bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

It is not lost on me

November 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

That every element of this quiet morning is flammable.

(EXCEPT FOR MORRISON AND CRACKER. FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT MORRISON WEARS A FLAME RETARDANT SUPERHERO SUIT BENEATH HIS SKIN AND THAT HE COULD AND WOULD SAVE THIS CAT FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING. AND POSSIBLY ALSO ME. BUT PROBABLY CRACKER, FIRST.)

Posted in i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

when life pulls you inside

September 23rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

We were filming in a residential neighborhood Friday, and on our lunch break, I decided to power walk around it, to make up for all of the 27 tiny snickers bars I stress-ate between shots. As I stress-walked, I stress-thought about all of the things I needed to do, all of the undone things, both immediate and future, we need a lamp for the living room and I need to rewrite that movie and when will I become a pregnant person, and DID I fracture a rib when I face planted while stress-jogging last weekend, or what is that pain near my heart, is it just heart-pain? Or is it a slowly breaking heart? Then suddenly, a voice from a door, an old, sweet voice. It was a tiny old woman, pleading with me from her front step:  please come over, please come inside, I need your help. I went right over, and she kept pleading with me, lost and close to tears,  I need something, I don’t know what it is, but I need you to tell the neighbor, I already told her son, but I can’t remember why, I — her nurse stood behind her, with an over it look that infuriated me — it’s good that you’re here, she’s not authorized to — and I need someone to know, so it’s good that you know. I just need to get to my chair. Please help me get to my chair. And she took my hand, and I helped her inside, into an untouched living room, that she once lived in but now did not recognize, and we got her onto the couch. She took a few breaths. It’s good you’re here. It’s okay, now. You can go. But you come back, any time. Leave your address. I got her name, told her mine, and left. My walk back to work was thoughtful and present and slow. All stress, gone. All I could think of was how incredible it is it be trusted, and that there are people, and that they trust each other, and that they get old and no one sees them anymore, that the young people whir around them worrying about things they can’t control, that they stand lost in their own doorways, waiting for a young person to pass by.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, life, the future, the whole world, tout | No Comments »

that tiny, delicate life

August 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • purchases tiny, delicate necklace  for every day wear, in hopes of being a tiny, delicate person that just floats around like a whisper, dotted with diamonds the size of molecules
  • manages to wear it for about four months
  • in a moment of complete non-delicacy, HULKS OUT AND YANKS ON NECKLACE LIKE IT’S MADE OF CHAINS USED TO CAPTURE WHALES; SNAPS NECKLACE IN HALF
  • searches for another, CYCLE CONTINUES

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, women | No Comments »

Leah

June 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This charm belonged to my great-grandma, Leah Lopin, my middle namesake. I met her a handful of times before she died in the 90’s, and I mostly remember necklaces and laughter and white teeth. This charm lives next to my perfume, and yesterday I stopped and looked it and remembered: she was the first kid to be born in America. Her Jewish parents fled Russia in the early 1900’s to escape religious persecution by the Czar, and by persecution I definitely mean  senseless murder. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, they were welcomed, here. They started a life, here. And so I now have a life, here. Let this never be lost on me, and let it inform and shape my view and activism for those trying to enter from Honduras and El Salvador and Guatemala who only want THE EXACT SAME THING.

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the whole world, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

draft two

June 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, writing my first draft: DID I INVENT WRITING? WOW. NO ONE HAS EVER WRITTEN LIKE THIS. NO ONE HAS EVER EVEN SEEN THE WORLD LIKE THIS. I AM A SPECIAL, MAGIC UNICORN WITH A SECRET. BUT I’M NOT EVEN A UNICORN. UNICORNS ARE BASIC. I AM A NEW BEING, WITH WINGS STUFFED WITH TREASURES MADE OF WORDS. GOSH, IT SURE IS COZY HERE INSIDE OF THIS GIANT TRAPPER KEEPER FORMED FROM MY OWN NARCISSISM.

(I get notes, I shrink back to earth.)

Me, writing my second draft:

What are words?

Who are people?

Who am I?

WHAT IS PLAY

Posted in a lot, the writing of drama plays, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

Patrons

May 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As artists ourselves, Morrison and I are determined to use our privilege to support the work of fierce and bold and relevant emerging talent. Most recently, we purchased a Lifestyle Magazine called Lifestyle from some up and coming second graders, in hopes that our investment might validate and encourage them:

The Mermaid Style

The Tail Style

Princess Style

The Fairy Style

Unicorn Style

We can do this To

 

 

Posted in i am a grown up, i am lucky, kids, things, things that I Have, tout, wanting, YAY | No Comments »

how to water a plant

May 4th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that I thought I was a plant, like I kept going around telling people that I was one, and no one believed me. This is most likely related to the fact that we recently got some indoor plants, so that while we’re inside of the Box Man Made to keep us out of the Elements, we might still feel like the Elements are all around us. I’ve never been much of a Plant person (EXCEPT FOR IN MY DREAMS, WHEN I AM PLANT) and so all of the tricks to keeping it alive are completely new to me. I asked the garden center person how often to water the plant, and she all but laughed in my face. And then this:

There’s no such thing as a plant watering schedule. If it’s in direct light, give it water sometimes but not too often, only when it seems like it needs water. If it’s in indirect sunlight, also only sometimes give it water, less frequently than all the time, but just occasionally. If it’s not humid and the plant wants to be humid, spray it with water but only when it wants it. If it looks like it doesn’t want it, don’t do it. And ALWAYS FILTERED WATER.

Confusing, specific,  but also somehow vague. Perhaps I — AM PLANT?!

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

neck things

May 2nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Call me materialistic, but I do put a lot of weight on physical things. (No really, do call me that, as that is literally the definition.) Mostly I just like to have things around me to remind of different times in my life that I’m no longer inside of, as I really like to be surrounded by all the years I’ve lived that led me to where I am, which, typing it out loud, might suggest that I live in the past, and so  stay tuned for news of my upcoming book slash self help workshop series HOW TO NEVER EVER BE PRESENT EVER. But today I looked at all of my necklaces, hanging on the wall of my room:

And I just took a moment and looked at them, as a person with too much time on their hands might do with Things. I currently don’t wear any of them, as I wear the same jewelry every day, but hanging here (to name a few) we’ve got some pearls my mom got me from a vintage store in like 2003 when visiting me in NYC and she decided I needed some woman pearls, a necklace I Built myself at Brooklyn Charm in Brooklyn after I received my first paycheck for writing, a heart locket with Beyonce inside of it from Morrison and I’s first Valentine’s Day, a sister necklace from Morrison’s sisters, a compass that Julien and I both got after a trip so that we might always find our way, a tiny North Carolina, a golden owl found in my grandmother’s Things after she died, an Axe from Morrison as he sees and supports my gently violent side. I like having them there, to look at it, to remind me of each of these people, and each of these times. And so THINGS! THINGS FOREVER! And also maybe sometimes, meaningful human connections and maybe other stuff too.

 

Posted in a lot, things, things that I Have, tout, vintage, wanting, YAY | No Comments »

good with kids

April 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison is very, very, VERY good with kids, mostly because he takes them seriously and speaks to them like they’re adults, while at the same time, playing into their imaginations. With me,  it’s mostly awkward. (Me: HOW’S YOUR WEEKEND GOING? GET INTO ANY TROUBLE? DO YOU LIKE WINE? AM I TALKING LOUD?)  Yesterday, the school where Morrison TA’s had its (CHARMING; INCREDIBLE) spring carnival, and so naturally, we  played laser tag in a gym with a bunch of kids. At one point, I looked over and saw Morrison doing a slow motion death-roll on the ground while two little girls in pigtails stood over him, casually shooting him point blank. That fact on its own is NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS STORY.

Waiting in line to enter, we decided to form an alliance with four other kids. The plan was to hole up behind the big pile of Mats in the Northwest corner of the room. We got our guns, the room went dark, and we ran to our station. But as I lept behind mats next to Morrison, one kid looks at me skeptically.

Kid: Who’s that?

Morrison: It’s okay. She’s safe.

Me (to kid): I’m your wife!

The kid just looks at me.

Kid: Wait, what?

Me: Oh, wait, no, I meant —

Morrison: She’s MY wife.

Me: I’m HIS wife! Hahahaha! You don’t have a wife! That’d be weird. I promise I’m not your wife. Hahahahaha! I’m an adult!

Kid:…..okay……?

The kid returned to the game, only to turn on me ten minutes later, like this:

Kid: (innocently) How many lives do you have left?

Me: I’m not sure, how can I tell?

Kid: (brightly): Lemmee see your gun!

I hold it out to him, and he SHOOTS ME POINT BLANK.

Me: What the hell?!

Kid: (shrugging) ….friendly fire.

Me: HEY. THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR WIFE.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, kids, silly, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

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