bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

HOW TO CRY ON COMMAND

July 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Some people focus on an unrequited need or traumatic memory or the smell of something their grandmother used to make. ME? I JUST LOOK AT TINY YELLOW DRESSES MADE FOR BABIES. I don’t even need for there to be actual babies wearing them. It’s just the mere sight of the dress.

WHAT’S THAT? YOU’RE NOT SOBBING AND TOUCHING THE SCREEN AND FRANTICALLY GOOGLING OTHER YELLOW DRESSES MADE FOR BABIES? MAYBE CHECK AND MAKE SURE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HEART

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

on the nose

July 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I love when I have a dream that is so on the nose, it’s like a sixth grader wrote it for an assignment they were just trying to finish  real fast so that they could hang OUT   with their FRIENDS, MOM! Last night, I dreamt that I was trying to make it to the airport for an flight (80% of my dreams) but ALSO, I was frantically trying to give everyone I knew presents, like carefully laid out mementos with inside jokes and handwritten notes. MAYBE DO I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS MUCH? THANKS FOR THE CRYPTIC MESSAGE, SUBCONSCIOUS!

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, what my friends are doing, whining | No Comments »

favorite brother game

July 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As a girl with three brothers, I like to play a game with myself in which I pick a favorite brother. It’s riveting, as you never quite know WHO I’m going to pick. It’s usually the brother that I most recently hung out with, as whenever I see one of them I leave feeling, now that. THAT is definitely my favorite brother, thus bumping whatever brother I saw previously out of the coveted spot (LIKE I SAID, RIVETING  WITH VERY VERY HIGH STAKES). This week’s favorite brother award goes to Pete, for his buoyant energy and seasonal patriotism:

But then also we’ve got our runners ups, Dan and Tim, who are definitely, without a doubt, my second and third favorite brothers,

who also have no idea that I play this game, nor, I would imagine, do they care. POINTS FOR CONFIDENCE AND EASE / AW HECK, THEY’RE ALL MY FAVORITE

Posted in brothers, family, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, Uncategorized, YAY | No Comments »

Leah

June 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This charm belonged to my great-grandma, Leah Lopin, my middle namesake. I met her a handful of times before she died in the 90’s, and I mostly remember necklaces and laughter and white teeth. This charm lives next to my perfume, and yesterday I stopped and looked it and remembered: she was the first kid to be born in America. Her Jewish parents fled Russia in the early 1900’s to escape religious persecution by the Czar, and by persecution I definitely mean  senseless murder. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, they were welcomed, here. They started a life, here. And so I now have a life, here. Let this never be lost on me, and let it inform and shape my view and activism for those trying to enter from Honduras and El Salvador and Guatemala who only want THE EXACT SAME THING.

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the whole world, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

TOO OLD FOR FIRST TATTOO?

June 20th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

BECAUSE I JUST FOUND THIS:

c. Mark Samsonovich

Posted in a lot, awesome, hmmmmm, YAY | No Comments »

this or that or that or that

June 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

(NOTE: I am never quite sure exactly how to give cred, but this incredible image that perfectly captures my  at once haunting and comical indecision is by Luke Chueh. PEEP HIM NOW.)

I love to organize my time. I’m soothed by plans. Some people like to lie on beaches and listen to the waves. I LIKE TO PLAN, AND IF I HAPPEN TO BE ON A  BEACH, THAT’S ALSO FINE. But my plan making usually goes something like this:

  • Consider all possible plans
  • Labor over all options intensively
  • Choose one plan, commit to that plan
  • TORTURE MYSELF WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF THE OTHER, UNCHOSEN PLANS
  • TRY AND CHANGE CHOSEN PLAN TO OTHER PLAN
  • accept original plan
  • engage in original plan, it usually goes fine
  • Spend some time wishing I could get that time I spent laboring over other, possible plans back
  • Realize I’ve wasted more time on said regret
  • Move on to next plan
  • Lay all options out on the floor of my mind
  • Think of a lego house, and how each small brick fits together
  • but if you leave a space blank, you can make a window

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, whining, working, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

why to feel small

June 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I wish every single person, at the end of every single day, could watch stop whatever they’re doing for a full 45 minutes and be quiet and still and watch the sun go down. It would by no means solve any problems, but wouldn’t it be good to end each day remembering that we are the tiniest of guests?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, the whole world | No Comments »

what is the word for the feeling

June 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

…..when you look at a picture of your Dad as a kid with your Grandparents are your own current age and recognize faces you’ve made and feelings you’ve felt and are suddenly in a single moment aware of past, present and future and it all feels like one thing and you can almost see yourself as a tiny piece of salad caught in your Grandma’s teeth, or in her mind?

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm | No Comments »

hunger (?)

May 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m currently working with a nutritionist, because lately, I can’t seem to stop myself from eating entire bags of goldfish and washing it down with nine bottles of wine which for SOME REASON is affecting my energy levels DON’T KNOW WHY, but also because, I have issues with food that stem back to the fact that I used to feel like food had to be Finished or it was Wasted, and the fact that I wasn’t raised with junk food and so I fetishized it, and also the fact that I thought that bugs lived inside of bagels, which, side note, has never stopped me from eating them.

Yesterday, my nutritionist asked me, when was the last time you were hungry? And I honestly couldn’t remember, though I do spend a fair amount of worrying about being hungry and preventing said future hunger.  She explained that Real hunger is pain in the gut, a rumbling emptiness. Perceived hunger can actually be just thirst, or it can be emotional hunger, it can be hunger for Affirmation or Stimulation or Hug.  I am so disconnected from actual hunger because my the given circumstances of my life keep me from it, grant me the privilege to wander through grocery stores, thinking about all the things I shouldn’t eat, flipping off boxes of cheese crackers, while there are actual hungry people, all over the world, who don’t waste brain and life space hating themselves because they ate a skittle, because they’re too busy being actually hungry, because of the given circumstances of their own lives.  How about next time I perceive hunger, instead of the 17 Lara Bars or whatever thing has been marketed to me because I go on hikes sometimes, I take in that sobering fact, instead? AND WHERE IS THE CHARITY THAT IS TAKING THE EXTRA LARA BARS FROM THE WOMEN WITH FOOD ISSUES AND GIVING THEM TO ACTUAL HUNGRY PEOPLE? AM I A CLICHE OF MYSELF YET? GREAT, OFF TO SNORT SOME BEE POLLEN

Posted in a lot, food, generally, hmmmmm, the whole world, worrying | No Comments »

who I actually Am

May 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Lately, especially in the last few years, I’ve been engaged in a fair amount of Fanciness, and so I want to make sure it’s clear to my readers who I actually Am: I am not a woman with many purses. I just have Purse. Purse goes with me everywhere except for the rare occasion in which I need a smaller purse, in which case, I use Small Purse. As for Purse, it is covered in stains from when my water bottle spills inside of it, which happens approximately once a week. At the bottom of Purse, you’ll find a generous handful of almonds that have been crushed over time by the weight of water bottle and computer and script. Handful of crushed Almonds have been known to stay there for up to six months, as Purse only gets cleaned when it gets so bad inside that when I reach inside to get Computer and I pull out a wet handful of receipts dusted with old crushed nuts. Only then do I empty it all out, begin all over again. And that, dear readers, is Myself.

Posted in ....ew, fancy, generally, ha, hmmmmm, things that I Have, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

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