bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

grown up spread

May 29th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

We had some friends over for a barbecue yesterday. Most of the conversations revolved around work and real estate and school districts and gestational diabetes, really confirming my suspicion that we are in our mid-30s. As for my grown up self, I obsessively and gleefully arranged trays of condiments and made colorful salads and put them into bowls:

BUT WAIT ACTUALLY, I’ve loved to do that since I was in my 20s, if not teens, if not childhood, which confirms my other suspicion that I’ve actually been in my mid-30s FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Posted in YAY, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, vices, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

squatstetters

May 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am very bad at squats but I keep trying to not be bad at them. Some people do them like they spent their entire womb-life squatting, like they are actually followed around by a series of invisible chairs, but I do them desperately, like I’m constantly falling, like I was born without muscle. But instead of being upset about my poor form and utter lack of athleticism, it makes me kind of happy, because I recently discovered that my brothers can’t do squats, either. We are just all genetically pre-disposed to not doing squats, for whatever reason. Not only is this a remarkable excuse for squatting like I’m pooping really cold play doh, it also just reminds me that I have three brothers, and no matter where we all are, we are connected, and we are the same, and we cannot squat.

Posted in ...sports?, brothers, family, hmmmmm | No Comments »

you wear what you eat

May 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes, purely for my own glee and relaxation,  I google a random thing and Dress and just look at the pictures. Bacon dress. Car dress. Infinity dress. Question dress. Today: Salad dress:

VOW RENEWAL ANYONE? ANYONE? NO? K I’LL JUST BE OVER HERE EATING MY BRA

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, a lot, hmmmmm, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing | No Comments »

that part is God

May 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

One of the many things I like about hanging with Morrison’s family is that his Dad has a brain like an inquisitive encyclopedia stuffed full of knowledge,  spanning back centuries, and sometimes centuries into the future. We tend to get into big conversations, like the other night: is life, in fact, too inexplicable to be random? Is it, in fact, a just simulation? If we’ve come so far as a race to be able to create simulations of a race, how do we know that we are not a simulation that we created? Not his Dad’s theory per se, just a theory that he passed along, that’s currently popular.  I, along with his Mom,  of course found this idea to be deeply upsetting, and I ended up shouting something like BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CONSCIOUSNESS?! We eventually arrived at this idea: all of the scientists forever could gather in a big old science room with all of their science tools and studies and books and data, and there would still be parts of the world  they could not explain, not matter what. To me, that part is God. I don’t know if he IS that part, but that’s where he lives, or rather hides, or rather, waits.

Posted in a lot, faith, family, generally, hmmmmm | No Comments »

creatures

May 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

A massive sea creature that is maybe a squid or a whale or some new sort of thing just washed ashore in Indonesia. Among  questions like WHAT and WHY, I am pondering this: isn’t it crazy that some creatures on earth look like this:

and others, this?

And then even others, this?

Posted in Uncategorized, a lot, animals, ha, hmmmmm, the whole world, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing | No Comments »

Light Reignfall

May 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today I patroned Light Reignfall, a temporary light exhibit / perceptual cell at LACMA, described by the artist James Turrell as  ’an intense experience….that reveals the multidimensional power of light and the complexities of the human eye.’ The participant selects either hard or soft light, and I selected hard so as to not be perceived a wuss.  It’s meditative and trippy and momentarily terrifying. I think that ‘Light Reignfall’ is a pretty apt name for the experience,  but also might suggest “time to lay in an acid globe and watch strobe lights until your eyeballs start to actually spasm and you start to wonder if perhaps the epilepsy your big brother had as a child is genetic  Oh wait now it’s sort of softening a bit this is nice it’s almost like getting to first base with the space time continuum OH LORD THERE GO THE SEIZURE LIGHTS AGAIN, IS THIS EARTH? WHAT IS TIME?!” Which would of course be much harder to print on a ticket.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am scared | No Comments »

lady vs. woman

May 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Part of an actor’s job is to hunt for meaning and subtext in a writer’s words. The really good and intuitive ones tend to  find something complicated and rich in your play that you did not even know was there. Naturally, it is then your job to pretend that you totally meant to put that there, so that you remain mysterious and painfully intelligent. The actor playing Della (the baker / the hero)  in the upcoming production of my play The Cake asked why  her character sometimes calls herself and other gals Ladies, and other times Women. My initial reaction was that it was just sort of a random choice, as the two are practically interchangeable. BUT ARE THEY?  Kind of not. I looked back through the script and when Della says lady, it’s more casual, colloquial, and when she says woman, she is referring more to herself or other women in the biblical sense, like a woman as wife, a woman as mother, a woman as sex.  Lady is sort of dismissive and quick, while woman has this breadth and depth, like the word itself bears the weight of the entire Role. I think this is explains why every time I hear or see myself described as a woman I feel I immediately feel like I need a better bra but also  that I should start my own business because I could but also I should be washing my husband’s clothes in the river all at once. It might be the biggest word there is. LADIES AMIRIGHT?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, the writing of drama plays, theater, women, words | No Comments »

FACTS (hat)

May 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone is wearing this hat and something about it concerns me. I support facts in all of the their vague factualness, of course, but just because you purchase and wear a hat that says ‘Facts’ does it really mean you are actually invested in the finding of them? For some people, sure, but not necessarily EVERYONE who wears the hat, especially when it’s become a cool thing worn by assorted celebrities and girls running into spin class and boys writing screenplays in coffee bars. You can pop it on your head and project political values. But does it then keep people from the doing the work  to support the values? WHAT IS BENEATH THE HAT?

Posted in factual smarts, generally, hmmmmm, politics | No Comments »

layers of Irony

May 2nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

While I’m an upstanding member of the Writer’s Guild, I can’t say for sure whether or not I actually know the definition of irony, but LET’S TRY and also WHO DOES?  For the past few months, especially weeks, there’s been a tonnage of anxiety about whether or not there would be a WGA strike come May 1st. In the weeks leading up to the potential strike, I found that I actually had no brain or emotional space to worry, as I was too busy re-writing a movie based on The Secret. I gave pretty much NONE mental energy to the strike, and in fact, I convinced myself it wouldn’t happen. CUT TO 1 AM LAST NIGHT, when the WGA negotiators reached a tentative agreement with the Producers. No Strike. DID I JUST IN FACT USE THE SECRET TO AVOID A POTENTIAL WRITER’S STRIKE WHILE WRITING THE SECRET?

Posted in I write for television?, LA angst, a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, words, working | No Comments »

dead mall

April 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Like most kids who grow up in the suburbs, when I was a kid,  I fetishized the mall, like just so deeply and badly needed to get a ride there so I could get my cartilage pierced at Claires or eat a cookie the size of my face or just walk through racks of low-rise pants that didn’t fit me. It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but I am somehow calmed by rows and shelves of Things, organized neatly by color and size. Since I fixated on Malls so much when I was young, I am really disturbed by the fact that they are now dying, so much so that there is now a term for the abandoned or nearly abandoned spaces, ‘dead mall.’ There’s even a term for the abandoned large hub of the mall, the JCPenney’s or Dillards or Sears: that gaping pit emptiness is called a ‘ghostbox.’ There needs to be a word for what I’m feeling — this sense that I am inside of slowly changing world — a world that is moving so fast I barely notice the changes — but every now and then, when I pause, I glimpse the change and it makes my skin buzz and my stomach sink. What is this feeling? Futuresense? Changefeel? DEADMALL?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, memories, tout, trying too hard, words | No Comments »

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