bekah brunstetter
Bekah Brunstetter I care deeply. About a lot of things. Like really, really deep. Ow
playwright in brooklyn, NY

TWO HEARTS / TWO DREAMS

April 27th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night, Morrison had an epic home invasion dream in which he accosted a creepy, dangerous trespasser who was trying to force entry into our house, and by accost, I mean he reached for his hatchet and hacked the man in the neck with a clean, concise movement, because Morrison, both awake and asleep, is always protecting us. I, OTHER THE HAND, DREAMT I WAS EATING A GIANT WAFFLE WRAPPED AROUND A GIANT PIECE OF FRIED CHICKEN, BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS FOOD.

Morrison

Posted in a dream is a wish your heart makes, a lot, boys, food, generally, ha, love | No Comments »

GROWN UP EGG HUNT

April 17th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Morrison and I are in prep mode for the giant Easter potluck / egg hunt we’re hosting Sunday, in which we’re going to revel in all of our friend’s children for four hours THEN POLITELY ASK THEM TO LEAVE SO WE CAN WATCH GAME OF THRONES ALONE. In the invite, I called it an ‘all ages egg hunt’ which I’m realizing is a terrible idea, as obviously, the grown ups will find the eggs before the children. But as a thought experiment, I’m making a mental list of the things that would go inside of Grown-up eggs:

  • Tiny succulents
  • Midol
  • Tylenol PM
  • Weed Gummies
  • Passwords to private links to indie short films
  • Squirts of hand sanitizer
  • Claritin
  • Boullion cubes
  • Xanax
  • AND OTHER REASONS WHY THERE SHOULD NEVER BE A GROWN UP EGG HUNT

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, holidays, how interesting, i am a grown up | No Comments »

WHY TO BE CRAZY

April 15th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I’ll admit that maybe I spend TOO much time in my head playing out worst case scenarios, versions of the world in which things go badly because you did not meticulously plan.  Planning is, or least sometimes can be,  the opposite of Disaster. And so when I heard that we were having our last Charleston meal at Hominy Grill — a fixture known for its fried green tomatoes and sausage gravy — on the SECOND TO LAST WEEKEND BEFORE IT CLOSES FOREVER — naturally, I panicked, assumed that we would never get a table and would have to stand outside of the restaurant in the heat with no water and or bathroom and our life-long friendships would be ruined and we would starve to death and never see our husbands or children ever again. AND SO, I insisted that we get there at LEAST 30 minutes before it opened, at which point I did a drop and roll out of the moving car to the hostess’s stand. The courtyard was already crowded with other like minded people who approach eating at Restaurants like tactical warfare. I shouted my name triumphantly at her, panicked when Blaine and Carrie took over two minutes to return from  parking the car, then hovered by the hostess with a racing heart, assuming she would call my name and I would not hear it.

THE RESULT?

Fried Green Tomatoes with House Ranch

Pork belly black eyed Pea cakes with tomato cumin sauce and poached eggs

HOMEMADE OATMEAL CREME PIES

WHO’S CRAZY NOW?!

(ME /  IT’S STILL ME /  IT WAS ME THE WHOLE TIME)

Posted in food, generally, ha, whining, worrying, YAY | No Comments »

OPINIONS

April 9th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

ASK ME HOW I FEEL ABOUT SPRING

AND I WILL SHOUT THESE AT YOU

 

Posted in a lot, fancy, food, generally, ha, JE BAKE, YAY | No Comments »

Have you been taking your Prenatal Vitamins

March 28th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Kind, well, intentioned doctor: So, have you been taking your Prenatal Vitamins?

Me: Are you serious?

Doctor:….Yes?

(A TRAGIC, TRIUMPHANT SONG OF LES MISERABLES PROPORTIONS BEGINS. I stand on the table, wearing nothing but paper. I start to sing.)

Me:

YES

I HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM FOR YEARS

MADAM, I AM A PRENATAL VITAMIN

I BLEED FISH OIL AND FOLIC ACID!

MADAM, I TAKE THEM DAILY, BLINDLY, MERCILESSLY, 

SOMETIMES I JUST EAT THEM AS SNACKSSSSSSSS!!!!

(Calmly, I sit back down on the table.)

Doctor: Okay, well. Keep on taking them.

Me: WILL DO.

 

Posted in a lot, food, generally, ha, hmmmmm, the making of babies, whining, women | No Comments »

(MISSPELLED) CAKE POSTERS FOREVER

March 18th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

NO BUT REALLY DID YOU THINK I WAS DONE TALKING ABOUT CAKE? *NEVER NOT DONE / DRIVES TO DMV / CHANGES NAME TO CAKE*

The Cake is currently backpacking around America like a dang college drop out.  It’s currently in rehearsal in Fayetteville, NC,  Sarasota, Florida and Lake Dillon, Colorado.  I would like to please draw attention to Colorado’s phenomenal poster:

THE CAKE WAS DESTROYED / THE BRIDES WERE PLACED BACK ON TOP / WILL I EVER TIRE OF LOOKING AT POSTERS OF THIS PLAY / IS THIS A TIME LOOP / AM I ACTUALLY ALIVE / WHO IS BEKAH BRUNSETTER (?)

 

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, how interesting, i am lucky, the writing of drama plays, theater | No Comments »

I am Guilty Of

March 14th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

There’s a thing I do, as a contemporary robot person with robot computer phone brain and human heart, that I would like to stop doing. And so, like most things that I don’t enjoy about myself, I’ll lay it here, in hopes of embarrassing myself into Change.  Here it is: I make moral judgements on News Things before I’ve fully read about them. (It’s also a thing that we maybe all do, that maybe we should all stop doing.) I make these judgements quickly, based on a headline or a skim of an article that I cram into a tiny section of unoccupied time,  so I can participate in conversations and outrage and jokes,  so that I don’t feel left out, or alone. But WHAT IF INSTEAD, I waited until I’d thoroughly read up on the Thing,  before making my judgements, adding my commentary? Would I spend more time reading and informing myself, less time commenting? Isn’t my being informed on whatever the thing is more important that whatever commentary I might add which, especially if I’m not informed, is most likely not different from everyone else’s? And DID I JUST FIX THE WORLD?

 

Posted in a lot, arrogant art things, awesome, generally, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, the whole world, words, worrying | No Comments »

VERY SUBTLE, GOD

March 10th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

Last night I found myself in a not unfamiliar and very overdramatic place, a place I like to hang out in basically after each of my plays debuts in New York —   spiraling about my ability to write, wondering if I would ever do it again. I decided to look for more bad Cake reviews, searching for confirmation that I am, in fact, a shallow hack that should go crawl under a couch and or / go back to customer service. AND WHAT, YOU ASK,  DID I FIND? I suddenly have a  Wikipedia Page . A long and thorough wikipedia page, with  a section for Early Works. A page that includes not one but quotes from ALL of my bad Times reviews, but still, a page that steps through my whole career thus far, from overwritten one acts in festivals to TV awards nominations, my marriage to actor Morrison Keddie (my favorite part.) And I remembered that every time I feel for the tiniest of moments that I can’t do it anymore, that it’s all been a lie, that I am the empress really wearing no clothes at all — I get some little sign to keep going. The timing is always so sharp, it always feels as if I’ve written it. HI, SIGN. THANKS FOR THE NUDGE.

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, hmmmmm, the future, the writing of drama plays, theater, trying too hard, wanting, whining, YAY | No Comments »

flu thought

March 2nd, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

  • Takes hot bath to relieve flu symptoms
  • accidentally stays in hot bath for like a very very long time
  • once out of bath, decides to check temperature to see if it’s still going down
  • SEES THAT TEMPERATURE HAS GONE UP
  • CONVINCES SELF THAT IT’S NOT FLU, IT’S DEATH
  • GOOGLES DEATH
  • REMEMBERS THAT WE JUST SPENT THE LAST 45 MINUTES SUBMERGED IN HOT WATER
  • WONDERS WHY WE ARE SUDDENLY REFERRING TO SELF AS WE
  • FALLS BACK ASLEEP

Posted in a lot, generally, ha, whining | No Comments »

I don’t know why or when

February 24th, 2019 by Bekah Brunstetter

I found this picture amongst my things, and I’m not totally sure Why or When it was:

But given my tanned legs / popped hip, I think I can surmise that it was taken at Weight Loss Camp, ie that one Summer that I wore Confidence around like a bikini (and a bikini, I also wore an actual bikini /  for gruesome details please see my play  Fat Kids on Fire) but most importantly, I need to know WHERE AND HOW AND WHEN I PROCURED SILK BOXERS WITH FRUIT ALL OVER THEM,

And if I was in fact wearing them at Fat Camp, WAS the irony of the fact that I was wearing shorts with food on them lost on me? PLEASE LET IT NOT HAVE BEEN LOST ON ME.

Posted in generally, ha, hmmmmm, how interesting, i am a grown up, memories, what I'm wearing | No Comments »

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