bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

CORRECTION

July 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Every theater company doing The Cake, in all of their marketing materials: WE ARE SO PROUD TO PRESENT THIS PLAY, WRITTEN BY THE HEAD WRITER AND CREATOR AND SOLE BRAIN BEHIND THIS IS US!

Me, frantically: IT’S NOT ME I’M JUST ONE OF THE WRITER’S I DID NOT CREATE PLZ ADJUST IMMEDIATELY

Theater Company:……?

Me: IT’S JUST THAT SERIOUSLY, I AM REALLY IN NO WAY IN CHARGE AND IF MY BOSSES SAW THIS I WOULD DIE

Theater Company: But can we tell everyone that you are?

Me: PLEASE DON’T

Theater Company: But what if we just let people BELIEVE that you are, so as to sell tickets?

Me: I FEEL ASHAMED

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, I write for television?, I'M SO EXCITED, lies, life, trying too hard, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

draft two

June 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, writing my first draft: DID I INVENT WRITING? WOW. NO ONE HAS EVER WRITTEN LIKE THIS. NO ONE HAS EVER EVEN SEEN THE WORLD LIKE THIS. I AM A SPECIAL, MAGIC UNICORN WITH A SECRET. BUT I’M NOT EVEN A UNICORN. UNICORNS ARE BASIC. I AM A NEW BEING, WITH WINGS STUFFED WITH TREASURES MADE OF WORDS. GOSH, IT SURE IS COZY HERE INSIDE OF THIS GIANT TRAPPER KEEPER FORMED FROM MY OWN NARCISSISM.

(I get notes, I shrink back to earth.)

Me, writing my second draft:

What are words?

Who are people?

Who am I?

WHAT IS PLAY

Posted in a lot, the writing of drama plays, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

moment catcher

May 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I promise that tomorrow I’ll return to regular coverage of my weird bad dreams, but just one more time, Tulum. I love this picture I took:

These two dudes (whom the girls sitting across from us noted had ‘extreme Dothraki vibes’) were just spinning around on the roof of this nest, reveling in the storm clouds as they moved in. I mean, just before they started spinning, they were taking an absurd amount of panoramic pictures, but then at a certain point, they stopped taking pictures, and just experienced the moment. Enter ME, secretly taking a picture of THEM while they thoroughly inhabited the moment. Is there a business there? You hire someone to secretly capture you in authentic moments, in which you don’t know that your picture is being taken at all? IS THERE?

Wait.

I think I mean photographer.

Yes I do.

I mean photographer.

 

Posted in a lot, boys, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, trying too hard, vacay's, words, YAY | No Comments »

book review

May 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I have a lot of gifts, like roasting nuts, making people feel comfortable, and talking about nuts to make people feel uncomfortable.  Describing WHY I enjoyed something, be it a book or a play or a movie, in any sort of innovative way, is not one of my strengths.  But still, I want you to know that this book I just read — Turner House, about the lives of a family house in Detroit,  spanning 65 years —    is exquisite, and so:

BOOK GOOD.

CHARACTERS GOOD.

WRITING EVEN GOODER.

DID NOT WANT TO PUT DOWN GOOD BOOK.

MADE KNOWLEDGE AND FEELINGS OF HUMANITY; LIFE AFFIRMED BY WORDS IN BOOK, ALSO A FEW LAUGHS, ALSO LEARNED NEW AND DEEP THINGS. BOOK WILL STAY IN HEAD.

GOOD BOOK GOOD.

THANKS FOR RECOMMENDATION, BLAINE. GOOD FRIEND. GOOD BRAIN.

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Posted in a lot, books, hmmmmm, trying too hard, words, YAY | No Comments »

how to water a plant

May 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that I thought I was a plant, like I kept going around telling people that I was one, and no one believed me. This is most likely related to the fact that we recently got some indoor plants, so that while we’re inside of the Box Man Made to keep us out of the Elements, we might still feel like the Elements are all around us. I’ve never been much of a Plant person (EXCEPT FOR IN MY DREAMS, WHEN I AM PLANT) and so all of the tricks to keeping it alive are completely new to me. I asked the garden center person how often to water the plant, and she all but laughed in my face. And then this:

There’s no such thing as a plant watering schedule. If it’s in direct light, give it water sometimes but not too often, only when it seems like it needs water. If it’s in indirect sunlight, also only sometimes give it water, less frequently than all the time, but just occasionally. If it’s not humid and the plant wants to be humid, spray it with water but only when it wants it. If it looks like it doesn’t want it, don’t do it. And ALWAYS FILTERED WATER.

Confusing, specific,  but also somehow vague. Perhaps I — AM PLANT?!

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

good with kids

April 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison is very, very, VERY good with kids, mostly because he takes them seriously and speaks to them like they’re adults, while at the same time, playing into their imaginations. With me,  it’s mostly awkward. (Me: HOW’S YOUR WEEKEND GOING? GET INTO ANY TROUBLE? DO YOU LIKE WINE? AM I TALKING LOUD?)  Yesterday, the school where Morrison TA’s had its (CHARMING; INCREDIBLE) spring carnival, and so naturally, we  played laser tag in a gym with a bunch of kids. At one point, I looked over and saw Morrison doing a slow motion death-roll on the ground while two little girls in pigtails stood over him, casually shooting him point blank. That fact on its own is NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS STORY.

Waiting in line to enter, we decided to form an alliance with four other kids. The plan was to hole up behind the big pile of Mats in the Northwest corner of the room. We got our guns, the room went dark, and we ran to our station. But as I lept behind mats next to Morrison, one kid looks at me skeptically.

Kid: Who’s that?

Morrison: It’s okay. She’s safe.

Me (to kid): I’m your wife!

The kid just looks at me.

Kid: Wait, what?

Me: Oh, wait, no, I meant —

Morrison: She’s MY wife.

Me: I’m HIS wife! Hahahaha! You don’t have a wife! That’d be weird. I promise I’m not your wife. Hahahahaha! I’m an adult!

Kid:…..okay……?

The kid returned to the game, only to turn on me ten minutes later, like this:

Kid: (innocently) How many lives do you have left?

Me: I’m not sure, how can I tell?

Kid: (brightly): Lemmee see your gun!

I hold it out to him, and he SHOOTS ME POINT BLANK.

Me: What the hell?!

Kid: (shrugging) ….friendly fire.

Me: HEY. THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR WIFE.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, kids, silly, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

All I wanna do, is plate some food

March 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes (all of the time) (particularly when I’m on hiatus) there is nothing more satisfying than spending way too much time preparing and plating dinner, like even pulling out the fun plates and placemats and napkins from the wedding registry that you thought you’d never use, and then laying it all out and presenting it to your husband like a five year old who cleaned their room but really just put their pillow on their bed. I PRESENT TO YOU, almond crusted rainbow trout with sides of swiss chard and my deep need to be complimented!

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., trying too hard, working, YAY | No Comments »

People, and how they do different Things

March 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday’s flight back from NC a.) had no internet or screens to speak of and b.) was TURBULENT AF and so I was forced to confront my (completely unfounded and odd) sometimes fear of TALKING TO THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. (What if you get trapped in the conversation? How does the conversation end? Neither of you can walk away. What if someone says something awkward and unfortunate and then you just had to sit their breathing each other’s air, passing each other’s trash to the flight attendant, stepping over each other and lightly grazing each other’s laptops with each others butts for the next 100 hours? WHAT IF YOU ARE BORING, OR THEY OR BORING, OR PROBABLY YOU ARE BOTH BORING?) But talk I did, and I’m glad I did.

Nice older man next to me: So, what do you do?

Me: I’m a writer.

Man: That’s cool, what kind?

Me: TV!

Man: THAT IS SO COOL!

Me: What about you?

Man: I’m an engineer, I fix programs and computer systems for Air Force planes.

Me: THAT IS SO EVEN COOLER!

Man: I think what YOU do is cool!

Me: NO, YOU!

Man: Whatever, YOU!

Me: WANNA BE INTERGENERATIONAL AND INTERDISCIPLINARY FRIENDS?

Man: I can’t right now, I’m stuck on a violently shaking plane

Me: WANNA SPEND THE NEXT FOUR HOURS PRETENDING LIKE THAT’S NOT HAPPENING?

Man: YES

Posted in the whole world, tout, trying too hard, TV, what my friends are doing, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

extent of my knowledge

March 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The news: Trump’s proposed tariffs on steel could potentially hurt American steel makers.

Me: wait, people MAKE steel?

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, things, trying too hard | No Comments »

and then a hero comes alongggggggg

February 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on Heroes in pearls, Mona Charen:

 I can’t say that I knew anything about this woman before she made news for speaking out against Trump at the CPAC, and also, I can’t say that I knew what the CPAC stood for. (The Conservative Political Action Conference. Now you know, too! ACRONYMS!) I can’t speak to her life in politics or her beliefs before this moment, tho I do now want to read her books. All I can say is that this woman, sitting amongst a handful of other conservative women, on a panel about the me too movement, dared to speak her truth.

I’d been dreading it for days, but when it came, I almost welcomed it. There is nothing more freeing than telling the truth. And it must be done, again and again, by those of us who refuse to be absorbed into this brainless, sinister, clownish thing called Trumpism, by those of us who refuse to overlook the fools, frauds and fascists attempting to glide along in his slipstream into respectability. I spoke to a hostile audience for the sake of every person who has watched this spectacle of mendacity in disbelief and misery for the past two years. Just hearing the words you know are true can serve as ballast, steadying your mind when so much seems unreal.

She had the courage and confidence to separate her conservative values from what Trump has decided are conservative values, and she sees a need for honesty and clarity as opposed to vitriol. She doesn’t just fault liberal values, she calls hypocrisy when she sees it, and she longs for a middle ground. More of this mindset, please. I CALL DIBS ON HER BIO PIC, WHICH MIGHT BE TWO HOURS OF HER CHEWING ON A PEN AND TYPING ON HER LAPTOP, BUT STILL: DIBS.

Posted in a lot, factual smarts, famous people stuff, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, life, politics, trying too hard, women, words | No Comments »

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