bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Fantasy or Fever Dream?

November 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This Thanksgiving will forever go down in history as That Time I Spent an Entire Year looking forward to hosting my own Thanksgiving in my own house for my Husband’s family, nearly a lifelong goal of mine, only to contract a cold from hell a few days before game time, but flat out refused to let it affect my fantasy plans or anyone’s holiday, and so I pushed through like a mad woman assisted by Sister in Laws and Sudafed, to the point of Fever, and SOMEHOW IT ALL HAPPENED, in fact I miraculously started to feel better an hour before dinner was served, and it still managed to be the most marvelous Thanksgiving ever, with two kinds of stuffing and family everywhere, or MAYBE I SWEAT DREAMT IT? A few of my favorite images from my Fever dream:

Morrison somehow arranged our dining room so it fit 14 people / WE GOT TO USE ALL OF OUR PLACEMATS / WHY IS THIS SO EXCITING TO ME / DO I NEED HELP:

 .  

With much advice and assistant from sister in Law Jacy and also the internet, I roasted my first turkey and no one (yet) died:

Tiny people literally everywhere:

SIL Anne with that portrait mode:

Featured dishes: my sausage, apple and fennel cornbread stuffing, and MIL Cam’s Chile Relleno casserole (cheese / eggs / sour cream / chile rellenos / ABSURDLY GOOD)

A large percentage of my favorite people, all in one place:

 

Posted in a lot, awesome, family, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

why je vote

November 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Digging through a drawer for stickers the other day (YES I AM A 36 YO WOMAN WITH A MODEST STICKER COLLECTION MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS) I found this old  mailer, from my Dad’s first Senate campaign:

When I was in high school and college I had this mindset about politics that I’m now ashamed of. I had my literal Father in government. I felt like, my Dad is worrying about all of that. (Which, believe you me, he was.)   I was fortunate enough to not feel directly affected by who was elected, what laws were passed, as I was healthy and fed. (Still am.) I instead chose to focus on and worry about the work and people and problems that were right in front of me, which, btw, I still feel is a good way to live. But it can’t stop there. That sort of selfishness feels inexcusable, these days.  Not caring about things that don’t affect you directly is not only undemocratic, it’s not very Christian, if not inhumane. I care about the health and dignity and rights of everyone, because empathy. My parents taught me empathy. Church taught me empathy. The world, every day, solidifies what’s been there, since I was kid.  DO YOU EVEN EMPATHIZE, BRO? GO GET YOUR STICKER.

 

Posted in a lot, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, YAY | No Comments »

how to dance with (near) your parents

November 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Going through tiny baby brother Tim’s recently released wedding pictures, and I’d just like to leave these here, as a helpful guide, for the next time you’re at a wedding with your parents, and just aren’t sure what to do with your body / face:

Posted in family, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

Be that House

October 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve always wanted to be that House that gives out Whole Candy Bars at Halloween, and this year, now that we are finally in a house that might actually get some trick or treaters,  WE ARE.

Not pictured: desperate and over-enthused compliments of costumes, unsolicited words of encouragement and weird voices,  awkward demands for tricks, all of which we will ALSO be handing out, but just do not fit in any sort of bowl.

 

 

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

cookie as feeling

October 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just walked through a wave of butterscotch and was immediately yanked back to winter at our Will Scarlet Road house where my Mom sliced seven layer cookie bars into Christmas tins for freezing, warm butter clumped with coconut, warm house, warm walls, where late at night I snuck frozen pieces out of the tins tucked into the freezer part of the fridge in the garage, snuck back into warm house, warmer walls, and now I have a violent need go home and make them, by which I mean Practice my Religion of Choice.

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

Distinguished Alums

October 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Ever heard this one? A Dean of a Business School, a 30 YO FEMALE COUNTY COMMISSIONER WHO FIGHTS FOR FREE LUNCH AND EQUALITY AND DIGNITY FOR ALL STUDENTS AND WHO ALSO LOOKS GREAT IN BLUE AND KNOWS JUST WHERE TO PUT HER HANDS IN PICTURES, and a playwright who got her hair straightened so she wouldn’t chew on it while they called her name,  stand in front of a book case in a beautiful alumni building, and — they just stand there, feeling distinguished, not quite knowing where to look or who to thank, feeling so old but so young, wondering when they can eat, where they can pee, who they should thank, doing the mental math of how did I get there, and when did I become Not Nineteen, and  what did I do to deserve this honor and I’ve just been doing my things, and suddenly it’s years later, and look what I’ve built and how will I express my gratitude in words?, especially the playwright, who is meant to be good with words, but who can only think, what do distinguished people do with their Hands, in Pictures? 

 

Posted in a lot, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, YAY | No Comments »

Claydate

September 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The members of my vintage YA book club and I are very much adult people, but we were once children who hid in our rooms from the sun, allergic to back sweat and socializing, instead crafting and reading books, so naturally, for yesterday’s meeting, I got us a bunch of children’s modeling clay, and naturally, this happened:

Island of the Blue Dolphins, revisited: meh. MODELING CLAY FOR GROWN-UPS: ALWAYS.

Posted in a lot, awesome, how interesting, i am a grown up, YAY | No Comments »

SCENE FROM BEGUILING HOLLYWOOD LIFE

September 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, this morning,  frantically shouting at my agent’s assistant through my phonecar: HEY, SORRY, WHERE IS THIS MEETING?

Agent’s Assistant:…Joan’s on Third.

Me: YES I KNOW, BUT WHERE IS IT

Agent’s Assistant: on Third.

Me: BUT WHAT STREET?

Agent’s Assistant:…..On third.

Me: WHAT?

Agent’s Assistant: …Third Street.

(Beat.)

Me: OH RIGHT SORRY. I’VE HIT JUST A LITTLE BIT OF TRAFFIC JUST PLEASE JUST GIVE THEM A HEADS UP THAT I’LL BE SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS LATE. PLEASE APOLOGIZE FOR ME, AND HAVE THEM ORDER ME A DECAF ALMOND MILK LATTE, AND A SMALL CABIN TUCKED IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORTH CAROLINA, PERHAPS BY A STREAM, WHERE I CAN LIVE OUT MY DAYS AND NEVER HAVE TO GET IN A CAR OR SPEAK ON A PHONECAR EVER, EVER AGAIN.

Agent’s Assistant: Will do?

Me: WAIT, WHICH THIRD

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, I write for television?, LA angst, whining, YAY | No Comments »

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