February 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
This special on the local Winston-Salem news last night CLAIMS to be an interview with a This is Us writer.
But it is ACTUALLY just an interview with a giant gnarled scrunched up Big Toe in a wig with facial features painted on with makeup. LIES. LIES!!!!!!!!!! GIVE US THE TRUTH.
Posted in YAY, famous people stuff, ha, what I'm wearing, whining | No Comments »
January 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
THIS MORNING I REALIZED I HAVE NOT ONE NOT TWO BUT FIVE BLUE AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRTS. OBVIOUSLY I LAID THEM ALL OUT ON MY BED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THEM TO MAKE FUN OF MYSELF LATER.
AS I TOOK THE PICTURE, I RECEIVED THIS PROMOTIONAL EMAIL FROM WILLIAMS AND SONOMA:
WHAT DOES IT MEAN
AM I BEING WATCHED
WHAT AM I BEING TOLD TO DO
PROBABLY JUST BUY MORE BLUE AND WHITE SHIRTS
OKAY FINE RUSSIA WILL DO, BYE
Posted in RUSSIA!, YAY, a lot, silly, the whole world, things, things that I Have, what I'm wearing, whining | No Comments »
December 31st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
There’s a thing going around instagram, Best 9, in which people post a grid of their best nine pictures from 2016, summing up a year in their lives. Whenever everyone is doing something it kind of makes me not want to do it, as I am no sheep, by which I mean BAAAAAAAA I’LL JUST DO IT HERE INSTEAD but with 24 pictures because I LIVE MY OWN LIFE (IN GRIDS.) And so with no further ado, it has been a magnificent year! I:
Ate that chicken pot pie in a blizzard, wrote for American Gods, had a beautiful production of my Heaven play at South Coast Rep, found the perfect overalls and wore them approximately 170 times, washed them about 3 times, took a surfing lesson with Elizabeth, had a Dewey’s pink lemonade cake to call my own at my Easter pot luck thanks to my Mom, ran a 5K with a little girl Monet who ate gummy savers the whole way thanks to Blaine, celebrated 2 years with Mo at Red Lobster, patroned Ru Paul’s drag con, got after that no speaking above a whisper resort life in Joshua Tree, spent some time writing at Space on Ryder farm in upstate New York, went to Carrie’s Beyonce themed beybe shower (then later welcomed and met her dear little Sebastian who I am now calling Bash / 2017 let’s see if we can get that going), and then also:
Had the most perfect of bridal showers complete with hats and tiny sandwiches, spun for 3 hours in YAS-a-thon for cancer research, made Ina Garten’s flag cake, welcomed little nephew Mojo, worked on The Cake at the Alliance, Echo and Ojai, did Vegas so hard bachelorette style, tried on a bunch of white dresses / picked one had a bunch dress fittings / obsessed over its details and its accessories namely did I ever mentioned that Ferris Bueller cropped leather coat? / GOT MARRIED / cast my vote for a woman president for the first time, attended Blaine and Jason’s non baby shower baby shower, read Vivian Howard’s incredible cookbook, and started writing for This is Us. And so, a great many things.
Last week I started to have dreams that I was left out of something creative, being mocked for output or performance. Personal favorite: I dreamt I had to play a drunk dog onstage and the reviews were terrible (this dream brought to you by the first night in Hong Kong, surrounded by every stimulus possible.) I think the dreams stem from a feeling that I haven’t accomplished enough creatively this year, like I haven’t dug enough into my own heart / brain. I’ve been working, yes, but I feel, in general, sort of uninspired, like the questioning part of my brain has been numbed. It’s most likely because the majority of all extra time and emotional brainspace I had went to wedding planning. And so, I will forgive myself, hope that 2017 brings characters / moments / stories / questions, big new ideas, but ALSO, more cakes / adult onesies / trips / love, FOR BALANCE.
Posted in MAWWAGE., TV, YAY, a lot, life, love, memories, oh nooo, optimism, silly, the future, the whole world, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, whining, words, working, worrying | No Comments »
December 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
ATTN: PEOPLE WITH BOOBS. Today, on we Live in the Future: instagram will now tell you when you need a new bra and where to get it. It will also tell you which overnight bags and shoes and lip gloss and also you know, what a girl you went to high school with who you have not talked to in sixteen years had for lunch, so you know, also still the basics. Listen to instagram. Maybe it’s the Russians swaying your opinion or maybe its just an actually effective, non-scary algorithm that directs you to things that do fit your style and needs based on a quick scan of every picture you’ve ever posted. WHO KNOWS! This bra brand LIVELY started following me, and after a few days of pictures of pretty, laid back torsoes, I succumbed, and clicked, and purchased. And you guys (more specifically: girls) THEY ARE THE BEST BRAS I HAVE EVER OWNED. They are soft and supportive and simple and sleek. (If you have the kind of sweater cows that cause back problems, that people stop to look at, I cannot help you, but for my average lot, they do me just fine.) TRY A ONE TODAY PLEASE OKAY! - RUSSIA
Posted in YAY, a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, i am scared, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »
December 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
WE GOT OUR WEDDING PICTURES! They are lovely. As hard as it is to look at 900 pictures of yourself and marvel at how even in a stunning gown you can manage to look like an evil badger baby, I STILL love them. The moments are perfectly captured. We were so stupid happy that day and the pictures will forever show it. There are so many that I do not even know what to do with them. I think I will just stretch the process out, keep the feeling new and real, and just drop them like tiny love bombs whenever I feel like it. Starting with these! I present to you, the moment after Morrison and I first saw each other, hugged and cried, and then I promptly made him look at my butt, my exact words being, LOOK AT MY BUTT!
Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., a lot, fancy, generally, ha, horn tooting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, life, love, memories, what I'm wearing | No Comments »
November 21st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Nail person: what’re you thinking?
Me: Brown! I have a brown in my head.
Nail person: Sounds like a personal problem. Tell me about this brown in your head.
Me: a bright, happy pilgrim brown, crayola marker drawing of house brown, cartoon chocolate or wood or poop. Luminous, optimistic neon brown.
Nail person: That’s not a thing.
Me: what’s not?
Nail person: Happy pilgrim. But here are 11 other kinds of brown. Anger brown, dirt brown, sad brown, coffee brown –
Me: I’ll take the disco caramel.
Nail person: it’s called burnt leaf.
Me: That’s what I said.
Posted in a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »
September 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch of lipsticks for lunch, then took all of the lipstick crumbs that fell out of your mouth and then rubbed those around your mouth and onto your teeth. I must conclude that when you see a woman with nice looking lipstick that is only on her lips, she has actually just implanted a device in every single other person’s eyes that projects digital color onto the lip part of her face, because there is LITERALLY NO OTHER EXPLANATION.
Posted in ....ew, a lot, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »
August 23rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
When I was young, or forming, or, say, age 13-25, my Mom and I would have thrown down fights if my bra straps were even remotely showing. To my mom, if my bra is was showing, I was a girl woman of suggestible morality. For me, if my straps were showing, I was worldly, daring, innovative, carefully apathetic, and basically the coolest person that had ever graced the planet / sale section of Victoria’s Secret. I JUST WANTED TO SHOW MY STRAPS. But I would just like to go on record and state that at some point in the last few years, things changed, and I can NO LONGER STAND THE SIGHT OF MY OWN BRA STRAPS. They are no longer cool. They stand for laziness and a youthfulness I want to grow beyond and ALSO WHAT IS WITH THE FRONT BRA STRAPS NOW?
IT IS NOW COOL TO WEAR YOUR BRA ON YOUR UPPER CHEST. I can’t wait until years from now when I have to talk my teenage daughter out of wearing her bra on her face. MOM I WANT TO WEAR MY BRA ON MY FACE! EVERYONE IS WEARING FACE BRAS MOM, EVERYONE IS DOING IT MOM *DOOR SLAM* / KARMA.
Posted in the future, what I'm wearing, whining, women | No Comments »
August 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
THIS JUST IN, I OFFICIALLY HAVE A WEDDING DRESS! It arrived in NYC from Hungary, and is now en route to LA, which means it’s now time for my worryholder, read: my brain, to start concocting absurd scenarios re: what might happen to it. A few favorites:
- it will get lost (basic.)
- a dress thief which is a thing will steal it.
- (obviously) the plane carrying the dress will crash into a house. Or just a car. Maybe a car next to a house.
- Someone who hates me has been lying in wait for years trying to figure out a way to get back at me for something I did to hurt them that I don’t even remember. They select this as that moment. They intercept my dress, cover it with dirt, and start the dress its own instagram, in which they take the dress all over the world, sullying it, never quite showing me where it is.
- IT NEVER ARRIVES / I HAVE DREAMT THE WHOLE THING
- MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A DREAM
- I WAKE UP IN THE MATRIX
- I PULL THE CORDS FROM MY HEAD, ASK TO SEE MY WEDDING DRESS
- I AM TOLD THERE IS NO LONGER NO SUCH THING AS DRESSES
Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, life, love, what I'm wearing, worrying | No Comments »
July 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
I REPEAT, LISA FRANK HAS RELEASED A CLOTHING LINE
I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY LEOPARD BABY TRAPPER KEEPER AS PANTS
Posted in YAY, awesome, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »