bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

FAKE FALL

September 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

TEMPERATURES IN LA HAVE SOARED BELOW 75 TO 68

THE SKY IS SLIGHTLY LESS THAN PERFECTLY JUST SUNNY

THERE IS ONE CLOUD

IT RAINED FOR TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS

TIME TO PRETEND IT’S FALL AND WRAP A SCARF AROUND YOUR HEAD AND DRINK TEA UNTIL YOUR BACK SWEATS OH LOOK THE SUN IS OUT

SURE WISH I WAS NOT WEARING ALL OF THESE PANTS

Posted in ....ew, LA angst, YAY, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

IT’S NOT REAL

September 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch of lipsticks for lunch, then took all of the lipstick crumbs that fell out of your mouth and then rubbed those around your mouth and onto your teeth. I must conclude that when you see a woman with nice looking lipstick that is only on her lips, she has actually just implanted a device in every single other person’s eyes that projects digital color onto the lip part of her face, because there is LITERALLY NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

HOT (GROSS)

August 22nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

LOOK AT MY BODY

IT’S GOT CURVES AND NOT CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES

ALSO IT’S GOT MY INTESTINES INSIDE OF IT

Posted in ....ew, YAY, what i am NOT wearing, women | No Comments »

on if we deserve to even Be

June 28th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes it’s like, oh noooooooo, is the earth going to fry up like an omelette, sizzle and implode, or is the moon going to suddenly shift  and move and tsunami us all into floating underworld corpses, or is an incurable virus going to spread through our vitamin water or is an asteroid going to smack into the planet, raining fire over all the fields and all of the Targets, worry / worry / worry, but then you see that these are are thing:

and then it’s like, no, you right you right, COME AT US, ASTEROID, WE NO LONGER DESERVE TO BE.

Posted in ....ew, YAY, a lot, food, ha, silly | No Comments »

NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE

June 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

There is a part of me that really really hopes that someone calls this number and ten minutes later finds themselves standing on Hollywood Boulevard, SHINING WITH MYSTERIOUS FAMOUS PERSON LIGHT.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, awesome | No Comments »

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN

May 10th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am technically off work right now, and yet my life looks like this:

Because somehow, without the structure of a place to go at an appointed time / a lunch break / work til six / structure that I lament when I have it — I COMPLETELY LOOSE ALL OF MY MIND AND ALSO FORGET HOW TO WRITE WORDS DOWN AND INSTEAD JUST SHOUT AT MYSELF IN RED INK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, whining, working | No Comments »

BEARD BABY

March 1st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I dreamt of a baby with a full beard. Which of course sent me straight to google image search, and the results are just. Equal parts horror and intrigue.

They just.

I just can’t.

But then of course, I did.

Posted in ....ew, YAY, a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, ha, i am scared, kids | No Comments »

SHOTZ SHOTZ (MOZZARELLA) SHOTZ

February 7th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Somebody try and stop me from making these genius shot glasses made of fried mozzarella and stuffed full of marina sauce.

NO SERIOUSLY PLEASE.  SOMEONE TRY AND STOP ME.

Posted in ....ew, ...sports?, awesome, food | No Comments »

Sexy (?)

October 30th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Starting my day before Halloween off ROIGHT, down an internet rabbit hole of unfortunate sexy costumes that just — Why? Favorites:

Sexy Corn:

Sexy Killer Whale:

Sexy Politician:

OH WAIT NO THAT’S AN ACTUAL PERSON THAT IS RUNNING FOR ACTUAL PRESIDENT.

Posted in ....ew, YAY, a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, women | No Comments »

SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH

July 4th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

My Fellow Americans! On this sacred day, 239 years since the thirteen colonies claimed independence from England: LET US CLAIM OUR INDEPENDENCE AT BREAKFAST. Screw you, Kashi cereal and egg white omelette! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, INDIA? THIS IS AMERICA! Count your blessings, that there are Grocery stores, that you have Walls, that there is sugar, that there are pancakes!  Let us eat Bisquick! Let us Shake n Pour pancakes,  stuff them full of  blueberries and strawberries sprayed with growth hormones and dye! Let us douse the whole affair in Cool Whip, whose main ingredients include high fructose corn syrup and patriotism! ASK NOT WHAT YOUR BREAKFAST CAN DO FOR YOU, ASK WHY YOU ARE ALREADY TIRED AND IT’S ONLY JUST AFTER BREAKFAST OKAY SO TAKE A NAP

Posted in ....ew, a lot, awesome, food, ha, history, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky | No Comments »

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