bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

why to marry Morrison

July 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on marrying Morrison is perhaps the best thing I’ve ever done, a scene:

I happen upon a spider in the bathroom. I am horrified.

ME: SPIDER!!!!!

Morrison: where?

ME: IN THE BATHROOM!!!

Morrison enters calmly, softly, with a cup and a magazine. Softly, calmly, he kneels next to the spider.

Morrison: Hey, buddy, c’mon. Let’s go. You don’t need to be in here.

Ever so gently, he guides the spider into the cup, and even more gently, he carries and places the spider outside, where it can live its life.

Me: Did you just call the Spider Buddy?

Morrison:  It’s not his fault he’s a spider. It’s just who he is.

SWOON.

Posted in ....ew, MAWWAGE., boys, i am lucky, love | No Comments »

why I need a uniform

May 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes, or, if I’m being honest, ALL OF THE TIME, I spend more time than I should thinking about what I should wear to a thing. I place a lot of value on outside appearances and neglect the interior. It trickles down even to my idea of what clean is. If a kitchen LOOKS clean, it is clean. No dishes in the sink but like quiet, secret pools of old chicken juice pushed under the dishwasher. A while back, I found this letter in a box of things at my parents’ house. I wrote it to Seventeen Magazine when I was 13 or so, for a ‘tell us why you need a Makeover’ type contest.

It is so sad and horrifying that I guess it’s also a little bit funny, but I keep it a picture of it saved on my desktop to remind myself that there’s some part of me that, for whatever reason, was trapped in this shallow loop at a young age, and that now I am an adult, and I can step out of this loop and just be a person who just wears the same thing every day, a uniform over her thoughts.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, silly, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

how to drink a unicorn

April 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on AMERICA YOU RIDICULOUS BEAST: for a limited time, at limited locations, Starbucks is now serving UNICORN FRAPPUCINOS.

They describe it as  ”made with a sweet dusting of pink powder, blended into a crème Frappuccino with mango syrup and layered with a pleasantly sour blue drizzle. It is finished with vanilla whipped cream and a sprinkle of sweet pink and sour blue powder topping.” A part of me is like,  this is everything that is wrong with the entire world. And then of course the other part of me takes THAT part of me / turns it into whimsical crystalized sugar / shoves it up my nose / starts jogging through the night to Canada to get in line for a ‘FLAVOR-CHANGING’ UNICORN THAT YOU CAN DRINK.

Posted in ....ew, YAY, a lot, hmmmmm, worrying | No Comments »

I spy with my little sty

April 14th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

So for weeks there’s been weird stuff going on with my left eye that has finally morphed into a sty monster of sorts.  And for all of these weeks, I have been pretty much completely ignoring the accumulating symptoms, other than occasionally noting them to Morrison. Instead I have been worrying and obsessing about much grander things.  I am so consumed by thoughts about large things that are basically out of my control that I neglect to notice something happening right in front of me, or rather,  on my face. I’m using my eyes to take in data that I turn into worry and stress and I don’t even stop for a moment to take stock of the faulty equipment. I’m sure that Buddha or Gwyneth Paltrow has some fine reflective phrase about this. Probably something like: take care of your physical self so that you’re able to face (or even SEE) the storms ahead of you, imagined or otherwise.

Posted in ....ew, things that I Have, tout, whining | No Comments »

HAPPY DAY OF AMERICAN CRUELTY DAY

April 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Posted in ....ew, YAY, awesome, food, generally, ha | No Comments »

what you need to hear

March 23rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: Look at my eyelid. It’s wrinkly and weird.

Morrison: Okay?

Me: NO REALLY, LOOK AT MY EYELID.

(I shove my eyelid in his face, marriage style.)

Morrison: Huh. Yeah!

Me: I have an old eyelid!

Morrison: Hey, you look great, though.

Me: I DO?!

Morrison: Yep!

Me: You’re just saying that.

Morrison:…Yep! Can I please resume my life, now that I’ve told you what you need to hear?

Me: FINE OKAY BUT MAKE IT QUICK

Posted in ....ew, MAWWAGE., a lot, i am lucky, life, love | No Comments »

Pie tops!

March 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today on what is right with America, Pizza Hut has released a pair of shoes called pie tops. They sync to your phone, you know, like shoes do, and when you press the tongue of said shoe, it connects to your phone and orders you a pizza, because it’s way too simple to just order a pizza from your phone and it’s just way more fun to lean down and press upon your shoe and make pizza happen and just know for the rest of the day that your foot summoned food.  I’d really like to tell you more about them but I really must away and find said shoes in GIANT HUSBAND SIZE.

Posted in ....ew, ...sports?, a lot, fancy, food, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

Things I know to be True

February 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Truth is very elusive these days. I sense more and more that it is not, in fact, found on the internet, but instead inside of oneself. I need to begin a daily deep dive through my belly button, but in the meantime, here is a short list of  things I’m absolutely certain of:

-I am alive (most of the time)

- There is goodness (sometimes)

- I love my husband and family

- I always drink slightly more wine than I should

- When I eat asparagus it makes my pee smell weird

- There is gravity

Posted in ....ew, a lot, the whole world | No Comments »

the good bits

January 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Surely these are dark times, but we must focus on the GOOD things that have happened in politics during this country’s short life: Lincoln abolished slavery! Roosevelt saved the country from a depression whilst in a wheelchair! Obama was our first black President! And then of course that time someone on the internet photoshopped an accordion between Donald Trump’s hands and then made a video out of it!

FULL VIDEO HERE. YOU OWE IT TO HISTORY TO WATCH.

Posted in ....ew, famous people stuff, history, hmmmmm, i am scared, lies, optimism, politics | No Comments »

NOT SAFE PLACE

November 20th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

An already irate group of theater people got to get EVEN MORE IRATER Friday night when Pence attended Hamilton. He was briefly booed by the audience, but was then given a kind and gracious message by the cast, asking that he, as VP, serve the country’s people. TRUMP THEN TOOK TO TWITTER SCOLDING THE ACTORS, DECLARING THAT THE THEATER IS A SAFE PLACE AND SHAME ON THEM FOR MAKING IT NOT SO.  I would like to issue my two prong response that is now surely being felt in every actor and director and playwright there ever was.

1.) SAFE PLACE? OH, BY WHICH YOU MEAN, UNLIKE AMERICA NOW FOR MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, WHO WILL NOW LIVE IN FEAR,  YOU BIG DUMMY? YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE JUST AS YOU DO YOUR HAIR EVERY MORNING AS YOU PEEL YOURSELF FROM THE ABSURDIST COLORING BOOK AND STEP INTO YOUR HAIR

2.) I keep mulling over this idea that the theater is a ‘safe place.’ I mean, is it? I mean, sure. Yes. It’s a place where people are meant to come together and hear stories. But also, it’s a place bravery and exploration of difficult ideas. That’s what it should be, especially now. I say we strive to make the theater less safe. Less and less and less until he finds himself in a Box seat and cannot look away. He is forced to see.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, factual smarts, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

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