bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

the Gift Suite

January 8th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, in one of the stranger Hollywood but not Hollywood afternoons of my life, I had the privilege of attending a Golden Globes ‘gift suite.’ Basically a bunch of jewelry designers, skincare makers, and charities gather in a penthouse and wait for celebrities to visit their booth, so that they can tell them all about their product or cause, in hopes that the famous person will then champion the face lotion / cause. The celebrity or out of place TV writer gets sort of marched around the room and handed free things, and a  sort of stressed out ‘host’ has to introduce them to each vendor, and genuinely try but mostly mispronounce their name every time perhaps as Backah Brunsettler, and then hold the free things the famous person gets handed, because famous people and lower level TV writers cannot hold things with their hands. It was a strange glimpse into the life of a person who just gets given things for no reason. Highlights were the Vagina cleaner, the woman who gave me a sample of her perfume then pitched me her pilot idea, and last but not least, Viola Davis, who floated behind me with an entourage of what appeared to be granddaughters, generously thanking everyone, giving each person time and attention, showing the rest of us how it is done.

Posted in I write for television?, LA angst, YAY, a lot, famous people stuff, i am lucky, things, things that I Have, tout, wanting, women, working | No Comments »

LET IT TELL YOU

December 13th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

ATTN: PEOPLE WITH BOOBS. Today, on we Live in the Future:  instagram will now tell you when you need a new bra and where to get it. It will also tell you which overnight bags and shoes and lip gloss and also you know, what a girl you went to high school with who you have not talked to in sixteen years had for lunch, so you know, also still the basics. Listen to instagram. Maybe it’s the Russians swaying your opinion or maybe its just an actually effective, non-scary algorithm that directs you to things that do fit your style and needs based on a quick scan of every picture you’ve ever posted. WHO KNOWS! This bra brand LIVELY started following me, and after a few days of pictures of pretty, laid back torsoes, I succumbed, and clicked, and purchased. And you guys (more specifically: girls) THEY ARE THE BEST BRAS I HAVE EVER OWNED. They are soft and supportive and simple and sleek. (If you have the kind of sweater cows that cause back problems, that people stop to look at, I cannot help you, but for my average lot, they do me just fine.) TRY A ONE TODAY PLEASE OKAY!  - RUSSIA

Posted in YAY, a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, i am scared, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

tough job / someone must do it

December 3rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sheila: Hey, can I give you a few jobs for the Kilroys fundraiser?

Me: Sure thing, how can I help?

Sheila: Well first can you find somewhere that makes tiny cupcakes and –

Me: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Sheila:….and order fifty and bring them to –

Me: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sheila:….the party?

Me: ALREADY DID IT, IT’S DONE

Posted in YAY, a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, wanting, what my friends are doing, women | No Comments »

brown

November 21st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nail person: what’re you thinking?

Me: Brown! I have a brown in my head.

Nail person: Sounds like a personal problem. Tell me about this brown in your head.

Me: a bright, happy pilgrim brown, crayola marker drawing of house brown, cartoon chocolate or wood or poop. Luminous, optimistic neon brown.

Nail person: That’s not a thing.

Me: what’s not?

Nail person: Happy pilgrim. But here are 11 other kinds of brown. Anger brown, dirt brown, sad brown, coffee brown –

Me: I’ll take the disco caramel.

Nail person: it’s called burnt leaf.

Me: That’s what I said.

Posted in a lot, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, words | No Comments »

the cake / fleurs / decorations / cakerations

October 29th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

GOOD AFTERNOON, and welcome back to the joyful spin cycle in my head! Today, the decor. When you wed beneath fall foliage, you really don’t need much, so we just went with some simple Decorative Wedding signs (lovingly crafted by Morrison’s awesome bro John and his wife, Jacy):

And then some simple basic everyday framed pictures of Cracker at every table.

We also put bowls of skittles at each table because skittles. Our florist is the kind of gal who simply picks mountain wild flowers the day before and brings them over, so that the whole thing seems like a beautiful coincidence. Here’s the main big guy that my Dad HAPPILY loaded on his truck when my Mom attempted to take it home and preserve it, and even more happily took it back off when it definitely didn’t fit:

As for the cake, I just so happen to have gone to high school with a phenomenal baker, Jessica. She made three beautiful chocolate pound cakes, one of which we ate with our hands the next day, another of which we will eat with our hands in one year:

New Years,  a few years back, Morrison and I spent an absurd amount of time dreaming up a cobbler truck business, with eight very specific flavors with very specific names.  And so, we also went the cobbler route at the reception. Jessica made these wondrous mini jars of rosemary blackberry and peach ginger cobbler:

Guests dumped the cobblers over vanilla ice cream, like the perfect kind that comes from a bucket. Special thanks to our other high school friend, Missy, for helping make the table look like PINTEREST COME TO LIFE THAT ALSO YOU CAN EAT.

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, awesome, food, i am a grown up, love, the future, things, wanting, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

miss this

September 9th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I was reading a short story before bed in which the writer described, in great detail,  the feeling of Winter having left, Spring having not yet arrived. The whole world gray and melting and wet. And I realized it’s been years since I saw / felt that time of year, that weather moment. In LA, it’s pretty much the same, year round, except for the four days a year when it rains and people stay inside crying or ram their cars into each other. Reading about that weather time, I missed it. That wet air feeling. The thought of not having felt it in so long made me so sad.  I want to find wherever it’s gray and wet and fly myself there and stand in the middle of it. Don’t rain and clouds unlock something inside of us, air out the sadness? Don’t they create a perfect backdrop for big and hard questions, deep thinking? And if we don’t live through them, do we miss out on this part of our thinking entirely?

Posted in LA angst, wanting, where i want to live, worrying | No Comments »

IT’S NOT REAL

September 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch of lipsticks for lunch, then took all of the lipstick crumbs that fell out of your mouth and then rubbed those around your mouth and onto your teeth. I must conclude that when you see a woman with nice looking lipstick that is only on her lips, she has actually just implanted a device in every single other person’s eyes that projects digital color onto the lip part of her face, because there is LITERALLY NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

BUT HER BUTT

August 29th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Beyonce’s butt gives me so complicated and surreal feelings, including but not limited to:

- I want to have it

- I want to be friends with it

- I want it to give me life advice

- I want to bounce balls off of it

- I want to bake a pie of it

- I want to be it when I grow up

- I want to die and come back to life as it

- I want to live upon it

Posted in YAY, a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, wanting, women | No Comments »

IT’S REAL IT’S REAL IT’S REAL

August 18th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

THAT TIME YOU GET HOME FROM THE GYM TO FIND THAT YOUR WEDDING DRESS HAS ARRIVED AND IS JUST SITTING THERE IN A BIG BOX AND WELL, THERE IT IS, IT’S REAL

Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, wanting, worrying | No Comments »

LISA FRANK HAS A CLOTHING LINE

July 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I REPEAT, LISA FRANK HAS RELEASED A CLOTHING LINE

I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY LEOPARD BABY TRAPPER KEEPER AS PANTS

Posted in YAY, awesome, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »

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