bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

how to use a neti pot

August 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

For the last few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some vertigo and lightheadedness (are those the same thing?) that are potentially being caused by sinus stuff, which has lead me to straight to my LIFELONG SWORN ENEMY, THE NETI POT. I know that there are far more dangerous and interesting adversaries, but for whatever reason, I have always told myself I would NEVER take a tiny whimsical teapot full of salt water and dump and it through my nose. AND YET, HERE WE ARE. And so for those of you who have experienced similar trepidation, here’s a quick how to:

  1. Take Neti Pot out of box, stare at it for a few minutes, try and focus on its adorable qualities
  2. Read all of the instructions about ten times, focus on the parts that are like ‘if you put the wrong kind of water in in you will permanently burn and scar your nasal cavity’
  3. Spend an hour boiling and cooling water so as to not burn or scar or poison or ruin your nasal cavity
  4. Fill adorable pot with water, saline packet
  5. Stare at it for another ten minutes, brace yourself for what you’re about to do
  6. Lean over a sink, tilt your head to the left, stick the thing in your other nostril, pour until ‘a gentle stream starts to come out of the other side’ but really
  7. FEEL LIKE YOU’RE DROWNING REALLY IT ALL FEELS LIKE YOU’RE DROWNING AND NOW THE STREAM IS COMING BUT IT’S MORE LIKE A TORTURE DRIP AND OH GOD NOW IT’S COMING OUT OF YOUR EYES, WHAT IS THAT, ARE THOSE TEARS? ARE YOU CRYING SNOT? OH GOD
  8. THROW NETI POT ACROSS ROOM
  9. WAIT 45 MINUTES
  10. REPEAT ON OTHER SIDE

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

I AM FUNNY (?)

August 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on where my brain goes and goes: I sometimes find myself wondering whether or not I’m funny, which is probably not something an actual funny person does, and then I remember that one time six years ago when I met Stephen Merchant because we were both doing the 24 Hour Plays on Broadway, and I had just taken the red eye from LA and he had done the same from London, and when he asked me how I was doing, I said I was pre-tired and he said what’s that? and I said, it’s when you’re not tired yet, but you know you’re going to be very soon, and the thought of how tired you’re going to be makes you very tired and he just sort of looked at me for a few moments, then made this exact face:

and said, that’s funny. You’re funny, and I felt like I deserved my own stand up special, wondered if he would ask me for more jokes for HIS stand up special, then, pre-tired,  we both passed out in soft pile of interns, missed most to all of rehearsal.

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

The Actual Question

August 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone is currently all up in Arms (GET IT? DO YOU?) about downloadable guns, which honestly seem terrifying to me, because how do you even regulate those, but I have a much more macro question / concern: WTF IS A 3 D PRINTER AND HOW DOES IT MAKE ACTUAL THINGS? HOW DO YOU PUT THE STUFF IN IT TO MAKE THE THING? HOW DOES IT THEN BECOME A THING, AND DOES IT FEEL AND LOOK LIKE A THING? NO REALLY PLZ SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BECAUSE I CAN BARELY PRINT A SHIPPING LABEL

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, i am scared | No Comments »

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

July 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

‘LOST RABBIT. Answers to the name ‘Little Bunny Foo Foo.’ We lost our precious little Fuzzy-Wuzzy three days ago when he broke free from his leash on his walk. Our kids are heartbroken and inconsolable.* He loves to cuddle and nap  with you*  but careful, he nibbles on appendages (he’s a carnivore.) He’s a very rare and expensive breed.*  We’re not rich,* BUT A REWARD IS OFFERED.

*this is actually quite sad to me

*unlike…other rabbits?

*please note that he’s very expensive but also DON’T sell him

*BUT WE ARE INSANE, THO

Posted in a lot, animals, generally, ha, hmmmmm, YAY | No Comments »

youth is busy

July 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve been trying to find time to get on the phone with a woman who grew up with my Grandma in Brooklyn. As we were trying to agree upon a time over email, she said something  that I cannot get out of my head: youth is busy. She sits, calm, in a sort of peace, waiting for me to find time to hear all that she has to say, all that I need to hear. Meanwhile, I spiral and vibrate and tremor and doubleback, trying to ‘find’ time when really, it’s right there in front of me. It’s right now.

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, whining, words | No Comments »

BRING YOUR IDEAS TO THE TABLE

July 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

AND PLZ BE QUITE LITERAL ABOUT IT

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, working | No Comments »

HOW TO CRY ON COMMAND

July 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Some people focus on an unrequited need or traumatic memory or the smell of something their grandmother used to make. ME? I JUST LOOK AT TINY YELLOW DRESSES MADE FOR BABIES. I don’t even need for there to be actual babies wearing them. It’s just the mere sight of the dress.

WHAT’S THAT? YOU’RE NOT SOBBING AND TOUCHING THE SCREEN AND FRANTICALLY GOOGLING OTHER YELLOW DRESSES MADE FOR BABIES? MAYBE CHECK AND MAKE SURE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HEART

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

on the nose

July 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I love when I have a dream that is so on the nose, it’s like a sixth grader wrote it for an assignment they were just trying to finish  real fast so that they could hang OUT   with their FRIENDS, MOM! Last night, I dreamt that I was trying to make it to the airport for an flight (80% of my dreams) but ALSO, I was frantically trying to give everyone I knew presents, like carefully laid out mementos with inside jokes and handwritten notes. MAYBE DO I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS MUCH? THANKS FOR THE CRYPTIC MESSAGE, SUBCONSCIOUS!

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, what my friends are doing, whining | No Comments »

favorite brother game

July 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As a girl with three brothers, I like to play a game with myself in which I pick a favorite brother. It’s riveting, as you never quite know WHO I’m going to pick. It’s usually the brother that I most recently hung out with, as whenever I see one of them I leave feeling, now that. THAT is definitely my favorite brother, thus bumping whatever brother I saw previously out of the coveted spot (LIKE I SAID, RIVETING  WITH VERY VERY HIGH STAKES). This week’s favorite brother award goes to Pete, for his buoyant energy and seasonal patriotism:

But then also we’ve got our runners ups, Dan and Tim, who are definitely, without a doubt, my second and third favorite brothers,

who also have no idea that I play this game, nor, I would imagine, do they care. POINTS FOR CONFIDENCE AND EASE / AW HECK, THEY’RE ALL MY FAVORITE

Posted in brothers, family, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, Uncategorized, YAY | No Comments »

Leah

June 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This charm belonged to my great-grandma, Leah Lopin, my middle namesake. I met her a handful of times before she died in the 90’s, and I mostly remember necklaces and laughter and white teeth. This charm lives next to my perfume, and yesterday I stopped and looked it and remembered: she was the first kid to be born in America. Her Jewish parents fled Russia in the early 1900’s to escape religious persecution by the Czar, and by persecution I definitely mean  senseless murder. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, they were welcomed, here. They started a life, here. And so I now have a life, here. Let this never be lost on me, and let it inform and shape my view and activism for those trying to enter from Honduras and El Salvador and Guatemala who only want THE EXACT SAME THING.

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the whole world, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

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