bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Actual Coping Mechanism

August 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Amnesty international has issued a travel warning for those traveling to your country of residence / Kids are sobbing for their parents / your fertility shotz are making you want to rage and scream, or maybe it’s just the World? /  You’re behind on Everything / Well, most things / Your donations feel empty / where are they actually going? / is there enough money? Is there TOO much money? / Why does your Pastor drive a car that’s falling apart and yours gleams with excess? / QUICK BUY AN EARRING ORGANIZER AND SPEND A VERY VERY LONG TIME ARRANGING YOUR EARRINGS ONTO IT / GIVE YOURSELF A FALSE SENSATION OF STRUCTURE

AHHHHH THAT’S BETTER WAIT NO IT’S NOT

 

Posted in a lot, ha, the whole world, the worst, things that I Have, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

BOOK A CLOWN

August 1st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m back in town, prepping and getting my head in the game for some upcoming IVF hullabaloo, which means blood draws and needle parties and Google panics and that I just bought 47 pounds of Kale but all I can think about is Wine. MOST IMPORTANTLY, while researching things One can Do to Pretend to be in Control of One’s life While undergoing IVF, I stumbled across this gem nugget of advice:

SO HEADS UP MORRISON WILL BE SPENDING THE NEXT TWO MONTHS PREPPING HIS TIGHT FIVE AS AN IVF CLOWN / JOKE PITCHES WELCOME.

 

Posted in generally, ha, life, love, MAWWAGE., the making of babies, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

TELL ME MORE

July 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Nice Man at airport restaurant busses my table.

Me: Thank you so much!

Nice Man: You’re welcome, Beautiful.

Literally every other woman: Excuse me, but what does my Beauty have to do with anything? I’m just a patron. This is a meant to be a platonic exchange of money for foods and services, HOW DARE YOU.

THIS woman (me): REALLY? THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH, BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK SO? I DIDN’T REALLY HEAR THIS IN A REAL WAY UNTIL MY SATURN WAS RETURNING FOR THE FIRST TIME SO TELL ME MORE*

*PLEASE NOTE THAT MY ACTUAL HUSBAND TELLS ME I’M BEAUTIFUL MOST DAYS AND IT MEANS EVERYTHING, BUT ALSO, IF ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO TELL ME, THAT IS ALSO FINE

Posted in a lot, ha, narcissism | No Comments »

A Gemini Prepares

July 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Next week, I am PITCHING A TV SHOW FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, driving around town telling various smart and important people about my images and characters and thoughts,  in the hopes of someday getting a show that is Mine on air,  which I means I am full of two very real, very opposing feelings:

Joy at the opportunity and delirious delight in my own ideas, slightly high from the secret pocket feeling that I’m doing the thing I was put on this earth to Do

AND ALSO:

COMPLETE EXISTENTIAL TERROR AND DREAD, TINGED WITH FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND ALSO GUT-EMPTYING FEAR THAT IT’S ALL BEEN A LIE, THAT I AM IN FACT A LIE, THAT THE ONLY TRUE THING IS GRAVITY

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

What I need to Hear

July 8th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, a Sunday morning:

  • I wake up, feeling a need to go to church and be quiet and reflective and pray
  • I Go to church
  • Okay, yes, I get there a few minutes late, but I take my program humbly, receptively, sneak in through the back door
  • I WALK RIGHT IN MID-DEDICATION OF BABIES
  • (For the non-church going readers: this is when new parents bring their babies on stage and dedicate themselves, as parents, to raising their Baby in the church, and the pastor blesses the baby, and the baby pretends to answers questions and all of the childless mothers of Gilead in the sanctuary turn to brownie batter and melt out of their seats and die)
  • I consider TURNING THE OTHER WAY AND RUNNING OUT OF THE CHURCH, and being quite noisy about it on purpose, maybe slamming through some doors, so that everyone knows my pain, and then sits there, putting two and two together
  • I decide, instead, to quietly, respectfully take a seat towards the back and cry quietly, respectfully while the babies are dedicated
  • I Listen to the Pastor as he tells the congregation that this couple in particular prayed and prayed for their daughter Rose; that she was a gift, not an assumption
  • I realize how badly I needed to hear this
  • I sit there, quietly, hearing everything else I needed to hear

Posted in a lot, faith, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the making of babies, the whole world, the worst, whining, women | No Comments »

Two Girls, One Forehead

June 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

New year, new license! L: 2019; R: 2015. Caption options:

  • Two very slowly aging cabbage patch kids
  • Two women, super gradually figuring out
  • TWO MURDERESSES WHO CAN’T FOR THE LIFE OF THEM SIGN THEIR FREAKING NAMES IN ANY SORT OF ADULT TYPE WAY

Posted in generally, ha, narcissism | No Comments »

A Big Day.

June 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

It’s the last day of my 36th year on earth, and it is time for grand changes to announce the passage of time to myself, and so sadly, inevitably, IT IS FINALLY TIME TO THROW AWAY THIS SPORTS BRA I GOT AT A GOODWILL IN CHAPEL HILL, NC IN 2003.

IN MY DEFENSE, AT THE TIME, IT WAS NEW. But over the years it has stretched to the size of a shirt,  lost all its elasticity and is about as supportive as the parents of a kid who says he wants to ‘make memes for a living’ (#SPORTSBRAJOKE / WHERE IS MAMRIE HART WHEN YOU NEED HER?)  I can’t tell you how many times over the last SIXTEEN YEARS I have pulled it out of the drawer and thought, is this the day? Are you the day? Is this over, bra? Suddenly, it is now. Why? Growth and change and SHAME / MOSTLY IT IS SHAME

 

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, vintage, what i am NOT wearing, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

WHY TO GO TO THE DENTIST

June 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t know who went and told my dentist that I’m badly in need of positive affirmations these days, but this was yesterday:

MY DENTIST, after examining my teeth: Wow. Everything’s looking great. You’re doing a great job.

ME: …Thank you! I’ve been trying to floss? More regularly?

MY DENTIST: Really. You should know what a great job you’re doing.

ME:…Thank you!

MY DENTIST: I see a lot of people in here, and you are one of the people who’s doing a great job.

ME (so moved): …..Seriously…I really appreciate that.

MY DENTIST: Honestly. Just…really, really good job.

ME: (SOBBING) THANK YOU

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, i am a grown up, the future, whining, worrying | No Comments »

DAD VIBES

May 25th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I wrote my next play, Public Servant, for many reasons, perhaps too many? Because don’t we change  as we live and so the play must change, as it Lives? But one of the main reasons was to humanize — not glorify, just humanize —  the Politician, not the US Senator, per se, but the local government Politician, specifically the County Commissioner, which my Dad served as for many years. It’s loosely based on  his early days in politics, the difficulties of raising a family while also working another job and also trying to run a county and please everyone (impossible.) The character is of course not fully my Dad, but inspired by. And so when I showed up yesterday, mid-tech, having had zero input on costumes, I WAS DELIGHTED TO FIND THIS:

I CAN FIND NO PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE BUT I SWEAR TO YOU MY DAD HAS WORN THIS EXACT OUTFIT. But just so we’re all clear, and just so we give respect and context where they are due, HE ALSO OFTENTIMES LOOKS LIKE THIS:

Posted in family, generally, ha, the writing of drama plays, theater, what i am NOT wearing | No Comments »

SPOILERZ / PREDICTIONZ

May 20th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

My brilliant and trickstery bro-in-law John made this Quiz to accompany last night’s Game of Thrones Series finale, and I’ll just leave my PREDICTIONS here:

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET, SPOILER: DANY DOES NOT DIE FROM PERIOD

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, trying too hard, YAY | No Comments »

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