bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

It is Well

October 3rd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

With my Soul

(FYI THIS IS MY SOUL)

(MY SOUL IS SEASONAL; DELICIOUS)

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, holidays | No Comments »

I’m just a Girl

September 1st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Standing in front of a boy

Who is technically her husband, at a Food Festival slash Fair

asking him to love her

and by love her I mean GENTLY DEMANDING THAT HE WIN HER A STUFFED ANIMAL AND HAND IT TO HER CEREMONIOUSLY, AS SHE ALWAYS DREAMT WOULD HAPPEN, MOSTLY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, BUT PERHAPS THIS DREAM LINGERED WELL UNTIL HER EARLY 30’s, UNTIL SHE MET THE BOY

Posted in boys, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., things that I Have, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Find it, and Look at it

August 28th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

What is the word for when a writer remembers a quote from something written and it inspires them, but the quote is from something that they themselves wrote? OH RIGHT, NARCISSISM. I keep thinking about these lines from my play The Oregon Trail, in which a young girl is VERY BEGRUDGINGLY traveling cross-country with her sister and Dad.

MARY ANNE: C’mon Jane. Look at the bright side.

JANE: I’m tryin ta. But I just don’t see it.

CLANCY: Find it and look at it.

I keep shouting this at myself in my head. Whenever I feel myself start to drop into anything like self-pity, which sometimes feels like a hot tub full of gummy bears, a warm place I’d like to be. Look at the bright side. Keep turning the thing around or wandering around it until you find it. FIND IT, AND LOOK AT IT.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, faith, generally, hmmmmm, the making of babies, trying too hard, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Mars on Earth

August 3rd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Tulsa has a brand new, 100 acre, 450 million dollar public park called the Gathering Place. It’s beautiful and whimsical and thoughtful and pristine, and in any other major city WOULD GET COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY OUR GROSS HUMAN NATURES. But since Oklahoma as a whole state holds only 3.9 million people (LITERALLY THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE LIVING IN LOS ANGELES)  it stays like this:

MAYBE it’s because I’ve been re-reading The Martian Chronicles, but when I visited,  I had the distinct feeling of being on either on a new version of Earth after Earth has been Destroyed, Or on a Mars that is Pretending to be Earth. ALSO IT’S CALLED THE GATHERING PLACE, which is the most sci-fi name for a park I have ever heard. People float around on boats with ice cream cones, kids laugh like a pre-recorded sound cue, grown-ups stroll, everybody seems blissful and maybe a little high, like they were given the Drug that makes them forget the Past.

Kids slide down a giant Swan, or Banana, Though nobody remembers what Bananas or Swans are. There is only Park.

 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, the future | No Comments »

A Gemini Prepares

July 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I am PITCHING A TV SHOW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, driving around town telling various smart and important people about my images and characters and thoughts,  in the hopes of someday getting a show that is Mine on air,  which I means I am full of two very real, very opposing feelings:

Joy at the opportunity and delirious delight in my own ideas, slightly high from the secret pocket feeling that I’m doing the thing I was put on this earth to Do

AND ALSO:

COMPLETE EXISTENTIAL TERROR AND DREAD, TINGED WITH FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND ALSO GUT-EMPTYING FEAR THAT IT’S ALL BEEN A LIE, THAT I AM IN FACT A LIE, THAT THE ONLY TRUE THING IS GRAVITY

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

What I need to Hear

July 8th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a Sunday morning:

  • I wake up, feeling a need to go to church and be quiet and reflective and pray
  • I Go to church
  • Okay, yes, I get there a few minutes late, but I take my program humbly, receptively, sneak in through the back door
  • I WALK RIGHT IN MID-DEDICATION OF BABIES
  • (For the non-church going readers: this is when new parents bring their babies on stage and dedicate themselves, as parents, to raising their Baby in the church, and the pastor blesses the baby, and the baby pretends to answers questions and all of the childless mothers of Gilead in the sanctuary turn to brownie batter and melt out of their seats and die)
  • I consider TURNING THE OTHER WAY AND RUNNING OUT OF THE CHURCH, and being quite noisy about it on purpose, maybe slamming through some doors, so that everyone knows my pain, and then sits there, putting two and two together
  • I decide, instead, to quietly, respectfully take a seat towards the back and cry quietly, respectfully while the babies are dedicated
  • I Listen to the Pastor as he tells the congregation that this couple in particular prayed and prayed for their daughter Rose; that she was a gift, not an assumption
  • I realize how badly I needed to hear this
  • I sit there, quietly, hearing everything else I needed to hear

Posted in a lot, faith, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the making of babies, the whole world, the worst, whining, women | No Comments »

A Big Day.

June 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

It’s the last day of my 36th year on earth, and it is time for grand changes to announce the passage of time to myself, and so sadly, inevitably, IT IS FINALLY TIME TO THROW AWAY THIS SPORTS BRA I GOT AT A GOODWILL IN CHAPEL HILL, NC IN 2003.

IN MY DEFENSE, AT THE TIME, IT WAS NEW. But over the years it has stretched to the size of a shirt,  lost all its elasticity and is about as supportive as the parents of a kid who says he wants to ‘make memes for a living’ (#SPORTSBRAJOKE / WHERE IS MAMRIE HART WHEN YOU NEED HER?)  I can’t tell you how many times over the last SIXTEEN YEARS I have pulled it out of the drawer and thought, is this the day? Are you the day? Is this over, bra? Suddenly, it is now. Why? Growth and change and SHAME / MOSTLY IT IS SHAME

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, vintage, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

I AM HERE (?)

June 6th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Public Servant opens tonight and sadly I am not there, because I can’t be Everywhere, so I’m across the country wishing it Well.  But I dreamt last night that I WAS there, but I was a hologram, I was a projection from a machine I couldn’t see, I was sitting in the rehearsal room in Pajamas watching the actors prepare, and whenever anyone spoke to me I said I’m so sorry, I’m not really here, and so I’m left to wonder, AM I HERE? AM I TRULY ANYWHERE?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am scared, life, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

Rachel Held Evans, 37

June 4th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

This remarkable person died last month. I somehow managed to not hear about her until AFTER she died, which still feels absurd to me, as her life’s work was questioning her faith while also living in it, finding space within her religion (Evangelical Christian turned Episcopalian) for the marginalized, but mostly — BECAUSE SHE DECIDED TO LIVE A WHOLE YEAR OF HER LIFE AS A BIBLICAL WOMAN AND WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT, LIKE SHE SLEPT IN THE YARD WHEN SHE GOT HER PERIOD AND CALLED HER HUSBAND MASTER, to both honor biblical traditions but also dig into their ridiculousness. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS PERSON? I have since ordered all she’s written, and plan to spend as much time as possible bathing my brain in it. So far, from what I’ve learned from her, this resonates with me the most: Living in faith is better than living in fear. But also, her death has given me a weird gift. She died at the age of 37, a few weeks shy of her 38th birthday, after complications from an infection. I’m turning 37 next week and I’ve been wearing this fact around like a big wet dress. I own 37 but don’t love that I’m becoming it with no kid or motherhood in sight. But reporters and writers  keep calling her YOUNG as they list her profound accomplishments, which makes me feel old but still young, still much to do, much to learn.  And learning Everything this dear person ever wrote and thought is next.

Posted in a lot, faith, famous people stuff, hmmmmm, i am lucky, life, love | No Comments »

Theater as Theater

May 29th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

As a Theater Person, I see a lot of Theater — this trip: Oklahoma! and Hadestown, both remarkable in their own ways and deserving of all of the accolades, BUT — regardless of what I’m seeing, I always have moments of disconnect whenever something super theatery happens. Classic theatery happenings:  someone walking very slowly with an elongated gate from one side of the stage to the other. Someone lifting a chair VERY SLOWLY so that it looks like it’s slow motion. Someone looking out into the audience with profound tears in their eyes, but we’re not quite sure why. I always resist these moments, which is largely unfair, as theater IS theater, but — I think I want to be tricked. I want to be led into a scene so simply and magically that I don’t even know I’m watching a play, because I AM INSIDE OF IT, I live in a world where chairs Fly.

Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

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