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Steve: I’ve been watching too many nature shows of chimps killing each other for no reason and it’s making me really sad.

Bekah: They just – kill each other?

Steve: Well they gang up on one of them, for no apparent reason, or because he’s got short legs or something, just because he’s an outcast, and then they all kill him.

(Pause.)

Bekah: Well maybe they have to kill him because they’re protecting their species? It’s not like conscious but they just know they have to kill him because if they don’t, he will have kids with shorter legs, and then they will have kids with even shorter legs, and before they know it, they won’t be able to run from danger. And then they won’t be able to survive. As a species.

(Pause.)

Steve: Well that was the argument the Nazi’s made.

(Pause.)

Bekah: Oh.

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay:

The airports are now more rigorously using full body scanners that sure, are invasive, but it’s totally worth it, and even a good excuse to be less fat

To save us all from Certain Death by bomb in the sky

Oh tidings of comfort and joy

(Comfort and Joy)

Oh tiding of comfort and Joy.

(Also, is that guy wearing a man thong?)

I tend to a lot when I text / write emails. Why? Why do I that? What am I, twelve? I irk myself. A deeper consideration of the could reveal horrible insecurities about being misinterpreted. You because you REALLY need the reader to know that you are being     -y. You do not trust the other person to read your mind. You do not want their feelings hurt, or your intentions not conveyed. And so, we the crap out of our passive aggressive sentences so that at least the is there, and at the end of the day, everyone stays as opposed to

Right? Or, instead we are just all confused. Which apparently looks like this:

The giant / angry inflatable rat is a pretty common sight in the city – pissed off union workers put it in front of office headquarters as they protest for better wages, benefits, etc. Sure. But: where do they GET the giant inflatable rat? Is there a giant inflatable rat store, or website? And Who started and owns said store or  website? Was there a moment in his youth when he decided to rent giant inflatable rats for a living? Did he have an epiphany? Or: is he (or she) a failed playwright, or failed something else?

Hmmmm.