bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Light

September 1st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on (wo)man’s search for meaning, I can’t stop thinking about this NYT picture of some people in Houston taking in vibrant sunlight for the first time in days:

Just as we all paused life and watched the eclipse a few weeks back, here are these people, rejoicing in a vast, shared thing. I’m not going to go as far as to say that perhaps God sent Harvey to humble us, and bring us together, but, okay, yes. MAYBE DID GOD SEND HARVEY TO HUMBLE US AND BRING US TOGETHER?   I acknowledge that this is a dangerous statement, as surely, most of the people who lost their homes in the floods were already humbled, already together. They did not need to lose their worldly belongings to be reminded of what they already knew. And It’s not lost on me that the flooding affected already poverty stricken, black and latino communities, and there are definitely other communities who are in greater need of being humbled. But still, I want it to be more than just wind forming over an ocean. I want it to have meant something. It’s not my job to determined said meaning, as I was not affected by the storm, but I can’t help but try. I just might look at this picture until it find it.

Posted in faith, generally, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, words, worrying | No Comments »

HOW TO WEAR CLOTHES AND NOT DIE

August 31st, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

1.) Look at the weather outside

2.) Observe that it’s apocalyptic in its heat

3.) Look in your closet

4.) Consider Pants

5.) Reject the idea of Pants

4.) Find a summer dress that’s barely fabric that you are far too old to own, let alone wear

5.) Put a shirt on UNDER it so that’s mildly work appropriate

6.) CONGRATS, YOU’RE WEARING CLOTHES

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, YAY, things, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

EVERYTHING BUT THIS IS BAD

August 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t have any profound insight into the events of the last few days, but I do feel a need to express something, and so:

VANS ARE BAD

CROWDS ARE BAD

HATE IS BAD

THE DVIDE IS BAD

EVERYTHING IS BAD

BUT

DEBRA JO IS GOING TO BE ON THIS IS US IN WHAT WILL BE A PRETTY INCREDIBLE STORYLINE WITH RANDALL AND BETH, A WHITE WOMAN WITH A BLACK COUPLE, BUT IT’S BEAUTIFULLY NOT EVEN ABOUT THAT, BECAUSE I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK FOR A SHOW THAT IS A PLATFORM FOR TRUTHFUL, UPLIFTING STORIES ABOUT FAMILY AND RACE AND CLASS AND ALL OF THE MUCK INBETWEEN

SO AT LEAST ONE THING IS NOT BAD

WORDS DONE

Posted in TV, YAY, a lot, famous people stuff, i have peace, the future, the whole world, tout, trying too hard, what my friends are doing, whining, worrying | No Comments »

dressxiety

August 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

This morning, the gals of This is Us were discussing Emmy’s dress options and I just sort of froze and crawled inside of myself. I’ve ordered a few to try, but mostly I feel just an absurd amount of dread: that I will either try too hard or not try hard enough, that I will spend an absurd amount of money to look at my pictures and see a  little girl trying too hard, that I will hate my pictures and feel like I ruined an incredible life moment by trying too hard or not hard enough, that my gut will press out of whatever overpriced thing I procure, and also that a dress is in fact equal in price to a dining room table which we definitely need. I’m hereby taking a moment to set aside said dread, and focus on what is actually happening: A SHOW THAT I WORK ON IS NOMINATED FOR AN EMMMY, AND SO, I AM GOING TO THE EMMY’s. Regardless of what I wear, I will be there, and that, in itself, considering my beginnings writing poems under my bed, is, and always will be, enough. OKAY BACK TO WORRYING ABOUT DRESSES.

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, TV, YAY, i am lucky, silly, tout, trying too hard, worrying | No Comments »

FRAILTY THY NAME IS GARLIC BREAD

July 30th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

To whoever was apparently straight up baking garlic bread outside the spinning studio this morning:  NOT COOL, BRO. Whatever resolve we spinners have summoned to exercise is fragile. We teeter on the edge of stuffed french toast and sweet potato fries. We spin through sides of maple butter and ranch like Brunch was chasing us in a car. IS THERE REALLY NO OTHER PLACE TO MAKE YOUR BREAD AND ALSO CAN I HAVE SOME

Posted in a lot, food, ha, hmmmmm, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

the witching hour

June 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Experts and addicts and expert addicts say that alcoholics have a witching hour, a time of day when they always start to want a drink, for most, about 5 PM, the hovering inbetween day and night. Interestingly, TV writers rooms have a collective witching hour, but it’s about 3 PM, that hovering between lunch and end of day, and it’s NINETY SEVEN BAGS OF POPCORN. It’s predictable, it’s feral, it’s comforting, it’s disturbing, it’s how we somehow manage to get it all done.

Posted in TV, a lot, food, generally, ha, tout, trying too hard | No Comments »

grown up spread

May 29th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

We had some friends over for a barbecue yesterday. Most of the conversations revolved around work and real estate and school districts and gestational diabetes, really confirming my suspicion that we are in our mid-30s. As for my grown up self, I obsessively and gleefully arranged trays of condiments and made colorful salads and put them into bowls:

BUT WAIT ACTUALLY, I’ve loved to do that since I was in my 20s, if not teens, if not childhood, which confirms my other suspicion that I’ve actually been in my mid-30s FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Posted in YAY, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, the future, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout, trying too hard, vices, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

I was definitely not born with it

May 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice lady at makeup counter: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, um — my face is allergic to the make up I’ve been using, and so I need some other make up.

Nice lady: Okay, so like a foundation or a compact or 2 in 1?

Me:….What?

Nice lady: What kind of make up do you normally use?

Me:….I put it on my face?

Nice lady: Okay, probably a two in one. What kind of skin do you have?

Me: Skin!

Nice lady: is it oily or dry?

Me: SKIN.

Nice Lady: Okay! Do you have a primer that you use?

Me: WHAT?

Nice lady: That you put on before your makeup.

Me: Like a moisturizer?!

Nice Lady: No, it’s a different thing that goes on after your moisturizer, before your makeup.

Me: NO I DON’T HAVE THAT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. I NEVER LEARNED THESE THINGS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Nice Lady: try these products. And here’s my card with my number. Text me if you have any questions.

Me: OKAY BUT CAN I TEXT YOU IF I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO BE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, JUST IN GENERAL?

Nice Lady: Sure.

Me: YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL HANDS

Posted in YAY, a lot, ha, i am a grown up, oh nooo, tout, trying too hard, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

dead mall

April 24th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Like most kids who grow up in the suburbs, when I was a kid,  I fetishized the mall, like just so deeply and badly needed to get a ride there so I could get my cartilage pierced at Claires or eat a cookie the size of my face or just walk through racks of low-rise pants that didn’t fit me. It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but I am somehow calmed by rows and shelves of Things, organized neatly by color and size. Since I fixated on Malls so much when I was young, I am really disturbed by the fact that they are now dying, so much so that there is now a term for the abandoned or nearly abandoned spaces, ‘dead mall.’ There’s even a term for the abandoned large hub of the mall, the JCPenney’s or Dillards or Sears: that gaping pit emptiness is called a ‘ghostbox.’ There needs to be a word for what I’m feeling — this sense that I am inside of slowly changing world — a world that is moving so fast I barely notice the changes — but every now and then, when I pause, I glimpse the change and it makes my skin buzz and my stomach sink. What is this feeling? Futuresense? Changefeel? DEADMALL?

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, memories, tout, trying too hard, words | No Comments »

the rewrite

April 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m in the middle of re-working a movie I wrote a few years ago. Rewriting pulls out the lose threads of my brain and makes everything, my Face, my Self, the World, feel unstable and wrong. WERE I TO SELECT AN IMAGE, IT IN FACT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THIS:

Imagine each piece of yarn is either a character or moment or my own self-loathing and doubt or a TIGHT FRENCH BRAID OF ALL OF IT. The goal, of course, after a certain amount of wading through and tripping over and choking on the mess, is this:

And then naturally, this.

Posted in YAY, a lot, silly, sucking, tout, trying too hard, whining, words | No Comments »

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