bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

cake eat cake world

August 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

While the Cake here has closed, I am doing some rewrites for the next production of the Cake, and also at work we are talking about a story involving a Cake  (SERIOUSLY: NOT EVEN MY PITCH) and so I think I will now just accept the fact that my life is no longer a life, it is actually a Cake. Air is Cake. Cake is chair. Chair Cake. Cake life. JE CAKE.

Posted in a lot, food, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, i am scared | No Comments »

Room Porn

August 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on HOUSE WE HAVE A HOUSE: we have decided to renovate our kitchen and master bath before we move in. This  involves about 9,000 tiny decisions, but thankfully, my husband has been looking at porn for years. ROOM PORN, that is, which is an actual thread on reddit. And so now, like any couple with a healthy marriage, we look at porn together. Here’s some of our favorites:

OOOOOOH COLOR BLOCKS

OHHHHH YES

MMMM SUCH CLEAN LINES

I COULD TOTALLY PEE IN THERE

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

effective marketing

August 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I somehow ended up on the Upper Middle Class Women who love Tshirts that Say Socially Conscious Things especially if they are Soft listserv, and I’m not mad at it. Last week I got an email advertising this shirt from Everlane / The Human Rights Campaign:

Within SECONDS I had ordered one, because I am in fact 100% human, by which I mean 100%  SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING THAT IS GEARED DIRECTLY AT ME.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

FRAILTY THY NAME IS GARLIC BREAD

July 30th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

To whoever was apparently straight up baking garlic bread outside the spinning studio this morning:  NOT COOL, BRO. Whatever resolve we spinners have summoned to exercise is fragile. We teeter on the edge of stuffed french toast and sweet potato fries. We spin through sides of maple butter and ranch like Brunch was chasing us in a car. IS THERE REALLY NO OTHER PLACE TO MAKE YOUR BREAD AND ALSO CAN I HAVE SOME

Posted in a lot, food, ha, hmmmmm, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

Je Jew!

July 21st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

For my 35th birthday, I gifted myself with a 23 and me kit. Basically you spit into a vial and give the vial to the mailman and a month later they email you and tell you who you are. I am proud to announce that Je 23.5% Ashkenazi Jew. My whole adult life I have called myself a quarter Jewish, since my grandma was Jewish, and because Math,  but maybe I was just sort of clinging  to the idea, as it connected to me some profound past that I longed for. But today, IT IS ACTUALLY TRUE. Based strictly on google image search of the words, I can only assume that this beautiful woman is my great great great grandmother:

As for the other 76.5 percent, it’s mostly mall parking lots, triscuits and hair ties but DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Posted in I'M SO EXCITED, YAY, a lot, history, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i have peace, life, women | No Comments »

RIP OFF

July 16th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I realized something yesterday: I’ve basically spent the last five years writing Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes over and over and over. Now that I’ve realized this, do I have any intention whatsoever of ceasing and desisting? NOPE.

MAY SHE LIVE FOREVER.

Posted in YAY, famous people stuff, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, the writing of drama plays, worrying | No Comments »

lip colored lips

July 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just realized that I paid a decent amount of actual human money for lip stuff that is actual just the color of my lips.

Are my colors fading? Am I an old shirt? Is this getting older? Is getting older purchasing things that make you look not like a better version of yourself, but just like you actually should?

Posted in YAY, ha, hmmmmm, things that I Have, whining, women | No Comments »

all I see

July 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Dear anyone who has made any sort of attempt to interact with me yesterday or today:

I’m once again attempting a juice cleanse, being that I ate approximately nine cakes over the weekend (NOT SORRY) so please just be aware that that THIS IS WHAT I SEE WHEN I LOOK AT YOU:

And so I’m sorry if I try and dip your face in ketchup / ask you if come with a side of a ranch / sprinkle you with salt / try and take our conversation home in a To Go box / LICK YOUR HANDS BECAUSE THEY SMELL LIKE YOUR LUNCH.

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

Re: if I want to get coffee

June 28th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING MUSINGS DO NOT MEAN THAT I DO NOT WANT TO HELP YOUNG WRITERS, I REALLY DO, I JUST HAVE A THOUGHT ABOUT ALL OF THE COFFEES, END NOTE.

Dear Young / emerging / aspiring writer:

1.) I love you. You’re great.  You are going to do great things.

2.) Whenever I get an email from you asking if I can meet for coffee so that you might ask my advice about things, I feel a duty to help you, as when I was a young / aspiring / emerging writer, so many people had coffee with me —

3.)  WAIT. HOLD UP. NO. That’s not a thing. Upon genuine reflection, unless I am completely forgetting large chunks of my past, which is possible, I did not ask anyone to have coffee with me when I was just starting out. I was honestly too busy writing and failing and doing to hunt down email addresses to sit in the hot Sun and drink coffee I didn’t actually want.

4.) And so: I’m not saying these meet ups are fruitless, but every minute you spend in one of them, you COULD be writing. If you’re feeling frustrated because no one sees you or hears you, write about that. If you’re feeling bitter and jealous because everyone around you is getting a leg up and you’re not, write about that. If you’re feeling left out, stepped out, looked over, taken advantage of, invisible, unimportant, GUESS WHAT, ALSO WRITE ABOUT THAT. Every minute you spend looking at me while I anxiously rattle off my resume, YOU COULD BE WRITING, IF NOT LIVING.

5.) Here is my advice,  and you don’t even have to watch me eat a salad to get it: Work a job. Write at night. Take the money from your job. Make what you wrote. LIVE YOUR LIFE! DRINK COFFEE ONLY WHEN YOU WANT IT! DON’T LISTEN TO ME! WRITE YOUR LIFE. FORGET ANYONE AND ANYTHING ELSE EXISTS. FORGET IT’S A CAREER AT ALL. WRITE TO LIVE. That’s the only way the career stuff starts to happen organically — which, trust me, when it comes to anything worthwhile, is the only way it should.

Posted in generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, the writing of drama plays, theater, things | No Comments »

thoughts to eat

June 20th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m trying to eat less sugar and food in general for a minute, since SOMEONE, since their wedding, has decided to eat and drink everything in front of them and also sometimes everything in front of everyone next to them too. And so instead of consuming more than I need to, I will instead spend my lunch break thinking of and looking at pictures of cute / weird food things, like iPhone cases that look like crackers,

and cookies that look like iPhones.

GOSH I’M STUFFED.

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

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