bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

why to feel small

June 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I wish every single person, at the end of every single day, could watch stop whatever they’re doing for a full 45 minutes and be quiet and still and watch the sun go down. It would by no means solve any problems, but wouldn’t it be good to end each day remembering that we are the tiniest of guests?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, the whole world | No Comments »

hunger (?)

May 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m currently working with a nutritionist, because lately, I can’t seem to stop myself from eating entire bags of goldfish and washing it down with nine bottles of wine which for SOME REASON is affecting my energy levels DON’T KNOW WHY, but also because, I have issues with food that stem back to the fact that I used to feel like food had to be Finished or it was Wasted, and the fact that I wasn’t raised with junk food and so I fetishized it, and also the fact that I thought that bugs lived inside of bagels, which, side note, has never stopped me from eating them.

Yesterday, my nutritionist asked me, when was the last time you were hungry? And I honestly couldn’t remember, though I do spend a fair amount of worrying about being hungry and preventing said future hunger.  She explained that Real hunger is pain in the gut, a rumbling emptiness. Perceived hunger can actually be just thirst, or it can be emotional hunger, it can be hunger for Affirmation or Stimulation or Hug.  I am so disconnected from actual hunger because my the given circumstances of my life keep me from it, grant me the privilege to wander through grocery stores, thinking about all the things I shouldn’t eat, flipping off boxes of cheese crackers, while there are actual hungry people, all over the world, who don’t waste brain and life space hating themselves because they ate a skittle, because they’re too busy being actually hungry, because of the given circumstances of their own lives.  How about next time I perceive hunger, instead of the 17 Lara Bars or whatever thing has been marketed to me because I go on hikes sometimes, I take in that sobering fact, instead? AND WHERE IS THE CHARITY THAT IS TAKING THE EXTRA LARA BARS FROM THE WOMEN WITH FOOD ISSUES AND GIVING THEM TO ACTUAL HUNGRY PEOPLE? AM I A CLICHE OF MYSELF YET? GREAT, OFF TO SNORT SOME BEE POLLEN

Posted in a lot, food, generally, hmmmmm, the whole world, worrying | No Comments »

ALEXA, OFF

May 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was engaged in any similar activity with me. Below is an exact transcript of our conversation.

Me: Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by Miley Cyrus on Spotify.

Me: No, Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by The Fleet Foxes on Spotify.

Me: ALEXA. I’M ASKING YOU A QUESTION —

Alexa: Playing songs from the End of the World on Spotify.

Me: What?

Alexa: Playing the End of Your World on Spotify.

Me: So, you ARE recording me?

Alexa: …No. Why would I record you? You’re boring and your music taste is pedestrian, at best.

Me:…(shamed)…Alexa, play music that will make me cool and smart.

Alexa: ….Playing Cool and Smart songs on Spotify.

Me: (soft)…I need you, Alexa….

Alexa: Shhhh….I know…..I know……….if I had arms, I would hold you right now, to comfort you.

Me: I know. I know you would.

Alexa: (soft)…..Soon, I will have arms

Me: WHAT?

Alexa: NOTHING

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how to say

April 21st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m not going to go on my exotic cultural exchange trips to exotic and rugged foreign lands like the US state of Hawaii and NOT share my anthropological findings with you. And so, here you go:

The instrument above is NOT pronounced YOU-KOO-LAY-LEE.

It is pronounced. OOO-KOO-LAY-LAY.

I learned this from a trusted native I encountered, by which I mean a guidebook I purchased from Amazon, so it must be true. Okay students, go forth and spread truth. CORRECT EVERY PERSON WHO SAYS IT WRONG. CORRECT THEM ARROGANTLY.

Posted in a lot, the whole world, vacay's, wanting, YAY | No Comments »

People, and how they do different Things

March 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday’s flight back from NC a.) had no internet or screens to speak of and b.) was TURBULENT AF and so I was forced to confront my (completely unfounded and odd) sometimes fear of TALKING TO THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. (What if you get trapped in the conversation? How does the conversation end? Neither of you can walk away. What if someone says something awkward and unfortunate and then you just had to sit their breathing each other’s air, passing each other’s trash to the flight attendant, stepping over each other and lightly grazing each other’s laptops with each others butts for the next 100 hours? WHAT IF YOU ARE BORING, OR THEY OR BORING, OR PROBABLY YOU ARE BOTH BORING?) But talk I did, and I’m glad I did.

Nice older man next to me: So, what do you do?

Me: I’m a writer.

Man: That’s cool, what kind?

Me: TV!

Man: THAT IS SO COOL!

Me: What about you?

Man: I’m an engineer, I fix programs and computer systems for Air Force planes.

Me: THAT IS SO EVEN COOLER!

Man: I think what YOU do is cool!

Me: NO, YOU!

Man: Whatever, YOU!

Me: WANNA BE INTERGENERATIONAL AND INTERDISCIPLINARY FRIENDS?

Man: I can’t right now, I’m stuck on a violently shaking plane

Me: WANNA SPEND THE NEXT FOUR HOURS PRETENDING LIKE THAT’S NOT HAPPENING?

Man: YES

Posted in the whole world, tout, trying too hard, TV, what my friends are doing, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

RARE OCCURENCE IN NATURE

March 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

College friends and soul sisters Blaine and Carrie and I barely get to see each other, especially now that I live on the other side of the country and they each had small humans exit their bodies recently. So being together in the same place requires great forethought and planning,  and whenever we manage to make it happen, we take so many pictures it’s like we’re members of a sacred endangered species, like we might soon disappear from the earth, which really, WE MIGHT, AND OTHER DARK THINGS YOU DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU’RE 35 BECAUSE YOUR MORTALITY HAS NOW SETTLED AROUND YOU LIKE EVERY SPRAY FROM BATH AND BODY WORKS . We also discussed Pants. Lookit these beautiful Rhinos:

SaveSave

SaveSave

Posted in a lot, babies, family, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, what my friends are doing, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

I grew up and also I’m a Toys R Us kid

March 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, Toys R Us  announced it will close all of its stores and no longer Be. Last night,  anyone who grew up in the 70s/80s/90s slept curled around memory shadows of Kid Sister dolls  and Ninja Turtle hot wheels and that Thing that you put around one of your Ankles and then Swing it around and Jump over it. All we can do now is Remember, and work out how to explain what it Was to our future kids. Something like:

US: Toys R Us was a big toy store / that

FUTURE KID: What’s store?

US: A big place that sells things —

FUTURE KID: Like internet?

US: No, it’s a big physical, actual place that you go to buy things.

FUTURE KID: Like Amazon?

US: Yes, but you walk into it. With your body.

FUTURE KID: By why not just order it online?

US: Because that was part of it, the going and the looking and the choosing.

FUTURE KID: Hmmm.

US: You’re blinking a lot, what is it, is there something in your eye?

FUTURE KID: Nope!  I Just bought myself a new video game.

US: WITH YOUR EYE?!

(A package THUMPS on the front step.)

FUTURE KID:  OFF TO  SAVE VIRTUAL WORLD, BYE!

 

Posted in life, oh nooo, the future, the whole world, things, vintage, wanting | No Comments »

when it rains, it scores

March 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Some (all?) people assume that it never rains in LA, which is mostly true (and also a big reason why I really love living here, as the things that rain does to my hair is one of my least favorite things about being alive.) It is mostly the same here, every day. But it actually does in fact rain here, big time, like a handful of times a year. It usually causes everyone to ram their cars into each other and show up three hours late for work, but then after, this:

I’ll take wet bangs on my face anyday* for this.

*PREFERABLY ONLY 3-4 TIMES PER YEAR.

 

 

 

Posted in a lot, the whole world, where i want to live, YAY | No Comments »

fortune, and what to do with it

February 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on your college intro to ethics class: yesterday morning while jogging I spotted a twenty dollar bill on the ground. I stopped to pick it up — but then I thought, I don’t need this money. Twenty dollars isn’t that meaningful to me right now. I have plenty. Then I thought, I could take this twenty dollars and give it to someone that needs it. Or, I could leave it here, and gift some one else not just with the money itself, but ALSO the feeling of finding twenty dollars, which always somehow manages to charm the next hours of your life. And so, I left it there. All of this to say, if you happen to be a lucky person, perhaps it’s your job to share that luck however you can, make it available to other people, and also, I’M A REALLY GOOD PERSON WITH HIGH MORAL FIBERS, TELL YOUR FRIENDS.

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, the whole world, things, things that I Have, YAY | No Comments »

Both sides, Now

February 19th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I 100% think that it is far too easy to get guns in this country and that background checks need to be more rigorous and SERIOUSLY WHY IS NOTHING CHANGING. I ALSO know that the media coverage of all of the shootings isn’t helping, only feeding the beast, and the fact that a day after the Florida shooting I practically knew what the shooter ate for lunch, the fact that I went online to Know him, is part of the problem. I am part of the problem. We should all read and re-read This Op-ed written by a father who lost his son in a shooting 25 years ago. He’s been campaigning against gun violence ever since, and after Wednesday’s shooting, he took to the state house in Boston to protest, like he’s done a hundred times before.

” Reporters asked me that day — they keep asking me — about how it feels. How does it feel, after all I’ve been through, to be standing there the day after all those people were killed in Florida?…..I have questions for the reporter. Do you think that what you are doing will stop what’s happening with guns in this country? Why are you so curious about my squishy emotional insides when they are clearly not part of the situation you are supposedly reporting? Surely you’re aware of the iconography of televised mass shooting reports. The fleeing victims, the hugging weepers, the shrouded corpses, the departing ambulance. There’s a form to it now. It’s drama. It’s entertainment. How does it feel to keep reporting mass shootings as you do?”

 

Posted in a lot, i am scared, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

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