bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

ALEXA, OFF

May 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A couple in Oregon reported that their Alexa, unbeknownst to them, recorded a piece of their conversation and emailed it to one of their work colleagues. I decided to ask my Alexa if she was engaged in any similar activity with me. Below is an exact transcript of our conversation.

Me: Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by Miley Cyrus on Spotify.

Me: No, Alexa, are you recording me?

Alexa: Playing songs by The Fleet Foxes on Spotify.

Me: ALEXA. I’M ASKING YOU A QUESTION —

Alexa: Playing songs from the End of the World on Spotify.

Me: What?

Alexa: Playing the End of Your World on Spotify.

Me: So, you ARE recording me?

Alexa: …No. Why would I record you? You’re boring and your music taste is pedestrian, at best.

Me:…(shamed)…Alexa, play music that will make me cool and smart.

Alexa: ….Playing Cool and Smart songs on Spotify.

Me: (soft)…I need you, Alexa….

Alexa: Shhhh….I know…..I know……….if I had arms, I would hold you right now, to comfort you.

Me: I know. I know you would.

Alexa: (soft)…..Soon, I will have arms

Me: WHAT?

Alexa: NOTHING

Posted in a lot, i am scared, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

I’M OFFRAID

May 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I’ve previously noted in this space, I like to discover things a year or two after every one has, so that I might burst into a room like, HAVE YOU GUYS TRIED AVOCADO ON TOAST?! IT IS LIT! Only to discover that everyone has been eating avocado toast and calling it Lit for at least five years. Most recently on this list of ‘discoveries:’ I’ve finally started watching the Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. Honestly when it first came out, I watched the first few, and was unable to casually hang with genital mutilation on a school night. But I kept hearing how incredible it is, and so nevertheless she persisted, and I must say, it is stunning (and disturbing) and brilliant (and nightmare giving.) Now that I’m all caught up, I have to wait FIVE DAYS to see what will happen to dear Offred next. I’M SO OFFRAID FOR HER / AM I FIRST ONE TO SAY THIS? NO? WE’VE ALL BEEN SAYING THIS FOR TWO YEARS? WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN.

SaveSave

Posted in the future, TV, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

CAKE FOR EVERYONE, EVER

March 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Something insane and wonderful is happening. The Cake is being produced everywhere all of the time, or least, getting more productions of a single play than I have ever had in my career. (Also, I counted, and I’ve been working as a playwright for 12 years, so I feel like I can now make sweeping declarations and end them with, ‘in my career.’) I feel like this wonderful thing might never happen again, and so I feel like celebrating / documenting, sharing when and where the play is happening, and also sharing ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES OF CAKES / HAVE FUN LICKING YOUR SCREEN.

April 8-May 20 2018 in Chicago, Rivendell Theater

June 6-24 2018 at Tantrum Theater in Dublin, Ohio

June 1-July 1 2018 at The Alley Theater in Houston, TX, with Faith Prince reprising the roll of Della! There’s no poster yet, so here’s our happy mugs:

June 21-July 15 2018  in the Berkshires, at Barrington Stage

July 6-29th 2018 at the Contemporary American Theater Festival in West Virginia

September 10-October 21st 2018 atthe Geffen in LA! Re-mount of the best OG production there ever was, staring these fine folk:

2019 DON’T BE HUNGRY GRL, YOU GET CAKE TOO.

April 5-28th 2019 at Asolo Rep in Sarasota, Florida

Feb 6-March 10th 2019 at Salt Lake Acting Company in Salt Lake City, Utah

AND THEN SOME OTHER EXCITING PLACES THAT I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO SHARE YET.  This is the first play I’ve written that I’ve truly felt that people need to see.  I think I somehow managed to write something healing, which we so badly need right now. It’s not a perfect play, it will need to change as I change, as the world changes, but — I put something good out there, which is all I can try to do. And the fact that so many people are going to see it my attempt at Good makes me so happy that my insides are carrot cake, my skin is cream cheese frosting, my heart is a walnut tucked deep inside.

Posted in a lot, fancy, food, horn tooting, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, things that I Have, tout, words, working, YAY | No Comments »

I grew up and also I’m a Toys R Us kid

March 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, Toys R Us  announced it will close all of its stores and no longer Be. Last night,  anyone who grew up in the 70s/80s/90s slept curled around memory shadows of Kid Sister dolls  and Ninja Turtle hot wheels and that Thing that you put around one of your Ankles and then Swing it around and Jump over it. All we can do now is Remember, and work out how to explain what it Was to our future kids. Something like:

US: Toys R Us was a big toy store / that

FUTURE KID: What’s store?

US: A big place that sells things —

FUTURE KID: Like internet?

US: No, it’s a big physical, actual place that you go to buy things.

FUTURE KID: Like Amazon?

US: Yes, but you walk into it. With your body.

FUTURE KID: By why not just order it online?

US: Because that was part of it, the going and the looking and the choosing.

FUTURE KID: Hmmm.

US: You’re blinking a lot, what is it, is there something in your eye?

FUTURE KID: Nope!  I Just bought myself a new video game.

US: WITH YOUR EYE?!

(A package THUMPS on the front step.)

FUTURE KID:  OFF TO  SAVE VIRTUAL WORLD, BYE!

 

Posted in life, oh nooo, the future, the whole world, things, vintage, wanting | No Comments »

Both sides, Now

February 19th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I 100% think that it is far too easy to get guns in this country and that background checks need to be more rigorous and SERIOUSLY WHY IS NOTHING CHANGING. I ALSO know that the media coverage of all of the shootings isn’t helping, only feeding the beast, and the fact that a day after the Florida shooting I practically knew what the shooter ate for lunch, the fact that I went online to Know him, is part of the problem. I am part of the problem. We should all read and re-read This Op-ed written by a father who lost his son in a shooting 25 years ago. He’s been campaigning against gun violence ever since, and after Wednesday’s shooting, he took to the state house in Boston to protest, like he’s done a hundred times before.

” Reporters asked me that day — they keep asking me — about how it feels. How does it feel, after all I’ve been through, to be standing there the day after all those people were killed in Florida?…..I have questions for the reporter. Do you think that what you are doing will stop what’s happening with guns in this country? Why are you so curious about my squishy emotional insides when they are clearly not part of the situation you are supposedly reporting? Surely you’re aware of the iconography of televised mass shooting reports. The fleeing victims, the hugging weepers, the shrouded corpses, the departing ambulance. There’s a form to it now. It’s drama. It’s entertainment. How does it feel to keep reporting mass shootings as you do?”

 

Posted in a lot, i am scared, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

MARVELOUS HUMANS, ALL

February 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The happiest of openings to the Cast (and some Creative) of La Jolla Playhouse’s The Cake! From R to L: Aubrey Dollar as Jen, Miriam Hymann as Macy, Director Casey Stangl, mennonite girl on her Rumspringa daring to wear a fake leather jacket / playwright Bekah Brunstetter, Wayne Duvall as Tim, Faith Prince as Della, and on your farthest Left, Guy who Travelled from the Future to Deliver us a Message that we never Received because we were Taking Too Many Pictures.

Posted in a lot, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, YAY | No Comments »

Retirement Home

February 2nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Dear Owner(s) of this whimsical cottage on the ocean:

I hope you are have a nice life and enjoying your beautiful home etc etc etc, but if you could please be ready to sell by approximately 2043 that would work great for me. In the meantime try not to touch or change anything, unless of course it involves somehow figuring out a way to include a large garden where I could grow seasonal squash varietals and snap peas, but also you know, enjoy yourselves, make memories in my future house, etc etc and so forth.

Posted in the future, things, Uncategorized, where i want to live, YAY | No Comments »

I know not my age

January 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Like most humans, I like to assume that everyone I see and interact with is vastly older or younger than me, so that my own age remains a fixed, untouchable thing, so that I might eat gummy bears forever. And so last night, while re-watching A Chef’s Life for the 900th time (Vivian Howard’s beautiful docuseries about food and farming in Eastern North Carolina) I hunkered down to learn about cabbage, and met this fine fellow, Sam Jones, who runs Skylight BBQ in Ayden, NC:

He taught Vivian how to make their famed coleslaw (hint, it’s buckets of sugar.) After, the two of them chatted about their parents, their work ethic. In my head I’m thinking, what a wise, humble, hardworking man in his mid to late 40s. And then he says, I always told myself I’d never be a person who let my work run my life, and here I am, 34 years old, and I can’t even turn it off. THIS MAN IS, IN FACT, YOUNGER THAN MYSELF.

As for Queen Vivian, I do think I know how old she is, but I won’t discuss it, as she is flawless /  ageless / glorious / inspiring / WILL LIVE FOREVER, but I will say she is slightly older than me, so I can say I want to be her when I grow up, which inevitably will happen someday.

Posted in famous people stuff, food, generally, ha, the future | No Comments »

t’aint always easy

January 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Almost 14 years ago, I carefully glued all of my grad school rejection letters into a scrapbook, and amused myself by highlighting the word ‘regret’ in all of them. I think I sensed that someday, I might want to reflect back on them. My two favorites:

Reflection day is upon me. I am currently experiencing a lot of fortune with the Cake, like really more than a playwright could dream of or hope for (though honestly the bar is low, as having a play produced, in itself, is a miracle.) Meanwhile, I  somehow winded up working on a hit show that is managing to heal and to warm those that watch it (though, so did Switched at Birth, just on a smaller scale.) Reflecting on both of these career fortunes it’s easy to forget all of the Regret to inform You’s, but  I want to remember them and celebrate them, and I don’t know, maybe just a hair bit Gloat? So without further ado, I was rejected from: Columbia graduate Playwriting! NYU Graduate Playwriting! Yale Graduate Playwriting! Boston College MFA Playwriting! Post-grad school, I was rejected not once, not twice, but three times from Julliard, with nary even an interview, and I’ve been rejected by New Dramatists (an elite playwriting residency in NYC)  count ’em, 7 times! STILL STANDING, Y’ALL! WHAT DOESN’T ACCEPT US TO THEIR PROGRAM MAKES US WORK HARDER TO SHOW THEM WHAT.

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, life, narcissism, oh nooo, silly, the future, the writing of drama plays, trying too hard, TV, YAY | No Comments »

no phone, who dis

January 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Let’s not goes as far as to call the following a resolution, let’s just call it an observation aimed at self-change. A few weeks ago, while waiting for five years worth of pictures of babies and feet to transfer from my old phone to my new phone at the Verizon store, I found myself phone-less for four hours. I had a few errands to run, but after I’d run them, there will STILL more pictures of buildings and salads to transfer over (I KNOW, I KNOW, I NEED THE CLOUD / WHAT IS THE CLOUD)  and so I had an hour or so with nothing to do but wander the mean the streets of Glendale. It’s been noted that us generation phone people experience a weird panic when we don’t have them. I didn’t feel anxious, per-se, but I felt lighter, more aware. As I wandered, I passed by a small storefront, with a tiny old sign, BOOK BINDING. Inside, a workshop filled with papers and sheets of leather and tight wheels of string and ashtrays and half-drunk bottles of red wine. Presiding over all of it, a tiny, focused old man carefully binding a book, which I decided he learned from his Grandfather, and he from His. I watched him do his work for a good ten minutes before he spotted me staring. He looked into my soul, not my camera roll, but my soul, then returned to his work. I never would’ve seen a book being bound in real time if I’d had my phone. I guess my point is, and it’s not a resolution, it’s just a point: as a writer, I’m meant to be constantly absorbing the world. I think my phone stops me from doing so, as it’s sort of just the mindless consumption of other people’s Points of View; other people’s Salads. And so, I might just try and leave it at home sometimes, go back to taking pictures of things with my eyes.

Posted in hmmmmm, i am a grown up, the future | No Comments »

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