bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

JE FRENCH NOW

May 22nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I chopped my hair off and now I feel French. What does that even mean? Does it mean just, better than our regular selves? I’ll find out. Every meeting I go to now, I will pitch only French ideas. I will pitch shows about Baguettes and Fleurs and soft cheeses and ResisTANCE. When asked if I’ve been to France, I will say OUI. ONE TIME THIRTEEN YEARS AGO. When asked if I speak French, I will say NON. When asked if I have any non-french related ideas, I will say NON, and then a deep meaningful (French?) pause, and then….Souffle? 

Posted in a lot, awesome, what I'm wearing, women, words | No Comments »

Color Therapy (?)

May 13th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

My shirt is yellow, THEREFORE,  I will have a good day and a positive outlook and my dreams will come true and the worst case scenarios will only play out in my mind and fertile unicorns will shit rainbows of optimism and fresh babies on my head (?)/ GOOD THING I AM NOT WEARING BLACK (?)

Posted in a lot, optimism, sucking, the future, the making of babies, the worst, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining | No Comments »

How to know you’re a medium old Potato

April 19th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Instead of matching tattoos YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS GET MATCHING PAJAMAS

YOU FIND THEM AT TARGET WHEN YOU’RE DOING A QUICK STOP FOR FLO-NASE AND PAPER TOWELS

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW TO EVER NOT WEAR THEM

OR AT LEAST, THIS IS WHAT YOU TELL PEOPLE, SO AS TO ENSURE THAT YOU NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, EVER AGAIN

 

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SPRING INTO BUSINESS

March 16th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

If you and I have a Business Meeting at any point in the next four to five months, please know that I WILL be wearing this and only this uniform, which I assembled in a cold panic at Aritzia, fueled by a sudden and overwhelming need to dress like I have the Answers, or least like I have at least met one, once or twice.

 

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CAUGHT ME A COUNTRY MOUSE

March 4th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

THE TRAP WAS BAGELS; TALL BUILDINGS

E is busy dominating (if not creating?) the NC mountain theater season and I’m so lucky that she ventured up to join me as one of my Cake opening night dates. Sharing my NC play with my NC people is the best and MAKES MY FACE HURT.

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

I don’t know why or when

February 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I found this picture amongst my things, and I’m not totally sure Why or When it was:

But given my tanned legs / popped hip, I think I can surmise that it was taken at Weight Loss Camp, ie that one Summer that I wore Confidence around like a bikini (and a bikini, I also wore an actual bikini /  for gruesome details please see my play  Fat Kids on Fire) but most importantly, I need to know WHERE AND HOW AND WHEN I PROCURED SILK BOXERS WITH FRUIT ALL OVER THEM,

And if I was in fact wearing them at Fat Camp, WAS the irony of the fact that I was wearing shorts with food on them lost on me? PLEASE LET IT NOT HAVE BEEN LOST ON ME.

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, memories, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

a thing that I should not be doing

October 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just realized a completely psychotic thing that I’ve been doing, and I think I’ll lay it here, in hopes of embarrassing myself just enough to stop doing it. I keep thinking about old pairs of jeans that don’t fit anymore, as if they’re people I used to love. I imagine the moments I had with them. I ponder what my life would be like if I still could wear them. I wonder where they are now. I literally sigh after these thoughts. NOW THAT I’VE CONFESSED THIS, PEOPLE LET ME FOREVER STOP CONFUSING PEOPLE AND CLOTHES.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining, worrying | No Comments »

on trend; fleek (?)

September 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

With the popularity of and resurgence of Queer Eye, everybody’s all about the French tuck all of the sudden, by which they of course mean, HOW I ALWAYS WEAR MY SHIRTS,

BY WHICH I MEAN, I AM, AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, A VERY VERY WELL DRESSED MAN / HOPE TO SOON GET BACK ON MY FEET EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY / FIND A WIFE.

 

Posted in a lot, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

how to know it’s time for new jeans

June 21st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter
  • The last time you purchased new jeans was 3 years ago
  • Since then you have quit smoking and slowly, elegantly if not effortlessly, gained fifteen pounds
  • and yet you still shove yourself into the old jeans, which definitely no longer fit, creating a cloud of nihilistic self loathing through which you can no longer even feel the INCREDIBLE SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT OF HAVING QUIT SMOKING
  • no literally you shove yourself into them so much that at the end of the day you don’t so much take them off, as you EMERGE FROM THEM
  • hey maybe get yourself some new jeans
  • (meet my new jeans)

Posted in what I'm wearing, whining, YAY | No Comments »

mauve over, jeans!

June 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Shout out to these mauve Uni-qlo pants made from something like ant-wrinkle anti-stain astronaut material, that are perfect for early summer in LA, when the temperature at work vacillates from 60 to 90 at any give point. Also shout-out to the frozen blueberry I found in my crotch that did NOT leave a stain. LAST SHOUT OUT TO YOU, READER, FOR NOT JUDGING ME FOR TAKING BLURRY IPHOTO BOOTH PICTURES OF MY PANTS IN MY OFFICE.

Posted in a lot, what I'm wearing, women, YAY | No Comments »

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