bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

GOLF IS LYFE

September 10th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

There was speculation that this picture was photoshop fake news, but it is in fact AS REAL AS AN INTERNET THING CAN BE. Apparently when these golf sportsers in Oregon started their game, the fire was the ‘size of a grocery store,’ but as they neared the end of their golf sports game, it was ‘the size of many grocery stores,’ and yet they still finished. I will now proceed with my own caption contest.

- Dude does anyone else suddenly really want BBQ?

- This is what is wrong with this country.

- This is what is wrong with the people in this country.

-This is what is wrong with Golf.

- …..GOLF.

Posted in ...sports?, a lot, worrying | No Comments »

squatstetters

May 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I am very bad at squats but I keep trying to not be bad at them. Some people do them like they spent their entire womb-life squatting, like they are actually followed around by a series of invisible chairs, but I do them desperately, like I’m constantly falling, like I was born without muscle. But instead of being upset about my poor form and utter lack of athleticism, it makes me kind of happy, because I recently discovered that my brothers can’t do squats, either. We are just all genetically pre-disposed to not doing squats, for whatever reason. Not only is this a remarkable excuse for squatting like I’m pooping really cold play doh, it also just reminds me that I have three brothers, and no matter where we all are, we are connected, and we are the same, and we cannot squat.

Posted in ...sports?, brothers, family, hmmmmm | No Comments »

Pie tops!

March 6th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today on what is right with America, Pizza Hut has released a pair of shoes called pie tops. They sync to your phone, you know, like shoes do, and when you press the tongue of said shoe, it connects to your phone and orders you a pizza, because it’s way too simple to just order a pizza from your phone and it’s just way more fun to lean down and press upon your shoe and make pizza happen and just know for the rest of the day that your foot summoned food.  I’d really like to tell you more about them but I really must away and find said shoes in GIANT HUSBAND SIZE.

Posted in ....ew, ...sports?, a lot, fancy, food, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

‘Writing’

February 26th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Please don’t tell anyone I owe any sort of script to, but by ‘going to hotel to write’ I actually mean ‘hiding in hotel room with room service watching cheerleading competitions wishing I could go back in time and be either a strong or portable person who cheered competitively in college.’

Posted in ...sports?, ha, hmmmmm, the writing of drama plays | No Comments »

TARSPORTS!

April 3rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

THE CAROLINA SPORTSTEAM WON THE SPORTSBALL GAME AND ARE GOING TO THE SPORTS FINALS! I WORE MY SPORTS SHIRT!

PERHAPS IT WAS SPORTSLUCK, OR SPORTSSKILL. EITHER WAY I WILL BE CHEERING  THEM ON IN THE SPORTSFINAL MONDAY NIGHT SO THAT THEY MIGHT OBTAIN MORE POINTS THAN THE OTHER SPORTSTEAM AND BE GIVEN THE BIG SPORTSPRIZE!!!!!!!

Posted in ...sports? | No Comments »

SHOTZ SHOTZ (MOZZARELLA) SHOTZ

February 7th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Somebody try and stop me from making these genius shot glasses made of fried mozzarella and stuffed full of marina sauce.

NO SERIOUSLY PLEASE.  SOMEONE TRY AND STOP ME.

Posted in ....ew, ...sports?, awesome, food | No Comments »

GOOOOOOO SPORTS (FOOD)

February 2nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

The Carolina Panthers are in the Superbowllllll! I am from North Carolina and so I care! And by care I of course mean yes the game can be on and I will yell sports at the game, but mostly I just want to MAKE AND EAT THE SNACKS. Like I don’t know maybe these tiny mac n cheese cups.

Or maybe these tiny individual seven layer dips.

OR DEFINITELY THIS THING THAT SOME DEAR PERSON INVENTED / MADE AND DUBBED A ‘SNACKADIUM.’

AMERICA YOU ARE ALREADY GREAT.

Posted in ...sports?, YAY, a lot, food, generally | No Comments »

I <3 OUTSIDE.

August 22nd, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

I wanna live my life outside. This is a late discovery. I used to hide inside reading Babysitter’s Club until my parents literally had to lock me out of the house until I’d ridden my bike around the neighborhood. And even THEN, I would sit under the swing set in the backyard and play circus, which, from what I recall, just involved sitting underneath the swing set in the backyard, and imagining a circus happening all around me.

But in my adult life, I LOVE OUTSIDE.  It’s gorgeous and massive and calm and here for us to play on and explore like a grown up swing set but sturdier most of the time. Today Julien and I hiked the Stawamus Peak Chief and if I’m being real it was more of a TWO MILE TOTALLY UPHILL CLIMB.

I nearly died 9 times partially because of a back injury from something pathetic  like lifting something and then like, standing out of a chair too fast, but a bunch of terrifying chains / ladders / stairs / trees / stones / very fast children later:

By far the highest I have ever climbed. The Chief stands 2,000 feet over Squamish, so I’m just going to tell myself I did that.

We rewarded ourselves with something not found in nature but Godly, just the same.

And props to these kids who ALSO <3 the outside and also taking money from tourists who are dying of thirst who thought the hike was 90 minutes ROUND TRIP NOT ONE WAY.

Posted in ...sports?, a lot, awesome, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace | No Comments »

excerpt from women’s health magazine

July 10th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Say, have you been hanging out a lot with your delightful and delightfully giant manfriend who has to eat an entire lasagna every three hours or he passes out? Have you been trying to keep up? Have you been taking cobblers and chips straight to the FACE? Hey fattie! You’re not a big dude, you are a DELICATE LADY. Back away from the breakfast burrito and make a smoothie. Coconut milk, greek yogurt, frozen blueberries, agave, kale. TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT IN THE FORM OF THIS DELICIOUS SMOOTHIE.

BLEND while wondering why your shorts are so tight, while making promises to avoid bread, while day dreaming of mozzarella sticks.  Sip from a mason jar  until your hip bones re-emerge. ENJOY.

Posted in ...sports?, a lot, awesome, whining, women | No Comments »

MEDIEVAL BOWLING DANCE

May 11th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

HALF CURTSY, HALF OOPS I BOWLED A 67

Posted in ...sports?, a lot | No Comments »

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