bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

it Has to be Hard

December 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like:

Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and / or relationship is.

Me: Yeah but sometimes, it has to be Hard. 

And ever since, he likes to repeat my own words back to me, when it in fact gets Hard, because of course, sometimes it does. I think what I was trying to say is that I didn’t want to feel like we were just in a relationship because it was easy. I wanted us to choose to be together, despite the Hard stuff. And for the last year,  there has been some Hard stuff. I mean, also the good stuff, like there is House and Family and Most Perfect Cat, there are blessings of Intellect, Careers, Curiosity, and Christmas Lights, and good lord, don’t get me started on microwavable breakfast sausage. But also: we want to be parents, and we are not. (YET.) And that has been Hard. Not knowing why not has been Hard, waiting has been Hard, watching it happen for other people has been Hard.  Yesterday, I underwent a (very routine) procedure (that I will try very hard not to be overdramatic about)  to correct some issues that turns out have been, well, making it Hard for us to conceive (THANK YOU, SCIENCE. MEDICINE? SCIENCE. I DON’T KNOW. I WRITE PLAYS.) And now, on the other side of it, we’re hopeful that 2019 will make us parents, rob us of sleep, turn our home into a teething ring, and other beautifully Hard things that I will surely complain about, PERHAPS EVEN HERE.  And I really can’t wait for that Hard stuff. Because, I mean, a wise Bekah once said, not really realizing what she was saying, or that it would echo through her heart for years to come: IT HAS TO BE HARD. I know for a fact that whenever a small person takes over my body and subsequently, our home, I will appreciate it harder, because it was Hard. So I’m just going to focus, Hard, on that fact.

 

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

why je vote

November 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Digging through a drawer for stickers the other day (YES I AM A 36 YO WOMAN WITH A MODEST STICKER COLLECTION MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS) I found this old  mailer, from my Dad’s first Senate campaign:

When I was in high school and college I had this mindset about politics that I’m now ashamed of. I had my literal Father in government. I felt like, my Dad is worrying about all of that. (Which, believe you me, he was.)   I was fortunate enough to not feel directly affected by who was elected, what laws were passed, as I was healthy and fed. (Still am.) I instead chose to focus on and worry about the work and people and problems that were right in front of me, which, btw, I still feel is a good way to live. But it can’t stop there. That sort of selfishness feels inexcusable, these days.  Not caring about things that don’t affect you directly is not only undemocratic, it’s not very Christian, if not inhumane. I care about the health and dignity and rights of everyone, because empathy. My parents taught me empathy. Church taught me empathy. The world, every day, solidifies what’s been there, since I was kid.  DO YOU EVEN EMPATHIZE, BRO? GO GET YOUR STICKER.

 

Posted in a lot, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Parenting

October 20th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison and I hope to become parents soon, and so basically everything I see and do and experience feels like a preview of that future life. And so after spending  the morning carefully clipping browned leaves off of my ‘traumatized Dracaena’ (?) and reading about how I probably poisoned it with saline, like how did I even do that, has the Plant been sneaking out to  snort table salt with his friends while we sleep, and do we need to set boundaries for the Plant?, and deciding to only give it BOTTLED water going forward, but like the expensive kind? and Lord does it add up, what with the constant wanting of new Clothes and the saving for College — I can predict that I will be a nervous, loving parent who gives terrible haircuts, then apologizes.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, the future, things, things that I Have | No Comments »

Hey life: you’re cool

October 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

SO: In 2012, Colorado newlyweds Charlie Craig and David Mullins were denied a wedding cake, which inspired me to write a play, which ultimately led to me spending five years of my life talking about Cake, which 30 years in the future, I will fondly reflect back on as ‘Cake Years,’ and please let there still be real cake then and not just ‘cake icon’ that I scan into my nose through my facewatch. In September 2018, Charlie and Craig  went to see a production of the Cake in Denver, Colorado.

After the performance, they and the lawyer who first defended them participated in a talk-back with the audience. I’m sure it must have been surreal for them, especially since I’m sure they’re sick of hearing and talking about this thing that became much larger than they ever intended it to be, but — my hope is that it gave them some hope, or at least some permission to laugh about the absurdity of a Cake being so brutally divisive.  Isn’t playmaking the weirdest, and the most best? Thank you, Charlie and David, for your pain, thank you for letting me twist it and shape it into something that hopefully hurts less.

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays | No Comments »

when life pulls you inside

September 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

We were filming in a residential neighborhood Friday, and on our lunch break, I decided to power walk around it, to make up for all of the 27 tiny snickers bars I stress-ate between shots. As I stress-walked, I stress-thought about all of the things I needed to do, all of the undone things, both immediate and future, we need a lamp for the living room and I need to rewrite that movie and when will I become a pregnant person, and DID I fracture a rib when I face planted while stress-jogging last weekend, or what is that pain near my heart, is it just heart-pain? Or is it a slowly breaking heart? Then suddenly, a voice from a door, an old, sweet voice. It was a tiny old woman, pleading with me from her front step:  please come over, please come inside, I need your help. I went right over, and she kept pleading with me, lost and close to tears,  I need something, I don’t know what it is, but I need you to tell the neighbor, I already told her son, but I can’t remember why, I — her nurse stood behind her, with an over it look that infuriated me — it’s good that you’re here, she’s not authorized to — and I need someone to know, so it’s good that you know. I just need to get to my chair. Please help me get to my chair. And she took my hand, and I helped her inside, into an untouched living room, that she once lived in but now did not recognize, and we got her onto the couch. She took a few breaths. It’s good you’re here. It’s okay, now. You can go. But you come back, any time. Leave your address. I got her name, told her mine, and left. My walk back to work was thoughtful and present and slow. All stress, gone. All I could think of was how incredible it is it be trusted, and that there are people, and that they trust each other, and that they get old and no one sees them anymore, that the young people whir around them worrying about things they can’t control, that they stand lost in their own doorways, waiting for a young person to pass by.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, life, the future, the whole world, tout | No Comments »

ALEXA, OFF

May 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was engaged in any similar activity with me. Below is an exact transcript of our conversation.

Me: Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by Miley Cyrus on Spotify.

Me: No, Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by The Fleet Foxes on Spotify.

Me: ALEXA. I’M ASKING YOU A QUESTION —

Alexa: Playing songs from the End of the World on Spotify.

Me: What?

Alexa: Playing the End of Your World on Spotify.

Me: So, you ARE recording me?

Alexa: …No. Why would I record you? You’re boring and your music taste is pedestrian, at best.

Me:…(shamed)…Alexa, play music that will make me cool and smart.

Alexa: ….Playing Cool and Smart songs on Spotify.

Me: (soft)…I need you, Alexa….

Alexa: Shhhh….I know…..I know……….if I had arms, I would hold you right now, to comfort you.

Me: I know. I know you would.

Alexa: (soft)…..Soon, I will have arms

Me: WHAT?

Alexa: NOTHING

Posted in a lot, i am scared, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

I’M OFFRAID

May 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I’ve previously noted in this space, I like to discover things a year or two after every one has, so that I might burst into a room like, HAVE YOU GUYS TRIED AVOCADO ON TOAST?! IT IS LIT! Only to discover that everyone has been eating avocado toast and calling it Lit for at least five years. Most recently on this list of ‘discoveries:’ I’ve finally started watching the Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. Honestly when it first came out, I watched the first few, and was unable to casually hang with genital mutilation on a school night. But I kept hearing how incredible it is, and so nevertheless she persisted, and I must say, it is stunning (and disturbing) and brilliant (and nightmare giving.) Now that I’m all caught up, I have to wait FIVE DAYS to see what will happen to dear Offred next. I’M SO OFFRAID FOR HER / AM I FIRST ONE TO SAY THIS? NO? WE’VE ALL BEEN SAYING THIS FOR TWO YEARS? WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

SaveSave

Posted in the future, TV, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

CAKE FOR EVERYONE, EVER

March 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Something insane and wonderful is happening. The Cake is being produced everywhere all of the time, or least, getting more productions of a single play than I have ever had in my career. (Also, I counted, and I’ve been working as a playwright for 12 years, so I feel like I can now make sweeping declarations and end them with, ‘in my career.’) I feel like this wonderful thing might never happen again, and so I feel like celebrating / documenting, sharing when and where the play is happening, and also sharing ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES OF CAKES / HAVE FUN LICKING YOUR SCREEN.

April 8-May 20 2018 in Chicago, Rivendell Theater

June 6-24 2018 at Tantrum Theater in Dublin, Ohio

June 1-July 1 2018 at The Alley Theater in Houston, TX, with Faith Prince reprising the roll of Della! There’s no poster yet, so here’s our happy mugs:

June 21-July 15 2018  in the Berkshires, at Barrington Stage

July 6-29th 2018 at the Contemporary American Theater Festival in West Virginia

September 10-October 21st 2018 atthe Geffen in LA! Re-mount of the best OG production there ever was, staring these fine folk:

2019 DON’T BE HUNGRY GRL, YOU GET CAKE TOO.

April 5-28th 2019 at Asolo Rep in Sarasota, Florida

Feb 6-March 10th 2019 at Salt Lake Acting Company in Salt Lake City, Utah

AND THEN SOME OTHER EXCITING PLACES THAT I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO SHARE YET.  This is the first play I’ve written that I’ve truly felt that people need to see.  I think I somehow managed to write something healing, which we so badly need right now. It’s not a perfect play, it will need to change as I change, as the world changes, but — I put something good out there, which is all I can try to do. And the fact that so many people are going to see it my attempt at Good makes me so happy that my insides are carrot cake, my skin is cream cheese frosting, my heart is a walnut tucked deep inside.

Posted in a lot, fancy, food, horn tooting, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, things that I Have, tout, words, working, YAY | No Comments »

I grew up and also I’m a Toys R Us kid

March 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, Toys R Us  announced it will close all of its stores and no longer Be. Last night,  anyone who grew up in the 70s/80s/90s slept curled around memory shadows of Kid Sister dolls  and Ninja Turtle hot wheels and that Thing that you put around one of your Ankles and then Swing it around and Jump over it. All we can do now is Remember, and work out how to explain what it Was to our future kids. Something like:

US: Toys R Us was a big toy store / that

FUTURE KID: What’s store?

US: A big place that sells things —

FUTURE KID: Like internet?

US: No, it’s a big physical, actual place that you go to buy things.

FUTURE KID: Like Amazon?

US: Yes, but you walk into it. With your body.

FUTURE KID: By why not just order it online?

US: Because that was part of it, the going and the looking and the choosing.

FUTURE KID: Hmmm.

US: You’re blinking a lot, what is it, is there something in your eye?

FUTURE KID: Nope!  I Just bought myself a new video game.

US: WITH YOUR EYE?!

(A package THUMPS on the front step.)

FUTURE KID:  OFF TO  SAVE VIRTUAL WORLD, BYE!

 

Posted in life, oh nooo, the future, the whole world, things, vintage, wanting | No Comments »

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