January 27th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
I now know why I have such an affinity for young Kate on This is Us, for her obsession with food and her insecurities. In The Pool episode when she gets a note from a mean group of girls declaring they don’t want to hang with her anymore, that was based on something that happened to me, but fifth grade, and cafeteria, and maybe I still have the note and remember exactly who wrote it but I’M NOT HERE TO NAME NAMES REBECCA SINK WAS HER NAME. As it turns out, I am in fact just a grown up version of lil’ Kate:
WE ARE ONE.
Posted in I write for television?, a lot, famous people stuff, i have peace, kids, life, memories, narcissism, women | No Comments »
January 13th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter
After years of resistance, I finally gave in yesterday and tried my first meditation class. I’ve been resisting it because 1.) I do not like to sit still b.) I do not want to be a person who says things like, yesterday I tried my first meditation class. But while in Thailand and Hong Kong, I kept hearing about it and witnessing it, and then once home, my friend Alexis, who has a kindred spirit rapid fire brain, told me she’d started it and that it had completely changed her relationship to her own life — so I was like, FINE. Lord knows I can stand to quiet my head. It was a simple, intro, 30 minute class, and while the teacher kept telling us that we were trees (and also, I’ll admit, some pretty helpful stuff about what it is to be alive, the simplicity of that) I tried very, very hard to sit STILL, and to not judge my own thoughts, or the moments themselves. My thoughts were something like okay is it working I think maybe it’s working okay let me listen to what he’s saying and try and remember it wait what did he just say I already forgot I should really be writing this down okay maybe I’ll just breathe and pretend I am a tree did he say tree or maybe he said flower okay this is not working but I’m breathing and I think I’m still, am I still? Morrison would like this he would be so much better at this than me maybe I should bring him to a class we could do it together and maybe we could get tacos where are tacos what kind of tacos what kind of tortillas tacos hmmm I AM A TREE I AM A TREE. I’m going to take the fact that I basically sat still for 30 minutes as an accomplishment, and try a few more times. I think I see value in finding a way to transcend the whir of my thoughts, and just Be, not ten minutes ahead or two hours behind, just simply where I am, alive, and grateful for it.
Posted in LA angst, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, the whole world | No Comments »
December 17th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Folks, if you’re just tuning in / playing along from home: we are in fact leaving on our honeymoon TOMORROW instead of YESTERDAY. Also, this is a terrible game show. There are no prizes. Maybe find something else to do. Other announcements related to the trip that I am going on, but YOU are not going on, so why do I force you to ride the waves of its drama with me?!: I’m not bringing my computer. Huge, I know. While I COULD get some cool staged pictures of myself ‘working,’ I am more excited to disconnect from my beast friend for a few days for the first time in years and years. I have nightmares monthly that I leave it somewhere. I will now do so on purpose, open my brain back up, confront my bad handwriting, force myself to not google my own thoughts, but instead just have them. The real question: will I blog? I can do so from my phone. And so, PROBABLY.
Posted in a lot, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, the writing of drama plays, things that I Have, trying too hard, vacay's | No Comments »
December 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
LET’S JUST SAY COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL FOR EXAMPLE THAT YOU’RE GOING ON YOUR HONEYMOON WHICH ONLY HAPPENS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU PLANNED IT MONTHS AGO AND NOW SUDDENLY TIME HAS MOVED AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TONIGHT. And maybe you just realized a few weeks ago that your destination of choice, Bali, is in fact enduring its ‘wet season’ during your visit month of choice, and then maybe you look at the forecast seconds before you leave and discover that it’s basically going to look like this the entire time:
And you feel dumb. You also feel disappointed. BUT ALSO YOU FEEL RESOURCEFUL. Also you know how to use the internet. Also you have a husband who is patient and less neurotic, and also you’ve been paid handsomely for your work, as of late. WHY BE PAID HANDSOMELY, IF AT ALL, IF YOU DON’T EVERY NOW AND THEN, LIGHT A LITTLE BIT OF IT ON FIRE TO LAST MINUTE CHANGE YOUR TRIP TO THIS INSTEAD?
PS, we’re off to Hua Hin, Thailand, instead, BECAUSE B.
Posted in I hate money, MAWWAGE., YAY, a lot, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, love, silly, the future, the whole world, whining, working, worrying | No Comments »
November 26th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Is it just me, or does Christmas this year feel like some elaborate ploy to distract us from a nightmare? Doesn’t it feel like goggles strapped to our heads, headphones shoved over our ears to drown out the sounds of drilling? Isn’t it like red and green gas seeping under the door to make us so lightheaded our feet hang just above the lava? BUT ALSO LOOK AT MY CHRISTMAS RECORDS NOW I GET TO LISTEN TO ALL OF THEM ALL MONTH OMG
Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace | No Comments »
November 11th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
What is the antidote to a sad and terrible week? 24 HOURS IN NYC WITH DELI BREAKFAST SANDWICHES AND A READING OF MY CAKE PLAY WITH WONDERFUL, EMPATHETIC ACTORS WHO CARE ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE, both preceded by and followed by tears and heartfelt conversation re: how to move forward; also, martinis, and a whole musical just about Pie.
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November 10th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Posted in a lot, generally, i have peace, life, love | No Comments »
November 9th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
To those who are joyous today, I understand that you are frustrated, disenfranchised, desperate for work, for a change that feels real, trying to feed your families, clinging to what you’ve been taught is right, if not a little ignorant as to how to actually change your circumstances. I am, too. I understand the way the government works just about as much as a I get how cars run or electricity happens. I do not have a brain for understanding complex systems. I have a creative, empathic brain that loves humans, good ones and bad ones too, that is constantly questioning why they do what they do. I have built a whole life, and livelihood, around these questions. This sort of brain that God gave me is exactly why I hope that you 1.) get the life that you want for you and your family, and the means with which to give them that life and 2.) that you do so WITHOUT condoning sexual assault of women, without apathy and anger towards those who don’t love exactly like you do, who aren’t from exactly where you’re from. Obama said it this morning. We’re Americans before we’re Republicans or Democrats. But even before that, we are people.
Posted in a lot, faith, generally, hmmmmm, i am a grown up, i am scared, i have peace, life, oh nooo, optimism, politics, the whole world, things that I Have, words, worrying | No Comments »
November 8th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
I SUSPECT SOMETHING HUGE IS HAPPENING TODAY, BUT INSTEAD OF OBSESSING OVER IT OR TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I MEAN WHAT IS THERE THAT’S LEFT TO SAY, LET’S ALL JUST TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE THAT MY COUSIN JUST SENT ME OF ME IN A BEARD AND MORRISON IN CAT EARS
Posted in MAWWAGE., a lot, i am lucky, i am scared, i have peace, life, love | No Comments »
May 2nd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter
Guess what you guys, I LIVE BY THE BEACH TECHNICALLY! (Truth.) And so today, my friend and I went and stood on it.
I call this picture: QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING SUPER RELAXED ON THE BEACH AND LAUGHING AT HOW SILLY IT ALL IS WHILE MEANWHILE IN THE INSIDE OF MY HEAD IS EXPLODING WITH ALL OF THE OTHER THINGS I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!
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