bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

YES, IT HOLDS UP

January 13th, 2020 by Bekah Brunstetter

I confess that at least once a month, if not weekly, I think about the 90’s movie, Junior, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger CARRIES A BABY TO TERM. When I think about it, I’m usually wondering, HOW DID THEY MAKE THE MAN PREGNANT? I’m shacked up with SIL Jacy for the weekend, and we decided to do a deep dive into the ‘movies in which pregnancy is very easy and just happens because you think about it and three minutes later you’re in your second trimester’ section of Blockbuster. Last night, we revisited Junior, and first and foremost, Arnold becomes pregnant after they place an embryo in his perineal cavity, or in layman’s terms, HIS ACTUAL BUTT. Arnold then spends the movie with the raging hormones of a pregnant woman. He feels insecure about his looks, shoves pigs in a blanket into his mouth, cries at commercials, and it one critical scene, shouts MY BODY MY CHOICE at the villain while wearing floppy, soft 90’s Eileen Fisher. And it’s somehow also a supremely satisfying love story, in with he realizes his egg donor is actually Emma Thompson, the nerdy doctor he’s already in love with. Fortunately, that sex scene is NOT a part of the movie, which feels….backwards. Every moment is horrible, regrettable, flawless, heartwarming and nauseating. I highly recommend to any woman on a fertility journey, or any man wondering if he might ever be able to carry a baby to term, in his butt.

Posted in ....ew, a lot, babies, ha, le film, the making of babies | No Comments »

Private Life

December 4th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ve been avoiding this movie on Netflix for MONTHS. It’s about a couple struggling to have a baby by really any means necessary: IUI, IVF, egg donation, adoption, baby theft. It gets deep into the weeds of the obsession and frustration and heartbreak and madness and mania of infertility. People keep telling me to watch it, but I’ve avoided it, as I didn’t want to have my own feelings shouted back at me. But I finally succumbed and I’m so very happy I did, because if you’re going to go through something trying, there is really nothing better than Kathryn Hahn and Paul Giamatti reflecting your own experiences back to you, and making it all funnier and more profound than it could ever be in your own life. If you’re out there, and for some reason you’re like I haven’t experienced infertility, but Gosh I’d sure like to know what it’s like in Bekah’s head right now and / or what it’s like to get shots in your ass every day and crunch fistfuls of multi-vitamins in hopes they’ll make it down to my eggs THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. (It’s for everyone else, too. It’s just very, very good.)

Posted in le film, the making of babies | No Comments »

I WROTE THIS (?)

November 6th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I truly don’t understand how I’ve made it through any previous Christmases without this Hallmark movie. I discovered it last night, because November. It’s Romeo and Juliet, but the feuding families are NEIGHBORING CHRISTMAS TREE FARMS, aptly named, the Spruces, and the Pines. They had me at this alone, but then it faithfully continued to check every single one of my boxes:

  • A love interest girl with a perfect blowout and the most amazing collection of snow boots, who is studying horticulture in college
  • A love interest guy who wears nothing but cowboy boots and reminds his love interest and the audience in every scene that he’s from Texas
  • A character named Bear who’s a big guy who cuts down the trees and is constantly shamed for eating Pastries
  • A scene in which the love interests drink tea that’s made from pine needles steeped in water (?)
  • a random scene in which an Soldier, fresh off the plane home from Iraq, gets given a tiny Christmas tree, just because
  • Letters from a dead Mom
  • Letters from a dead mom discovered in a secret box of Christmas tree ornaments
  • Fake coldness
  • Dads wearing winter work Coats
  • thirsty background people tucked into scarves and hats
  • A single random Christmas tree in the middle of a baseball field
  • A flash forward at the end to a Christmas Day wedding
  • the traditional 900 clearly empty coffee cups and rolling suitcases
  • THE GENERAL AND OVERWHELMING FEELING THAT CHRISTMAS IS WHEN LOVE AND FAMILY AND FORGIVENESS HAPPEN
  • THE GENERAL AND OVERWHELMING FEELING THAT I WROTE THIS MOVIE (DID I WRITE IT?)

Posted in holidays, le film, YAY | No Comments »

HOW TO MAKE ME SOB

August 30th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’m still sorting out why — and surely it has something to do with vulnerability — but NOTHING MAKES ME SADDER / SQUISHIER THAN A SAD OLD MAN. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING. If he’s sad in a way he will never be able to fully articulate — EVEN SADDER. So me on an airplane watching 89 Year Old Clint Eastwood in what his maybe his last big movie (maybe), The Mule, watching him grow flowers and Not Connect but then Connect with his estranged family — I AM PUDDLE ON THE GROUND OF PLANE, SEEPING SLOWLY BACK TOWARDS THE BATHROOMS.

Posted in boys, famous people stuff, le film, Uncategorized | No Comments »

GIVE ME MOVIES WITH MUSIC

July 12th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

OR I GUESS GIVE ME OTHER MOVIES BUT I WON’T LIKE THEM NEARLY AS MUCH

Call me basic but I love any movie, literally any movie, that uses songs as set pieces. Just give me two people singing to each other, falling in love.

 

Posted in a lot, le film, music, YAY | No Comments »

COCO!

February 20th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Say,  do you like it when your heart is as warm and soft as a snickerdoodle just out of the oven? ME TOO. This beautiful and charming Pixar/Disney movie about the  Day of the Dead is now out on iTunes,  and last night we watched it like children and said things like WHOAAAAA! and then cried like adults with expanding souls. It’s just stunning. WATCH IT TONIGHT I AM A COMMERCIAL.

Posted in le film, life, love | No Comments »

WHERE TO GIVE YOUR MONEY (TO)

February 6th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Today, on what to do with that pesky extra ten bucks lurking around your life (if it exists): There are a gazillion different campaigns right now — on Venmo, Gofund me, the Cash App — all raising money to send  kids to see THIS MASTERPIECE:

Black Panther is the first Marvel / superhero movie featuring a cast of strong, complex black characters, and its trailer alone made this whitest girl that ever lived say outloud to herself OH, SNAP between triscuits. It owns African roots, it challenges stereotypes, it’s got beautiful black women tossing evil white men across rooms, and it MUST BE SEEN by every black kid in America (AND ALSO BY MYSELF.) Ten bucks for a movie ticket isn’t a reality for everyone, so these campaigns are raising money to send underprivileged kids to the movie, for FREE. If you got a nice combo of a minute and ten extra bucks, GIVE HERE or just search #BlackPantherChallenge or give on Venmo to @Dreamerfund. THEN ALSO BUY YOURSELF A TICKET.

Posted in generally, le film, life | No Comments »

WE ARE ALL ERIN

January 25th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Yesterday, barely able to move from the couch, I found myself with no choice but to watch Erin Brockovich in its entirety for the first time ever, and today, because of it, I am fully convinced THAT THERE ARE NO EXCUSES, AND I AM 100% CAPABLE OF ANYTHING, LIKE MAYBE I COULD EVEN PUT ON REAL PANTS.

Posted in famous people stuff, generally, le film | No Comments »

how DARE they

December 15th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

WHY WOULD YOU SULLY A PERFECT MOVIE BY REBOOTING IT UNNECESSARILY

ALSO WHERE AND WHEN CAN I SEE IT

Posted in a lot, hmmmmm, I am furious, le film, YAY | No Comments »

BLESSINGS ON BLESSINGS ON BLESSINGS

August 19th, 2017 by Bekah Brunstetter

As if it wasn’t enough to get hired to write a movie with my gal Mamrie,  and then if it weren’t also enough that she happens to have just bought a house in Palm Springs and so we get to write said movie there, PRODUCTION COMPANY FUNDING SAID FILM SENT US A GIFT BASKET FILLED WITH WINE AND CARBS TO FUEL OUR WORK.

Being that were are Women who Live in LA and Make things, obviously we are both currently trying to NOT drink wine / eat carbs, and so we will be staring at the basket with gratitude and affection. In fact, I  just might cuddle the tiny log of beef with affection, gratitude.

Posted in a lot, i am lucky, LA angst, le film, whining, women, YAY | No Comments »

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