March 23rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
Me: Look at my eyelid. It’s wrinkly and weird.
Me: NO REALLY, LOOK AT MY EYELID.
(I shove my eyelid in his face, marriage style.)
Morrison: Huh. Yeah!
Me: I have an old eyelid!
Morrison: Hey, you look great, though.
Me: I DO?!
Me: You’re just saying that.
Morrison:…Yep! Can I please resume my life, now that I’ve told you what you need to hear?
Me: FINE OKAY BUT MAKE IT QUICK
Posted in ....ew, MAWWAGE., a lot, i am lucky, life, love | No Comments »
March 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
Today on what is right with America, Pizza Hut has released a pair of shoes called pie tops. They sync to your phone, you know, like shoes do, and when you press the tongue of said shoe, it connects to your phone and orders you a pizza, because it’s way too simple to just order a pizza from your phone and it’s just way more fun to lean down and press upon your shoe and make pizza happen and just know for the rest of the day that your foot summoned food. I’d really like to tell you more about them but I really must away and find said shoes in GIANT HUSBAND SIZE.
Posted in ....ew, ...sports?, a lot, fancy, food, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »
February 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
Truth is very elusive these days. I sense more and more that it is not, in fact, found on the internet, but instead inside of oneself. I need to begin a daily deep dive through my belly button, but in the meantime, here is a short list of things I’m absolutely certain of:
-I am alive (most of the time)
- There is goodness (sometimes)
- I love my husband and family
- I always drink slightly more wine than I should
- When I eat asparagus it makes my pee smell weird
- There is gravity
Posted in ....ew, a lot, the whole world | No Comments »
January 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
Surely these are dark times, but we must focus on the GOOD things that have happened in politics during this country’s short life: Lincoln abolished slavery! Roosevelt saved the country from a depression whilst in a wheelchair! Obama was our first black President! And then of course that time someone on the internet photoshopped an accordion between Donald Trump’s hands and then made a video out of it!
FULL VIDEO HERE. YOU OWE IT TO HISTORY TO WATCH.
Posted in ....ew, famous people stuff, history, hmmmmm, i am scared, lies, optimism, politics | No Comments »
November 20th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
An already irate group of theater people got to get EVEN MORE IRATER Friday night when Pence attended Hamilton. He was briefly booed by the audience, but was then given a kind and gracious message by the cast, asking that he, as VP, serve the country’s people. TRUMP THEN TOOK TO TWITTER SCOLDING THE ACTORS, DECLARING THAT THE THEATER IS A SAFE PLACE AND SHAME ON THEM FOR MAKING IT NOT SO. I would like to issue my two prong response that is now surely being felt in every actor and director and playwright there ever was.
1.) SAFE PLACE? OH, BY WHICH YOU MEAN, UNLIKE AMERICA NOW FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, WHO WILL NOW LIVE IN FEAR, YOU BIG DUMMY? YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE JUST AS YOU DO YOUR HAIR EVERY MORNING AS YOU PEEL YOURSELF FROM THE ABSURDIST COLORING BOOK AND STEP INTO YOUR HAIR
2.) I keep mulling over this idea that the theater is a ‘safe place.’ I mean, is it? I mean, sure. Yes. It’s a place where people are meant to come together and hear stories. But also, it’s a place bravery and exploration of difficult ideas. That’s what it should be, especially now. I say we strive to make the theater less safe. Less and less and less until he finds himself in a Box seat and cannot look away. He is forced to see.
Posted in ....ew, a lot, factual smarts, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »
September 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
TEMPERATURES IN LA HAVE SOARED BELOW 75 TO 68
THE SKY IS SLIGHTLY LESS THAN PERFECTLY JUST SUNNY
THERE IS ONE CLOUD
IT RAINED FOR TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS
TIME TO PRETEND IT’S FALL AND WRAP A SCARF AROUND YOUR HEAD AND DRINK TEA UNTIL YOUR BACK SWEATS OH LOOK THE SUN IS OUT
SURE WISH I WAS NOT WEARING ALL OF THESE PANTS
Posted in ....ew, LA angst, YAY, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »
September 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch of lipsticks for lunch, then took all of the lipstick crumbs that fell out of your mouth and then rubbed those around your mouth and onto your teeth. I must conclude that when you see a woman with nice looking lipstick that is only on her lips, she has actually just implanted a device in every single other person’s eyes that projects digital color onto the lip part of her face, because there is LITERALLY NO OTHER EXPLANATION.
Posted in ....ew, a lot, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »
August 22nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
LOOK AT MY BODY
IT’S GOT CURVES AND NOT CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES
ALSO IT’S GOT MY INTESTINES INSIDE OF IT
Posted in ....ew, YAY, what i am NOT wearing, women | No Comments »
June 28th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Sometimes it’s like, oh noooooooo, is the earth going to fry up like an omelette, sizzle and implode, or is the moon going to suddenly shift and move and tsunami us all into floating underworld corpses, or is an incurable virus going to spread through our vitamin water or is an asteroid going to smack into the planet, raining fire over all the fields and all of the Targets, worry / worry / worry, but then you see that these are are thing:
and then it’s like, no, you right you right, COME AT US, ASTEROID, WE NO LONGER DESERVE TO BE.
Posted in ....ew, YAY, a lot, food, ha, silly | No Comments »
June 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
There is a part of me that really really hopes that someone calls this number and ten minutes later finds themselves standing on Hollywood Boulevard, SHINING WITH MYSTERIOUS FAMOUS PERSON LIGHT.
Posted in ....ew, a lot, awesome | No Comments »