

MOVE OVER BEYONCE

I HAVE A PURSE THAT MATCHES MY NECKLACE

THE NECKLACE ALSO MATCHES THE PURSE

IT WORKS IN BOTH DIRECTIONS

Posted in a lot, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

dead mall

April 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Like most kids who grow up in the suburbs, when I was a kid,  I fetishized the mall, like just so deeply and badly needed to get a ride there so I could get my cartilage pierced at Claires or eat a cookie the size of my face or just walk through racks of low-rise pants that didn’t fit me. It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but I am somehow calmed by rows and shelves of Things, organized neatly by color and size. Since I fixated on Malls so much when I was young, I am really disturbed by the fact that they are now dying, so much so that there is now a term for the abandoned or nearly abandoned spaces, ‘dead mall.’ There’s even a term for the abandoned large hub of the mall, the JCPenney’s or Dillards or Sears: that gaping pit emptiness is called a ‘ghostbox.’ There needs to be a word for what I’m feeling — this sense that I am inside of slowly changing world — a world that is moving so fast I barely notice the changes — but every now and then, when I pause, I glimpse the change and it makes my skin buzz and my stomach sink. What is this feeling? Futuresense? Changefeel? DEADMALL?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, memories, tout, trying too hard, words | No Comments »

the rewrite

April 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m in the middle of re-working a movie I wrote a few years ago. Rewriting pulls out the lose threads of my brain and makes everything, my Face, my Self, the World, feel unstable and wrong. WERE I TO SELECT AN IMAGE, IT IN FACT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THIS:

Imagine each piece of yarn is either a character or moment or my own self-loathing and doubt or a TIGHT FRENCH BRAID OF ALL OF IT. The goal, of course, after a certain amount of wading through and tripping over and choking on the mess, is this:

And then naturally, this.

Posted in YAY, a lot, silly, sucking, tout, trying too hard, whining, words | No Comments »

scriptpiphanies

April 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I would just like to formally apologize to every actor who came to callbacks for The Cake last night for how much I was frantically writing during every read. If I were you, I would of course assume that I was making a long list of everything that was annoying about my body and voice and just me as a human, in general. But actually,  when a playwright sits in on auditions for their play, suddenly all of the emotional holes in the scenes become clear, and the playwright must frantically write these holes downs along with any ideas re: how to fix them before they escape. Unfortunately sometimes this must happen while an actor is beautifully emoting. Basically La La Land is a documentary, and sometimes, I AM THE VILLAIN IN THE ROOM I’M SORRY.

Posted in a lot, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, tout, trying too hard, words, working | No Comments »

He can / I can’t

March 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes I forget that Morrison can dance his face off like a love interest in an movie a la good ol’ Bing Crosby days. He studied ballroom dance in high school, and so when the right song is on, he morphs from gentle giant who prefers to not draw attention to himself,  to SLICK AND ALLURING DANCING SWAN MAN. The footwork alone is insane and he busts it out at dance parties like a secret trick. People tend to watch. And when this happens, sometimes I just watch him, too,  with a big stupid smile on my face, as it’s sort of a thing from a dream, having a man who not only CAN dance, but WANTS to. I can usually get away with a bit of objective staring, until he pulls me up to dance with him, at which point I promptly step on his feet, at which point he spins me around,  and which point I fall on my face laughing like a kid on one of those spinny things, at which point he catches me.

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, boys, i am lucky, trying too hard | No Comments »

how to prepare for international travel

March 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

1.) Research place.

2.) Purchase tickets.

3.) RESEARCH EVERY POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD GO WRONG IN SAID PLACE, OR JUST IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY IN GENERAL,  AND THOROUGHLY CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT EACH OF THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU AS IF YOUR LIFE IS ACTUALLY A MOVIE WRITTEN BY AN GRADUATE SCREENWRITING STUDENT WHO BELIEVES THAT SOMETHING TERRIBLE MUST HAPPEN ON EVERY PAGE BUT WHO ALSO HAS A KEEN SENSE OF IRONY AND SO THE CHARACTER GOES INTO THE SITUATION BELIEVING THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE BUT THEN BAM THEY ARE PUNISHED FOR THEIR IGNORANCE VIA LOST PASSPORTS AND FLOODS!

4. Hey, take a breath. Remember you are lucky to go at all, and that this is what life is for. Experiencing another culture broadens your understanding of humans and

5. REMIND YOURSELF NOT TO RE-APPROPRIATE OTHER PEOPLES’ CULTURES FOR YOUR OWN GROWTH

6. Buy an absurd amount of gum as if gum does not exist in other countries.

7. GO ON YOUR TRIP, PSYCHO.

Posted in YAY, a lot, optimism, silly, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, vacay's, worrying | No Comments »

with alacrity

March 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I woke up REALLY needing to find a picture of the book I learned words from as a kid, and HERE IT BE:

I think this was all of elementary school, opening this owl and shoving its contents into my head. I was always good at memorizing, not so much internalizing. And so when my vocabulary sort of froze at the age, of, what, 24? Is that when the brain stops growing? I ended up with a moderate but far from impressive collection of words. I know no fancy synonyms for moderate or impressive. For a writer, my arsenal is limited. When I read I do so with Dictionary. But every now and then, I meet a word that I like, and it sticks in my head like gum I can’t see. And so I try and trot it out, and it’s usually awkward like trying to make a friend as a grown up, HOW IS YOUR LIFE TODAY, PERSON? But if I persevere (a word that I know ONLY because I have a cousin named Perseverance) I can normalize it and stop saying it surrounded by question marks, like I’m on stage at a spelling bee. And so today, I declare to you, I will use my new words with alacrity, which is just a sharp and beautiful little word that I always say in my normal life, by which I mean, with willingness and cheerfulness.

Posted in YAY, a lot, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, words | No Comments »

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