bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

The Resident Bridal Portrait

December 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Mom: I got a giant picture of you as a Bride framed. Do you….want it?

Me: NO.

Mom: Okay, why not?

Me: Because I don’t want to be a person who has a giant framed picture of myself as a bride in my house, but THANK YOU for asking and for getting it framed.

Mom: Would you like me to…..keep it in MY house instead,  so you don’t have to feel like an outright narcissist, but when you visit, you can  sort of quietly and privately enjoy that there is a giant framed picture of yourself as a bride, hanging somewhere?

Me: YES, WORKS FOR ME

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., YAY | No Comments »

why to let your Dad shop for your Husband

December 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

THIS HAPPENS.

Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact,  it was in fact one of the first things I liked about him,’ and both just sit there, thinking about your husband’s butt, and other time-tested, family holiday traditions.

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, holidays, i am lucky, MAWWAGE., silly, YAY | No Comments »

allow me to CATch you up

December 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Hi, were you wondering were my Cat likes to hang out? OF COURSE YOU WERE. MY therapist recently advised me to pet Cracker whenever I felt anxious or overwhelmed, as nothing is more grounding or satisfying. And it’s as if the dude read my mind. It only took a year,  but Cracker is now super into our couch. For months he cuddled himself into corners and shoes and piles of tents in the garage, and then finally he was like, oh, COUCHES ARE MAYBE SOFT, AND FOR SITTING / LYING DOWN. And now he just chills there all day, namely when I’m watching TV,  and honestly it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ve  had snickerdoodle ice cream AND been to Thailand.

I HAVE SEVEN THOUSAND MORE / PLEASE INQUIRE WITHIN /  PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR OWN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE

Posted in a lot, animals, i am lucky, life, love, YAY | No Comments »

BREAKING THROUGH BARRIERS

November 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Elizabeth recently turned me on to the Nike Running Club App’s collaboration with Headspace, a meditation app which has helped millions of people NOT cry on their lunch breaks.  Andy Puddicome — the British meditation guide whose voice feels like sticking your hands in pudding in a good way — calmly speaks to you, reminds you to take in your surroundings, focus on the positive. Yesterday, I ran to ‘Breaking through Barriers,’ a meditation in YOU GET IT. But hilariously, I chose to jog at the very moment when about seventeen million kids were being walked to school by their parents. And so as Andy puddinged me to not focus on the things standing in my way, but instead stay present —  I LITERALLY BROKE THROUGH BARRIERS OF TINY CHILDREN, which aren’t my barrier, per se, but moreso my goal? But my inability to be positive about it all is, in fact, a barrier. AND SO I BROKE THROUGH IT / DIDN’T EVEN KNOCK ANY OF THEM OVER / ONLY RAN FROM THEM SCREAMING AT MY UTERUS FROM BEHIND MY EYES / SUCCESS!

Posted in a lot, ha, hmmmmm, i am lucky, whining, women, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Fantasy or Fever Dream?

November 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This Thanksgiving will forever go down in history as That Time I Spent an Entire Year looking forward to hosting my own Thanksgiving in my own house for my Husband’s family, nearly a lifelong goal of mine, only to contract a cold from hell a few days before game time, but flat out refused to let it affect my fantasy plans or anyone’s holiday, and so I pushed through like a mad woman assisted by Sister in Laws and Sudafed, to the point of Fever, and SOMEHOW IT ALL HAPPENED, in fact I miraculously started to feel better an hour before dinner was served, and it still managed to be the most marvelous Thanksgiving ever, with two kinds of stuffing and family everywhere, or MAYBE I SWEAT DREAMT IT? A few of my favorite images from my Fever dream:

Morrison somehow arranged our dining room so it fit 14 people / WE GOT TO USE ALL OF OUR PLACEMATS / WHY IS THIS SO EXCITING TO ME / DO I NEED HELP:

 .  

With much advice and assistant from sister in Law Jacy and also the internet, I roasted my first turkey and no one (yet) died:

Tiny people literally everywhere:

SIL Anne with that portrait mode:

Featured dishes: my sausage, apple and fennel cornbread stuffing, and MIL Cam’s Chile Relleno casserole (cheese / eggs / sour cream / chile rellenos / ABSURDLY GOOD)

A large percentage of my favorite people, all in one place:

 

Posted in a lot, awesome, family, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

It is not lost on me

November 10th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

That every element of this quiet morning is flammable.

(EXCEPT FOR MORRISON AND CRACKER. FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT MORRISON WEARS A FLAME RETARDANT SUPERHERO SUIT BENEATH HIS SKIN AND THAT HE COULD AND WOULD SAVE THIS CAT FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING. AND POSSIBLY ALSO ME. BUT PROBABLY CRACKER, FIRST.)

Posted in i am lucky, i am scared, the whole world, things, things that I Have, tout | No Comments »

pro marriage trick

November 1st, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me: I feel like I look like I’ve gained weight, but I haven’t.

Morrison:…what?

Me: I mean, I haven’t recently. But I LOOK like I have.

Morrison: You’re right.

Me: What?

Morrison: I’ve been looking at you and thinking, she hasn’t gained weight, but she’s got the definite LOOK of having gained weight, even though she has gained no weight.

Me: That sounds insane.

Morrison: EXACTLY

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE., narcissism, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

why to never drink water at a wedding

October 28th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry and hilarity of this life phase off of my blog. I’ve tried to keep it off of here, in fear of being over-dramatic or worse, pessimistic, and also just out of respect for the women who have truly been in the thick of this for nine times the amount of days that I have, with greater heartbreak, BUT I MEAN WHY EVEN ELSE HAVE A BLOG / THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT BLOGS ARE FOR / NOW YOU GET TO WORRY ABOUT MY FERTILITY TOO / YOU’RE WELCOME! 

At a friend’s wedding, I decide to switch to water, like just for a minute, because Hydration and Headache. Very nice well-intentioned other friend spots me with said glass of water, and I don’t know, maybe a poorly positioned wrap dress? Perhaps a face swollen from baking my feelings and eating them?  I don’t know. Her eyes light up like Christmas but with a secret, and she rushes to my side.

Friend (furtively:) Are you pregnant?

Me: What? NO. No no no no no no no no (then, approximately 100 more No’s) 

Friend: Oh — God, sorry — I’m so sorry, I just thought —

Me: It’s fine. It’s totally fine. Are you pregnant?

Friend: Um — I don’t think so?

Me: I only ask because recently, it has come to attention that I am the only female person in the entire world and on the entire internet that is not pregnant.  Everyone I went to high school and college with, and their bosses and neighbors and friends, and the people who sell them their groceries and their cars, everyone I’ve ever emailed or envied is pregnant.  Even the moments I’m not pregnant are pregnant with all of the pregnancies I’m not pregnant with.

(A moment.)

Friend: Oh my God. You’re right. I think I’m pregnant. That’s so weird, I wasn’t even trying!

Me: SEE? YOU SEE?!

Friend: Oh God, can I get you some wine?

Me: YES PLZ TEN BUCKETS, AND WITH GREAT HASTE

 

Posted in a lot, babies, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, i am scared, life, love, MAWWAGE., oh nooo, the future, tout, trying too hard, whining, women, words, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

cookie as feeling

October 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

I just walked through a wave of butterscotch and was immediately yanked back to winter at our Will Scarlet Road house where my Mom sliced seven layer cookie bars into Christmas tins for freezing, warm butter clumped with coconut, warm house, warm walls, where late at night I snuck frozen pieces out of the tins tucked into the freezer part of the fridge in the garage, snuck back into warm house, warmer walls, and now I have a violent need go home and make them, by which I mean Practice my Religion of Choice.

Posted in a lot, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

Always Real

October 22nd, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Two years of marriage today. One of the things that first jarred me about my dear husband when I first met him has more and more become my absolute favorite thing about him: he will not force anything. Like, ever at all. And so, every single moment you get with and from him is 100% authentic, truly felt. It’s not always perfectly timed, which is a thing I like to force — but it’s Always Real. Take last night, when we were having a drink before our final performance of the Cake:

Him (after a long silence:) I had a thought earlier about working together, on this play. Like a profound thought.

Me: Oh yeah?

Him: Yeah, but I can’t remember it.

Me: That’s okay —

Him:….(most beautiful, kind thing about working together on the play)

Me: (stunned silence)

Him:……just pretend I said that tomorrow, on our anniversary.

Me: OKAY FINE. LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Him: Man. These are great fish tacos.

Me: OH, WE’RE MOVING ON? OKAY

 

Posted in a lot, boys, how interesting, i am lucky, love, MAWWAGE. | No Comments »

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