bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Let’s all listen to Geri

January 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

One of the highlights of my 2018 was randomly connected with a retired therapist, Geri, who grew up with my Grandma Roberta, during an Ashkenazi immigrant cultural heyday in Brooklyn. Please let it never be forgotten that when I first moved to Brooklyn, I got an old bike, named her Roberta, and rode my Grandma all around her previous stomping grounds.  Roberta died sort of suddenly, before I got to know her that well, which is entirely my fault, as I had plenty of time, but we were so similar that I think we reflected ourselves back to each other, were too much like the south poles  of magnets. Geri saw my name in an article about the Cake, reached out via my agent, and we began chatting intermittently over email and phone. I received the below from her, yesterday — (she’s referring to an article I did in which I speak to feeling religiously, politically ‘split in two.’)

I just read the LA Times article from June/2017 and now the shrink speaks.  Nothing,  absolutely nothing can split you apart – that will always be  your choice, so never go there. You have every right to feel confused, conflicted, stupid, and so on, and that’s called growing, and grappling with who you are always becoming, enriched, smarter more humane where all that grappling takes us, so go with it, and always be exactly who you are, at that moment, because that is the reality of how we live, and eventually you’ll have it all worked out, and by then you won’t give a shit. Just be the who you recognize and if some of that is in confusion so be it, confusion and nuance are wonderful, they deepen us.  I am awed by the degree/depth of your productivity and probably are the object of enormous envy so relax and be Bekah, whoever the hell she is, she’s terrific.

Posted in a lot, family, i am lucky, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

Love, the Nice Girl who Works Here

December 26th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

The absolute best part of this Christmas has definitely been that my Grandparents, who I rarely get to see anymore, are down from Maryland. My Grandpa is deep in the throes of Alzheimer’s, and my Grandma, on the other hand, somehow gets sharper every day, and less filtered, like she will CALL. IT. OUT. Alzheimers of the genetic variety runs deep in my grandpa’s family, tho it affects everyone differently. We’re lucky that at this point, he  is  sort of joyfully forgetful, has a less dark version of the disease. He kind of has no idea what’s happening or where he is, but is basically always at peace, unless of course there’s no ice cream or a woman is driving him. He knows who my Grandma is, ‘The Wife,’ but that’s basically it when it comes to people. And so over the last few days, I’ve managed to become ‘the nice girl who works here,’ the nice girl who shows him where to sit to get the best view of the lake, where the bathroom is, who refreshes his coffee. I like to think he thinks he’s at some extremely hospitable waterside bed and breakfast, where the proprietors treat you like family, fuss over you, find your shoes, where there’s a Nice Girl who Works there, who seems familiar in a way that’s strange but comforting, but doesn’t everyone, at a certain point?

 

Posted in a lot, family, love | No Comments »

6, scared of 7

December 14th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on I CAN CONTROL THE FUTURE WITH MY FEELINGS: For whatever reason, 36 feels like a safe, good, young age to me. There’s a roundness to it, a lightness, a youth. But then I think about turning 37 next year, and it has a danger, a sharpness, an oldness. 38 feels round again, safe and young again, but in an old way. 39 feels like a cliff, 40 like campground at high elevation with built in firepits,  a stunning view. Even, odd. I now know that I will turn 37 and not yet be a mom (tho perhaps in growth stage?)  I keep fixating on that number and punishing myself for it. I also keep fixating on the ages of women younger than me, who already have their kids / are currently growing them, and I keep feeling behind, like I’m supposed to be ahead but not, which is another way to say behind, which I already said, because I feel it to the point of repetition. And so, I’ll remind myself here:

Things that are NOT competitions:

  • who breathes the most per minute
  • who grows their hair the fastest
  • Having Kids

Things that ARE competitions:

  • Races
  • The Great British Baking show
  • Competitions

 

 

 

 

Posted in a lot, family, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., the making of babies, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Fantasy or Fever Dream?

November 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This Thanksgiving will forever go down in history as That Time I Spent an Entire Year looking forward to hosting my own Thanksgiving in my own house for my Husband’s family, nearly a lifelong goal of mine, only to contract a cold from hell a few days before game time, but flat out refused to let it affect my fantasy plans or anyone’s holiday, and so I pushed through like a mad woman assisted by Sister in Laws and Sudafed, to the point of Fever, and SOMEHOW IT ALL HAPPENED, in fact I miraculously started to feel better an hour before dinner was served, and it still managed to be the most marvelous Thanksgiving ever, with two kinds of stuffing and family everywhere, or MAYBE I SWEAT DREAMT IT? A few of my favorite images from my Fever dream:

Morrison somehow arranged our dining room so it fit 14 people / WE GOT TO USE ALL OF OUR PLACEMATS / WHY IS THIS SO EXCITING TO ME / DO I NEED HELP:

 .  

With much advice and assistant from sister in Law Jacy and also the internet, I roasted my first turkey and no one (yet) died:

Tiny people literally everywhere:

SIL Anne with that portrait mode:

Featured dishes: my sausage, apple and fennel cornbread stuffing, and MIL Cam’s Chile Relleno casserole (cheese / eggs / sour cream / chile rellenos / ABSURDLY GOOD)

A large percentage of my favorite people, all in one place:

 

Posted in a lot, awesome, family, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

how to dance with (near) your parents

November 3rd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Going through tiny baby brother Tim’s recently released wedding pictures, and I’d just like to leave these here, as a helpful guide, for the next time you’re at a wedding with your parents, and just aren’t sure what to do with your body / face:

Posted in family, how interesting, i am a grown up, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

girl, inside

August 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

When I remember to get my hair cut, I always leave the place feeling like an elegant, effortless Body Wash Commercial, stepping out of a white limo on a Loop,

But then I quickly remember the girl inside, who recedes into her chins, pouting at the family wedding because everyone ate all of the mini quiches before she could have one.

I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER THAT THIS IS WHY I WAS POUTING.

Posted in family, food, ha, how interesting, i am a grown up, Uncategorized | No Comments »

where to Look when your brother Weds

August 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

My Tiny baby brother Tim got married on Friday, to a  gorgeous, grounded and kind cardiac nurse — and by kind nurse, I mean she left her rehearsal dinner to escort a family member who was having a heart event* to the ER (*what playwrights call bad heart things.)  I don’t know what I was expecting, watching my youngest brother, who I shared a room with for years, who I think the largest world of, who I think has the the tenderest of hearts and sharpest of wits though he never presents with either — marry the girl he loves — but basically every time I caught him looking at her with any sort of love, the kind of of love that shuts out the world and the wedding and all expectations and even the past, I sobbed through my eyelash glue for 17 seconds.

I didn’t have to do a toast, but obviously, Dan and Pete toasted Tim. The toasts were beautiful, laced with emotional restraint and military humor and humble admissions of what it feels like to look up to your younger brother, and obviously, I sat as close to all of them as humanly possible while these toasts were happening, like I’m basically sitting on Sarah’s lap. Another obviously: I took a million pictures because it’s rare to see my three brothers together, feeling something. Traveling back to LA last night, I looked at each of these pictures, trying to find the best one(s) so that I might delete some… but really, each one I took is essential. While they all look basically the same, each captures a tiny feeling felt by a brother, warm stabs otherwise covered.

PETE LOOKS AT FLOOR SO AS TO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT:

TIM DRINKS BEER SO AS TO NOT FEEL

DAN LOOKS AT CELING SO AS TO NOT SOB

DAN DOES STAND UP WORTHY OF LATE NIGHT TELEVISION, TIM’S LUNGS LEAK TEARS

DAN’S TOAST GETS PHYSICAL, TIM THINKS ABOUT BEATING HIM UP LATER, PETE FOCUSES ON CHANDELIER SO AS TO NOT HUG TIM

Posted in a lot, boys, brothers, family, i am lucky, life, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

favorite brother game

July 5th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

As a girl with three brothers, I like to play a game with myself in which I pick a favorite brother. It’s riveting, as you never quite know WHO I’m going to pick. It’s usually the brother that I most recently hung out with, as whenever I see one of them I leave feeling, now that. THAT is definitely my favorite brother, thus bumping whatever brother I saw previously out of the coveted spot (LIKE I SAID, RIVETING  WITH VERY VERY HIGH STAKES). This week’s favorite brother award goes to Pete, for his buoyant energy and seasonal patriotism:

But then also we’ve got our runners ups, Dan and Tim, who are definitely, without a doubt, my second and third favorite brothers,

who also have no idea that I play this game, nor, I would imagine, do they care. POINTS FOR CONFIDENCE AND EASE / AW HECK, THEY’RE ALL MY FAVORITE

Posted in brothers, family, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, Uncategorized, YAY | No Comments »

Leah

June 27th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This charm belonged to my great-grandma, Leah Lopin, my middle namesake. I met her a handful of times before she died in the 90’s, and I mostly remember necklaces and laughter and white teeth. This charm lives next to my perfume, and yesterday I stopped and looked it and remembered: she was the first kid to be born in America. Her Jewish parents fled Russia in the early 1900’s to escape religious persecution by the Czar, and by persecution I definitely mean  senseless murder. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, they were welcomed, here. They started a life, here. And so I now have a life, here. Let this never be lost on me, and let it inform and shape my view and activism for those trying to enter from Honduras and El Salvador and Guatemala who only want THE EXACT SAME THING.

Posted in a lot, family, history, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, the whole world, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

Happy (father’s) Day

June 17th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

For Father’s Day, I would like to post this picture that is not really of my Father, but of Myself very dressed up looking adoringly at my Father, because Father’s Day and he’s wonderful and supportive and always there when I need him but LOOK AT MY DRESS WILL I EVER LOOK LIKE THAT AGAIN OR WILL I JUST GET OLDER AND SQUISHIER UNTIL I AM THE AGE OF MY FATHER IN THE PICTURE SORRY DAD I MADE IT ABOUT MYSELF

Posted in family, ha, i am lucky, YAY | No Comments »

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