bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

how to dance with (near) your parents

November 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Going through tiny baby brother Tim’s recently released wedding pictures, and I’d just like to leave these here, as a helpful guide, for the next time you’re at a wedding with your parents, and just aren’t sure what to do with your body / face:

Posted in family, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

Be that House

October 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve always wanted to be that House that gives out Whole Candy Bars at Halloween, and this year, now that we are finally in a house that might actually get some trick or treaters,  WE ARE.

Not pictured: desperate and over-enthused compliments of costumes, unsolicited words of encouragement and weird voices,  awkward demands for tricks, all of which we will ALSO be handing out, but just do not fit in any sort of bowl.

 

 

Posted in a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

cookie as feeling

October 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just walked through a wave of butterscotch and was immediately yanked back to winter at our Will Scarlet Road house where my Mom sliced seven layer cookie bars into Christmas tins for freezing, warm butter clumped with coconut, warm house, warm walls, where late at night I snuck frozen pieces out of the tins tucked into the freezer part of the fridge in the garage, snuck back into warm house, warmer walls, and now I have a violent need go home and make them, by which I mean Practice my Religion of Choice.

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

Always Real

October 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Two years of marriage today. One of the things that first jarred me about my dear husband when I first met him has more and more become my absolute favorite thing about him: he will not force anything. Like, ever at all. And so, every single moment you get with and from him is 100% authentic, truly felt. It’s not always perfectly timed, which is a thing I like to force — but it’s Always Real. Take last night, when we were having a drink before our final performance of the Cake:

Him (after a long silence:) I had a thought earlier about working together, on this play. Like a profound thought.

Me: Oh yeah?

Him: Yeah, but I can’t remember it.

Me: That’s okay —

Him:….(most beautiful, kind thing about working together on the play)

Me: (stunned silence)

Him:……just pretend I said that tomorrow, on our anniversary.

Me: OKAY FINE. LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Him: Man. These are great fish tacos.

Me: OH, WE’RE MOVING ON? OKAY

 

Posted in a lot, boys, how interesting, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

Distinguished Alums

October 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Ever heard this one? A Dean of a Business School, a 30 YO FEMALE COUNTY COMMISSIONER WHO FIGHTS FOR FREE LUNCH AND EQUALITY AND DIGNITY FOR ALL STUDENTS AND WHO ALSO LOOKS GREAT IN BLUE AND KNOWS JUST WHERE TO PUT HER HANDS IN PICTURES, and a playwright who got her hair straightened so she wouldn’t chew on it while they called her name,  stand in front of a book case in a beautiful alumni building, and — they just stand there, feeling distinguished, not quite knowing where to look or who to thank, feeling so old but so young, wondering when they can eat, where they can pee, who they should thank, doing the mental math of how did I get there, and when did I become Not Nineteen, and  what did I do to deserve this honor and I’ve just been doing my things, and suddenly it’s years later, and look what I’ve built and how will I express my gratitude in words?, especially the playwright, who is meant to be good with words, but who can only think, what do distinguished people do with their Hands, in Pictures? 

 

Posted in a lot, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, YAY | No Comments »

No Service

September 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last week, we filmed for a long, hot day beside a Desert Lake 50 miles outside of a LA (and yes, Desert Lake is very much a thing, not to be confused with Dessert Lake, which thankfully, or sadly, is not.) There was no service at Desert Lake, and so I spent a full 12 hours with no phone.  It also happened to be the morning of the Kavanaugh Trial / Hearing / SNL sketch, and instead of agonizing over my lack of service, I felt an odd peace, NOT being able to listen or watch. By mid-day, on our lunch break, I found myself wandering down the side of a Desert Hill, not to be confused with Dessert Hill, with a wonderfully wandering brain. Like the free-est brain I’ve felt in a long, long time. I crossed paths with a A Desert Deer, and we both stood for a few still moments and stared at each other, before it ran off to find to crew’s leftover fried fish or audition for a Disney musical. And I stood there some more, reflecting on all of the times in my life when I’ve have profound crosses with Deer. That time at that summer theater residency when one hot day, I saw a deer ramming its head into the glass of a men’s clothing store. That time Morrison and I saw a deer swimming in the ocean. That time my Dad and I saw a deer trying to swim across the lake. And just the fact that my mom loves Deer. Loves to stop and look at them whenever she passes them. And I wondered, what does it all mean? What is it with my Life, and Deer? Did I use to be a deer? Will I one day be a deer? And I wandered down the desert hill back towards set, wondering this. My point: I am probably not, nor was I ever, nor will I ever be a deer, but I think that my phone has taken away some of my wondering. It’s clouded up some of my space for thought. And every now and then, I should put it aside, or pretend like it’s not even there, like there is no World except for the one right in front of me.

Posted in a lot, animals, hmmmmm, how interesting, YAY | No Comments »

when life pulls you inside

September 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

We were filming in a residential neighborhood Friday, and on our lunch break, I decided to power walk around it, to make up for all of the 27 tiny snickers bars I stress-ate between shots. As I stress-walked, I stress-thought about all of the things I needed to do, all of the undone things, both immediate and future, we need a lamp for the living room and I need to rewrite that movie and when will I become a pregnant person, and DID I fracture a rib when I face planted while stress-jogging last weekend, or what is that pain near my heart, is it just heart-pain? Or is it a slowly breaking heart? Then suddenly, a voice from a door, an old, sweet voice. It was a tiny old woman, pleading with me from her front step:  please come over, please come inside, I need your help. I went right over, and she kept pleading with me, lost and close to tears,  I need something, I don’t know what it is, but I need you to tell the neighbor, I already told her son, but I can’t remember why, I — her nurse stood behind her, with an over it look that infuriated me — it’s good that you’re here, she’s not authorized to — and I need someone to know, so it’s good that you know. I just need to get to my chair. Please help me get to my chair. And she took my hand, and I helped her inside, into an untouched living room, that she once lived in but now did not recognize, and we got her onto the couch. She took a few breaths. It’s good you’re here. It’s okay, now. You can go. But you come back, any time. Leave your address. I got her name, told her mine, and left. My walk back to work was thoughtful and present and slow. All stress, gone. All I could think of was how incredible it is it be trusted, and that there are people, and that they trust each other, and that they get old and no one sees them anymore, that the young people whir around them worrying about things they can’t control, that they stand lost in their own doorways, waiting for a young person to pass by.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, life, the future, the whole world, tout | No Comments »

Claydate

September 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The members of my vintage YA book club and I are very much adult people, but we were once children who hid in our rooms from the sun, allergic to back sweat and socializing, instead crafting and reading books, so naturally, for yesterday’s meeting, I got us a bunch of children’s modeling clay, and naturally, this happened:

Island of the Blue Dolphins, revisited: meh. MODELING CLAY FOR GROWN-UPS: ALWAYS.

Posted in a lot, awesome, how interesting, i am a grown up, YAY | No Comments »

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