If you had told child-me who spent each Sunday in these pews, stuffed into a dress, trying to pay attention, that one day my church would have Facebook and instagram accounts and also free WI-FI, I woulda said WHAT IS WIFI AND WHAT IS INSTAGRAM AND WHAT IS FACEBOOK AND I DO NOT KNOW YOU WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY SEASONAL LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKES ON YOU? NO? OKAY MOVE ALONG THEN.
I now know why I have such an affinity for young Kate on This is Us, for her obsession with food and her insecurities. In The Pool episode when she gets a note from a mean group of girls declaring they don’t want to hang with her anymore, that was based on something that happened to me, but fifth grade, and cafeteria, and maybe I still have the note and remember exactly who wrote it but I’M NOT HERE TO NAME NAMES REBECCA SINK WAS HER NAME. As it turns out, I am in fact just a grown up version of lil’ Kate:
WE ARE ONE.
In what Blaine aptly described as the ‘ultimate act of protest,’ she gave birth yesterday this fierce little lady, Ruby Rose Lee:
or as I like to call her, MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I cannot wait to see all that she becomes. Congrats to Blaine and Jason on their person-making. Stellar work, y’all.
A few months ago, I happened upon these childrens’ overalls in a vintage store, and obviously I bought them because HOW COULD YOU NOT.
My idea: to send them to darling nephew Luke, in the hopes that when he grew out them, they would be passed to another cousin to wear, and then to another, and then to another, until all of the grown adult cousins sit around a bonfire someday, making fun of their lame parents, remembering how they once all were made to wear the same pair of overalls. I’M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE: IT BEGINS.
I dreamt of a baby with a full beard. Which of course sent me straight to google image search, and the results are just. Equal parts horror and intrigue.
I just can’t.
But then of course, I did.
Sister Blaine raised funds for her students to get wobbly stools which are better for bodies and brains than typical classroom chairs. I kicked them some dough, and a few months later, I GET AMAZING HANDWRITTEN PERSONALIZED THANK YOU LETTERS FROM HER CLASS WITH DRAWINGS AND WONDERFUL SENTENCES LIKE ‘It is good to sit.’ Yes, Daniel from sister Blaine’s class, Yes it Is.
I would also just like to go on record and note that I cannot go a week on earth without putting my water bottle in my bag with the lid loose and spilling water all over important documents, but I would also like to note that sometimes I donate to good causes which totally makes up for it and I am a grown up and my life is fine.
I just wanna take a minute and be braggy on my manfriend, who volunteers with Art of Elysium, this truly wonderful nonprofit that sends actors, writers, visual artists, etc into hospitals to lift the spirits of kids. It’s basically exactly like this time that Johnny Depp randomly dropped in on some teen cancer patients dressed in full Jack Sparrow:
But over and over. Morrison gets to use his top notch improv and acting skills to make some bored and frustrated and ailing kids smile. Yesterday, they played an improv game in which the actor went out of the room, while the kids decided what crime he was guilty of. The actor then came back into the room, and through questions and answers, he had to guess his crime. My favorite: ‘guilty of stealing Taylor Swift’s pillowcase and placing it over the president’s TV.’ Once the crime has been guessed, the guilty party must then receive his funishment.
Which consists of singing / dancing / rapping / rapping while singing and dancing.
IS THAT NOT. THE BEST THING. THAT YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Finally got to see Inside Out last night — the new Pixar movie in which the emotions that live in our head come to life — and it was of course clever and adorable and touching and all of those things. The viewing of course lead to discussion of what emotion characters inhabit our own heads, who’s running the control board. After careful consideration, I’m pretty sure that at my motherboard is a very worried toddler who has great concern for all things ranging from whether or not there’s going to be a large earthquake to whether or not she’s wearing the the right dress or she should really cut back on Goldfish or at least switch to whole grain to what does God think of me?
It’s definitely either her or this little girl who just wants the Ham.
I don’t know to what or whom I owe the honor of this, but a ten year old who describes himself as ‘single’ started following me on Instagram. SUP RECO!
My beautiful cousin Ella, who in fact just popped out another kid — welcome to the world, Carson! It’s gonna be great! — posted this picture of her daughter, Layla, hiding her head in shame after drawing on the wall, and it is just the greatest thing. Grown ups: let’s bring back burrowing our heads in corners after we do bad things, yes?