bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

S.O.S.

June 22nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

HAVE SCRIPT TO WRITE BUT JUST ACCIDENTALLY GOOGLED CLOGS FOR BABIES

PLZ SEND SOMEONE TO TURN OFF THE INTERNET AND ALSO THE PART OF MY BRAIN THAT WANTS TO LOOK AT BABY CLOGS

Posted in awesome, babies, silly, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

EYE’M MAD

May 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

DEAR WOMEN WHO CAN SEE:

DON’T WEAR GLASSES THAT YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK COOL. IT IS INSULTING TO PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY NEED GLASSES, LIKE TO SEE, WHICH IS THE POINT OF GLASSES. IT’S LIKE DECIDING TO ROCK A WHEELCHAIR EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T NEED IT TO WALK JUST BECAUSE IT MATCHES YOUR NEW FUN HIGH TOPS. VISUAL IMPAIRMENT IS AN ACTUAL THING.

SINCERELY,

OTHERWISE COMPLETELY ABLE BODIED PERSON WITH BAD EYES

Posted in what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

you wear what you eat

May 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes, purely for my own glee and relaxation,  I google a random thing and Dress and just look at the pictures. Bacon dress. Car dress. Infinity dress. Question dress. Today: Salad dress:

VOW RENEWAL ANYONE? ANYONE? NO? K I’LL JUST BE OVER HERE EATING MY BRA

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, a lot, hmmmmm, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing | No Comments »

the capsule wardrobe

May 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I capsuled my wardrobe, which is a thing that women are now doing to their clothes. Women with arguably excess income (me) tend to sometimes (everyday) fill some unnamable void they feel with a new clothing item that they will probably never wear, or only wear once and feel dissatisfied because, in fact, sweaters do not solve larger existential problems, unless it’s a really good cashmere. Not only is the underlying emotional issue behind the purchase not addressed, it is a horrible waste of money and time that gives me great anxiety when I really think about it. Enter the capsule wardrobe, in which you basically get rid of most of your clothes and limit yourself to about 40 items that you really love to wear, that are made well, or madewell, that you feel good while wearing, and you just wear those things, which is to say, HOW MEN ALREADY TREAT THEIR CLOTHES. Getting rid of stuff felt liberating, empowering, and definitely only happened immediately after I dropped 200 bucks on new clothes that I decided were the only clothes I ever needed to wear. I AM FREE!

Posted in YAY, a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, what my friends are doing, women, worrying | No Comments »

I was definitely not born with it

May 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up.

Nice lady: Okay, so like a foundation or a compact or 2 in 1?

Me:….What?

Nice lady: What kind of make up do you normally use?

Me:….I put it on my face?

Nice lady: Okay, probably a two in one. What kind of skin do you have?

Me: Skin!

Nice lady: is it oily or dry?

Me: SKIN.

Nice Lady: Okay! Do you have a primer that you use?

Me: WHAT?

Nice lady: That you put on before your makeup.

Me: Like a moisturizer?!

Nice Lady: No, it’s a different thing that goes on after your moisturizer, before your makeup.

Me: NO I DON’T HAVE THAT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I NEVER LEARNED THESE THINGS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Nice Lady: try these products. And here’s my card with my number. Text me if you have any questions.

Me: OKAY BUT CAN I TEXT YOU IF I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, JUST IN GENERAL?

Nice Lady: Sure.

Me: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL HANDS

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, i am a grown up, oh nooo, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

creatures

May 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

A massive sea creature that is maybe a squid or a whale or some new sort of thing just washed ashore in Indonesia. Among  questions like WHAT and WHY, I am pondering this: isn’t it crazy that some creatures on earth look like this:

and others, this?

And then even others, this?

Posted in Uncategorized, a lot, animals, ha, hmmmmm, the whole world, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing | No Comments »

why I need a uniform

May 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes, or, if I’m being honest, ALL OF THE TIME, I spend more time than I should thinking about what I should wear to a thing. I place a lot of value on outside appearances and neglect the interior. It trickles down even to my idea of what clean is. If a kitchen LOOKS clean, it is clean. No dishes in the sink but like quiet, secret pools of old chicken juice pushed under the dishwasher. A while back, I found this letter in a box of things at my parents’ house. I wrote it to Seventeen Magazine when I was 13 or so, for a ‘tell us why you need a Makeover’ type contest.

It is so sad and horrifying that I guess it’s also a little bit funny, but I keep it a picture of it saved on my desktop to remind myself that there’s some part of me that, for whatever reason, was trapped in this shallow loop at a young age, and that now I am an adult, and I can step out of this loop and just be a person who just wears the same thing every day, a uniform over her thoughts.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, silly, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

baby’s first high fashion moment

April 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

MOVE OVER BEYONCE

I HAVE A PURSE THAT MATCHES MY NECKLACE

THE NECKLACE ALSO MATCHES THE PURSE

IT WORKS IN BOTH DIRECTIONS

Posted in a lot, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

FAKE NEWS OUT OF CONTROL Y’ALL

February 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

This special on the local Winston-Salem news last night CLAIMS to be an interview with a This is Us writer.

But it is ACTUALLY just an interview with a giant gnarled scrunched up Big Toe in a wig with facial features painted on with makeup.  LIES. LIES!!!!!!!!!! GIVE US THE TRUTH.

Posted in YAY, famous people stuff, ha, what I'm wearing, whining | No Comments »

LOW STAKES CONSPIRACY THEORY

January 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS MORNING I REALIZED I HAVE NOT ONE NOT TWO BUT FIVE BLUE AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRTS. OBVIOUSLY I LAID THEM ALL OUT ON MY BED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THEM TO MAKE FUN OF MYSELF LATER.

AS I TOOK THE PICTURE, I RECEIVED THIS PROMOTIONAL EMAIL FROM WILLIAMS AND SONOMA:

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

AM I BEING WATCHED

WHAT AM I BEING TOLD TO DO

PROBABLY JUST BUY MORE BLUE AND WHITE SHIRTS

OKAY FINE RUSSIA WILL DO, BYE

Posted in RUSSIA!, YAY, a lot, silly, the whole world, things, things that I Have, what I'm wearing, whining | No Comments »

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