bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

the man, the myth, the baby

July 23rd, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Okay sure, one might say that a human baby is just like any other human baby who will grow into a full sized human, who smiles occasionally but it’s probably just gas and occasionally poses with his chin on his hand or throws side eye, who sleeps sometimes,  but really none of these things are all that remarkable, but one MAY NOT HAVE YET TO MEET MORRIS’S NEW NEPHEW MOJO WHO IS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS.

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Baby Ambassador.

June 26th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Anne calls Luke the baby ambassador, basically because he makes it seem like all babies spend 90% of their time giggling and gazing at you lovingly, and you know, never screaming ever at all. LUKE I CAN’T WAIT TO VISIT YOUR COUNTRY / IT BETTER NOT HAVE CHANGED.

Posted in MAWWAGE., a lot, babies, life, love | No Comments »

Superlatives.

May 16th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Everyone likes to profess that their baby is the cutest, the smartest, the baby-est, makes the best faces, is the actual picture of a baby from the dictionary, will live out its days charming the actual pants off of anyone he meets. But of course, all babies cannot be the cutest, because then there would be no such thing as most cute. So just to make things easier, let’s all just agree that MORRISON’S NEPHEW / MY SOON TO BE NEPHEW, LUKE, IS THE ACTUAL CUTEST BABY THAT HAS EVER BEEN BORN BY HUMANS.

THROUGHOUT THE HISTORY OF BABIES, HE IS BY FAR THE 100% BEST.

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BEARD BABY

March 1st, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

I dreamt of a baby with a full beard. Which of course sent me straight to google image search, and the results are just. Equal parts horror and intrigue.

They just.

I just can’t.

But then of course, I did.

Posted in ....ew, YAY, a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, ha, i am scared, kids | No Comments »

Stewards of the Earth

February 6th, 2016 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a wee sick sea lion pup somehow made her way into a fancy restaurant in La Jolla, where she promptly snuggled into a booth and fell asleep, in hopes of receiving some sympathy:

That is the actual face of a kid who needs sprite and soup and cartoons and a mom’s cold hand on her warm head. I just can’t with that face. She was severely dehydrated and hungry. Apparently El Nino’s warmer temperatures are causing a limited food supply. SHE JUST WANTS CAMPBELL’S CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP.

Thankfully, she is expected to make a full recovery, and to be released back into the ocean.

But THEN WHAT? WHAT OF HER THEN? I’m worried. What are we, stewards of the earth, meant to do? Should somebody do a kickstarter? Can I adopt her? Can she live in my tub? WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

If nothing else, HUG AN ANIMAL TODAY. UNLESS OF COURSE IT’S A SKUNK IN WHICH CASE RUN.

NO WAIT ACTUALLY HUG THE SKUNK.

Posted in a lot, animals, babies, hmmmmm, i am scared | No Comments »

babies of instagram

August 4th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

I know that I live in LA and sometimes I watch John Hamm eat ravioli but the REAL celebs in my life are my cousins’ babies. I follow them on instagram, I see them take their first steps / chew their first grapes. I pretend to know them even if we’ve never met. Today I got to real life meet Carson, cousin Ella’s squishy little man. I played it cool at first, but eventually attacked him / told him I was a big fan of his work /  asked him for his autograph / he said sure / grabbed my boob.

Posted in babies, family, generally, ha, how interesting | No Comments »

we say these things

May 1st, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

I love all of the weird things we say, on the regular, without thinking about what we are actually saying. We are saying the words, but we mean something else — not the literal words, but an idea that the words conjure. Like I’m gonna butter him up, which is not to say, I’m going to have the person remove their clothing, and then I’m going to grab a stick of butter, and apply said butter all over the person. Or cat got your tongue? which is not to say, Oh, did your tongue somehow get removed from your mouth and find its way to the floor and then the cat found it and has taken it somewhere? But the best: don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater! which is surely not to say, hey, when you’re done washing your human child baby, and you’re trying to get rid of the water in which you bathed him, DO NOT ACCIDENTALLY THROW YOUR ALIVE HUMAN OFFSPRING BABY OUT THE WINDOW / INTO  THE TRASH.

Posted in a lot, awesome, babies, words | No Comments »

what is happening

February 8th, 2015 by Bekah Brunstetter

Got to hang yesterday with my dude Henry, my gal Mary’s lil man,  now six months old (I hadn’t seen him since he was wee.)  I don’t understand what is happening but I seized him instantly and kissed on his face for an hour. I would now like to officially change my status from ‘baby aware’ to ‘baby interest ever so mildly piqued.’

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I think I get babies now

August 6th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

My friend Mary had her baby! His name is Henry, and here he is, a mere two weeks old:

In past experiences with baby-holding, the kid often smells my trepidation and starts to cry. But Henry, bless him, was too small  to sense my fear, and so he snored and dreamt in my arms like a puppy  for nearly an hour. Now: I am certainly not  baby crazy. I also wouldn’t say that I have a way with them. But holding Henry: I kinda got it. He is a perfect little product of both Mary and her husband, pieces of both of them apparent in his delicate face. He is innocent and strong and miraculous. So I think I get babies now. Again, not baby crazy, but  I would officially like to change my status to ‘baby aware.’

Posted in babies | 1 Comment »

Take them a meal

July 28th, 2014 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on Why the Internet:

1.) My friend Mary had her baby! Here is said baby, Henry:

2. GUHHHHHHHHHHHH!

3. Mary’s friend is using this genius website Take them a Meal which makes it super easy to get folks to sign up the bring the new family food, to you know, eat, while the newborn cutely creates terror and turmoil. It’s so smart, and is a perfect example of the internet making it easier for humans to care for and do nice things for each other, instead of just like, providing horrifying pictures of plane crashes and weird porn and article with links to articles with links to articles about how You’re not Happy and How to be Happy and You should Eat Breakfast and Why you should not Eat Breakfast. This site is great. Internet: WAY TO GO!

Posted in a lot, babies, the whole world | No Comments »

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