bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

SHREDDING IS LIFE

August 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST DETAILS*

DETAILS INCLUDING THE FACT THAT DESPITE MY PHYSICALLY CAUTIOUS AND SAFETY-SEEKING NATURE, ALL I WANT TO DO FOREVER IS RIP AROUND ON A JETSKI, HUNTING FOR PONTOON BOAT WAVES; TAKE SMALL BREAKS FOR CHIPS

 

Posted in a lot, family, i am lucky, vacay's, YAY | No Comments »

Further and Further Away

August 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t so much have Good dreams or Bad Dreams, I have Worry Dreams, with very simple plots that usually involve me trying to get somewhere important, pushing through sand and time to get there, but the destination keeps getting moved to somewhere far. I dream that I’m supposed to have another surgery but I’m tired of Waiting and I’m Hungry so I go to get a Sandwich but I get lost getting back and I can’t find my hospital bed because I swear I only went five minutes away, but it takes hours to get back to it. I’m realizing that all of these dreams are exactly how I feel about still trying to have a baby.  The end keeps getting moved, pushed farther. It’s always nine months away, plus Whatever Time.  I’ve been walking for hundreds of miles dragging my rolling suitcase full of stones but the Gate has changed, I swear it was There but then it’s Not. Meanwhile I can hear and see everyone, already there. They’re laughing with their toddlers, it’s a picnic, there’s face paint and wading pools and games and chicken nuggets, vats of Annie’s Mac n Cheese, they’re all waiting. Where’s Bekah? It’s so easy to get here. We’ve been here for years. Maybe she’s not coming. And I’m screaming at them, I’m coming, I’m trying, don’t leave, I’m almost there! But they can’t hear me, because as I’m screaming, they’ve moved to another planet, a million miles further away.

Posted in a lot, life, love, the future, the making of babies, what my friends are doing, whining, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

Say Goodbye to These, Michael

August 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes you make a cake for a friend because she’s managed to stay alive X amount of years, and it’s the yearly commemoration of her birth, and sometimes you make her a cake because she’s  getting a double Mastectomy to prevent the spread of her cancer, so that she can be MORE alive, and for longer. My LA little sister Mackenzie has been facing this whole thing head on with HUMOR AND GRACE, ie, she threw a White Girl Witch farewell party for her breasts, featuring an actual rack of lamb and performances by her close friends, staged readings of earnest scenes from the Bachelor, stand-up, song and dance — all formed around this Arrested Development favorite:

Now that she’s safely on the other side of her surgery, I have to share the Lemon Cream Cheese cake that I put all of my love and worry  into. I offered a boob cake, Mack requested that the cake ‘maybe not look like an actual boob, but maybe have…boob WRITING on it?’ PLEASE NOTE THE LITTLE EYEBALL CANDIES THAT ARE MEANT TO TASTEFULLY LOOK LIKE BOOBS.

But mostly I have to share how proud of and in awe I am of this woman. Her ability to laugh at everything and anything. The fact that in the days leading up to her surgery, she was working on pitching her next show and got two job offers. Here’s to so many more years with her, more themed tragedy parties, more inflatable props.

 

Posted in a lot, CAKES, family, food, i am lucky, life, love, the future, what my friends are doing, women, YAY | No Comments »

Actual Coping Mechanism

August 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Amnesty international has issued a travel warning for those traveling to your country of residence / Kids are sobbing for their parents / your fertility shotz are making you want to rage and scream, or maybe it’s just the World? /  You’re behind on Everything / Well, most things / Your donations feel empty / where are they actually going? / is there enough money? Is there TOO much money? / Why does your Pastor drive a car that’s falling apart and yours gleams with excess? / QUICK BUY AN EARRING ORGANIZER AND SPEND A VERY VERY LONG TIME ARRANGING YOUR EARRINGS ONTO IT / GIVE YOURSELF A FALSE SENSATION OF STRUCTURE

AHHHHH THAT’S BETTER WAIT NO IT’S NOT

 

Posted in a lot, ha, the whole world, the worst, things that I Have, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Mars on Earth

August 3rd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Tulsa has a brand new, 100 acre, 450 million dollar public park called the Gathering Place. It’s beautiful and whimsical and thoughtful and pristine, and in any other major city WOULD GET COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY OUR GROSS HUMAN NATURES. But since Oklahoma as a whole state holds only 3.9 million people (LITERALLY THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE LIVING IN LOS ANGELES)  it stays like this:

MAYBE it’s because I’ve been re-reading The Martian Chronicles, but when I visited,  I had the distinct feeling of being on either on a new version of Earth after Earth has been Destroyed, Or on a Mars that is Pretending to be Earth. ALSO IT’S CALLED THE GATHERING PLACE, which is the most sci-fi name for a park I have ever heard. People float around on boats with ice cream cones, kids laugh like a pre-recorded sound cue, grown-ups stroll, everybody seems blissful and maybe a little high, like they were given the Drug that makes them forget the Past.

Kids slide down a giant Swan, or Banana, Though nobody remembers what Bananas or Swans are. There is only Park.

 

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, the future | No Comments »

TELL ME MORE

July 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice Man at airport restaurant busses my table.

Me: Thank you so much!

Nice Man: You’re welcome, Beautiful.

Literally every other woman: Excuse me, but what does my Beauty have to do with anything? I’m just a patron. This is a meant to be a platonic exchange of money for foods and services, HOW DARE YOU.

THIS woman (me): REALLY? THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH, BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK SO? I DIDN’T REALLY HEAR THIS IN A REAL WAY UNTIL MY SATURN WAS RETURNING FOR THE FIRST TIME SO TELL ME MORE*

*PLEASE NOTE THAT MY ACTUAL HUSBAND TELLS ME I’M BEAUTIFUL MOST DAYS AND IT MEANS EVERYTHING, BUT ALSO, IF ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO TELL ME, THAT IS ALSO FINE

Posted in a lot, ha, narcissism | No Comments »

A Gemini Prepares

July 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I am PITCHING A TV SHOW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, driving around town telling various smart and important people about my images and characters and thoughts,  in the hopes of someday getting a show that is Mine on air,  which I means I am full of two very real, very opposing feelings:

Joy at the opportunity and delirious delight in my own ideas, slightly high from the secret pocket feeling that I’m doing the thing I was put on this earth to Do

AND ALSO:

COMPLETE EXISTENTIAL TERROR AND DREAD, TINGED WITH FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND ALSO GUT-EMPTYING FEAR THAT IT’S ALL BEEN A LIE, THAT I AM IN FACT A LIE, THAT THE ONLY TRUE THING IS GRAVITY

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

GIVE ME MOVIES WITH MUSIC

July 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

OR I GUESS GIVE ME OTHER MOVIES BUT I WON’T LIKE THEM NEARLY AS MUCH

Call me basic but I love any movie, literally any movie, that uses songs as set pieces. Just give me two people singing to each other, falling in love.

 

Posted in a lot, le film, music, YAY | No Comments »

What I need to Hear

July 8th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a Sunday morning:

  • I wake up, feeling a need to go to church and be quiet and reflective and pray
  • I Go to church
  • Okay, yes, I get there a few minutes late, but I take my program humbly, receptively, sneak in through the back door
  • I WALK RIGHT IN MID-DEDICATION OF BABIES
  • (For the non-church going readers: this is when new parents bring their babies on stage and dedicate themselves, as parents, to raising their Baby in the church, and the pastor blesses the baby, and the baby pretends to answers questions and all of the childless mothers of Gilead in the sanctuary turn to brownie batter and melt out of their seats and die)
  • I consider TURNING THE OTHER WAY AND RUNNING OUT OF THE CHURCH, and being quite noisy about it on purpose, maybe slamming through some doors, so that everyone knows my pain, and then sits there, putting two and two together
  • I decide, instead, to quietly, respectfully take a seat towards the back and cry quietly, respectfully while the babies are dedicated
  • I Listen to the Pastor as he tells the congregation that this couple in particular prayed and prayed for their daughter Rose; that she was a gift, not an assumption
  • I realize how badly I needed to hear this
  • I sit there, quietly, hearing everything else I needed to hear

Posted in a lot, faith, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the making of babies, the whole world, the worst, whining, women | No Comments »

I talk, he listens, I don’t

June 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I think I don’t even listen to myself when I talk. I’m just sort of whirring around the house, doing 900 things, thinking some things, saying some of them out loud, and Morrison takes the most ridiculous and most important things and writes them down in the notes section of his phone, WHICH IS WHY I got this amazing flowing robe shirt thing for my birthday:

because at some point in the last year while stomping through the house declaring and straightening things, I said I NEED A FLOWING ROBE SHIRT  probably followed by DID WE CALL THE PERSON ABOUT THE THING and DID YOU READ ABOUT THE OTHER THING and HAVE WE DECIDED WHEN WE WERE DOING THAT? Please note his note-taking diligence is ALSO why we forever know that one point I actually said to him, ‘Let’s not mince hairs.’

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., what I'm wearing, women, words, working, worrying | No Comments »

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