bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

why to invent a time machine

October 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

There are many reasons to invent a time machine, including but not limited to stopping my cousin from walking in on me changing into my bathing suit at the family reunion that one time,  murdering Hitler, checking out my Great-grandparents just to see that if it’s true that I’m  genetically pre-disposed to being overweight, and just curiosity, in general. But mostly it’s to BE IN THE PLANTER’S CORPORATE OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT SOMEONE CAME UP WITH NUT-TRITION.

What happened after the person said it? Was it met with — skepticism? Did anyone say, no, it’s too obvious, it will never work! Or did everyone slap themselves across their own faces and shout WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF IT FIRST? IT’S SO OBVIOUS! IT’S RIGHT THERE! STUPID BARBARA! TWELVE YEARS IN ADVERTISING AND YOU DON’T SEE NUT-TRITION?! Did the person then stand on the conference table, take a long and solemn bow, then retire? Or are they still in an office somewhere, trying to top their last triumph? (HINT TO PERSON:  YOU NEVER WILL)

Posted in a lot, awesome, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

re: how contractor’s kids go to college

October 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Contractor: Sorry, we have to rip a bunch of gaping holes in the walls all throughout the house that you guys just bought with all of the money you’ve ever had and then some.

Us:….Okay, why?

Contractor: To fix all of the faulty electrical work so that you don’t all die in a house fire which would, you know, be kind of lame, given how hard you have worked to obtain said house, and you know, life.

Us:….Okay, sounds good, let’s do it. Rip them holes, fix them wires.

Contractor: It will cost ten grand.

Us: OW. OKAY.

(A month later)

Contractor: Okay, the wires are fixed!

Us: AMAZING, THANK YOU!

Contractor: Would you like me to….close the gaping holes in the wall that I made all throughout your house?

Us:….Uh…Yes?

Contractor: THAT WILL BE TEN THOUSAND MORE DOLLARS MU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

Let them in

October 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

My first plays in college were very much just me trying to articulate and work through some things that were troubling me about my life, about the world and the way that I saw it. Being that I was all of 18-21, which is to say, very mature and deep and complicated, I, for the most part, kept these plays to myself, and didn’t share this part of myself with my parents. Over the years, this started to feel wrong, as there is little space between myself and my plays, so keeping my parents away from them was cutting them off from a big part of my Self. Last night we strolled through the classrooms where I wrote said first plays, then I sat with them as they watched The Cake. My feelings could be described as ‘terror’ and ‘worry’ and ‘wanting to at the same time vomit and cry’ and ‘where is wine’ but now, on the other side of it, I feel lucky and liberated  and open,  having shared. Why do the work if you can’t share it with the people who made you? IF A PLAY FALLS IN AN UNDERGRADUATE THEATER BUILDING, DO ANY PARENTS HEAR IT AT ALL? (Because they should.)

Posted in YAY, a lot, family, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, theater, worrying | No Comments »

marriage song

September 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Now that I’m a locked down and spoken for and happily married woman person, I truly have only one regret: I can no longer be spurned or rejected by someone I’m deeply in love with.  More specifically, I can never again sing-scream through  tears  I’LL GET OVER YOUUUUUUU, I KNOW I WILL, I’LL PRETEND MY SHIP’S NOT SINKING, AND I’LL TELL MYSELF, I’M OVER YOU, CAUSE I’M THE KING OF WISHFUL THINKINGGGGGGGGGGG. I mean, I can sing it all I want, and believe you me, I do. But it’s not the same. Woe is not me. Instead, comfort is me. Warmth and stability are me. Perhaps instead: I’LL BE MARRIED TO YOU / I KNOW I WILL / I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ALL YOUR SOUNNNNNDS MEAN / AND I’LL TELL MYSELF / LET’S STOP BY TRADER JOES ON THE WAY HOME BECAUSE I THINK WE’RE OUT OF OLIVE OIL?

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i have peace, love, things that I Have, tout, wanting, words | No Comments »

criticsism

September 21st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Oftentimes when I read an unfavorable review of a play of mine, my first thought is to send the reviewer a long and earnest email defending my work, but I usually talk myself out of it,  let the impulse fade. Also, what is a blog if not a VERY SAFE PLACE TO INDIRECTLY SHOUT THINGS AT PEOPLE? And so today, in this safe place: HEY REVIEWERS, IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY PLAY, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE AND GREAT AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION, BUT MAYBE DON’T POST THE REVIEW ON FACEBOOK AND TAG ME PERSONALLY IN IT  SO THAT MY GRANDMOTHER / KINDERGARTEN TEACHER / HIGH SCHOOL EX BOYFRIENDS / CO-WORKERS / KIDS THAT I USED TO BABYSIT THAT ARE NOW IN COLLEGE CAN ALL KNOW WHAT A TERRIBLE WRITER AND HUMAN BEING YOU THINK I AM? Maybe leave my falsely constructed sense of a positive self image, a page where I’m doing okay and I only have one chin, where life is grand, alone? Maybe just write and share your review with your publication, as you were hired to do, but maybe don’t come after me personally as if slapping my face with a glove? Maybe? Hmm?

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, narcissism, the writing of drama plays, theater, whining, words, worrying | No Comments »

lie there and think about yourself

September 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I don’t like the part at the end of yoga where you’re supposed to ‘lie there and think about yourself, and only yourself.’ All I ever do is think about myself. I am, in fact,  sick of thinking about myself. Whenever the instructor tells me to do this, I just lie there and think about all of the ways in which I spend too much time thinking about myself, and by the time the class ends, I am so weighed down by my own narcissism that I can barely move. Maybe instead, I’ll lay there and think about other people. Maybe for me, savasana should be FORGETTING I EVEN EXIST.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, life, wanting, whining, worrying | No Comments »

The Gallery

September 2nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

My mom sent the brostetters and I this picture last week:

It’s pretty much every horrible art thing we ever made in school for our Dad, that he has ACTUALLY KEPT IN HIS OFFICE FOR ALL OF THESE YEARS.  The collection includes a beaver doing a double split, an ‘ashtray’ for a man who has, to my knowledge, never smoked a thing in his life, not one but TWO blowfishes, a vase that Morrison aptly described as a ‘bag of lips,’ and what appears to be a torso of Dad but in blackface. I want to think that he kept these things because he loves us, and thinks that everything we do is great, but I think it’s more like: my children are now providing for themselves and working their way up in their assorted fields, but THESE ARE  A HILARIOUS PHYSICAL REMINDER OF HOW STUPID AND VASTLY UNTALENTED THEY WERE AS CHILDREN.

Posted in YAY, a lot, family, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, silly | No Comments »

To write Bravely

August 29th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve been thinking about what my next play is going to be….all I know is I want it to offer a new perspective on something divisive, like the Cake did. It’s a commission for Theater Breaking Through Barriers, so it’s also an opportunity to be inclusive of actors with disabilities, without making the play ABOUT that. There are things that I’m interested in writing about, but then there’s this layer beneath: things that make me ANGRY, AFRAID, things that make me want to SPIT AND HIDE. Things that the secret part of my brain tends to go to. I think writers often write about the things right above these things. The more socially acceptable, surface skater-y version of these things. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF INSTEAD, WE ACTUALLY JUST WROTE ABOUT THOSE AWFUL THINGS? MIGHT SOMETHING WONDERFUL COME FROM THIS CREATIVE BRAVERY? DON’T WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO WRITE BRAVELY, FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO RISK THEIR LIVES FOR JUST WRITING? IS THIS THE CLOSEST MY LIFE WILL EVER GET TO GAME OF THRONES?! PROBABLY YES

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, the future, working, worrying | No Comments »

how to put your head in a box

August 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

1. Wait for a total solar eclipse that is visible from your country to happen, which will occur approximately four times in your lifetime

2.) Find a box, put a pinhole in the back so that the image of eclipse will project onto the other side

3.) Put your head in the box

4.) Congrats, your head is in a box

Posted in I'M SO EXCITED, YAY, ha, history, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, worrying | No Comments »

EARNEST GRATITUDE POST ALERT

August 14th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

The Cake closed yesterday, which is not to say that it is the end: the play is (with different cast / director / designers) is moving onto Playmakers in NC, the Warehouse Theater in SC, La Jolla in SoCal, The Alley in Houston, and hopefully a few more. And also, it will never really be Over, as there will always be cake, and if there’s not, I truly do not know if I want to live in that world. I’ve had plays close many times before, but this one was particularly emotional. It’s always sad when a play ends, as it will never be again, or least, not with the same people, in the same space. But also, this wasn’t just any play. Not only did I get to work with actors who read my mind, made me feel and look smart, captured my laugh-then-tears-then-laugh tone that some aren’t sure how to navigate, but also, I got to work with my husband, and witness first hand the depth his heart and work ethic and creative intelligence.

If that weren’t enough, I got to put voice to icky and complicated questions and contradictions that exist in my head, let them out of my head and into the world,  and discover that so many people wrestle with the same things. I  helped a liberal audience find empathy for those whose beliefs are different from their own, I helped evangelical audience members feel understood. I walked a divide and gave out cake. And if THAT weren’t even enough – I got to make people feel good, feel hopeful and open, which, given how things currently are, feels important. And so, if all of THOSE things weren’t even enough, I got to fully realize that fact itself: that plays are important. They are only important SOMETIMES. They cannot always be important. Sometimes they are selfish and indulgent or too long or  too vague and or too ambitious. But sometimes they effect people. If, at the end of my life, this is my one play that did just that — if this was as good as it gets –I AM SO VERY GOOD WITH THAT.

Posted in generally, horn tooting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays | No Comments »

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