bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

EASTER APRIL FOOLS

April 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

JESUS: (to his disciples): YOU GUYS! IT’S ME! I’m alive!

Disciples: Whoa, what?

JESUS: I’m alive!

Disciples: WHAT?! THIS IS AMAZING!

JESUS: ….JK!

Disciples:….Wait, what?

JESUS: April foolsssssss! I totally had you guys.

Disciples: Wait, Are you alive or are you not alive?

JESUS: Yes.

Disciple: ….?

JESUS: Ah, man, I LOVE April Fools! I got big plans today. Now who wants to come around with me and tell people the earth is ROUND?

Disciples: That’s hysterical! Obviously all of us.

Posted in a lot, ha, history, hmmmmm, holidays, how interesting | No Comments »

All I wanna do, is plate some food

March 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes (all of the time) (particularly when I’m on hiatus) there is nothing more satisfying than spending way too much time preparing and plating dinner, like even pulling out the fun plates and placemats and napkins from the wedding registry that you thought you’d never use, and then laying it all out and presenting it to your husband like a five year old who cleaned their room but really just put their pillow on their bed. I PRESENT TO YOU, almond crusted rainbow trout with sides of swiss chard and my deep need to be complimented!

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., trying too hard, working, YAY | No Comments »

extent of my knowledge

March 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The news: Trump’s proposed tariffs on steel could potentially hurt American steel makers.

Me: wait, people MAKE steel?

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, things, trying too hard | No Comments »

challenges of parenting (?)

March 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I imagine there are a lot of really hard things about raising kids, like ‘instilling moral code’ and ‘keeping them from running in front of cars’ and ‘ ‘explaining to them what death is’ but HOW DO YOU NOT EAT ALL OF THEIR GOLDFISH CRACKERS? NO, I’M REALLY ASKING, PARENTS, HOW IS IT THAT YOU DO NOT JUST NEGLECT ALL PARENTING AND INSTEAD JUST EAT ALL OF THEIR GOLDFISH

SaveSave

SaveSave

Posted in food, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

sistermotherdaughter

March 11th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Facial giving person (technical term?): Aw, You guys look like sisters! 

Later, my Mom snickers.

Me: What?

Mom: Sorry!

Me: For what?

Mom: That’s an insult for you, and a compliment for me! 

(BUT REALLY MOM THANKS FOR THE SKIN.)

Posted in a lot, family, ha, love, women, YAY | No Comments »

ASSISTANCE, S’IL VOUS PLAIT

March 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

WOKE UP TRAPPED IN A FRENCH FILM ABOUT LONGING AND PAIN AND PAJAMAS

PLEASE SEND HELP / HAIRBRUSHES / BAGUETTES

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

working memoir title game

March 7th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To most thoroughly know oneself, it’s important to have a working list of possible titles for your memoir. It is in fact one of my favorite games, to add ‘….The Bekah Brunstetter Story’ to  the end of some insane thing that I think or say, or to do the same for my friends. Currently, the working title of my memoir is “I  Can’t have Chips in the House (NO SERIOUSLY IF EVEN IF YOU HIDE THEM IN A PLACE THAT I CAN’T SEE OR REACH I WILL SOMEHOW KNOW THEY ARE THERE, LIKE I WILL FEEL THE CHIPS IN MY SOUL AND SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FIND THEM AND EAT THEM BEFORE YOU CAN SAY WHO ATE THOSE CHIPS I HID FROM BEKAH?) — The  Bekah Brunstetter Story.” PLAY ALONG TODAY!

Posted in food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

The semi-annual nibling sweater report

March 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

A few moons ago, I found myself filming for two days in a creepy westside mall that seemed to include only a Baby Gap, a pretzel place a store that sold only dream catchers, and memories of walking by Abercrombie and Fitch just to smell it and be smelled. Smelt?  Naturally, I spent my lunch breaks losing my mind in said Baby Gap, and spent basically my wages for the week on sweaters for my niblings. Just  yesterday, I happened to receive status reports of said sweaters from their said parents and just — HERE.

Olivia, in pink:

Luke, in Charlie Brown:

I continue to be obsessed with said sweaters. Is this how said works? You say something, and then you say you said it by saying said before it? ENGLISH WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR SAID SELF

Posted in a lot, babies, family, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, YAY | No Comments »

hold music

March 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m pretty sure that everyone has hold music that their brain just goes to whenever it’s resting / processing / rendering. Mine is about 30 percent baptist hymns, 28 percent the Sound of Music, 2 percent Kendrick Lamar’s Backseat freestyle, and at least 40% Uncle Jesse’s song, Forever. So basically if you’ve asked me a difficult question and I’m just kind of staring at you, JUST KNOW THERE’S A REALLY GOOD CHANCE THAT I’M LISTENING TO THIS.

Posted in ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, music, YAY | No Comments »

how to work out after work

March 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Tell yourself you’re going to work out after work
  • Wear workout pants to work
  • Spend the whole day talking any opportunity to mention to any available coworker that you are going to work out after work
  • Get home, remove workout pants, eat meatballs
  • Get up to get more meatballs, walk back to couch
  • Congrats, you have worked out

Posted in food, generally, ha, whining | No Comments »

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