bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Come back

February 15th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Dear the two People who walked out during my play:

Was it something I said, or didn’t say? What is it something I did?

Is it just me? Or did you just have to pee?

Were you just hungry?

Do you want to be followed? Should I follow you?

Should I follow you home and into your house? Should I ask you to show me your heart?

Should I lean in while you show me?

Should I then get up abruptly and leave?

Would you follow me?

Posted in hmmmmm, the writing of drama plays, theater, whining, worrying | No Comments »

WISDOM; CONTROL

February 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Find someone who loves you as much as this Pigeon and I love Goldfish Crackers

LIKE SO MUCH THAT WE CAN ONLY TAKE THEM IN DOSES / WE KNOW IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE FOR US SO WE DO OUR BEST TO BE MINDFUL AND GRATEFUL WHEN AROUND THEM AND RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY AND SPACE

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

give none trucks

February 7th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

The scene: an olderish, corporate-y guy and I stand pissy in the LA rain outside an Enterprise rent-a-car. We both need rentals because our Cars are in the shop, mine because my Car is having trouble being Phone, and what good to me is Car if it is not also Phone?!

Kind Enterprise Guy who is very much just trying to get through his Day, with a brightness covering a deep shame: Okay, so! Unfortunately, all we have right now is Minivans.

Corporate guy and I exchange a quick, telepathic look, communicating one thing: DISPROPORTIONATE HORROR AND DISGUST.

Me: Are you sure you don’t have anything else?

Enterprise Guy: I’m sorry, no —

Me: I mean, anything, do you have like a truck?

Enterprise Guy: No —

Me: A bike? Some rollerbades? A large banana?

Enterprise Guy: No. I’m sorry.

Me: Because I would rather drive a large banana than that Van.

Enterprise Guy: we really, um. Don’t have anything else.

The Corporate Guy and I both release sighs so big, the Enterprise Guy has to take two small steps back. 

Me: Okay, then. Thank you, but I’ll just walk to Santa Monica. And when my feet get tired, I’ll just walk on my hands until my hands become feet. I WILL LITERALLY DO ANYTHING TO NOT DRIVE THAT MINIVAN.

Corporate Guy: WHAT SHE SAID.

Corporate Guy and I set off on foot. 

Corporate Guy: Are we ridic-

Me: YES, BUT WITH PRIDE. CARE TO WALK WITH ME THIRTY MILES TO THE OCEAN?

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, LA angst | No Comments »

Why I’m Tired

February 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I hate it when people are like, I’m so busy and tired, here’s why I’m so busy and tired, and yet, I feel compelled to document the absurdity that was January. And so I’ve gathered these facts, for my own amusement, and maybe yours:

January 4th, my last This is Us episode started pre-production.

Jan 6th, The Cake started rehearsal in NYC.

January 10th-11th, the This is Us writers went to Vegas where I ate all of the tequila and the hotel moaned all night like it was crying, preventing any sort of sleep.

January 12th, I (with consistent help from Morrison, who managed to turn it into a weird game) started shooting myself up with hormones twice a day, in hopes of harvesting some eggs / making us some embryos at the end of the month.

January 15th my episode started filming. I gave myself shots each morning and night, worked 12 hour days, grew increasingly tired and perhaps emotional, but perhaps maybe it’s normal to sob when you pass teachers protesting in the rain? I stole naps when I could. I tried to focus. I humbly ate from whatever trough of mashed potatoes was provided between scenes.

January 21st my episode wrapped.

January 22-27 I spent each day at the doctor, getting bloodwork and ‘wandwork,’ if you will, increasing hormone dosages, crying at fingernails, drinking whole grain goldfish crackers like vitamin water.

January 28th I went under, eggs came out (TO GREAT SUCCESS / MORE ON THAT LATER.)

Jan 29th I flew to NYC with IV tape gum still pulling at my arm hairs to check in with The Cake, watched three days of run-throughs, gave notes,  continued to try and understand and communicate my play, saw some shows, saw some favorite people, ate meatloaf alone, had some meetings about some potentially very exciting new things. Last night, I got to the airport, found an empty outlet, dropped my things, collapsed onto a weird stool and just sat there, and realized, that I was exhausted.

And just for a moment I wondered, Why?

REALLY BEKAH? REALLY? WHY?

And then I realized that I was so tired because my dreams are coming true, sort of slowly and immediately at the same time.  And then I realized that when dreams come true, it’s exhausting. And then I decided: if you’re not careful, you’ll actually  miss your own dreams coming true. You’ll confuse them with fatigue. Then I decided to forever try and associate Tired with dreams coming true. Except of course when I am actually, really just tired, in which case, I will just GO TO SLEEP. GNIGHT, SEE YOU IN MARCH

Posted in a lot, babies, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, lies, life, love, MAWWAGE., the future, the making of babies, the writing of drama plays, theater, things | No Comments »

Taking Notes

January 27th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

As an adult, I have a sort of casual, magical  relationship with church. I like the feeling of showing up when I want, wearing what I want, crying because no one knows me, leaving after I slip some money into the plate. It’s a nebulous relationship, still forming, still deciding itself, but I keep feeling pulled back, especially when I need to pray. But most of all I think I REALLY RESPOND TO THE SERMON NOTES FORMS:

Clean and crisp and waiting for words that won’t elude you. All you have to do is pay attention. It reminds me of elementary and middle school when to find the answer, the One answer, you just have to Listen. I always leave the sermon with some words that resonate for the rest of the week. Today: ‘Step into Fear. Know that God was there before you.’  And also, from Mother Theresa: ‘To be faithful in Little Things is a great thing.’ And ‘one time, on Palm Sunday, we let a Donkey in the church. Are YOU the donkey in the church? ‘

 

Posted in faith, hmmmmm, i am lucky, life, the whole world | No Comments »

Patterns

January 25th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I know that the way I’m thinking about this is Crazy —

Therapist: Let’s not call it ‘Crazy.’ Let’s call it…..’Consistent with your Patterns.’

Me:…WHICH ARE CRAZY?

Therapist:…which are your Patterns.

Me: But are my Patterns weird? I mean, are they normal?

Therapist: ….They are your Patterns.

Me: Now I’m worried about my patterns and feeling guilty for having them. Wait, am I doing the Patterns right now?

Therapist: Yep.

Me: I FEEL SO CONSISTENT WITH THEM

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

THE LIFE CHANGING MAGIC OF KIDNAPPING

January 19th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Marie Kondo: okay, Bekah. I want you to take all of your clothes out of your closets and drawers, pile them onto your bed. Next, take each piece one by one. If it sparks joy for you, keep it. If it does not, thank it for being in your life, then put it in a pile to donate.

Me: Okay!

Marie Kondo:…Why do you have my children?

Me: HMM? OH. They spark joy for me.

Marie Kondo: My children are not your clothes.

Me: BUT THEIR CHEEKS AND TINY DRESSES

Marie Kondo: Please give me my children back?

Me: (as I run away carrying them)  SORRY, NOTHING ELSE SPARKS THIS MUCH JOY, I HAVE TO GO TUCK THEM NEATLY INTO A DRAWER, BYYEEEEEE

 

 

 

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm, Uncategorized | No Comments »

All of it

January 15th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I would like to document this Look that I’ve been curating since I was wee enough to pull off purple pants:

It’s sort of a winning, curious combination of questions, like: Is she being cute, TRYING really hard to BE cute so as to attract attention she claims she does not want, or is she earnestly presenting kindness so as to make others at ease while behind her eyes curating the darkest of thoughts, OR does she just have to pee? A: IT’S ALL OF IT

 

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

HOW TO SLEEP

January 13th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Start worrying about 4 PM about how you didn’t sleep enough last night and so tonight you really must sleep
  • Focus on how tired you are and convince yourself that surely, this means that tonight, YOU WILL SLEEP
  • Have a few glasses of wine to definitely ensure definite amounts of (not real but the appearances of real) sleep
  • Have a cup of Herbal Detox tea right before bed to trick your body into thinking you DIDN’T just drink wine to make yourself sleep
  • Go to Bed
  • LIE AWAKE IN BED FOR HOURS, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN LESS TIRED OR MORE AWAKE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
  • Sleep for five minutes
  • Spiral all the next day, contemplate your sleep problems while sleep-working
  • casually Look at tea
  • REALIZE THAT TEA HAS CAFFEINE, YOU IDIOT
  • MAYBE A TEENY TINY AMOUNT BUT STILL
  • RESOLVE TO NOT DRINK CAFFEINE RIGHT BEFORE BED
  • SLEEP

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

why to let your Dad shop for your Husband

December 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS HAPPENS.

Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact,  it was in fact one of the first things I liked about him,’ and both just sit there, thinking about your husband’s butt, and other time-tested, family holiday traditions.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., silly, YAY | No Comments »

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