bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

LORD HELP ME

June 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

IN AN ATTEMPT TO SOOTHE MY BRAINWHIR, I’VE BECOME A PERSON WHO WRITES PRAYERS AND AFFIRMATIONS (WHICH I’M COMING TO REALIZE ARE THE SAME THING) ON NOTECARDS AND PLACES THEM WHERE I CAN MOST FREQUENTLY SEE THEM

IS THIS A SIGN OF THE END (OR PERHAPS THE BEGINNING)

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, oh nooo, the future, the making of babies, trying too hard, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

how to know you married the right person

May 1st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a Shade guy and his two sons came by to take measurements for some outdoor shades, and as he pulled (barreled?) into our driveway, his brakes failed, and he rammed my car into the garage, taking out one of Morrison’s sideview mirror en route. I was in our bedroom, above the garage,  and the sound can only be described as ENTIRE WORLD GOING THROUGH TRASH COMPACTOR. Morrison runs outside, sees my car like so:

And I hear him through the window, the first thing he says: Are you guys okay? Because he knows what we both know: Cars can be fixed. Garage doors can be fixed. People cannot always be fixed. People > Cars. Morrison > Most people.

Posted in a lot, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the whole world, things, things that I Have | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

I grew up and also I’m a Toys R Us kid

March 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, Toys R Us  announced it will close all of its stores and no longer Be. Last night,  anyone who grew up in the 70s/80s/90s slept curled around memory shadows of Kid Sister dolls  and Ninja Turtle hot wheels and that Thing that you put around one of your Ankles and then Swing it around and Jump over it. All we can do now is Remember, and work out how to explain what it Was to our future kids. Something like:

US: Toys R Us was a big toy store / that

FUTURE KID: What’s store?

US: A big place that sells things —

FUTURE KID: Like internet?

US: No, it’s a big physical, actual place that you go to buy things.

FUTURE KID: Like Amazon?

US: Yes, but you walk into it. With your body.

FUTURE KID: By why not just order it online?

US: Because that was part of it, the going and the looking and the choosing.

FUTURE KID: Hmmm.

US: You’re blinking a lot, what is it, is there something in your eye?

FUTURE KID: Nope!  I Just bought myself a new video game.

US: WITH YOUR EYE?!

(A package THUMPS on the front step.)

FUTURE KID:  OFF TO  SAVE VIRTUAL WORLD, BYE!

 

Posted in life, oh nooo, the future, the whole world, things, vintage, wanting | No Comments »

t’aint always easy

January 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Almost 14 years ago, I carefully glued all of my grad school rejection letters into a scrapbook, and amused myself by highlighting the word ‘regret’ in all of them. I think I sensed that someday, I might want to reflect back on them. My two favorites:

Reflection day is upon me. I am currently experiencing a lot of fortune with the Cake, like really more than a playwright could dream of or hope for (though honestly the bar is low, as having a play produced, in itself, is a miracle.) Meanwhile, I  somehow winded up working on a hit show that is managing to heal and to warm those that watch it (though, so did Switched at Birth, just on a smaller scale.) Reflecting on both of these career fortunes it’s easy to forget all of the Regret to inform You’s, but  I want to remember them and celebrate them, and I don’t know, maybe just a hair bit Gloat? So without further ado, I was rejected from: Columbia graduate Playwriting! NYU Graduate Playwriting! Yale Graduate Playwriting! Boston College MFA Playwriting! Post-grad school, I was rejected not once, not twice, but three times from Julliard, with nary even an interview, and I’ve been rejected by New Dramatists (an elite playwriting residency in NYC)  count ’em, 7 times! STILL STANDING, Y’ALL! WHAT DOESN’T ACCEPT US TO THEIR PROGRAM MAKES US WORK HARDER TO SHOW THEM WHAT.

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, life, narcissism, oh nooo, silly, the future, the writing of drama plays, trying too hard, TV, YAY | No Comments »

unbralievable

September 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m fairly certain that there are really only two types of women: the kind who can go out into the world, say, to the grocery store at 10 PM for toilet paper, NOT wearing a bra, and then the kind who LITERALLY CANNOT LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT FULL BODIED OLD FASHIONED METAL WROUGHT IRON UNDERGARMENTS, LIKE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FEEL OF WIND ON SHAMEFUL SIDE BOOB AREA BRINGS WITH IT A DEEP, DULL SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS ‘BIBLICAL.’  Last night I learned I am definitely woman kind #2. FUN EXPERIMENT THO / LEAPS BACK INTO COMFORT ZONE

Posted in oh nooo, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing, whining, women, words, YAY | No Comments »

humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

August 7th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I think it goes without saying that lately, things have been going pretty darn great for me. But then Saturday, I flitted out of a nice dinner with friends, en route to my play, to find my car COVERED IN BIRD POOP. Not the car to the right of my car. Not the car to the left. ONLY MY CAR. I’m going to take it as a gentle reminder of a hymn I used to sing in youth group, which I think went something like:

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord

Or he

will send birds to poop

poop on your carrrrrrr

Yes he

will send birds to poop on your carrrrrrrr

Posted in a lot, awesome, faith, i am lucky, oh nooo, whining, YAY | No Comments »

I was definitely not born with it

May 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up.

Nice lady: Okay, so like a foundation or a compact or 2 in 1?

Me:….What?

Nice lady: What kind of make up do you normally use?

Me:….I put it on my face?

Nice lady: Okay, probably a two in one. What kind of skin do you have?

Me: Skin!

Nice lady: is it oily or dry?

Me: SKIN.

Nice Lady: Okay! Do you have a primer that you use?

Me: WHAT?

Nice lady: That you put on before your makeup.

Me: Like a moisturizer?!

Nice Lady: No, it’s a different thing that goes on after your moisturizer, before your makeup.

Me: NO I DON’T HAVE THAT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I NEVER LEARNED THESE THINGS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Nice Lady: try these products. And here’s my card with my number. Text me if you have any questions.

Me: OKAY BUT CAN I TEXT YOU IF I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, JUST IN GENERAL?

Nice Lady: Sure.

Me: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL HANDS

Posted in a lot, ha, i am a grown up, oh nooo, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women, YAY | No Comments »

Juice for Dayz

March 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am embarking on a three day Juice Cleanse because why not, because clearing out the pipes before my body battles the attitude in Peru.  I can’t decide what’s most upsetting about this juice cleanse: that I’m now a person who thinks to do this, that I’m a person who applies the word ’embark’ to ‘juice cleanse,’ how much I paid for it, or the fact that I’m only going to drink juice and juice only for three god-given days. I’m guessing it’s a combination of all three upsetting things combined into one brownish elixir of health and self satisfaction. MAYBE I’LL DRINK THAT, TOO.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, life, oh nooo, whining, YAY | No Comments »

the Great Unifier

January 11th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Say what you want about Obama, about what he was actually able to accomplish during his eight years, about how he handled the economy and healthcare, about what he did to taxes, say all of those things, make an angry list, shout them at your television or into your bank account, but at least acknowledge this: while our new president conducts his first press conference like a shareholder meeting, and its contents could basically be boiled down into ‘Nanny nanny boo boo,’ pointing fingers and shifting blame and hiding behind arbitrary stacks of paper arranged carefully so as to scream meaning like the set of high school play,  Obama was, and is, a unifier. Last night, he challenged all of us, liberal, conservative, in-between, to stop searching our feeds for information that affirms our own beliefs, but to seek facts. He asked us to consider each other’s points of view, and above all else, to remember our humanity.  OH RIGHT, THAT.

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, oh nooo, politics, the future, the whole world, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

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