August 29th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Beyonce’s butt gives me so complicated and surreal feelings, including but not limited to:
- I want to have it
- I want to be friends with it
- I want it to give me life advice
- I want to bounce balls off of it
- I want to bake a pie of it
- I want to be it when I grow up
- I want to die and come back to life as it
- I want to live upon it
Posted in YAY, a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, wanting, women | No Comments »
August 18th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
THAT TIME YOU GET HOME FROM THE GYM TO FIND THAT YOUR WEDDING DRESS HAS ARRIVED AND IS JUST SITTING THERE IN A BIG BOX AND WELL, THERE IT IS, IT’S REAL
Posted in DRESSES!!!!!!!!!!!!, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, wanting, worrying | No Comments »
July 30th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
I REPEAT, LISA FRANK HAS RELEASED A CLOTHING LINE
I CAN FINALLY WEAR MY LEOPARD BABY TRAPPER KEEPER AS PANTS
Posted in YAY, awesome, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing, women | No Comments »
July 28th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Why must wedding invitations be addressed like the guest is being summoned to a 1943 boat or fairy or garden party? I shall address mine myself, with own handwriting, which is just as nice but just a touch more ‘middle schooler decides to become serial killer / sends threatening murder notes / but is also kind of in a hurry and is probably drinking coffee and or wine while writing it so just except one of those liquids to make it onto the envelope,’ but mildly legible.
Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, love, wanting, whining, worrying | No Comments »
June 7th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
There are two kinds of people in the world: people who can make a nice cheese plate, and people who cannot. The people who CAN make a cheese plate always seem to have quince paste and fig hanging out in their kitchen, and also tend to know what quince paste is. I have always felt that having a bowl on your kitchen counter full of produce indicates a level of self awareness, forward thinking, organization and preparedness that basically means you are better at being alive than basically everyone else. Now that I have finally remembered that I feel this way, and started filling a bowl with such items, I would like to announce that I feel basically the same, and ready for only moderately pre-meditated kitchen activities, which is to say, guacamole.
Posted in YAY, a lot, things that I Have, wanting | No Comments »
May 3rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
When I start to want something, I start to see it everywhere, note its qualities. First it was boys and whether or not they were wearing wedding rings, then it was cars and whether or not they had leather interiors. Now that I have hit the jackpot in both Boy and Car, I WOULD PLEASE LIKE A HOUSE. And so I leer at them everywhere I go. I note their qualities. Whether or not there is a porch or front yard, whether there is garage space, what its down payment might be, if I could ever in a million years afford it, its window panes, its columns, its french doors and its trees. I dream about its kitchen. Does it have an island for cooking? IS THERE A FARMER’S SINK? IS THERE A WALK IN CLOSET THAT YOU CAN WALK INTO? IS IT SINGLE? WILL IT EVER BE MINE?
Posted in YAY, awesome, boys, wanting, where i want to live, worrying | No Comments »
April 4th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
I’ve been using this workout machine thing, Jacob’s Ladder, in which you strap yourself in and mountain goat yourself til you basically die.
It’s pretty awesome, especially if you spend the whole time pretending like you’re on an epic vision quest to the top of the Holy Mountain at which point you will receive the Sword that will save the Kingdom from the Darkness. If anything, it’s a swell fantasy-generator. I can’t tell if it’s actually working, exercise-wise, but here’s a picture of me from five minutes ago casually hanging on some suspended hoops after I climbed a fantasy ladder for half an hour.
IS IT WORKING?
Posted in YAY, a lot, things, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »
March 18th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
After making a fairly solid commitment to at least a solid effort to consume less sugar, Jeni’s had to go and announce THIS:
And I quote: “Our Savannah Buttermint is sweet and sophisticated, like Southern ladies donning white gloves at a garden tea party. It’s buttery peppermint ice cream with a touch of sea salt and crunchy white chocolate.” JENI WHY WOULD YOU. JENI, WHY.
Posted in a lot, awesome, food, wanting | No Comments »
January 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Late January each year, twenty percent of all theater and TV and film people disappear to Sundance, which is still a thing that I don’t fully understand. It’s a film festival, but everyone goes, regardless of whether or not you actually have a film there. In my mind, everybody mills about in their grandmother’s fur coats, standing in lines, shaking hands, or standing in lines shaking hands. It’s impossible to get tickets to the screenings and the famous people parties, but if you go, you can find a way into either, if you know the right person, and if you don’t, I think you just kind of walk around in your baller winter fairy clothes you never get to wear. It seems at once the most fun and and most horrible thing in the world BY WHICH I MEAN I REALLY WANT TO GO SO THAT I CAN FINALLY SAY I CAN’T COME TO THE (EVENT) I WILL BE AT SUNDANCE, BUT THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR ASKING.
Posted in awesome, famous people stuff, generally, ha, vacay's, wanting | No Comments »
December 6th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter
I definitely don’t want or need to talk about how much time I just spent in a dressing room while I was supposed to be shopping for OTHER PEOPLE staring at myself in a Navy Blazer, wondering if I was finally the sort of woman who needs a Blazer, and wait am I finally a woman now? and I guess I am now a woman, and so maybe I need a Blazer for Meetings but I don’t really have that many Meetings, WHY DO I NOT HAVE MORE MEETINGS? I should have more of those, maybe I would if I had a Blazer, but no wait Blazers are a sign of togetherness and a writer must have a certain sort of aloof torture, an edge, hair in her eyes and something that might be paint or blood beneath one of her nails, a writer with a soul and things to say does not wear BLAZERS, am I too together, do I have nothing to say? What is that beneath my nail? Is it cookie dough? It’s cookie dough, so I should probably not get this Blazer, but instead just wear an apron around as pants. Distinctive, memorable. THAT MAKES SENSE, RIGHT?
Posted in wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women, words, worrying | No Comments »