bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

how they get you

October 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Consumer: I would please like a bed frame to hold my bed off the ground.

Pleasant Furniture store: Great! Here’s a reasonably priced bed frame, to hold your bed.

Consumer: Great! Now, I would please like two nightstands that match the bed frame, so that when I enter my room at night, I feel that sweet sweet calm brought on by the order of having house things that match.

Pleasant Furniture store: No problem. We have matching nightstands too BUT THEY  COST MORE THAN THE BED FRAME ITSELF AND THAT IS  JUST FOR ONE OF THEM AND  YOU NEED TWO FOR YOUR FALSE SENSE OF ORDER AND BALANCE, HAHAHAHA YOU IDIOT, YOU ARE WEAK AND YOU ARE MINNNNEEEEEEEEE MUAHAHAHA

Posted in I hate money, how interesting, i am a grown up, things, wanting, whining | No Comments »

marriage song

September 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Now that I’m a locked down and spoken for and happily married woman person, I truly have only one regret: I can no longer be spurned or rejected by someone I’m deeply in love with.  More specifically, I can never again sing-scream through  tears  I’LL GET OVER YOUUUUUUU, I KNOW I WILL, I’LL PRETEND MY SHIP’S NOT SINKING, AND I’LL TELL MYSELF, I’M OVER YOU, CAUSE I’M THE KING OF WISHFUL THINKINGGGGGGGGGGG. I mean, I can sing it all I want, and believe you me, I do. But it’s not the same. Woe is not me. Instead, comfort is me. Warmth and stability are me. Perhaps instead: I’LL BE MARRIED TO YOU / I KNOW I WILL / I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ALL YOUR SOUNNNNNDS MEAN / AND I’LL TELL MYSELF / LET’S STOP BY TRADER JOES ON THE WAY HOME BECAUSE I THINK WE’RE OUT OF OLIVE OIL?

Posted in MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i have peace, love, things that I Have, tout, wanting, words | No Comments »

BEAR CAMP

September 23rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison’s Dad came through town last night, en route to the High Sierras for a 3 day solo spiritual awakening hike type situation, like you do. (Please note the similarities between father and son, proving that things like Calm and Practicality  are, in fact, genetic.) Hearing him talking about it, I said that I absolutely need something similar, though I would probably make it about ten minutes before I wondered what was next on the agenda, if there was somewhere  nearby that sold commemorative magnets or shoes, if there was some site to go see. He suggested that I start my outdoors life (of which I kind of have none) with a family trip to Bear Camp. I REPEAT, BEAR CAMP. It’s a glamping trip in Canada where you live in the trees above the Bears, observe them, and occasionally venture down for hikes and river trips, etc. NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO BEAR CAMP. It’s all I want. Mostly so that when people ask me what I did over break, I can just casually say ‘Oh, I went to bear camp,’ then offer no more information, like that’s just a thing that people do. I will then become known as a person who camps with Bears,  which is obviously a career-defining reputation. You should hire Bekah. She camps with bears. Yes. THOSE Bears.

Posted in YAY, a lot, family, life, vacay's, wanting | No Comments »

lie there and think about yourself

September 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I don’t like the part at the end of yoga where you’re supposed to ‘lie there and think about yourself, and only yourself.’ All I ever do is think about myself. I am, in fact,  sick of thinking about myself. Whenever the instructor tells me to do this, I just lie there and think about all of the ways in which I spend too much time thinking about myself, and by the time the class ends, I am so weighed down by my own narcissism that I can barely move. Maybe instead, I’ll lay there and think about other people. Maybe for me, savasana should be FORGETTING I EVEN EXIST.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, life, wanting, whining, worrying | No Comments »

Clutch.

September 5th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I need a clutch for the Emmy’s, I mean, literally just a small purse to hold that I can put my phone in, that I might Clutch in a picture. I don’t where women find these, but I can’t seem to find a normal looking one, like just a small stupid black purse to put things inside of. I guess I have no choice but to go meta and clutch this hand clutch.

GO META OR GO HOME AMIRIGHT

Posted in ....ew, I write for television?, LA angst, a lot, i am lucky, things, things that I Have, wanting, what I'm wearing, what i am NOT wearing, whining, women | No Comments »

something to do

August 25th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m trying to grow my bangs out, mostly because it infuses every moment of life with great purpose, like even if you’re just sitting there, you are actually quite busy growing out your bangs. But also because my special fella, for some reason,  likes the idea of me NOT having toddler hair, and perhaps having Woman hair.  And so I am trying, very patiently, one sixtieth of an inch a day, to grow them, but mostly all I’m growing is the wrath of having hair in your face all the time. IT AIN’T CUTE. There better be glamour on the other side of this, or at least a forehead.

Posted in MAWWAGE., a lot, love, wanting, whining, women | No Comments »

effective marketing

August 3rd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I somehow ended up on the Upper Middle Class Women who love Tshirts that Say Socially Conscious Things especially if they are Soft listserv, and I’m not mad at it. Last week I got an email advertising this shirt from Everlane / The Human Rights Campaign:

Within SECONDS I had ordered one, because I am in fact 100% human, by which I mean 100%  SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING THAT IS GEARED DIRECTLY AT ME.

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, things, things that I Have, trying too hard, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

Basicbucks

July 17th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

I know I’m supposed to only love fair trade Ethiopian first cold pressed hints of earth nuts coffee, but I LOVE STARBUCKS AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.  They have sandwiches. They have bathrooms. They have almond milk. They take cards. They have this mobile app with which you can order your drinks from your phone, and then just pop in and pick them up. As a person who suffers from Obsessive Time Management Disorder, who plans pockets of seven minutes of time days in advance, who is deathly allergic to wasting any sort of time, it is a life changer. It means that I can just head in and grab my drink and NOT EVEN DEAL WITH THE UNKNOWN FACTOR OF HOW LONG THE LINE IS. Call me basic, call me a robot, but I am the  HAPPIEST MOST BASIC ROBOT THERE EVER WAS.

Posted in YAY, a dream is a wish your heart makes, awesome, vices, wanting, whining, worrying | No Comments »

formerly fat career girl

July 12th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes my own thought processes horrify me. Yesterday the New York Times ran an  article about me, which I honestly have been secretly dreaming about FOR YEARS. My first thoughts once I saw that it was posted: Do I look fat? How fat do I look? Do I look slightly more fat than I was ten minutes or ten years ago? Is everyone going to see that I’ve gained fifteen pounds since last year? ONLY AFTER THESE INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS, did I then read the article, which is a lovely article in which I managed to represent what I believe in, what troubles me, what goes on in my BRAIN, by which I mean, the thing floating inside of the container that is my body, that is arguably, and INCONSEQUENTIALLY, bigger at some points than it is at others.

Posted in YAY, a lot, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, things that I Have, wanting, what I'm wearing, whining, women, worrying | No Comments »

S.O.S.

June 22nd, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

HAVE SCRIPT TO WRITE BUT JUST ACCIDENTALLY GOOGLED CLOGS FOR BABIES

PLZ SEND SOMEONE TO TURN OFF THE INTERNET AND ALSO THE PART OF MY BRAIN THAT WANTS TO LOOK AT BABY CLOGS

Posted in awesome, babies, silly, vices, wanting, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

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