bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

sup, bra?

November 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

For reasons I will surely spend the rest of my life trying to understand, my bra somehow just undid itself under my shirt. Working theories:

- my bra is a twelve year old boy

- somewhere on the Paramount Lot, there is an invisible twelve year old boy

- I am actually a twelve  year old boy

Posted in YAY, hmmmmm, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining | No Comments »

Rosemary Nuts

November 9th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, I happened upon a jar of Rosemary Nuts, and now I can’t stop wondering who she is. Is she an aspiring stand up comedian who lives in a spare bedroom in North Hollywood with a couple she met on craigslist? Does she only ever eat scrambled eggs?  Is she an amateur astronomer? Is she the only woman left in the world who cuts coupons out of the Sunday paper? Does she have a past checkered with parking violations and sinus infections? DOES SHE MAKE HER OWN PUPPETS? IS SHE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NEXT YEAR? OH  WHO CARES WHAT SHE IS SHE’S DELICIOUS

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, women, words | No Comments »

why things Are

November 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Driving to work this AM, waiting at a light, I remembered how when I was little, I wondered, or assumed, or even DECIDED that little people lived inside of the lights, and peered through the glass to see when cars were coming, and changed the lights accordingly. They only slept from 2-3 AM, in a tiny bed built into the roof, and when they were in bad moods, they would keep the light red for an extra two minutes. I miss when my brain used to wonder and decide things that were based in little to no logic. It’s not just that I’m not a kid anymore, it’s also that there is Internet, and within seconds, I can understand how a traffic light works. There are infinite answers, and so less wonder. But what if we decided to pretend to understand how things worked, instead of just looking the answer up, and knowing? WHAT IF INSTEAD GRASS WAS ANGELS’ EYELASHES AND CARS MOVE ONLY BECAUSE OF THE MILLIONS OF TINY DRAGONFLYS THAT LIVE INSIDE OF THEM?  I CAN’T WAIT TO LIE TO MY CHILDREN

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, silly | No Comments »

how to move

October 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

- Procure boxes

- Look at all of your worldly items, take them all in, ask yourself why you’ve kept them, now they’re dirty, falling apart, or remind you of bad times, or of being a kid in a bad way, but maybe the weight of the pages is supposed to make you feel some sort of success, an accumulation of something, maybe just Years?  but look!  you appear to have spilled mustard there, and there’s a crease on that, and that one has bugs inside of it, and this one you could never really get clean, and that one is just broken, so why keep it at all, except for a few of the books, and a shoe?

- Leave it all there except for a few of the books

- Go to your new house

- Congrats! You moved

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have | No Comments »

where I stand

October 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Re: the aforementioned photo shoot, yesterday afternoon:

I enter the La times photo studio, and immediately clock a beautifully lit white table.

Me: ….do you want me like — on the table? Or near it?

Photographer: Oh! that’s for the turkey.


Photographer: After you, we’re shooting the Turkey for our Thanksgiving spread.

Me: Haha! How about me WITH the turkey?


Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, horn tooting, how interesting | No Comments »

Bread; Myself

October 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Myself, reflectively: I should really try to just never eat bread. I feel better way when I don’t eat it, and nobody else in LA seems to eat it, ever.

Myself, 22 minutes later:

Posted in a lot, food, hmmmmm, whining, worrying | No Comments »

you can’t act if you don’t know

October 21st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I stumbled across this excerpt from Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked this way Comes today, and was really struck by it:

“Have I said anything I started out to say about being good? God, I don’t know. A stranger is shot in the street, you hardly move to help. But if, half an hour before, you spent just ten minutes with the fellow and knew a little bit about him and his family, you might just jump in front of his killer and try to stop it. Really knowing is good. Not knowing, or refusing to know, is bad, or amoral, at least. You can’t act if you don’t know.”

Lately,  I  have this overwhelming sense of Not Knowing. Like there is too much to Know and I will never Know all of it. Based on how well my brain retains information it encounters, I’m fairly certain that I do not actually sleep at night, but instead sleep walk to Home Depot, break inside of it, and spend the entire night sniffing paint. But  I don’t want to just give up, abandon trying to Know, become complacent, let my brain stop at recipes and kinds of pants. I want to keep knowing. If this means less sleep, then maybe, SO BE IT.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am lucky, words | No Comments »

Look at me / Don’t look at me

October 18th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Being that I almost have a grown up person house of my own, it is finally time for me to stop storing things at my parent’s house like a college freshman.  My Mom most recently shipped me my old  jewelry box full of cross necklaces and broken promise rings and this bracelet that I made in high school or perhaps middle school, which I think sums up my entire existence:

I think I thought it was ironic, to have someone Look at my Bracelet and see the word Look? (This bracelet of course brought to you by the budding playwright who, around the same time, wrote a play called Happen in which nothing Happens.) Or maybe, if we go deeper, I just wanted to be looked at, then horrified at the idea that I was being looked at, but then devastated if no one was looking.  Is this the quintessential teenage person experience, or is this perhaps just THE BEING A PERSON EXPERIENCE?

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, narcissism, theater, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining | No Comments »

why to invent a time machine

October 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

There are many reasons to invent a time machine, including but not limited to stopping my cousin from walking in on me changing into my bathing suit at the family reunion that one time,  murdering Hitler, checking out my Great-grandparents just to see that if it’s true that I’m  genetically pre-disposed to being overweight, and just curiosity, in general. But mostly it’s to BE IN THE PLANTER’S CORPORATE OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT SOMEONE CAME UP WITH NUT-TRITION.

What happened after the person said it? Was it met with — skepticism? Did anyone say, no, it’s too obvious, it will never work! Or did everyone slap themselves across their own faces and shout WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF IT FIRST? IT’S SO OBVIOUS! IT’S RIGHT THERE! STUPID BARBARA! TWELVE YEARS IN ADVERTISING AND YOU DON’T SEE NUT-TRITION?! Did the person then stand on the conference table, take a long and solemn bow, then retire? Or are they still in an office somewhere, trying to top their last triumph? (HINT TO PERSON:  YOU NEVER WILL)

Posted in a lot, awesome, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

re: how contractor’s kids go to college

October 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Contractor: Sorry, we have to rip a bunch of gaping holes in the walls all throughout the house that you guys just bought with all of the money you’ve ever had and then some.

Us:….Okay, why?

Contractor: To fix all of the faulty electrical work so that you don’t all die in a house fire which would, you know, be kind of lame, given how hard you have worked to obtain said house, and you know, life.

Us:….Okay, sounds good, let’s do it. Rip them holes, fix them wires.

Contractor: It will cost ten grand.


(A month later)

Contractor: Okay, the wires are fixed!


Contractor: Would you like me to….close the gaping holes in the wall that I made all throughout your house?



Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, whining | No Comments »

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