bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Lunch as Person

August 26th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m sharing a house in beautiful Rhinebeck, New York for the week with my A.D. 16 (teenage Mary Magdalene and Jesus musical) collaborators, director Stephen and composer / lyricist Cinco. We’ve got a week to talk about our project and TRY NOT TO GET LYME DISEASE. These theater development things are always part drama play, PART CHECKING EACH OTHER FOR TICKS, and part social experiment in which completely grown adults are forced to see each other in their Pajamas, observe each other’s odd at home habits and food ticks (AHHH TICKS). As we develop our project, we learn about each other as humans. I would like to here highlight our lunches, so that you might understand us more, as people.

. Cinco’s seven year old boy lunch (note: he is the oldest of all of us, by some years):

My fat kid body issues sausage kale egg scramble:

STEPHEN’S BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED AND PLATED SPREAD OF SOFT AND HARD CHEESES, SOPRASATA, DRIED OLIVES AND SUMMER TOMATO SALAD:

I FEEL LIKE YOU GET US NOW.

Posted in food, ha, the writing of drama plays, theater, Uncategorized, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

Further and Further Away

August 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I don’t so much have Good dreams or Bad Dreams, I have Worry Dreams, with very simple plots that usually involve me trying to get somewhere important, pushing through sand and time to get there, but the destination keeps getting moved to somewhere far. I dream that I’m supposed to have another surgery but I’m tired of Waiting and I’m Hungry so I go to get a Sandwich but I get lost getting back and I can’t find my hospital bed because I swear I only went five minutes away, but it takes hours to get back to it. I’m realizing that all of these dreams are exactly how I feel about still trying to have a baby.  The end keeps getting moved, pushed farther. It’s always nine months away, plus Whatever Time.  I’ve been walking for hundreds of miles dragging my rolling suitcase full of stones but the Gate has changed, I swear it was There but then it’s Not. Meanwhile I can hear and see everyone, already there. They’re laughing with their toddlers, it’s a picnic, there’s face paint and wading pools and games and chicken nuggets, vats of Annie’s Mac n Cheese, they’re all waiting. Where’s Bekah? It’s so easy to get here. We’ve been here for years. Maybe she’s not coming. And I’m screaming at them, I’m coming, I’m trying, don’t leave, I’m almost there! But they can’t hear me, because as I’m screaming, they’ve moved to another planet, a million miles further away.

Posted in a lot, life, love, the future, the making of babies, what my friends are doing, whining, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

Say Goodbye to These, Michael

August 11th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Sometimes you make a cake for a friend because she’s managed to stay alive X amount of years, and it’s the yearly commemoration of her birth, and sometimes you make her a cake because she’s  getting a double Mastectomy to prevent the spread of her cancer, so that she can be MORE alive, and for longer. My LA little sister Mackenzie has been facing this whole thing head on with HUMOR AND GRACE, ie, she threw a White Girl Witch farewell party for her breasts, featuring an actual rack of lamb and performances by her close friends, staged readings of earnest scenes from the Bachelor, stand-up, song and dance — all formed around this Arrested Development favorite:

Now that she’s safely on the other side of her surgery, I have to share the Lemon Cream Cheese cake that I put all of my love and worry  into. I offered a boob cake, Mack requested that the cake ‘maybe not look like an actual boob, but maybe have…boob WRITING on it?’ PLEASE NOTE THE LITTLE EYEBALL CANDIES THAT ARE MEANT TO TASTEFULLY LOOK LIKE BOOBS.

But mostly I have to share how proud of and in awe I am of this woman. Her ability to laugh at everything and anything. The fact that in the days leading up to her surgery, she was working on pitching her next show and got two job offers. Here’s to so many more years with her, more themed tragedy parties, more inflatable props.

 

Posted in a lot, CAKES, family, food, i am lucky, life, love, the future, what my friends are doing, women, YAY | No Comments »

WILL DO IT ALL

May 31st, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Ever since I went wide with our fertility struggles / welcomed friends and families and colleagues into my Uterus, I have received some really really beautiful notes of encouragement and gifts. I want to highlight two of them here, from two of my favorite women, as they are so different, and yet so the same. First, from my cousin Ella, a Catholic Saint card for me to pray to — Saint Gerard, Patron of expectant Mothers and Fertility:

And from sister in law Jacy, a beautiful fertility goddess necklace / charm, from NYC jewelry designer Suna Bonometti:

I’m going to wear the card around my neck. I’m going to pray to the necklace. I’m going to hold both close and believe in everything and anything in front of me, but most of all, KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE THE MOST BEST.

Posted in a lot, things that I Have, what my friends are doing, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Path to Healing

May 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I can’t meditate for more than 3 minutes without getting distracted, and the few times I’ve done acupuncture I’ve just laid there watching the clock and wondering things like ‘Am I healing? Is it happening? What’re we doing right now?’  and last night after my D&C I had an entire bag of Haribo gummies and ice cream for dinner.  I am no Earth Mother or Mother of the Earth, I am not Zen or Chill, but RIGHT NOW I WILL USE THE WORDS ‘PATH TO HEALING,’ and boldly declare that going wide with our fertility struggles has comforted me beyond my greatest expectations. Last night, Haribo gummy cherries hanging out of my mouth, I read hundreds of messages received from friends and strangers, bold and honest messages about fertility struggles and successes. AND IT HAS GIVEN ME LIFE. Thank you to all who share and continue to share. Here was mine:

Last weekend, we had our second miscarriage. I know I’m supposed to tuck this away, share with just close family and friends, compartmentalize and get back to work, which I’ve done before. But this time, I’m sharing here to challenge any and all notions that getting pregnant is CHARMING AND ADORABLE AND JOYFUL AND WHIMSICAL, and only these. For us, and for so many other women and couples, it has been a nightmare. It’s long and stressful and expensive and painful and terrifying. I’ve met parts of myself I never knew, gross bits of rage and frustration and jealousy and sadness. My hope and faith have withered. But I’ve also been so moved by the women who have opened up to me about the absurdity and sometimes hilarity of their own losses and journeys. And I want to do anything I can to help remove any of guilt and shame that comes with this horrible yet INCREDIBLY REGULAR thing / 20 PERCENT OF PREGNANCIES END IN MISCARRIAGE / GRIEVING PEOPLE ARE ALL AROUND YOU / HI, I AM ONE OF THEM. I also share this here because I’m longing for any personal stories, things like I had five miscarriages and now my toddler keeps grabbing my phone out of my hand! And / or my uterus is made of construction paper and now it’s full of twins! Or even, I am going through this fucking bullshit too, would you like to get together and throw bottles of wine against a wall? Feel free to DM me. I’m grateful for anything anyone feels like sharing, but mostly grateful for Morrison, who is the most completely amazing partner that has ever lived.

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, babies, sucking, the future, the making of babies, the whole world, the worst, wanting, what my friends are doing, women, words, worrying | No Comments »

The Spread

July 16th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I think my  favorite feeling in the world might be the one that I get when I make a bunch of food and lay it out on a table for my friends. My second favorite feeling is the one that I get when I watch my friends eat said food with a huge, creepy smile on my face, and they’re like could you stop watching me? I’m trying to eat and I’m like I made the food, so I get to watch you eat it  and they’re like yes and I thank you for it, but maybe could you be a bit more subtle and I’m like SHUT UP AND EAT WHILE I WATCH YOU

Posted in food, generally, ha, i am lucky, what my friends are doing, YAY | No Comments »

on the nose

July 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I love when I have a dream that is so on the nose, it’s like a sixth grader wrote it for an assignment they were just trying to finish  real fast so that they could hang OUT   with their FRIENDS, MOM! Last night, I dreamt that I was trying to make it to the airport for an flight (80% of my dreams) but ALSO, I was frantically trying to give everyone I knew presents, like carefully laid out mementos with inside jokes and handwritten notes. MAYBE DO I WISH I HAD MORE TIME TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS MUCH? THANKS FOR THE CRYPTIC MESSAGE, SUBCONSCIOUS!

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, how interesting, what my friends are doing, whining | No Comments »

Rachel

July 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

 

Me, to friend: Let’s have dinner and catch up!

Friend: Yes please, let’s! Who should we reach out to, to schedule?

Me: what?

Friend: …..who should my assistant reach out to, to schedule dinner?

Me:….me? Reach out to me?

Friend: Great! Rachel will reach out.

Me:….Should I have a Rachel?

Friend: EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A RACHEL, BEKAH.

Me:….will she call my eye doctor five times a day until they finally pick up and I can order new contact lenses so I can stop rationing them out to my eyes like gruel?

Friend: THIS IS WHAT RACHEL DOES.

(I realize that I did have someone helping me out last summer who we can technically call an assistant, but still, I’m just marveling at this NEW REALITY.)

(Also said friend 100% needs an assistant.  LOOK AT HER FREAKING GO.)

Posted in a lot, ha, i am lucky, i am scared, what my friends are doing | No Comments »

The Roast

May 31st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today is Julien’s birthday, and so some friends in Winston are gathering to Roast her. Hoping to participate remotely,  I tried to come up with a list of solid burns to text her. The result: IT’S SO ANNOYING HOW LOYAL SHE IS and SHE’S THE WORST WITH HOW SHE’S ALWAYS KEEPING UP WITH YOUR LIFE AND CHECKING IN ALL THE TIME and I HATE HOW MUCH SHE SENDS ME A BOX OF MACADAMIA NUT MILK BECAUSE OF THAT TIME I SAID I LIKE MACADAMIAS and HER HAIR IS SO PRETTY AND FLUFFY AND SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WALK BY HER, HER BIG FLUFFY HAIR TOUCHES YOUR FACE and SHE LOVES TO CLIMB ROCKS AND SO SOMETIMES, DAMN HER, YOU END UP IN BEAUTIFUL PLACES ALWAYS CLIMBING ROCKS. BURN! In summation, I just don’t think that roasting friends is my scene. I think I’ll stick to roasting Broccoli and complete strangers wearing pants that don’t fit.

 

Posted in generally, love, what my friends are doing, women, words, YAY | No Comments »

dîtes-moi

May 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night a friend  opened up to me about some life nonsense she was dealing with, like all of it, which was truly a lot. And after, she told me that she hadn’t shared all of this with anyone other than me — but she felt like she could tell me anything, because she knows I won’t judge her, and well, that was one of the best things I’ve ever heard. Maybe sharing this here is braggadocious, but hearing that from her just really moved me. I’m not brave, per se, and I’m not so much strong. I’m anxious and I’m a worrier and I’m conflict averse, I’m easily swayed,  and I never and I do mean NEVER clean out the coffee maker. But:  you can tell me anything. And I will not judge you. I will hold your hand and listen. I will go home and NOT clean out my coffee maker.

Posted in a lot, generally, horn tooting, what my friends are doing, women | No Comments »

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