bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

JE SUIS KARDASHIAN

February 10th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on the perks of  growed up life:

I LOVE HOTEL GYMS. They make me feel like an heiress to the Skittle Dynasty who must spend three hours a day on her personal elliptical machine, surrounded by minors, to compensate for all of the Skittles she eats.

Posted in a lot, awesome, famous people stuff, ha, i am lucky, narcissism, women | No Comments »

millennials

October 14th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hi, I am now officially old enough to be annoyed by those younger than me and pass judgement on them and pretend I’m happy to be older / wiser, while secretly also doing a lot of the things they do and also desperately wishing I could still eat bread and drink more than a glass of wine and not wake up with a headache. Hi! Overheard this morning while waiting for my eleven dollar coffee which I can totally afford because I’m old, dammit:

Young barista: Hey did you know that facetious is –

Other young barista (RAPIDLY INTERRUPTING): IS THE ONLY WORD WITH ALL OF THE VOWELS IN ORDER A-E-I-O-U.

Young barista: Yeah.

Beat.

Young Barista: I don’t know what facetious means.

Other young barista: Yeah, me neither.

Posted in a lot, awesome, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i have peace, narcissism, oh nooo, words | No Comments »

one of one hundred you’s

September 16th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

When we’re little, we are told that we are special. When we are medium-little, especially if we are artists, we tell OURSELVES that we are special, we cling to the things that set us apart, to the specifics of our narrative that make us compelling and unique.   I think a big part of growing up, like truly growing up, and I don’t mean paying your own rent / having your own health insurance, I mean reaching some semblance of emotional maturity — is accepting the fact that WE ARE IN FACT NOT UNIQUE. Sure, you grew up in a funeral home or in a military family or partially in Prague but guess what, SO DID A LOT OF OTHER HUMANS.  To grow up is to have the humility to accept this. There are things that make you special, sure, there is each moment of your life that you have uniquely inhabited,  but  there is no need to declare your preferences, to shout about your time abroad. You are a cog in the wheel, you are a part of a larger thing, you are just light, slowed down.

Posted in how interesting, i am a grown up, life, narcissism, whining, words, worrying | No Comments »

INFP

September 11th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, my coworker looked at me and declared that I’m an INFP personality type, which sent me straight to the internet to learn more about myself / the way am I perceived, so that I might learn more about myself and become even more entrenched in / obsessed with my own self. The internet! I’m pleased to announce that as an INFP, am I focused on making the world a better place for humanity, and am deeply concerned about other people, therefore I am protected from all accusations of  narcissism. Rather I am trying to further understand myself, apparently, so that I might serve YOU. Reading further descriptions of my type, I feel as if I’ve met someone that is exactly like myself but THAT PERSON IS MYSELF. Read:

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don’t understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it’s not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

HEY GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

And so who are YOU? How can YOU justify your flaws, spin them into a narrative  in which you are a most complicated person? FIND OUT HERE!

Posted in how interesting, life, narcissism, words | No Comments »

a nice drunk

July 13th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Occasionally I drink one too many vodka grapefruits, which is to say, whenever I do not alternate each with a bucket of water, or consume them with suitable stomach carb-base of an entire tray of tater tots, and perhaps get a little sloshed, which may or may not have occurred at the the SAB wrap party last night. But when this happens, not that it happened last night at all, at least I’m nice about it. Drunk Bekah is kind, over complimentary, sentimental at worst. She wants you to know how amazing you are and how lucky she is to know you. She wants to shout compliments at you and make plans with you to go surfing tomorrow. If you’re black she wants to tell you how much she loves Kendrick Lamar. If you’re a girl of any kind she wants to tell you that you’re beautiful. If you’re her boyfriend:

Drunk Bekah: I wanna tell you something right now. Listen to me. Are you listening?

Morrison: ….Yes?

Drunk Bekah: Are you listening?

Morrison:….Yes.

Drunk Bekah:….you’re gonna be a really great Dad.

Morrison: I know. You already told me that.

Drunk Bekah: when?

Morrison:….five minutes ago.

Drunk Bekah: well I’m saying it AGAIN.

Morrison: okay….thanks. Hey, let’s get you some advil.

Drunk Bekah: YOU ARE THE GREATEST MAN ALIVEEEEEEE!

Posted in a lot, awesome, life, love, narcissism, oh nooo, trying too hard, whining, women | No Comments »

I’lllllllll TAKE it!

January 19th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

The Veruca Salt gals told me I look like the brunette sister from First Aid Kit, a Swedish sister singer songwriter duo. So, being obsessed with myself, and curious about how my face is perceived by other humans, I googled them:

BEKAH, IS THAT YOU?

I think it’s kind of true? More importantly, I am now obsessed with them: their hats, their harmony, their assorted dresses and sweaters, their Fleet Foxes covers. Check them (me) out!

Posted in awesome, music, narcissism, women | No Comments »

Margaret Me

November 11th, 2013 by Bekah Brunstetter

Given the amount of times that people have yelled MARGARET! at me outside my office, which is twice, which is twice more than none, I am left to assume that, somewhere, wandering some vast Santa Clarita parking lot, there is another Me, who looks like me. Margaret Me, we should meet / swap clothes / war stories / lives. You could help me understand Me.

Posted in a lot, i am scared, narcissism | No Comments »

y’all.

November 8th, 2013 by Bekah Brunstetter

These’re tryin times. Violence and instability and everybody all up and arms every which way bout every which thing. Hard to know which way is what. Probably time to start experimenting with lip gloss and wearing your bangs to the side, because like really, What else do you have control over?

WHAT. ELSE.

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I TWIT

September 30th, 2013 by Bekah Brunstetter

After actively resisting for years, I signed up for Twitter, and I’m already overwhelmed / overthinking / drowning in inadequacy, and I’ve already accidentally tweeted MYSELF. What do I tweet that’s different from what I blog? Should I tweet at other people, retweet their tweets? AM I TRENDING YET?

Posted in arrogant art things, narcissism, whining | No Comments »

I am annoying.

July 1st, 2013 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’d say there are a handful of perfectly nice people that for whatever reason, I just find deeply annoying. And so, logically I can assume that there are probably a handful of people that find ME deeply annoying. I think about this more than I should, and sometimes, I wonder what they say to themselves in their head about me when they’re feeling  particularly annoyed.  And then  I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to give voice to this, so that people who are annoyed by me will have some sort of script to go off of, at least when reading my blog? (But if you’re annoyed by me, and you read my blog, just don’t read my blog.) Here goes!  Those annoyed by me: follow script!

Deeply annoyed person: Ugh. Bekah is so annoying. Who does she think she is? Why is she so obsessed with showing us her dresses?!  If I see one more selfie of her showing us a necklace or holding some form of whimsical candy I am going to shoot someone. And she doesn’t even have any actual strong opinions on anything that is not a bread or shoe. She’s kind of an idiot. Ugh. I don’t CARE that she trimmed her bangs!

That actually, uh. Felt pretty good.

Clearly this ‘lots of time to think and write’ thing, is uh, so far, going pretty well.

Posted in narcissism, whining | No Comments »

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