Greetings, my own mother, my husband’s mother, and various mothers of high school students who are trying to obtain rights to perform monologues from my short plays! Maybe before you were watching Switched at Birth because I was writing for it for 3 seasons — but hear this: YOU STILL NEED TO WATCH IT. NOW. It’s fifth and final season is airing now on Freeform, and it’s blowing me away. Lizzy Weiss (show runner) never stops pushing herself, her writing staff, and then subsequently the network itself, to tell challenging stories that aren’t ever safe. On a network that’s designed to appeal to both teenagers and their parents, it’s hard to delve into difficult social issues, like say, race, and it’s even harder to put your dearly loved main character (Daphne) in the thick of a really difficult moral and ethical conundrum. But Lizzy does it, in a way that’s both nuanced and surprising. As someone randomly wrote on my Facebook page today,’ Switched at Birth should be mandatory for high schoolers.’ TRUTH. But also, you should watch it too.
I have made similarly grand statements about babies before, but this time I REALLY ACTUALLY MEAN IT. My niece Livy is REALLY ACTUALLY the cutest, most beautiful baby in all of the world.
She will hold the seat for all of time, or perhaps until I have a kid of my own, at which point she will be denoted to second place, unless of course, Livy remains cuter than my actual kid, which, given the picture above, IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE.
If you had told child-me who spent each Sunday in these pews, stuffed into a dress, trying to pay attention, that one day my church would have Facebook and instagram accounts and also free WI-FI, I woulda said WHAT IS WIFI AND WHAT IS INSTAGRAM AND WHAT IS FACEBOOK AND I DO NOT KNOW YOU WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY SEASONAL LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKES ON YOU? NO? OKAY MOVE ALONG THEN.
I now know why I have such an affinity for young Kate on This is Us, for her obsession with food and her insecurities. In The Pool episode when she gets a note from a mean group of girls declaring they don’t want to hang with her anymore, that was based on something that happened to me, but fifth grade, and cafeteria, and maybe I still have the note and remember exactly who wrote it but I’M NOT HERE TO NAME NAMES REBECCA SINK WAS HER NAME. As it turns out, I am in fact just a grown up version of lil’ Kate:
WE ARE ONE.
In what Blaine aptly described as the ‘ultimate act of protest,’ she gave birth yesterday this fierce little lady, Ruby Rose Lee:
or as I like to call her, MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I cannot wait to see all that she becomes. Congrats to Blaine and Jason on their person-making. Stellar work, y’all.
A few months ago, I happened upon these childrens’ overalls in a vintage store, and obviously I bought them because HOW COULD YOU NOT.
My idea: to send them to darling nephew Luke, in the hopes that when he grew out them, they would be passed to another cousin to wear, and then to another, and then to another, until all of the grown adult cousins sit around a bonfire someday, making fun of their lame parents, remembering how they once all were made to wear the same pair of overalls. I’M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE: IT BEGINS.
I dreamt of a baby with a full beard. Which of course sent me straight to google image search, and the results are just. Equal parts horror and intrigue.
I just can’t.
But then of course, I did.
Sister Blaine raised funds for her students to get wobbly stools which are better for bodies and brains than typical classroom chairs. I kicked them some dough, and a few months later, I GET AMAZING HANDWRITTEN PERSONALIZED THANK YOU LETTERS FROM HER CLASS WITH DRAWINGS AND WONDERFUL SENTENCES LIKE ‘It is good to sit.’ Yes, Daniel from sister Blaine’s class, Yes it Is.
I would also just like to go on record and note that I cannot go a week on earth without putting my water bottle in my bag with the lid loose and spilling water all over important documents, but I would also like to note that sometimes I donate to good causes which totally makes up for it and I am a grown up and my life is fine.
I just wanna take a minute and be braggy on my manfriend, who volunteers with Art of Elysium, this truly wonderful nonprofit that sends actors, writers, visual artists, etc into hospitals to lift the spirits of kids. It’s basically exactly like this time that Johnny Depp randomly dropped in on some teen cancer patients dressed in full Jack Sparrow:
But over and over. Morrison gets to use his top notch improv and acting skills to make some bored and frustrated and ailing kids smile. Yesterday, they played an improv game in which the actor went out of the room, while the kids decided what crime he was guilty of. The actor then came back into the room, and through questions and answers, he had to guess his crime. My favorite: ‘guilty of stealing Taylor Swift’s pillowcase and placing it over the president’s TV.’ Once the crime has been guessed, the guilty party must then receive his funishment.
Which consists of singing / dancing / rapping / rapping while singing and dancing.
IS THAT NOT. THE BEST THING. THAT YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Finally got to see Inside Out last night — the new Pixar movie in which the emotions that live in our head come to life — and it was of course clever and adorable and touching and all of those things. The viewing of course lead to discussion of what emotion characters inhabit our own heads, who’s running the control board. After careful consideration, I’m pretty sure that at my motherboard is a very worried toddler who has great concern for all things ranging from whether or not there’s going to be a large earthquake to whether or not she’s wearing the the right dress or she should really cut back on Goldfish or at least switch to whole grain to what does God think of me?
It’s definitely either her or this little girl who just wants the Ham.