bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

SPOILERZ / PREDICTIONZ

May 20th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

My brilliant and trickstery bro-in-law John made this Quiz to accompany last night’s Game of Thrones Series finale, and I’ll just leave my PREDICTIONS here:

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET, SPOILER: DANY DOES NOT DIE FROM PERIOD

 

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THIS IS MY BABY(?)

May 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Cracker is definitely a comfort during all of this fuckery.  We’re leaning on him more and more, by which I mean, trying to teach him how to Hug, by which I mean, picking him up and trying to wrap his arms around us and shouting at him ARMS OUT, CRACKER, ARMS OUT! Until he leaps from our arms and hides for hours someplace we can’t find him, then he forgets that it happened, slowly re-emerges, hungry and trusting, AND IT HAPPENS ALL OVER AGAIN. HE WILL LEARN TO HUG. HE WILL.

Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, love, trying too hard, wanting, YAY | No Comments »

Try and Come

April 21st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

HAPPY MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY!!! In celebration of Christ’s resurrection, WE ARE ACCIDENTALLY HAVING 100 PPL OVER TO OUR HOUSE FOR HONEY HAM BECAUSE LIKE 90% OF THE PPL WE INVITED ARE COMING, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, BUT YAY.  While scrolling through the RSVP’s in slight terror, I encountered one of my favorite ridiculous things that people say: I’m going to try and come. What does this even mean? You either go, or don’t go. How do you TRY and go? Is it like a person  TRYING to leave their driveway, but their car is blocked by a giant boulder, so they Try and move it, but can’t, and stay home? This is Try. Or maybe Jesus trying to exit his tomb to get to his I’m Alive again Party, that he definitely RSVPed for, but he can’t move the Stone. Sorry y’all. I tried to come, but I could not. 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

GROWN UP EGG HUNT

April 17th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison and I are in prep mode for the giant Easter potluck / egg hunt we’re hosting Sunday, in which we’re going to revel in all of our friend’s children for four hours THEN POLITELY ASK THEM TO LEAVE SO WE CAN WATCH GAME OF THRONES ALONE. In the invite, I called it an ‘all ages egg hunt’ which I’m realizing is a terrible idea, as obviously, the grown ups will find the eggs before the children. But as a thought experiment, I’m making a mental list of the things that would go inside of Grown-up eggs:

  • Tiny succulents
  • Midol
  • Tylenol PM
  • Weed Gummies
  • Passwords to private links to indie short films
  • Squirts of hand sanitizer
  • Claritin
  • Boullion cubes
  • Xanax
  • AND OTHER REASONS WHY THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A GROWN UP EGG HUNT

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

(MISSPELLED) CAKE POSTERS FOREVER

March 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

NO BUT REALLY DID YOU THINK I WAS DONE TALKING ABOUT CAKE? *NEVER NOT DONE / DRIVES TO DMV / CHANGES NAME TO CAKE*

The Cake is currently backpacking around America like a dang college drop out.  It’s currently in rehearsal in Fayetteville, NC,  Sarasota, Florida and Lake Dillon, Colorado.  I would like to please draw attention to Colorado’s phenomenal poster:

THE CAKE WAS DESTROYED / THE BRIDES WERE PLACED BACK ON TOP / WILL I EVER TIRE OF LOOKING AT POSTERS OF THIS PLAY / IS THIS A TIME LOOP / AM I ACTUALLY ALIVE / WHO IS BEKAH BRUNSETTER (?)

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, how interesting, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

I am Guilty Of

March 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

There’s a thing I do, as a contemporary robot person with robot computer phone brain and human heart, that I would like to stop doing. And so, like most things that I don’t enjoy about myself, I’ll lay it here, in hopes of embarrassing myself into Change.  Here it is: I make moral judgements on News Things before I’ve fully read about them. (It’s also a thing that we maybe all do, that maybe we should all stop doing.) I make these judgements quickly, based on a headline or a skim of an article that I cram into a tiny section of unoccupied time,  so I can participate in conversations and outrage and jokes,  so that I don’t feel left out, or alone. But WHAT IF INSTEAD, I waited until I’d thoroughly read up on the Thing,  before making my judgements, adding my commentary? Would I spend more time reading and informing myself, less time commenting? Isn’t my being informed on whatever the thing is more important that whatever commentary I might add which, especially if I’m not informed, is most likely not different from everyone else’s? And DID I JUST FIX THE WORLD?

 

Posted in a lot, arrogant art things, awesome, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, the whole world, words, worrying | No Comments »

I don’t know why or when

February 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I found this picture amongst my things, and I’m not totally sure Why or When it was:

But given my tanned legs / popped hip, I think I can surmise that it was taken at Weight Loss Camp, ie that one Summer that I wore Confidence around like a bikini (and a bikini, I also wore an actual bikini /  for gruesome details please see my play  Fat Kids on Fire) but most importantly, I need to know WHERE AND HOW AND WHEN I PROCURED SILK BOXERS WITH FRUIT ALL OVER THEM,

And if I was in fact wearing them at Fat Camp, WAS the irony of the fact that I was wearing shorts with food on them lost on me? PLEASE LET IT NOT HAVE BEEN LOST ON ME.

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, memories, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

give none trucks

February 7th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

The scene: an olderish, corporate-y guy and I stand pissy in the LA rain outside an Enterprise rent-a-car. We both need rentals because our Cars are in the shop, mine because my Car is having trouble being Phone, and what good to me is Car if it is not also Phone?!

Kind Enterprise Guy who is very much just trying to get through his Day, with a brightness covering a deep shame: Okay, so! Unfortunately, all we have right now is Minivans.

Corporate guy and I exchange a quick, telepathic look, communicating one thing: DISPROPORTIONATE HORROR AND DISGUST.

Me: Are you sure you don’t have anything else?

Enterprise Guy: I’m sorry, no —

Me: I mean, anything, do you have like a truck?

Enterprise Guy: No —

Me: A bike? Some rollerbades? A large banana?

Enterprise Guy: No. I’m sorry.

Me: Because I would rather drive a large banana than that Van.

Enterprise Guy: we really, um. Don’t have anything else.

The Corporate Guy and I both release sighs so big, the Enterprise Guy has to take two small steps back. 

Me: Okay, then. Thank you, but I’ll just walk to Santa Monica. And when my feet get tired, I’ll just walk on my hands until my hands become feet. I WILL LITERALLY DO ANYTHING TO NOT DRIVE THAT MINIVAN.

Corporate Guy: WHAT SHE SAID.

Corporate Guy and I set off on foot. 

Corporate Guy: Are we ridic-

Me: YES, BUT WITH PRIDE. CARE TO WALK WITH ME THIRTY MILES TO THE OCEAN?

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, LA angst | No Comments »

Why I’m Tired

February 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I hate it when people are like, I’m so busy and tired, here’s why I’m so busy and tired, and yet, I feel compelled to document the absurdity that was January. And so I’ve gathered these facts, for my own amusement, and maybe yours:

January 4th, my last This is Us episode started pre-production.

Jan 6th, The Cake started rehearsal in NYC.

January 10th-11th, the This is Us writers went to Vegas where I ate all of the tequila and the hotel moaned all night like it was crying, preventing any sort of sleep.

January 12th, I (with consistent help from Morrison, who managed to turn it into a weird game) started shooting myself up with hormones twice a day, in hopes of harvesting some eggs / making us some embryos at the end of the month.

January 15th my episode started filming. I gave myself shots each morning and night, worked 12 hour days, grew increasingly tired and perhaps emotional, but perhaps maybe it’s normal to sob when you pass teachers protesting in the rain? I stole naps when I could. I tried to focus. I humbly ate from whatever trough of mashed potatoes was provided between scenes.

January 21st my episode wrapped.

January 22-27 I spent each day at the doctor, getting bloodwork and ‘wandwork,’ if you will, increasing hormone dosages, crying at fingernails, drinking whole grain goldfish crackers like vitamin water.

January 28th I went under, eggs came out (TO GREAT SUCCESS / MORE ON THAT LATER.)

Jan 29th I flew to NYC with IV tape gum still pulling at my arm hairs to check in with The Cake, watched three days of run-throughs, gave notes,  continued to try and understand and communicate my play, saw some shows, saw some favorite people, ate meatloaf alone, had some meetings about some potentially very exciting new things. Last night, I got to the airport, found an empty outlet, dropped my things, collapsed onto a weird stool and just sat there, and realized, that I was exhausted.

And just for a moment I wondered, Why?

REALLY BEKAH? REALLY? WHY?

And then I realized that I was so tired because my dreams are coming true, sort of slowly and immediately at the same time.  And then I realized that when dreams come true, it’s exhausting. And then I decided: if you’re not careful, you’ll actually  miss your own dreams coming true. You’ll confuse them with fatigue. Then I decided to forever try and associate Tired with dreams coming true. Except of course when I am actually, really just tired, in which case, I will just GO TO SLEEP. GNIGHT, SEE YOU IN MARCH

Posted in a lot, babies, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, lies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, the making of babies, the writing of drama plays, theater, things | No Comments »

Patterns

January 25th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I know that the way I’m thinking about this is Crazy —

Therapist: Let’s not call it ‘Crazy.’ Let’s call it…..’Consistent with your Patterns.’

Me:…WHICH ARE CRAZY?

Therapist:…which are your Patterns.

Me: But are my Patterns weird? I mean, are they normal?

Therapist: ….They are your Patterns.

Me: Now I’m worried about my patterns and feeling guilty for having them. Wait, am I doing the Patterns right now?

Therapist: Yep.

Me: I FEEL SO CONSISTENT WITH THEM

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

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