bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

a dream is a wish your heart makes

February 22nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I dreamt that the entire world was made of butterscotch chips. You were made of butterscotch chips. I was made of butterscotch chips. We sat down in chairs made of butterscotch chips, ordered meatballs made of butterscotch chips, bit deep down into them, found more butterscotch. Our chairs began to melt so we sank our teeth into them. A person made of butterscotch passed by. There’s literally no point to butterscotch, person said. It has no nutritional value. The person disappeared. We turned back to face each other. We divided the table into halves, and kept eating. Our teeth swelled in our mouths like balloons. We kept eating.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am scared, life, mes amis, oh nooo | No Comments »

BABY’S FIRST SENIOR MOMENT

January 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on things of little consequence: for months, people have been texting me this little alien face:

Like over and over. To the point where I assigned meaning to it, something like OUT OF THIS WORLD! or YOU’RE WEIRD LIKE FROM ANOTHER PLANET! or LIFE IS STRANGE or THE ALIENS ARE COMING! depending on the context. For months, I never asked the texter what they meant by the little face snug next to confetti and or Santa. Then I met little brostetter Dan’s friend in NYC, Caitie, who is perhaps the coolest girl I have ever met, like she does IT / COMPUTER WORK FOR CHANEL. So when she texted it to me, I decided that this girl, of all people, could shed meaning. This girl knows everything.  I asked, and she said they had no idea what I was talking about. WHAT ALIEN FACE? I spent a few minutes fairly certain that I was losing my mind / that I had been selected by said Aliens as the one member of the human race who would guide them to domination, if they just earned my trust, carefully and through emojis. Caitie, being good with the internet, quickly discovered that it just meant I needed to update my Operating System (O.S., apparently) and so for months, people have been sending me all sorts of thumbs up and tiny pieces of pie and ethnic faces and I’ve just been convinced the whole time that Aliens are a thing that people are now using to express emotion. I would like to officially declare that I am old. I would also like to note that I STILL HAVE NOT UPDATED MY OPERATING SYSTEM / THAT SOUNDS HARD.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, oh nooo, whining | No Comments »

the struggle is real(ly essential)

January 24th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, mid-blizzard, I had to get myself and luggage from the West Village to Midtown with no cabs / 2 feet of snow everywhere / snow banks high as four feet that are, shall we say, not conducive to rolley bags. It was a tiny adventure challenge, but a challenge adventure, nonetheless. Bro Dan offered to help but I refused it, because there is something psychotic in all of us who live or have lived in NYC: WE HEART THE STRUGGLE. It makes us feel strong and alive. I made my way up and down stairs and streets with the biggest stupidest grin on my face, remembering what is was like to have every day be an epic battle of sorts. I wonder if now, in LA, when I feel anxious and I don’t know why, I am sensing the lack of that struggle?  Does the struggle keep us balanced?

No one blinked at the lunatic girl lugging her stuff uptown in a blizzard. Everyone was just like: Yep. Me too, you brave lunatic. Me too.

Posted in a lot, oh nooo, the whole world, tout, where i want to live, whining | No Comments »

HAHAHAHAHAHA

December 26th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

“I LAUGH AT FOOD

THIS PEACH IS HILARIOUS”

– Morrison re: this wedding magazine

Posted in boys, love, oh nooo, women | No Comments »

Pests.

November 15th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m sure I’m not the first person to make this link, but ISIS and its members are like bed bugs, primal and blood thirsty and unpredictable and Everywhere.  I had them forever ago in Brooklyn. They took a year and three stupidly expensive cleaning sessions to kill. I threw away my bed. I lost sleep. I stayed awake and afraid. If I nodded off I jerked up when my own hand touched my leg. I took everything soft I had and ran it through blistering heat. I shook out each of my books and suffocated them in bags. A man in full body plastic came and sprayed every corner of my room. And still, they lived. The  bugs hid in the tiniest of cracks, wanting only blood.   If ISIS members are so willing to die, because for them,  life AFTER this is so much more glorious — how are we ever to stop them? If there are even a few left, they live. The idea survives. How do we stop them? Do we have to trick them or convince them into subsisting off of something else? Would it ever be possible to change their minds? What’s stronger, their humanity or their faith?

Posted in a lot, faith, generally, hmmmmm, i am scared, oh nooo | No Comments »

Inside Out.

November 8th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Finally got to see Inside Out last night — the new Pixar movie in which the emotions that live in our head come to life — and it was of course clever and adorable and touching and all of those things. The viewing of course lead to discussion of what emotion characters inhabit our own heads, who’s running the control board. After careful consideration, I’m pretty sure that at my motherboard is a very worried toddler who has great concern for all things ranging from whether or not there’s going to be a large earthquake to whether or not she’s wearing the the right dress or she should really cut back on Goldfish or at least switch to whole grain to what does God think of me?

It’s definitely either her or this little girl who just wants the Ham.

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, i am scared, kids, le film, oh nooo | No Comments »

THIS IS A THING THAT IS REAL

October 28th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Maybe it’s because last night I fell asleep with Cracker curled in my face nook, but this just ripped my heart open:

UBER FOR KITTENS.

THEY BRING KITTENS TO YOUR OFFICE FOR 15 MINUTES.

YOU PLAY WITH THEM.

THEY LEAVE.

THEY ARE CALLED PURRSONAL ASSISTANTS.

PUNS FOR DAYS.

Posted in animals, love, oh nooo | No Comments »

millennials

October 14th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hi, I am now officially old enough to be annoyed by those younger than me and pass judgement on them and pretend I’m happy to be older / wiser, while secretly also doing a lot of the things they do and also desperately wishing I could still eat bread and drink more than a glass of wine and not wake up with a headache. Hi! Overheard this morning while waiting for my eleven dollar coffee which I can totally afford because I’m old, dammit:

Young barista: Hey did you know that facetious is —

Other young barista (RAPIDLY INTERRUPTING): IS THE ONLY WORD WITH ALL OF THE VOWELS IN ORDER A-E-I-O-U.

Young barista: Yeah.

Beat.

Young Barista: I don’t know what facetious means.

Other young barista: Yeah, me neither.

Posted in a lot, awesome, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i have peace, narcissism, oh nooo, words | No Comments »

OPTIMISM

October 7th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: OH NO!

Morrison: What?

Me: Weather forecast for Bald Head Island for bro’s wedding says thunderstorms.

Morrison: AWESOME!

Me: What?

Morrison: THUNDERSTORM WEDDING!!!

Me:……

Morrison: Right?

Me: Okay, actually yes.

Posted in awesome, brothers, oh nooo, the whole world, worrying | No Comments »

YOU DID IT FIRST.

September 14th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

There are many things I don’t understand, but today I choose to harp on white nationalists, and how they are deeply concerned about the fact that, if things proceed as they are, by 2040, whites will be a minority in the US. They’re using this wariness of ‘white genocide’ to justify all sorts of irrational actions and fears, when THIS COUNTRY WAS NEVER WHITE. WE JUST DOCKED OUR SHIPS AND DECLARED IT SO AND HARDCORE GENOCIDED SOME 80-90% OF THE NATIVE AMERICANS SO HARD THAT WE MADE IT A VERB.

Posted in hmmmmm, life, oh nooo, politics, the future, the whole world, tout | No Comments »

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