bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

on the nose

July 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I love when I have a dream that is so on the nose, it’s like a sixth grader wrote it for an assignment they were just trying to finish  real fast so that they could hang OUT   with their FRIENDS, MOM! Last night, I dreamt that I was trying to make it to the airport for an flight (80% of my dreams) but ALSO, I was frantically trying to give everyone I knew presents, like carefully laid out mementos with inside jokes and handwritten notes. MAYBE DO I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS MUCH? THANKS FOR THE CRYPTIC MESSAGE, SUBCONSCIOUS!

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, what my friends are doing, whining | No Comments »

about face(s)

July 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Actually, I really don’t have any good explanations, except that there are crown stickers on my head because these are from a scrapbook my dear Mom made to commemorate me, but other than that I will just…..leave these many faces here, with sparse commentary.

CAN’T FIGURE OUT BANGS

JELLY BRACELETS LIFTED FROM FAVOR AISLE WHILE WORKING AT PARTY CITY

STILL CAN’T FIGURE OUT BANGS NO REALLY SOMEONE GIVE THIS POOR PERSON A ROUND BRUSH

EXCELLENCE; RING WATCH

 

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, memories, narcissism | No Comments »

Leah

June 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This charm belonged to my great-grandma, Leah Lopin, my middle namesake. I met her a handful of times before she died in the 90’s, and I mostly remember necklaces and laughter and white teeth. This charm lives next to my perfume, and yesterday I stopped and looked it and remembered: she was the first kid to be born in America. Her Jewish parents fled Russia in the early 1900’s to escape religious persecution by the Czar, and by persecution I definitely mean  senseless murder. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, they were welcomed, here. They started a life, here. And so I now have a life, here. Let this never be lost on me, and let it inform and shape my view and activism for those trying to enter from Honduras and El Salvador and Guatemala who only want THE EXACT SAME THING.

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the whole world, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

that time my Dad was right

June 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I will have been being bloggy on this here blog basically every day for eleven years. For me it’s not JUST telling you what pants I’m wearing or what catastrophe I’m currently wringing my hands over, it’s also discipline. It’s an exercise in making a promise to oneself, and keeping it. It’s also an excuse to pause each day, form a thought. It’s a collection of memories, it’s how I know what I was doing on Thanksgiving five years ago, it’s how my old self gives my present self advice, it’s, okay IT’S MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD, because it’s nothing and everything, because it’s whatever it wants to be, because it’s Mine. But. Lately, my brain has been stretched so thin with various projects that I find myself approaching this space like the box checker that I am — blogging frantically, like QUICK DO A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH OF THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR HEAD AND PUT IT UP WITH PERHAPS HALF A SENTENCE, and for what? For who? And so, as my Dad gently suggested a few weeks ago (THANKS DAD, DON’T CHOKE ON YOUR I TOLD YOU SO!)  I’m going to simply remove the pressure to be here every single day, and instead, just when I really have something to say, perhaps more like 3-4 times a week. I mean, it’s like they always say. You’re never too old to listen to your Dad, and you’re never too young to have human feelings for the internet. Okay? OKAY, SEE YOU BACK HERE TOMORROW WHEN I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF NOT BLOGGING, BYE!

 

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am scared, life, YAY | No Comments »

Subverting the Sticker System

June 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The I VOTED sticker has been fantastic for our Democracy, as it truly motivates people to Vote, not just because it matters, but because if you DON’T vote,  you risk the shame of being the only person at work WITHOUT the sticker, and whoever came up with the idea for the sticker should obviously feel like a genius today and all days, and obviously here is a picture of me with my sticker,

BUT NEXT YEAR COULD SOMEONE WITH A SMALL BUDGET AND A SMALL AMOUNT OF FREE TIME PLEASE MAKE A BUNCH OF STICKERS THAT LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME BUT SAY I FARTED, INSTEAD? JUST FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT, IF NOT THE WORLD’S?

Posted in ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, politics | No Comments »

upfronts

May 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Allow me to be UPFRONT with you. For years, as a working TV writer, I heard the word upfronts in various sentences. i.e., I can’t that week, I’ll be at upfronts and they’re going to announce it at upfronts and we have to wait and see what happens at upfronts and I would nod and feign understanding and respond with things like oh, right, upfronts and even make my OWN sentences like, MAN, THOSE UPFRONTS! But I KNEW NOT WHAT I SAID. But this year, I can say this sentence with both confidence and understanding: The darling This is Us cast is currently at UPFRONTS by which I mean, the time when all of the people from all the shows go to NYC and present for advertisers so that the advertisers can say, you look like you could sell my deodorant! upfronts upfronts, and then everyone walks away with money (?)

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

how to water a plant

May 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that I thought I was a plant, like I kept going around telling people that I was one, and no one believed me. This is most likely related to the fact that we recently got some indoor plants, so that while we’re inside of the Box Man Made to keep us out of the Elements, we might still feel like the Elements are all around us. I’ve never been much of a Plant person (EXCEPT FOR IN MY DREAMS, WHEN I AM PLANT) and so all of the tricks to keeping it alive are completely new to me. I asked the garden center person how often to water the plant, and she all but laughed in my face. And then this:

There’s no such thing as a plant watering schedule. If it’s in direct light, give it water sometimes but not too often, only when it seems like it needs water. If it’s in indirect sunlight, also only sometimes give it water, less frequently than all the time, but just occasionally. If it’s not humid and the plant wants to be humid, spray it with water but only when it wants it. If it looks like it doesn’t want it, don’t do it. And ALWAYS FILTERED WATER.

Confusing, specific,  but also somehow vague. Perhaps I — AM PLANT?!

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

good with kids

April 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison is very, very, VERY good with kids, mostly because he takes them seriously and speaks to them like they’re adults, while at the same time, playing into their imaginations. With me,  it’s mostly awkward. (Me: HOW’S YOUR WEEKEND GOING? GET INTO ANY TROUBLE? DO YOU LIKE WINE? AM I TALKING LOUD?)  Yesterday, the school where Morrison TA’s had its (CHARMING; INCREDIBLE) spring carnival, and so naturally, we  played laser tag in a gym with a bunch of kids. At one point, I looked over and saw Morrison doing a slow motion death-roll on the ground while two little girls in pigtails stood over him, casually shooting him point blank. That fact on its own is NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS STORY.

Waiting in line to enter, we decided to form an alliance with four other kids. The plan was to hole up behind the big pile of Mats in the Northwest corner of the room. We got our guns, the room went dark, and we ran to our station. But as I lept behind mats next to Morrison, one kid looks at me skeptically.

Kid: Who’s that?

Morrison: It’s okay. She’s safe.

Me (to kid): I’m your wife!

The kid just looks at me.

Kid: Wait, what?

Me: Oh, wait, no, I meant —

Morrison: She’s MY wife.

Me: I’m HIS wife! Hahahaha! You don’t have a wife! That’d be weird. I promise I’m not your wife. Hahahahaha! I’m an adult!

Kid:…..okay……?

The kid returned to the game, only to turn on me ten minutes later, like this:

Kid: (innocently) How many lives do you have left?

Me: I’m not sure, how can I tell?

Kid: (brightly): Lemmee see your gun!

I hold it out to him, and he SHOOTS ME POINT BLANK.

Me: What the hell?!

Kid: (shrugging) ….friendly fire.

Me: HEY. THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR WIFE.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, kids, silly, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

one woman’s leftover easter Honey Ham

April 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

….is another woman (read: self)’s ALSO LEFTOVER HONEY HAM, and subsequently, SOUPZ.

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Posted in a lot, food, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

Andrea G.

April 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I may have mentioned here before, I tend to read most of my reviews because a.) GOSH, I LOVE PAIN  and b.) I truly feel like I can learn from them,  if I read them with one eye open  (keeping the other eye that scans every moment and room I’m in for reasons to doubt myself carefully closed.) I happened upon this review of the Chicago production of the Cake the other day, and for reasons I decided NOT to unpack in a middle of the night email to the critic, it upset me deeply. I let it go for a few days, then yesterday, decided to revisit it, because again, I LOVE PAIN and also because with the initial sting having settled, I wanted to see what I could learn, as I’m still tweaking the play. And lo and behold, an angel woman named Andrea G. had left this beautifully articulated comment on the review  (my favorite parts in bold):

You are missing the point. Hear me out. There it was- my life on the stage. That NEVER happens. The real side of being a gay woman. Finally something REAL. You still have to love your family. You still have to reach across the table. Because we still need to live in our current lives. Della is lovable because most of the time your family member is lovable. I have a ton of Dellas in my live. And I wish I could be braver like Jen and work through them all. But you choose those like Della who really love you and you work it through. So you both grow. And it HURTS. Are you not gay? Or are you not a woman? Because that is the way women deal with things. Slowly and painfully. I’ll give this, then you give that, slowly. If you are really really lucky it ends well. I am still bruised as I am sure every lesbian who left the theater. You say it is intellectually and emotionally unnutritious. That is INSANE. This is family not the government or your job. You have to give people time to change, reevaluate and change some more. Dissuading others from seeing it because it doesn’t fit into the cookie cutter liberal “should,” is keeping people from actually seeing their lives in art. Not a fantasy of how life should be, but how it is. Because the play you are asking for wouldn’t hit home for me. It is a fantasy for me- where I sit down with my aunt and have a conversation about identities It wouldn’t be emotional because it would never happen. Because that is what your said privileged people do- conversations about identities. Not us poor blue collar folks. And your attitude towards Della is elitist and condescending. Yes she is a bigot. But your (and Macy’s attitude) is not so nice either.

ANDREA G., you are why I write plays. Thank you for speaking for me, with me.

 

Posted in arrogant art things, awesome, faith, family, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater, women, words | No Comments »

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