bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

Beverly, Forever

February 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

As I relish / writhe in this life phase I’ll call ‘pre-kid aware,’ in which I don’t have kids yet but want them, and so think of all life things in terms of having or not having kids — one of the thing that’s struck me is that once I create a kid, I create a Person separate from myself, who then grows and forgets me, for at least a little while. That’s one of the great big sad and strange things about being a human — you have your own brain and your own will that sometimes carries you away from the people that made you. But somehow, on my Mom’s side of the family, our matriarch Beverly has stayed a focal point if not GODDESS for all of her granddaughters, no matter where we are at in our lives. And so, when we were asked if we could make it to Maryland to surprise our Grandma for her 90th birthday, naturally we all said yes, and the result was THIS FACE, WHICH WAS WORTH A THOUSAND PLANE TICKETS, WHICH WAS THANKFULLY NOT ACCOMPANIED BY A HEART ATTACK:

Literally every granddaughter, daughter, and daughter in law made her way to Beverly’s surprise tea, except for two who are out of the country. She cried, we cried, we heard stories from church friends about how she could talk to a lamppost, how she opened her house to everyone and anyone, then we all went to said house, gathered around her like she was a Queen and listened to her regale her tales from a life as a young Flight Attendant, when we were all just dust.

I marveled at the individual attention she always gave and continues to give to each of us.  I think that’s her greatest trick, her greatest gift. I know I’ve made hundreds of grandchildren, Bekah, but right now, it’s just you and me. 

Beverly, Forever.

 

 

Posted in a lot, family, generally, i am lucky, the future, the whole world | No Comments »

WISDOM; CONTROL

February 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Find someone who loves you as much as this Pigeon and I love Goldfish Crackers

LIKE SO MUCH THAT WE CAN ONLY TAKE THEM IN DOSES / WE KNOW IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE FOR US SO WE DO OUR BEST TO BE MINDFUL AND GRATEFUL WHEN AROUND THEM AND RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY AND SPACE

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm | No Comments »

give none trucks

February 7th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

The scene: an olderish, corporate-y guy and I stand pissy in the LA rain outside an Enterprise rent-a-car. We both need rentals because our Cars are in the shop, mine because my Car is having trouble being Phone, and what good to me is Car if it is not also Phone?!

Kind Enterprise Guy who is very much just trying to get through his Day, with a brightness covering a deep shame: Okay, so! Unfortunately, all we have right now is Minivans.

Corporate guy and I exchange a quick, telepathic look, communicating one thing: DISPROPORTIONATE HORROR AND DISGUST.

Me: Are you sure you don’t have anything else?

Enterprise Guy: I’m sorry, no —

Me: I mean, anything, do you have like a truck?

Enterprise Guy: No —

Me: A bike? Some rollerbades? A large banana?

Enterprise Guy: No. I’m sorry.

Me: Because I would rather drive a large banana than that Van.

Enterprise Guy: we really, um. Don’t have anything else.

The Corporate Guy and I both release sighs so big, the Enterprise Guy has to take two small steps back. 

Me: Okay, then. Thank you, but I’ll just walk to Santa Monica. And when my feet get tired, I’ll just walk on my hands until my hands become feet. I WILL LITERALLY DO ANYTHING TO NOT DRIVE THAT MINIVAN.

Corporate Guy: WHAT SHE SAID.

Corporate Guy and I set off on foot. 

Corporate Guy: Are we ridic-

Me: YES, BUT WITH PRIDE. CARE TO WALK WITH ME THIRTY MILES TO THE OCEAN?

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, LA angst | No Comments »

THE LIFE CHANGING MAGIC OF KIDNAPPING

January 19th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Marie Kondo: okay, Bekah. I want you to take all of your clothes out of your closets and drawers, pile them onto your bed. Next, take each piece one by one. If it sparks joy for you, keep it. If it does not, thank it for being in your life, then put it in a pile to donate.

Me: Okay!

Marie Kondo:…Why do you have my children?

Me: HMM? OH. They spark joy for me.

Marie Kondo: My children are not your clothes.

Me: BUT THEIR CHEEKS AND TINY DRESSES

Marie Kondo: Please give me my children back?

Me: (as I run away carrying them)  SORRY, NOTHING ELSE SPARKS THIS MUCH JOY, I HAVE TO GO TUCK THEM NEATLY INTO A DRAWER, BYYEEEEEE

 

 

 

Posted in a lot, famous people stuff, generally, ha, hmmmmm, Uncategorized | No Comments »

HOW TO SLEEP

January 13th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Start worrying about 4 PM about how you didn’t sleep enough last night and so tonight you really must sleep
  • Focus on how tired you are and convince yourself that surely, this means that tonight, YOU WILL SLEEP
  • Have a few glasses of wine to definitely ensure definite amounts of (not real but the appearances of real) sleep
  • Have a cup of Herbal Detox tea right before bed to trick your body into thinking you DIDN’T just drink wine to make yourself sleep
  • Go to Bed
  • LIE AWAKE IN BED FOR HOURS, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN LESS TIRED OR MORE AWAKE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
  • Sleep for five minutes
  • Spiral all the next day, contemplate your sleep problems while sleep-working
  • casually Look at tea
  • REALIZE THAT TEA HAS CAFFEINE, YOU IDIOT
  • MAYBE A TEENY TINY AMOUNT BUT STILL
  • RESOLVE TO NOT DRINK CAFFEINE RIGHT BEFORE BED
  • SLEEP

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining | No Comments »

MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED

December 30th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

To whoever thought to invent number shaped cookie cutters: CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME INTO MY WILL, IF NOT MY LIFE’S WORK, IF NOT MY LEGACY. You were probably a 19th century Grandma who one morning bent metal into a 2, and you are probably long gone, but still, I would just really like to shake your hand, if not high five you, if that was a thing Then.

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky, procrastibaking, YAY | No Comments »

field research

December 12th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

EXCITING DRAMATURGICAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I’ve always wanted to write a Christmas Play, so that in the year 2320 when I’m long gone, I’ll be remembered solely by my Christmas play which every robot high school in the midwest performs every single year. And so: my next play, a commission for South Coast Rep in Costa Mesa, CA is about a disgruntled group of Mall Santas. Why, here’s my niece Olivia, helping her auntie with a little field research:

Other words for  ‘field research’ include ‘confronting fears’ and ‘sitting on the warm lap of the devil’ and ‘confusing exercise in terror’ and ‘WHY MOMMY WHY.’ THE FUTURE ROBOT THESPIANS THANK YOU, LIV. NOW GET BACK OUT THERE / TAKE NOTES.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, holidays, the writing of drama plays, YAY | No Comments »

Self Esteam

December 8th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

Me, to Morrison: There’s some weird steam happening on the side of our house right now. Here’s a video.

Morrison: ….That’s steam. Steam happens when water evaporates. Like when it rains. The sun heats up the water, after….

Me: I mean, I KNOW, but it just seems like a lot of steam.

Morrison: I mean yeah, it is, but it rained a lot, and now it’s very sunny, so —

Me: SCIENCE

Morrison: Yep. Just basically that.

Me: I’M VERY SMART

Morrison: Yes, yes you are.

Me: AND VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL

Morrison: yes, sure —

Me: THE EARTH IS FLAT

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, LA angst, MAWWAGE., silly, where i want to live, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

Fantasy or Fever Dream?

November 24th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

This Thanksgiving will forever go down in history as That Time I Spent an Entire Year looking forward to hosting my own Thanksgiving in my own house for my Husband’s family, nearly a lifelong goal of mine, only to contract a cold from hell a few days before game time, but flat out refused to let it affect my fantasy plans or anyone’s holiday, and so I pushed through like a mad woman assisted by Sister in Laws and Sudafed, to the point of Fever, and SOMEHOW IT ALL HAPPENED, in fact I miraculously started to feel better an hour before dinner was served, and it still managed to be the most marvelous Thanksgiving ever, with two kinds of stuffing and family everywhere, or MAYBE I SWEAT DREAMT IT? A few of my favorite images from my Fever dream:

Morrison somehow arranged our dining room so it fit 14 people / WE GOT TO USE ALL OF OUR PLACEMATS / WHY IS THIS SO EXCITING TO ME / DO I NEED HELP:

 .  

With much advice and assistant from sister in Law Jacy and also the internet, I roasted my first turkey and no one (yet) died:

Tiny people literally everywhere:

SIL Anne with that portrait mode:

Featured dishes: my sausage, apple and fennel cornbread stuffing, and MIL Cam’s Chile Relleno casserole (cheese / eggs / sour cream / chile rellenos / ABSURDLY GOOD)

A large percentage of my favorite people, all in one place:

 

Posted in a lot, awesome, family, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, horn tooting, how interesting, i am a grown up, i am lucky | No Comments »

Contradictions

November 13th, 2018 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Bakes cookies for feminist theater group meeting
  • Spends entire feminist theater group meeting wondering why no one’s eating her cookies
  • When asked for her feminist thoughts about theater, just shouts I BAKED COOKIES
  • Disappears under couch cushion
  • makes mental note to ask for recipe for Mother’s Macaroni and Cheese

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, whining, women | No Comments »

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