bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

LET IT TELL YOU

December 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

ATTN: PEOPLE WITH BOOBS. Today, on we Live in the Future:  instagram will now tell you when you need a new bra and where to get it. It will also tell you which overnight bags and shoes and lip gloss and also you know, what a girl you went to high school with who you have not talked to in sixteen years had for lunch, so you know, also still the basics. Listen to instagram. Maybe it’s the Russians swaying your opinion or maybe its just an actually effective, non-scary algorithm that directs you to things that do fit your style and needs based on a quick scan of every picture you’ve ever posted. WHO KNOWS! This bra brand LIVELY started following me, and after a few days of pictures of pretty, laid back torsoes, I succumbed, and clicked, and purchased. And you guys (more specifically: girls) THEY ARE THE BEST BRAS I HAVE EVER OWNED. They are soft and supportive and simple and sleek. (If you have the kind of sweater cows that cause back problems, that people stop to look at, I cannot help you, but for my average lot, they do me just fine.) TRY A ONE TODAY PLEASE OKAY!  - RUSSIA

Posted in YAY, a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, i am scared, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

PRESENTING

December 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

WE GOT OUR WEDDING PICTURES! They are lovely. As hard as it is to look at 900 pictures of yourself  and marvel at how even in a stunning gown you can manage to look like an evil badger baby, I STILL love them. The moments are perfectly captured. We were so stupid happy that day and the pictures will forever show it. There are so many that I do not even know what to do with them. I think I will just stretch the process out, keep the feeling new and real, and just drop them like tiny love bombs whenever I feel like it. Starting with these! I present to you, the moment after Morrison and I first saw each other, hugged and cried, and then I promptly made him look at my butt, my exact words being, LOOK AT MY BUTT!

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., a lot, fancy, generally, ha, horn tooting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, life, love, memories, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

brown

November 21st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nail person: what’re you thinking?

Me: Brown! I have a brown in my head.

Nail person: Sounds like a personal problem. Tell me about this brown in your head.

Me: a bright, happy pilgrim brown, crayola marker drawing of house brown, cartoon chocolate or wood or poop. Luminous, optimistic neon brown.

Nail person: That’s not a thing.

Me: what’s not?

Nail person: Happy pilgrim. But here are 11 other kinds of brown. Anger brown, dirt brown, sad brown, coffee brown –

Me: I’ll take the disco caramel.

Nail person: it’s called burnt leaf.

Me: That’s what I said.

Posted in a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

IT’S NOT REAL

September 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch of lipsticks for lunch, then took all of the lipstick crumbs that fell out of your mouth and then rubbed those around your mouth and onto your teeth. I must conclude that when you see a woman with nice looking lipstick that is only on her lips, she has actually just implanted a device in every single other person’s eyes that projects digital color onto the lip part of her face, because there is LITERALLY NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

Standards

August 23rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

When I was young, or forming, or, say, age 13-25, my Mom and I would have thrown down fights if my bra straps were even remotely showing. To my mom, if my bra is was showing, I was a girl woman of suggestible morality. For me, if my straps were showing, I was worldly, daring, innovative, carefully apathetic, and basically the coolest person that had ever graced the planet / sale section of Victoria’s Secret. I JUST WANTED TO SHOW MY STRAPS. But I would just like to go on record and state that at some point in the last few years, things changed, and I can NO LONGER STAND THE SIGHT OF MY OWN BRA STRAPS. They are no longer cool. They stand for laziness and a youthfulness I want to grow beyond and ALSO WHAT IS WITH THE FRONT BRA STRAPS NOW?

IT IS NOW COOL TO WEAR YOUR BRA ON YOUR UPPER CHEST. I can’t wait until years from now when I have to talk my teenage daughter out of wearing her bra on her face. MOM I WANT TO WEAR MY BRA ON MY FACE! EVERYONE IS WEARING FACE BRAS MOM,  EVERYONE IS DOING IT MOM *DOOR SLAM* / KARMA.

Posted in the future, what I'm wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

Plausible Scenarios

August 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS JUST IN, I OFFICIALLY HAVE A WEDDING DRESS! It arrived in NYC from Hungary, and is now en route to LA, which means it’s now time for my worryholder, read: my brain,  to start concocting absurd scenarios re: what might happen to it. A few favorites:

- it will get lost (basic.)

- a dress thief which is a thing will steal it.

- (obviously) the plane carrying the dress will crash into a house. Or just a car. Maybe a car next to a house.

- Someone who hates me has been lying in wait for years trying to figure out a way to get back at me for something I did to hurt them that I don’t even remember. They select this as that moment. They intercept my dress, cover it with dirt, and start the dress its own instagram, in which they take the dress all over the world, sullying it, never quite showing me where it is.

- IT NEVER ARRIVES / I HAVE DREAMT THE WHOLE THING

- MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A DREAM

- I WAKE UP IN THE MATRIX

- I PULL THE CORDS FROM MY HEAD, ASK TO SEE MY WEDDING DRESS

- I AM TOLD THERE IS NO LONGER NO SUCH THING AS DRESSES

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, life, love, what I'm wearing, worrying | No Comments »

LISA FRANK HAS A CLOTHING LINE

July 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I REPEAT, LISA FRANK HAS RELEASED A CLOTHING LINE

I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY LEOPARD BABY TRAPPER KEEPER AS PANTS

Posted in YAY, awesome, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

skirtzophrenic

July 25th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am obsessed with these skirts that are a long sheer matronly skirt over the short skirt of a woman with loose morals. They are that pioneer life but also disco night, they are both Quaker and Saved by the Bell, they are single but married, they are everything all of the time, which, for the indecisive girl on the go who is literally so indecisive she can barely even decide WHERE to even go (read: me) THEY ARE PERFECT.

Posted in YAY, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

SHOWER!

June 25th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Mackenzie and her lovely mom Linda offered to throw me a bridal shower. My first thought: YES PLEASE THANK YOU! Second thought: HATS!

Babies n family n gals came from near and far to watch me stuff my face full of mini quiches and freak out over cheese boards. Mack hung up quotes about love and marriage from my plays. I received a tower of Christmas ornaments. By which I mean, BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Posted in MAWWAGE., Uncategorized, i am lucky, love, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

He knows.

June 20th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

If there were ever a question re: whether or not Morrison knows the insides of my soul, for my birthday he gifted me with Cake, Dress, and House cookie cutters, and also two vintage Heinz Pickle Pins, first given out as gifts  to lure people to the Agricultural booth at the far end of the fair grounds at the 1893 World’s Fair, all of which he learned from an SAT question:

SO YEAH, HE IS ALLLLLLLL UP IN THERE.

Posted in YAY, a lot, awesome, things, things that I Have, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

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