bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

re: Cats; Bags

May 21st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Never, under any circumstances, should you let the Cat out of the Bag. Not even because you might spoil secrets, but because CATS STUCK IN BAGS, AND WATCHING CATS EXTRACT THEMSELVES FROM BAGS ONCE THEY’VE BECOME STUCK, IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD AND ALSO WHY THEY INVENTED THE INTERNET.

Posted in a lot, animals, ha, silly, YAY | No Comments »

Mirror, Mirror, on my Nails

May 20th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

WHO IS THE PERSON WHO WILL SPEND 50 DOLLARS ON A GEL MANICURE THAT MAKE HER NAILS LOOK LIKE MIRRORS?

WAIT…IT’S ME?

OKAY SO AT WHAT POINT EXACTLY DID I BECOME THIS PERSON?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO GO BACK IN TIME, RE-PRIORITIZE?

NO? YOU’RE NOT THAT KIND OF MIRROR? YOU ONLY ANSWER RHETORICAL QUESTIONS AND DO SPELLS? COOL COOL, AS YOU WERE

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, what I'm wearing, worrying | No Comments »

herstory

May 18th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, the other night:

  • Stands at bar waiting to be served
  • Notices that all of the dudes at the bar are straight up staring at her
  • Marvels at this, assumes that it must be the fact that she curled her hair. At first gets a little angry, like, just because she kinda looks like a Barbie, NOW she gets attention? But also, or mostly, she feels flattered, if not drop dead gorgeous; Muses over what a difference a little self care can make, you just have to —
  • Realizes there is a giant TV playing sports right behind her head

Posted in generally, ha, silly, women | No Comments »

upfronts

May 15th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Allow me to be UPFRONT with you. For years, as a working TV writer, I heard the word upfronts in various sentences. i.e., I can’t that week, I’ll be at upfronts and they’re going to announce it at upfronts and we have to wait and see what happens at upfronts and I would nod and feign understanding and respond with things like oh, right, upfronts and even make my OWN sentences like, MAN, THOSE UPFRONTS! But I KNEW NOT WHAT I SAID. But this year, I can say this sentence with both confidence and understanding: The darling This is Us cast is currently at UPFRONTS by which I mean, the time when all of the people from all the shows go to NYC and present for advertisers so that the advertisers can say, you look like you could sell my deodorant! upfronts upfronts, and then everyone walks away with money (?)

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, I write for television?, LA angst | No Comments »

moment catcher

May 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I promise that tomorrow I’ll return to regular coverage of my weird bad dreams, but just one more time, Tulum. I love this picture I took:

These two dudes (whom the girls sitting across from us noted had ‘extreme Dothraki vibes’) were just spinning around on the roof of this nest, reveling in the storm clouds as they moved in. I mean, just before they started spinning, they were taking an absurd amount of panoramic pictures, but then at a certain point, they stopped taking pictures, and just experienced the moment. Enter ME, secretly taking a picture of THEM while they thoroughly inhabited the moment. Is there a business there? You hire someone to secretly capture you in authentic moments, in which you don’t know that your picture is being taken at all? IS THERE?

Wait.

I think I mean photographer.

Yes I do.

I mean photographer.

 

Posted in a lot, boys, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, trying too hard, vacay's, words, YAY | No Comments »

Celebs

May 9th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

There was a professional photographer present at my friend Stephen’s Cinco De Mayo party, and so naturally, he took a few candid shots of us, since we were Sitting and wearing Shirts.  Instead of selling them directly to People Magazine, I think I’ll just share them here, because I’m for the People.

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Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, fancy, generally, ha, MAWWAGE., what my friends are doing | No Comments »

TOOT TOOT / JEEP JEEP

May 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yes, this IS a picture of me with my new car (a Jeep Compass, so that I might feel like I still live in NC, because I big time associate Jeeps with the Thruway shopping center parking lot, drives to the mountains) but mostly it’s a shout out to all of the husbands out there who take 900 pictures of us and then when we don’t like them, take 900 more, and when we don’t like THOSE, they tell us to turn away, think of Farts, and look back at the Camera. WORKS EVERY TIME.

Posted in generally, ha, horn tooting, i am a grown up, MAWWAGE., things, things that I Have, where i want to live | No Comments »

extended forecast

May 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

When preparing for any sort of travel, I maintain my typical chill energy and only check the extended weather forecast 6-7 times a day. I just find it incredibly useful to know what will be happening to and around myself ten days from now. I wish there could be an extended forecast for life. Like, A week from Wednesday you will drink too much wine and have that dream where you have five babies but they live inside of the deli counter at the grocery store so you’re going to wake up very confused and unable to accomplish anything so maybe don’t schedule work for Thursday and also bring an umbrella 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, vacay's, whining, YAY | No Comments »

the Big Questions

April 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

God bless Julien for keeping every note we wrote to each other in high school, even though some of them reflect a rift between us that neither of us can fully recall or explain. Mostly it seems that I rambled to her about my low self-esteem, how embarrassing it was to try and pass the push up test in gym, then asked her important life questions, just as I strive to do in my adult life.

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

What kind of jeans does mustard wear?

What kind of cat goes best with pasta?

Do pickles go to the bathroom?

Whatever.

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Posted in awesome, ha, i am a grown up, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

good with kids

April 29th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison is very, very, VERY good with kids, mostly because he takes them seriously and speaks to them like they’re adults, while at the same time, playing into their imaginations. With me,  it’s mostly awkward. (Me: HOW’S YOUR WEEKEND GOING? GET INTO ANY TROUBLE? DO YOU LIKE WINE? AM I TALKING LOUD?)  Yesterday, the school where Morrison TA’s had its (CHARMING; INCREDIBLE) spring carnival, and so naturally, we  played laser tag in a gym with a bunch of kids. At one point, I looked over and saw Morrison doing a slow motion death-roll on the ground while two little girls in pigtails stood over him, casually shooting him point blank. That fact on its own is NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS STORY.

Waiting in line to enter, we decided to form an alliance with four other kids. The plan was to hole up behind the big pile of Mats in the Northwest corner of the room. We got our guns, the room went dark, and we ran to our station. But as I lept behind mats next to Morrison, one kid looks at me skeptically.

Kid: Who’s that?

Morrison: It’s okay. She’s safe.

Me (to kid): I’m your wife!

The kid just looks at me.

Kid: Wait, what?

Me: Oh, wait, no, I meant —

Morrison: She’s MY wife.

Me: I’m HIS wife! Hahahaha! You don’t have a wife! That’d be weird. I promise I’m not your wife. Hahahahaha! I’m an adult!

Kid:…..okay……?

The kid returned to the game, only to turn on me ten minutes later, like this:

Kid: (innocently) How many lives do you have left?

Me: I’m not sure, how can I tell?

Kid: (brightly): Lemmee see your gun!

I hold it out to him, and he SHOOTS ME POINT BLANK.

Me: What the hell?!

Kid: (shrugging) ….friendly fire.

Me: HEY. THAT’S NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR WIFE.

 

 

 

 

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Posted in a lot, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, kids, silly, tout, trying too hard, whining | No Comments »

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