bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

furniture shopping for drunks

November 4th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Furniture salesperson: This couch features crypton fabric. You can spill anything on it, and it just beads up, then you wipe it off with a rag! It’s resistant to everything!

Me:….even wine?

Furniture salesperson:Yep! Even wine.

Me: So….I can accidentally spill an entire glass of red wine all over it and it will be totally fine?

Furniture salesperson: Yep!

Me: I’LL TAKE IT! / CALLS APPLE STORE, ASKS IF COMPUTERS AND ALSO PHONES COME IN CRYPTON

Posted in YAY, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, worrying | No Comments »

how to move

October 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

- Procure boxes

- Look at all of your worldly items, take them all in, ask yourself why you’ve kept them, now they’re dirty, falling apart, or remind you of bad times, or of being a kid in a bad way, but maybe the weight of the pages is supposed to make you feel some sort of success, an accumulation of something, maybe just Years?  but look!  you appear to have spilled mustard there, and there’s a crease on that, and that one has bugs inside of it, and this one you could never really get clean, and that one is just broken, so why keep it at all, except for a few of the books, and a shoe?

- Leave it all there except for a few of the books

- Go to your new house

- Congrats! You moved

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have | No Comments »

how to remember things

October 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Remember that one time this Summer when both the LA times and the NY times ran articles about The Cake within the span of a week, and it was completely insane and perhaps everything I’ve dreamt of / worked for, but I was  so engaged in the work and in life that I barely had time to appreciate it? NO? ME NEITHER.  IF ONLY I HAD SAVED THE ARTICLES AND THEN SPENT WAY TOO MUCH MONEY TO GET THEM FRAMED, ONLY AFTER QUESTIONING IF IT WAS NARCISSISTIC, BUT THEN DECIDING THAT IT WAS DEFINITELY WORTH COMMEMORATING.

OH WAIT NEVERMIND, I FORGOT, I DEFINITELY DID THAT

Posted in YAY, a lot, how interesting, i am lucky, life, narcissism, the writing of drama plays, theater, things, things that I Have | No Comments »

Look at me / Don’t look at me

October 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Being that I almost have a grown up person house of my own, it is finally time for me to stop storing things at my parent’s house like a college freshman.  My Mom most recently shipped me my old  jewelry box full of cross necklaces and broken promise rings and this bracelet that I made in high school or perhaps middle school, which I think sums up my entire existence:

I think I thought it was ironic, to have someone Look at my Bracelet and see the word Look? (This bracelet of course brought to you by the budding playwright who, around the same time, wrote a play called Happen in which nothing Happens.) Or maybe, if we go deeper, I just wanted to be looked at, then horrified at the idea that I was being looked at, but then devastated if no one was looking.  Is this the quintessential teenage person experience, or is this perhaps just THE BEING A PERSON EXPERIENCE?

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, narcissism, theater, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining | No Comments »

marriage song

September 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Now that I’m a locked down and spoken for and happily married woman person, I truly have only one regret: I can no longer be spurned or rejected by someone I’m deeply in love with.  More specifically, I can never again sing-scream through  tears  I’LL GET OVER YOUUUUUUU, I KNOW I WILL, I’LL PRETEND MY SHIP’S NOT SINKING, AND I’LL TELL MYSELF, I’M OVER YOU, CAUSE I’M THE KING OF WISHFUL THINKINGGGGGGGGGGG. I mean, I can sing it all I want, and believe you me, I do. But it’s not the same. Woe is not me. Instead, comfort is me. Warmth and stability are me. Perhaps instead: I’LL BE MARRIED TO YOU / I KNOW I WILL / I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ALL YOUR SOUNNNNNDS MEAN / AND I’LL TELL MYSELF / LET’S STOP BY TRADER JOES ON THE WAY HOME BECAUSE I THINK WE’RE OUT OF OLIVE OIL?

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i have peace, love, things that I Have, tout, wanting, words | No Comments »

re: moving up in the world

September 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

This past year has held a lot of big life moves and changes: marriage, house, producer-ing, but most of all, THERE IS THE FACT THAT I NOW OWN MY OWN CHUNK OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR TO ADD TO MY OWN HAIR SO THAT MY OWN HAIR MIGHT APPEAR TO BE LARGER.

If you had told 13 year old me that one day I would purchase a section of someone’s else’s hair and pay people to put it into my own, I, nonplussed, woulda said yep. Yeah. That makes a lot  sense.

Posted in YAY, a lot, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

Clutch.

September 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I need a clutch for the Emmy’s, I mean, literally just a small purse to hold that I can put my phone in, that I might Clutch in a picture. I don’t where women find these, but I can’t seem to find a normal looking one, like just a small stupid black purse to put things inside of. I guess I have no choice but to go meta and clutch this hand clutch.

GO META OR GO HOME AMIRIGHT

Posted in ....ew, I write for television?, LA angst, a lot, i am lucky, things, things that I Have, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

never present

August 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Were I to be doing self-reflective inventory of my best and worst qualities, I would say that one of the worst is that I am NEVER. PRESENT (except of course for our wedding reception, during which I shouted at people I FEEL SO PRESENT! Which maybe made me, say, 30% more present.)  I’m always minutes if not months ahead, instead of just being where and when I am. Case in point: ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS WHAT FOOD I WILL MAKE AT OUR HOUSEWARMING SLASH CHRISTMAS PARTY IN DECEMBER. How I will lay it on the table. How I will turn grapes into santa faces, how I will arrange the Cheeses, how I will stack the seasonal napkins, fan them out. I truly wonder, when I am inside of said Housewarming slash Christmas party, WILL I EVEN ACTUALLY BE THERE?

Posted in YAY, a lot, holidays, how interesting, i am lucky, things that I Have, trying too hard, whining, words, worrying | No Comments »

I used to be fun

August 23rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Three years ago this week, I was gallivanting around Iceland,  hiking various glaciers and swimming in various lagoons. This week, in checking Lowes.com everyday to see if their Labor Day sale as started so we can buy a fridge and a dishwasher. I’m not mad the change, tho. Given that last night we legit spent happy hour deep in the world of kitchen faucets, I think that THIS IS NOW MY IDEA OF FUN.

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, life, memories, the future, things, things that I Have, vacay's, where i want to live | No Comments »

effective marketing

August 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I somehow ended up on the Upper Middle Class Women who love Tshirts that Say Socially Conscious Things especially if they are Soft listserv, and I’m not mad at it. Last week I got an email advertising this shirt from Everlane / The Human Rights Campaign:

Within SECONDS I had ordered one, because I am in fact 100% human, by which I mean 100%  SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING THAT IS GEARED DIRECTLY AT ME.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

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